I know he'll never really like me
I'm bad news

he knows it's not worth the risk
there's nothing to lose

this friendship is dying its weak
he knows nothing about me
I can't learn nothing about him

I know I'm distant and cold
he's out of tune
too far to catch

I can't move mountains
or half the sea knowing
he doesn't want to see me

this is obessesion
infatuation
all leading to nowhere

if we're still friends in five years
I hope we've grown together

my wish is to see your face soon
I won't ask you

I know he'll never really like me because he knows I'm bad news

he knows it's not worth the risk even if there's nothing to lose

I know I'm distant and cold
he's out of tune
too far to catch

he knows nothing about me
and I can't learn nothing about him

I can't move mountains
or split the sea knowing
he doesn't want to see me

this is obessesion
infatuation
all leading to nowhere

I want you to myself like a selfish man

my wish is to see your face soon
but I won't ask you

deeply afraid of rejection
I'll stay hidden

I know it can be so simple

but it never is

not with me

tell me
how do I make you love me

valentine cards
flowers but no hearts

I want to push you
so you can fall for me

how do I make you want me

boy it can be simple

it never is

not with you

you're in front of me

tempted

you're so forbidden

I only want you more

lust clouds my judgment

I can't have you if you don't want me

you should try being happy sometimes
you were always sad
never heard you laugh
or see you smile

miserable and lonely
I didn't want to be an ear

something good can work
unfortunately we didn't

you told me a story
I didn't listen to the last part

I've been thinking
was I too mean
to leave
was it too impulsive

I gave you a song
you will keep it forever

you gave me a song
I kept it to myself

it's a bittersweet ending
but I'm happy

collections
eyes

words
ears

drafts
mouths

all of the things
I can't tell

I always write in my head
never out loud

scared someone will hear a sound
what if they find out

closing my journal
keeping myself in the dark

hidden
noses

time goes by
everything changes
I stay still

pens running out of ink
it's 2 am I can't sleep

I'll stay forever stay dumb and naïve
won't teach myself a thing

this is home
if I go anywhere else

what will I find out in the unknown

please stop saying goodnight
then I know you're gone

you never come back

please come back

make it last

I'm tired of losing
tired of missing

I want more of you
am I greedy

I have no world
let me inside yours

sólo recuerda
te quiero
tanto

sufro suficiente
pero lo haga todo los días

caminamos
different caminos

te extraño
recuerda
te quiero

te pido
que no te olvides

las mañanas
y noches
llenas de tristeza

mi primer amor
me cerraste el corazón

estas aquí

tu fantasma
esta allí

no vuelvo
ser como antes

regresando contigo
igual como siempre

in the cups I drink from
the clothes I sleep in
the pens I write with
the ties that hold my hair
the jewelry on my ears

the shoes that cover my feet
the bags that hold my things

the socks that keep my feet warm
the nail polish on my fingers

the seasoning in my food
the dolls on my wall

you are my life

you gave me life
you taught me of life
you take it too

you are love
in my heart
the first I ever knew

you are home
no matter where we are
or where we go

in the quiet nights
we slept with the windows open
the nights we kept them closed to cover from the cold

I can still hear your footsteps
up the stairs

coffee in the mornings

love is small and simple

you are my everything

forever and ever

you are everywhere

every time I look at myself I see you

am I your puppet
or are you mine?

I can't find the exit
acting like you're wasted
you know exactly what you're saying

did you find your reason to exist
made a list

don't hate me
turning cold

I feel sick
painfully hurt

I hope you rest soon
left you inside

want you to cry
can you love
did you see it all

everything I give
so I can receive

I'm going to make you suffer

you deserve it

I like it

don't try and run away

the lies you fed me

easy to pick apart

when you broke my heart

I knew better

pulled myself together

I'm going to pretend

just like you did

shadows follow you

haunting your dreams

revenge is all I need

I've gotta hold myself back
I don't want to look at
you

I'm tempted
I'm wasted
thinking about
you

how quickly you disappeared
will you remember me if I stand near
you

giving up was hard
moving on is harder
I only wanted to keep you longer

I can't let you go
I can't leave

you're the one holding me
I want to pull you closer

these confusing dreams
insanity follows me awake

you
I can't see
I can't give up

you
in my thoughts
in my skin

you
disappear into my mouth
love me in hidden ways

all the people I talk to
all
but none are you
are you coming back soon
do you hate me too
staring at the ceiling
you're such a pretty vision
inside this perfect daydream
do you even care
all the things I wish to say
will they turn to dust and
disappear
don't pretend to forget
I know you wont

you can't have me
you can't ever be mine

you're in my head
you're in my daydreams

I know I don't cross your mind
you're in all my thoughts

are you so numb
you can't feel my love

trying to separate
not too close

I don't want to get hurt

are you scared I'll break your heart
give me a chance

I'll prove myself

don't make me confused

I don't want to wait forever

even now
seasons passed
months faded away

I hear a sad song
and think about you

remember how
you colored me blue

waiting for you to love me
how mistaken I was
wasted time I can't get back

your ghost looks lonely
I can't keep you close anymore

will it hurt to forget you ?

