listen to the music my ears heard
touch the pillows I laid my head
use the lipsticks my lips touched
wear the necklaces that hung around my neck
drink a glass of cold milk in the rain
listen to the sad playlist I made for when I'm sad
wrap yourself around the blanket I felt safe tangled in
wear the earrings that went through my ears
take my clothes and wash them
or keep the smell I'd wear them with
walk in my shoes
maybe then you'll know
wash your hair with my shampoo
write with the pens my hands held
read all of my poems
even the unfinished ones
listen to all of the recordings
don't take it too seriously

listen
look
feel
taste
all of the things I've lived with

keep them by your side

when I leave
I'll leave small pieces of me behind
find them

keep them
until I come back

in a dream
in a cloud
in a star
in the rain
in the sun
in the wind

find ways to remember me

I wish I had the heart to love you
the way you deserve to be loved
I can't comprehend

there's no ending
I reach into the void
no one ever reaches the abyss

I wish I had the brain to understand you
the way you deserve to be listened to
I can't love

living in the void
there's no beginning to this ending

dream dream dream
of
me
me
me

let's meet in our sleep
forgive me for all of the things
I never do

you speak a love language
I don't know

things sometimes feel good
sometimes I feel like I love you
love the moment we're living inside

so I wish to never give it up
let's stay here

don't want to leave here
I want to be with you
inside this moment

we could hold hands virtually
I'll send you my heart through an email
I hope you never go
send me a message soon

I want to wake up to your notification
I want to sleep to your goodnight text

I'm right here for you
whenever you want
wherever you are

right here
right here
right here

everyone

everyone

everyone lives on the moon

everyone dreams on the moon

everyone loves the name moon

everyone talks to the moon

field trips to the moon

everyone wants the moon

everyone loves the moon

everyone waits for the moon

everyone looks for the moon

everyone

everyone

it's back on
time to overflow
into this white screen
couldn't hear me scream

it's online
we're back
can it stay this way
much longer stay a little longer

I don't hear the bells ring
we crawl into empty spaces all of my words
wait wait we wait a while longer going offline again

hello poetry is dead
a ghost we come back to now and then
days change out of place let it overflow we won't go

our poetry will always come back to life

how many times
count

shut down
offline
where do I

my mind my mind lost

poetry is dead
it comes alive
dies right before our eyes
we write
talk of it
we bury it inside our heads

poetry is a ghost
haunting us awake
stuck inside our brains
lingering in our bedsheets
I smell its scent on my pillow

poetry died
I watched it crumble
I saw it's last breath
I knew it was the end

poetry
is deadly

we imagined
poetry was everlasting life

poetry is death

a thought
a feeling
a person
a time
a place
an object

we pull from our hearts

into this burning flame

it glows
it prevails

once our eyes touch the last word

breathing it's
last goodbye

hoping for someone to pass by
stealing a sharp breath of air

the words are gone
lights out

poetry is dead
rest in peace

I love you
I love you
I love you

far far far far
far far away

I can't touch you
I can't touch you
I can't touch you

live inside my phone screen
live inside my computer screen
live inside
online
open a window
close it
offline

I love you
I can't touch you

long distance
ruined
mixed
confusing
feelings

I want you
I want you
I want you

do I have to accept it
accept it
accept it
accept it
do I
do I do I

I can't have you
I can't
I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't I can't
I can

live inside my head
live in the reflection of my eyes
live outside

far far far far far
close by

clementine she's like me
he pinches my cheeks I pout
still not over you

thinking of the days
why did you leave far away
he thinks just like me

daydreaming beside you
where everyone knows my name
they will stay with me

die a little
think about old memories
faster and faster

amusing
how I break myself off

tearing myself apart into
tiny pieces no one can find

why is everyone so emotional
I can't be sentimental

I feel nothing

heard your voice from far away
I hope you quiet down so I can sleep

one drop
two drops
five
it's drizzling outside

drinking a cup of cold cold milk in the rain
teaching myself how to breathe again

catch a falling cloud
sitting around

learning how to breathe
drinking a cup of cold milk in the rain

ghosts crawl into this white screen
millions of poems haunt me to sleep

we visit this graveyard
broken bones
sacrificed souls

we're dead inside
poetry keeps us tied to life

burn the pages
I won't ever reach heaven

we wander into the depths of our hearts

it gets darker
and darker
before you reach the light
dissolving into your eyes

die
die
die a little inside

spirits
hand in hand
amidst your endless words

concealer under my eyes
you won't notice
I've been roaming around the cloudless night

something has to change

I don't take action
I won't look into it

sleeping at 1 pm
left my brain in thursday

something has to change

all the same things
repeating the same mistakes

more concealer
I slept okay
two hours a day

woke up at 7 am
why is it 9
again

sleeping is killing me

I can't change

I won't change

it's the same
same day
thought it was thursday

same shade
concealer
these long nights make me feel weaker

a nap for all my lost dreams
lucid dreaming into the afternoon
I'm feeling lighter

let me spill my guts
swallow it

can I tell you
everything

can I tell you
nothing

cut me open

eat my words

feed me your daydreams

I just want to tell you

let me have all the control

don't think
let me think for you

spilling my guts

running away

picked a hole in the sky
swallowed up
turnover
I run with the clouds
falling with rain

