you're not my love

I wish for you too much

it's the wrong thing

real love will be present
and true

I'm always wishful and distant
with you

you're never around

I've been
dizzy in a cursed spell

I couldn't see anyone but you

sitting at the bottom of the wishing well

I was hoping you'd come by today

or tomorrow

or next week

maybe never

I'm drowning in my wishes

all for you

do you not wish me for me even a little

not even when you blow on a candle

or those pretty little flowers

do you not sleep wishful

like I do

staring at the clock

11:11

staring right back at me

i think about you at 11 pm

i'm too shy

picking at my skin

wondering what you would say

if i said something crazy

delusional and
once again confused

please don't leave
until i leave first

know there's lots of secrets
I won't share

unless you ever ask me to

i'd do anything
anything you ask me too

walking in a circle
because i think

i think
dangerously

i hate that i see pieces of myself in everyone
but i can't see myself completely

do you think
dangerously too

something so small
can become
a sweet dream

all the songs I dedicated to you
don't mean anything

to me

I pictured the best of you
then I burned it to ashes

you'll never be who I want you to be

don't tell me we have a chance
you're lying to yourself

I can see the truth
it's right in front of me

I want to look away

I hate it

you have nothing to lose
so you'll have me

I mean nothing to you

my hands
hurt

it's hot but negative zero
outside
I'll still turn the fan on

you don't want to say it
should I

I've been thinking
about saying everything

I want to scream it
out loud

you were my best friend
I was so happy in a world alone

you left me
there's nobody who will listen

you can throw the flowers out

you don't want to admit it
I'll ignore everything

my old best friend
I want to disappear but I don't want to let you go

it's going to hurt
if I leave

I'll stay for a while longer
just a little more suffering
a little more pain

to see my smile fade away

you can tear the story apart
you can burn my words away
you can twist my lines

I know everything
who's the real villain

hidden in plain sight

they burned all the bridges
I won't lie

the truth hurts
choose wisely
what you will say

you can throw me away
you can disown me
you can judge

it will always sadden me
how you will never be free

be careful
I've got nothing to lose

I'm in my right mind
are you in yours

you can't compete
don't think you can forget me

it breaks my heart

don't say it

I'll wait till I close my eyes
so I can be happy again

your warmth
wakes me up cold
in my dark room

it breaks my hearts

I remember the reality
you're not so special

it's all in my head

to have you
I'd have to give up
everything

I won't break my heart to have yours

you're too good for me
I know I'm wrong for saying this

I should get out of your way
you didn't give me time
I am dizzy in love

deep down I know
there's no beginning to this love story

you won't look back for me
tossed to the side
there's more important things to do

I'm going to say it
there's no stopping me

....

it's okay if you don't feel the same
we will forever be best friends

I will try my best to smile
if you ever to try to find me
I'll be here