I get this sinking feeling days before

eyes hurt
and I can't breathe

remembering every past eighteenth morning
I've woken up

when I was laying in your bed
and took a shower downstairs

when I slept so late
I saw the sun rise
I took a picture
looking so vacant

or when I woke up to nothing
I was all alone
made my bed
later you came into the room with gifts

way back
when I woke up to her kissing my cheeks
the forgotten birthday card she made me
I will remember and the yearly tradition
broken because everyone had changed

I'm filled with paranoia
can't sleep

something is coming
something I can't avoid

the weight is heavy

it will pass
and leave me paralyzed

please don't say it
let me stay days away

from the happy birthday candles
that slowly burn my soul

the look in my eyes
hidden under the mask

sent you a message
you didn't respond

I've noticed lately
we don't talk the same
you're different
am I to blame
I wonder
what I've done wrong
I can overthink for hours
still I'll make sure it's your fault

lately
we're so distant
so different
I can't remember when
you were so close
I felt everything for you

it's sad
it's blue

do you even care
we fell apart slowly
catch all the pieces falling

you give me nothing
I can't trust you

feeling so incomplete
tell me
I'm wrong

can we save this
I cut our strings

bring me back
it hurts to look

I burned out

cut ties
erased everything

we weren't friends
why are we pretending

you won't even notice
I'm leaving out the front door

starting to breathe

all our memories
moments we spent together

will feel so meaningless

not yet
not now

soon

I wish you heard my favorite songs
but you turned the volume down

all you ever did was talk about yourself

she really likes you
so why don't you like her

you reply so fast
and it shows you're offline

ready to cut the strings
she's coming back
she always wins

I'm the fool again
she's not good for you
I'm too good for her

keep walking in circles

you can erase me now
forget me now

I keep my word
we will never be friends
I won't ever see you again

you're so insidious
it's true

I could never trust you

covered in red
the blood of a ghost

you love death so much
you cry yourself to sleep

full of envy
you're an immortal being

we shapeshift into so many things
why do you always turn into a liar

I want this to be over

if I let you go
will you haunt me in my dreams

you have so much love
but you can't find the right way to love me

so paranoid
and afraid

you turn into a ghost

don't want your whole life
just want a moment

share this
with me

a memory I can keep
one I will remember forever

every place is temporary
birth and death are permanent

I can't get rid of thoughts
you wish to know everything
regretful wishes you make