I told myself it'll get
better
better
better

I heard you say

cloudy day
the clouds are running
we run far
to the other side

it's better
better
better

will it rain today
will it rain today
will it rain again

I heard you say

it's different

farther
farther away

we run
fall
reach the screaming sun
stealing the golden light

I hugged a crying cloud
I caught a drop of rain in my hand
I killed the sun
put the earth's wind inside my hair
sorry
not sorry
I wait for my mistakes to catch up
for now
I
hug crying clouds
I **** the morning sun
I catch rain drops in my hands
guide the wind into my hair
I wait
for my mistakes to paint a portrait of me
committing the worst of crimes
against myself
the only love I grew up on
was destruction
self-destruction was my way of self-love
self-harm is my way of caring for myself
with broken hopes
my mistakes painted a dreary portrait
there
a cloud hugged me crying
the sun killed me sleeping
rain caught me falling
the wind whispered love into my head
some days
I'm sorry for everything

I've got things to say
look away
writing
pens and pencils
don't look in
tear a page
unopened letters
I hate
I've got things to say
forgotten memories
lost melodies
jumping tales
go outside
hide
find the darkest corner
and cry
echo out your sorrows
tell me why
I've got things to say
I will never say

Is poetry dead
took its last breath
eating up all it's words
I'm feeling so hurt
poetry is dead
we mourned for days
sounds of sobs heard around the world

we slept in silence
lights on

poetry is dead
hello poetry welcome back to the internet

tired of loving you
you pressed me like a flower
still growing
I'm still breathing
what are you thinking
I can't move
tear me apart
I'll find my roots
find myself far away from you

what's your favorite color
I'm worried
are you okay
is the yellow too happy
are you look for a different shade
tell me what music do you play
when you're looking for an escape
or the song that brings you back to reality
walk me through all your fantasies
she's doesn't talk to me
I'm worried
though
we're closer
I wonder if it'll last forever
just like
old days
I want to give you a big hug
disappear instantly
I fear rejection
and mock sincerity

this is the end
the beginning
and ending
bring out the aliens
it's pure humor
we hide behind it

because
this is the end
the fire is burning
life is dying
it's a forest
pure oxygen
why are we quiet

the beginning
to our end
we stay silent
post a tweet about it
broke and depressed
we hide behind a mask
send funny pictures
let's laugh and cry at the same time

it's terrifying
the old made a mess
the young must fix it

sixteen year old activist
millennials don't trust the government
mother nature is more than disappointed
pray
hope everything is okay
let's stay in bed until the world ends

7 billion people
I'll see you all at earth's funeral

Tear apart
paper hearts

sunny rain
****** rainbows
and blue haze

stuck in box
can't push me out

sleeping
for months
waking up in October


nice talk
now we're back to ignoring each other

sensitive
lost my bottle of tears
I cared for myself
I never noticed you were here

leave me
you know
you don't need me

I picked the moon
off the sky
she's inside my pocket

She's mine
She's mine

don't lie

I won't believe you this time

leaving
so soon
I know
you don't need me

the moon is mine
the moon is mine

She's going to leave me

and
she will always comes back to me

She's a liar
a fine liar
I believe her

shaking my head
she's just like the rest

followed her footsteps
into it

angels don't help me

there she goes
lying her way through it
she's so gone
I can't save her
so I drown

down
into
this
sea of bitterness

we're so lost
feels all wrong

I learned from the worst

nothing matters

nothing ever matters
with her

why fear death
when life kills you

- - -

what have I done

this isn't living

I'm holding my breath
I can't reach the surface
I'm still the underwater poet
in my head
overflowing
stop swimming

