hey here come the holidays
I haven't answered your calls

my eyes roll into my sockets

we push and pull
I rant and you never listen

instead you call me
talk about your girlfriend

I hate to say
I wait for the day you're lonely
and you need me again

I loved being your only one
that's all gone now

you pushed me away
so I'll go away

my only constant

the constant voice
telling me something is wrong

something doesn't feel right
it never does

wish I could get up
start my day early

blame the weather
the heavy clouds pressure me

nothing hurts
I'm too robotic

I haven't found my soul
time is cutting close

I'm a bit narcissistic
my friends are never enough

too many people are ignoring me
I'm trying to keep everyone in my sight

don't close the windows at night
you know you can still call me or come over

I'm a bit selfish
sorry I forgot to ask about your day

how have you been
you know you can tell me anything you like

I'm a narcissist
losing all my friends

selfish
I just want all the attention

it feels so good
when you say my name
in the darkness

when we pray
with your head between my thighs

it feels so nice
when your hands are holding my face

I hate the way you say my name
when the night has ended
you changed my identity

I am too attached
I love you too much

please don't leave
stay in bed

it's too cold
don't let me fall asleep alone

still remember
those cold December mornings

I had no jacket to keep me warm
you kept the car on till I had to go

wish I never met you
we're so nonexistent

I tried so hard to like you
you were so quick to hate me

I want to undo it

undo everyday

undo everything I did

catching my breath

your ghost
smiles from the corner

I'm haunted by everyone's expectations
everyone's false realities

it won't be long
I'll ruin my image
I just want to be happy

all that bad energy
all of it is gone

it's all gone
gone
gone

don't you worry
I'll be fine
without you

with you
I'm always wrong

tell me what you want
I can't wait to be the best version of myself

even if you hate me
I don't care because all of the pressure

is gone
gone gone

I needed a place
I can be alone

I'm so happy now
because you're

gone

I think it's time to let myself float
after so much time

I deserve to breathe again

one day I'll let myself swim