you want a fairytale
I can't be your fantasy

wake up
I want you here

if we cherish this
tomorrow will be worthless

comparison kills you
you place yourself so low

pick the petals off me
I look so pretty
till I'm torn apart

hoping for the best
when I feel the worst

you're so cold
please stay warm

you don't ever listen
are you real or part of my imagination

I cover my tattoos
if you love me
I'll hate myself again

I'll ask you a question
I know the answer to

I've known you for a while
why are we still strangers

like two people passing eachother
on a busy street

I don't think we'll ever meet

twist
around
go to bed

maybe I'll find your heart tomorrow

called you
sobbing on the phone

it was new years day
I think you were at a party

answered
so happily

I was on the floor
crying

why me
why me
why did it happen to me

I couldn't believe

time feels like fog

I really had no one
only the silence of surprise

months have passed
I don't like admitting it

please don't make me say
how I've been thinking about

the little things
you did
they still make me smile

I can't forget
the flowers are still inside my chest

you can come back now
come back now

I'm tired of waiting

please don't come back
I don't need that

did I plant flowers inside your heart
are they dead
can I press them

wish you liked me
so I could like myself

it's hard to navigate
through this world
alone

I'm not sure
if I exist
it's hard to recognize myself

I wish you'd love me
so I could love myself

it's hard to learn something good
all I know is the bad

I'm hiding away
from the stars and the moon
I don't want to see them anymore

we never change
we never will

wish you could see me
so I could see myself

hard work for a confusing life

no reason
moments fade too soon

eyes teary
losing my hearing

all my wishes will crush into a black hole
**** me so I can **** myself

I'm nothing but a sad boy
miserable, brooding, misleading

thinking about you when I'm all alone
when I have you I want to go

never satisfied
still curious

can I change
can I change
can I

can't focus
I wanted to find a heart

you're gone
I'm leaving now

trying to cry
terrified

loveless and lost
there's no where to go


what if tomorrow
what if today
my thoughts and memories drown
down the sink

you're online

I found a paperclip in my bathroom
strange place I'll never know

it's disheartening
sadly I won't message you anymore

I won't speak to you anytime soon

if this is a mistake
then I'll regret it later
for now I will try

can't say goodbye
confrontation is my weakness

another night I wash my feet in acid
stop myself from walking back to you

lately
I need to squint

closer the closer I get
I should go

I'm starting to see all my flaws
so I take my glasses off

I've been up and down
you pull me back
I'm trying to leave

lately
I'm start to realize
everything that's wrong
will I change or stay the same

I know we were friends
this distance is killing me
I have no patience to wait for you

I liked him
he was so transparent
could never hide away
I would always find him

all these pretty faces
I can't fake it
if I give you my name
will you take it

lately
in my timeless bedroom
the silence feels peaceful
I'm alone I'm okay

I don't want to wake up alone
for the rest of my life

if someone could hold me

there's things I want to say
will you listen

will anyone listen

my hands and feet are cold
open me up
I want you to see my bones

sadly I just wanted to be your friend
nothing more
but we are less

I wish I wish
all my wishes would come true

I could have you
you can have me too

how long can you try
before all of it
becomes a goodbye

open and closed
I should go
I should go

I torture myself a little more

is it a little better or worse
you were never mine

how many more days will pass till you ask me
if I'm okay

I'll pretend
everything is perfectly fine

I should stay
I should stay

he was right
the silence is loud

all the loud noises
I took for granted

the time we called
at 6 am
is too far away to remember now

I love too quiet
when I love
I tiptoe
I don't want your heart to know

one day
I'll be loud
one day I'll say it

invisible love

tell me you have invisible love for me

I'm asking for a miracle

I really liked you

I have the worst luck ever

forget about me
please remember me
there's no in between

I'm selfish
I want you all to myself

you were everything I had
I'm hearing all your favorite songs

I know I'm losing you
losing every chance

it's all my fault

no matter what happens
I never want to let you go
you're forever mine now

sometimes I let the demons write
for me

they take countless pages
I don't remember anything they said

that wasn't me
that wasn't me

out of proportion
to an extreme

have they corrupted
my entire mind

the pen is fading
when did I start to cry

I WON'T RUIN THIS MOMENT
NO MATTER HOW BADLY
I WANT TO CALL YOU
I DON'T WANT TO SHARE THIS MOMENT
WITH YOU
NO MATTER HOW MUCH
I WANT TO REACH OUT
I LET MYSELF SLIP AWAY
I RUN FROM YOUR EMBRACE
IT'S TERRIFYING KNOWING
YOU COULD BE IT
YOU COULD BE THE END
I WON'T LET US BEGIN

I believed
I could have you forever

I was asking for too much
I can't have that

I wanted to call you
in love

I wanted to say
I love you

too many bandaids
for all the cuts you left on my heart

I'm bleeding
all over again

missing you
missing you is the worst pain
I didn't want to experience


say you miss me too
say you love me too
say you think about me too

ease my mind
I haven't heard your voice in so long

I missed you
I couldn't say it
and when I did
you left
what did I do?

I missed you
I didn't tell you
and I never did
so you left
what did I do wrong?