\ \

what do I do
I'm tired
I won't ask again
how foolish of you
I'm leaving soon
without you

is it okay
if I steal your face

make a living
I'll give it back someday

is it okay
to pretend

it's wrong
I know

can we talk for a small second
can you be quiet
don't ask questions

can I steal your face
I'll keep it
wear it when I see them
they're gonna love me

it's in my hands now
I'll never take it off

falling in and out of love
this is not real love
but I loved you simply because

ignore my messages
who's the ghost
I never call

I stay behind
staring
the back of your head is interesting

I'd like to know
everything
the stars
offer so much

ignore my happiness
shame on you
who's wrong
I never take the blame

I'll never hurt you
if I did
will it even hurt

I'm lost
you haven't responded
I'm hanging

you treat me like a fool
who's the first to crack

lost
in this confusion

do I deserve it
should I be more demanding

I don't love you
if I did
would you love me back

the toxic truth I swallow
is you do nothing for me
everything for her

all my friends are online
I stay outside

all these empty rooms
generation of fools

we're to busy looking ahead
let's look back
back
back

there's not a better time

the time we didn't exist
earth slept peacefully

the sun dies down
stars come out to play
let my tears flood the bedroom
a field of flowers talking for hours

I've not met a darkness
darker than my own

I won't change for me
I won't change for you

every time it rains
I'm reminded
I need an umbrella

cold rain
cold face

cold heart
cold taste

I loved you
and I left

you colored me blue
the life you gave
you took away

you're my blue side

100 percent chance of rain
100 % chance of heartbreak

cold lover
cold water
cold kiss

today I didn't love myself
and today I gave up

crawling around
my head

feels fuzzy
feels familiar

I held a pen
when I was twelve
and I never let it go

burned off
half my soul

I don't know who I am
no one knows me


I feel it
breathing
running inside
my mind

never goes away
in my sleep
in my conversations
spaced out

feels like a spiral

just like the day I found it
I can't separate
I can't forget

I know you don't love me everyday
I know that you can't stay

I know that
I know that
I know that

lip balm
thinking
what's wrong

fix it
fix it

I try

thinking thinking
I try

I know you won't love me everyday
I know that
I know that

If I leave tomorrow
will you stay

lucky me
lucky you

what's wrong
how can I fix it

thinking
this is it
nothing will ever be better than this
if it is
it's not enough

thinking
why

I try

I know you haven't loved me everyday

I know that now

you don't love me on the weekends
when he wants all your attention
I'm behind you
staring
loveless

you don't love me on Mondays
tired from Sunday
talking on the phone all day
I'm looking for you
heartless

you don't love me
when I love you

I reciprocate

we should love everyday

in times of sun
and clouds

we drift further away

I can't believe you don't love me

do you think you're better than me

if I turn around
look into your eyes
I won't catch you
I'd love to see you fall

losing sleeping over me
dreaming sweet dreams of me

rejecting your calls
ignoring your touch

I can't believe it
you don't love me!

I laugh
and I cry

I can't believe I love you

I think we aren't meant to be

I like boys
boys don't like me
I don't care

I like girls
and
girls like me
don't hate me

started from the top
what are we doing at the bottom

still down
I don't think we'll find a way back

on repeat
duplicating the same problems
replicating our regrets
there's no redo

I don't know
mistakes like to follow us
stuffed inside a cloud
waiting fall again

collapse
I'm afraid
of

I'm so fearful of
this

right to wrong

feels the same

painting over the layers

I'm still under and below

I like you
and it's vague

if you ask for my age
I'll respond with 38
will you still be my friend

I wait for you
and I won't say

if you ask for my age
I'll tell you the truth
will you stay

24
or
56

always
too young
or too old
for this

waiting for the answer

I will die
makes me feel so fuzzy

yes or no
tell me
my mistakes follow like shadows
in the sunshine

tell me
tell me
I want to know
even if it cuts
I can't change her

dying
makes me feel fuzzy

I know wrong
I don't do what's right

swallowing the consequences

waiting for the answer
with all my regrets

I want to talk about my day
no lies or secrets mixed in

I want to smile and laugh
feel it running through my veins

I'm wishful
so hopeless

I forget you
again
you're still crawling inside my head

I hope you don't judge
I'd hate to see that look in your eyes

I had an awakening yesterday
I'll sleeping it away

I'm living my mistakes

no one knows the cost
I threw away all my second chances

doors closed
I think I'm forever trapped inside

rest in peace
my last piece of sanity
jumped out the window

sleepless soul
I'll never leave this house

I'm living my regrets

no one knows the rest
walking backwards into my grave

sleepless so

glitter washed down the drain
off like my friends
I forget their names
they know I live in vain
counting my veins
waiting to rip one open

money hungry
I foolishly believed
she'd always love me
never more
counting off what I owe her

he doesn't ask for me
robotic or stoic
he doesn't ask me why I'm crying
driving off
I was feeling manic
he doesn't understand it

you don't know me
wandering
maybe you have the key
if I let you in
will you find me