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eileen Oct 2022
the same sad tune
looking back to you

when we were close
you knew the darkest pieces of me

I can't show you the brightest
it's cruel

I want to talk to you
family by blood

now
now everything is different

hearing something else
it's hard to make my own decisions

hard to forgive
can't always understand both sides

I know there's a chance
you're just mean

there's no difference
you could be the same

but I don't want to believe
you've changed
more twisted
eileen Sep 2022
you're a sudden thunderstorm
lightning out of nowhere

the lights go out
I question the rain

where have you been
my dear

I thought I'd miss you forever
I never wanted to hate you but I did
I thought I'd love you forever

why's it have to be like that
we broke away so quietly

I didn't notice you leaving
waiting for you to come back
months passed
spring
summer
autumn will be the end

you're that dark cloud
looming over my apartment
while the sun shines on the other side

give it up
I don't miss you
I don't hate you
I don't love you
anymore

the storm will pass
eileen Aug 2022
you were the gun
boy you were
pulled the trigger straight into my heart

I'm bleeding
so much blood
my heart stopped beating
hard to breathe

I would've given everything
given it all away
just to have you
one more day

if you had it all
would you waste it
throw me out

you were the gun
you pulled the trigger
straight into my heart

now I'm dead
waiting to see you collect my
broken heart

just to look into your eyes
I would've done it all

got me thinking
what would you do
take my everything
turn it into nothing

your affection is priceless
nonexistent

you have a big heart
but its empty

you were the gun darling
all the bullets piercing through me

I hope you have one left
to **** me
eileen Aug 2022
I don't understand
these days

it's a painful sun
second comes a hurtful cloud
then falls a sharp rain

after a pang of thunder
follows the sound of a siren

then the cries of a poor bird
seeking refuge

the storm is gone now

only the wastes remain

the air is left feeling delusional

it's all just a passing

but tomorrow I will see it again

this city gives me no rest

I wonder when I can leave
eileen May 2022
hard to dream of life
when all I wished for is death

sweet darkness
stealing my breath away

can't make a picture of the future
I keep painting the past

if I stand in the rain will I wash away
can I evaporate

I could be a beautiful cloud

there's so much life
very little time

collecting the puzzle pieces
of myself
eileen May 2022
you swallow so many pills
all for a goodnight sleep

do the ghosts
still keep you awake

the only words I can ever say
goodnight
goodnight
goodnight

never gave me the chance to say
good morning

you never do

it's late
why do we only talk
when you're running away

the only words I can say
you give me no chances

goodnight
goodnight
goodnight

do you have to go
to a different place
you're dimensions away

you're in my dreams
quiet mornings trying to forget
eileen May 2022
it feels like I've lost you
but you're right there
I can hear you talk

I miss you so so much
crying
I know you're gone

the heart I used to know
has burned up
the ashes running down my face

every time you leave
sending no message
I feel so abandoned

no goodbye
no hello

it's like you're lost
don't you feel the same

are we breaking
pulling apart
strings losing strength

wish I could tie you to my wrist
keep you in my hands

covered in loss
you don't ever say my name

you stand in front of me
I can feel you drift away
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