I missed you
you missed me too
and we always will
there's nothing we can do

you miss me
I miss you

when will we have our happy ending

I don't want to miss you forever

just a drop of
cynicism

I hope you love me everyday
I can be the worst somedays

cold
mean
ugly

please wait

I can be

soft
gentle
loving

there's a dark place
I'll always go to

if you come with me
I won't be alone anymore

did you think you were special

oh how pathetic

I'm here
to remind you
you're not

it's cruel
the ugly truth

I'm being your friend
sometimes I have to put you back in your place

don't cry
it's okay

well
not for you
but for me yes

my perfect puppet
come to me

If you fall
I'll hate you

If you run
I'll hate you more

the look of misery
looks pretty on you

we could've been such a perfect pair
if I didn't scare you away

oh  well
oh well
your loss

she's not any better
good luck
I'm so much better

I'll be in the shadows lurking
waiting for the heartbreak

if you had chosen me
it would've been everything

it's too late
you can't have us both

I don't take home
leftovers

I play with the strings
that hold you both together

maybe I can sabotage
this just a little

I just want you to be disappointed
and I want her to cry

I crave the destruction
the broken pieces I can take

I hope you both
burn to ashes brightly

you want to go slow
I'll move slow
if you want to

so slow
I want to
wait for you

I'll wait
till you're at my feet

I'll wait till
you're crawling

I'll wait till
you're mine

patience
patience
I have all the time in the world

you're worth it

take your time
I'm not going anywhere

you're perfect
you're flawless

we can fall together

fingertips
of gold

I just want my
feet to be cold

please don't go
please don't leave me all alone

come to me
and say hello

I've got a big heart
why does it feel empty

why am I not loving
why am I not loved

am I unlovable?
I feel so lovesick for a stranger

it hurts to
loveless

love
is it worth it?

love
can't find it

love
I'm in misery

forgive me
all the ways you love me
I can't accept

I fail to realize
you can't love the same way I do

keep a lock on my heart
I don't want to be heartbroken

all I ever said
was for you
for you
all for you
everything for you

never did I think
and me?
and for myself?
nothing
I have nothing now

are we really friends
or are we lying

lying to my face
this isn't friendly anymore

I regret not losing you
when I had the chance

all those times
why didn't I give up

it's the worst
you stay for someone
who doesn't deserve it

making me feel stupid
stayed for someone who's worthless
now we're the same

happy now

I'm chained to you

are we really friends
I think I'm starting to hate you

would you care if I left

I'll dream of leaving you

wake up in misery
you're still in my life

is it so bad to want you

midnight
thinking about you

all the things we did together

I don't want to be alone
I hate spending time without you

getting lost in my head
one of these nights
I'll message you goodnight or good morning

I have to die
I'll never know if you feel the same

would love to hear your voice again
would love to sleep with you on weekend

is it true

I don't understand

lying is so distasteful
but so easy to swallow

lying doesn't look pretty on me
I still wear it every morning till evening

you can be my little secret
let me put you somewhere
no one will see us

let me hold you in the dark
so I don't feel so ashamed
embarrassed I know you're a mistake

who am I lying for?
for you or myself?

I try not to be a hypocrite
a little deceiving

don't believe a word I say

lies so sweet to spin
keeping me warm while you stay

I wish I was innocent

I'm such a fake

what a waste

pretending to be your best friend

why am I so hateful

I hate seeing you happy

I love eating your sadness away

makes my day

why are you never happy for me

you must hate me too

are we spinning this web of lies together

I can't even try to care for you

I tried to

I'm a liar

I told you so

the mask I wear is perfectly created

I can't take it off

maybe next time you want to leave

I hope you do

cheering for your downfall

I'm your bad luck charm

do you believe forever is real

every time I see your name
I'm convinced
forever is a lie

I didn't cryy
I can't process your lies

you gave me a good day
now all my nights are ruined

you won't hear me say a word
you won't find a happy ending

I am wrong
I don't care
I won't take the blame

sorry
I have no apologies

every bad thing you said about yourself
was true

you've bought me soap
all summer long

you make me feel safe
make me feel sane

I don't think
there's any feeling better than this

felt like the
right place
right time

a decision
I made that I won't regret
for the first time ever

you're the only person
I can look in the eyes

you're the only one
I can lean my head on your shoulder

never could find my place
so different now

caught up
why look behind me
when I can find you next to me

spending all my days at home

I forgot constellations exist

why'd you leave

I can feel myself go dark

I think I want to be alone

see you in my dreams

wiped away my tears

why am I always sad when someone leaves me

they should be crying

not me

you didn't even tell your real name
what a shame
I have to leave

crawling inside your bones
I have no where else to go

tear drops
on your hands

it's nice to see you're still alive
will you ever let me hold you

die alone
I won't die with you

thinking about confessing my sins
find a pure soul

I'll leave
if you tell me to go

there's nothing more
you only told me sad stories

let me read
when you were young and happy

at the end of the day
you don't deserve me
I don't deserve him

you're gone
not even two months have passed

will you really disappear
just like everyone else

I should stop loving
I should stop falling
for boys like you

I can't do this again

I still want to do all the things we said

don't you go
without saying goodbye

you're dying
and this love inside me is blossoming