Not always good and evil
Often beauty and truth

51 years, 51 years
Ah! My long lost youth

Mark and I still friends
First met when we were ten

Ordinary Sacramento
Extraordinary San Fran Zen

Too afraid to let myself wish
I could ever see her again

But if I could, if I could
Where? How? When?

But then there come the numbers
What is really going on?

37 thunders
Like a numerologicalathon

Probably doesn't mean anything
Perhaps my son is right

But it happened yesterday
And it keeps me up at night

                                    Synchronicity Insight!

Leaving the Museum of Science and Life
   fun with the boys, now with my wife
        Prince on my stereo (later ****)
                  Love come quick.

13800
Haven't stopped quite yet

Blaise Pascal did Wager
On Galway i did bet

Some people touch so deeply
Just cannot forget

Love is patient and kind
(and hot and deep and wet)

Springsteen on Broadway
Dylan in DC

B.B. King in California
Stockholm by the sea

The mystery of music
Music of mystery

1 is the loneliest
Grateful for my 3

        Let it Be!

1 horrific marriage
3 beautiful sons
O ye Americans!
Please give up your guns

Play a little basketball
Un pequito fun
Twilight fades to darkness
Now the Day is Done.

I had a panic or terror attack
When I was 13 or 14:
Extreme fear of dying
Of Nothingness
I'm 53. Still afraid.

Her tulips in the front yard quite beautiful
Marriage is actually impossible
Children are joy
Satellite Beach, not Miami Dade

I like libraries
Please find me there
Nat Turner
Rebel Flayed

Slowly guacamole
Watch a few movies
Grateful green couch
Karaoke Krakow played

             The Maid

Uber at night
Small talk
    alone

14101
I keep on, keep on going

My 3 beloved sons
No one really knowing

Once I was a teacher
Train time in Taipei

Never could quite reach her
Silent is the Way

Here tomorrow
Gone today.

Cliff Pickover
Palindromic primes

Stanley Yelnats
Mind that rhymes

7:37
Waking times

Madam I'm Adam
Freedom's chimes!

14242
Do the best that I can do

To her i will be true
From a distance who

Meditates alone
Writes with my cell phone

Longs to hold her close
Needs the second dose

Patience to endure
Still not so sure

1 and 1 makes 3
Springsteen poetry

On and on we go
3 cheers for yon Reno!

Sage Ridge School, merci
The Old Man and the Sea

Basketball twilight
Farewell and good night!

1 for Q tonight
1 with fear and hope
I no longer go to Mass
But I like this Francis Pope

3 days in Vienna
Q and mom asleep
All that beautiful snow
That I don't have to sweep

Q too can cook
Give him Paris, France!
Give him Tokyo
A girl with whom to dance

               A fighting chance

History is written by the victors
But even the losers get lucky sometimes
The winners get the Nukes
The losers get the Rhymes

Was in Japan for a wedding
Amazement. Bullet trains.
Loud pachinko machines
Silence, like Prout's Neck, Maine

Taught a little Winslow Homer
Plus Edgar Allen Poe
The Shinkansen is a wonder
Tokyo to Kyoto

Life not what we wish
Most fantasies don't come true
The symbol of the Fish
Virginia the Traitor Crew

         John Brown: 1 4 U!

I for you, Q
2027
2772
See U through

                 greenblue ...

Enceladus in the news
Maybe baby life
Assassinations too
The chaos and the strife

My son is now 15
Soon he too can drive
If aliens exist
Will we know if they're alive?

Arrival, Close Encounters
Diana Walsh Pasulka
She went American Cosmic
I went Oompa Loompa

We keep searching, searching
When we die:  Who knew ya?

                      15

The silence is eternal
I can feel it bearing down
Grateful for my sons
Not a man of much renown

Lonely, sad, and hurting
White the hotel sheets
Breakfast in 3 hours
Suffering repeats

         Susan. Illusion. Sleet.

Waiting for my son
  hope. Fear. hope.
           waiting

Well, i finally told her
Took me 36 years

Shy guys finish last
Too many fulsome fears

Probably will not matter
Alone i shed my tears

Time tick tocks on
The end i sense: it nears

                 15 - 51

Up in the middle of the night again
My house silent as God
Can't stop thinkin' about her
Not likely. Not likely.

My son went to a Christmas party last night
Grateful for his job
Grateful for him
Sweet 16

I ordered the book about Chinese hermits
For those who walk the path of solitude
Tea and oranges
Protector of the Mountain

Wittgenstein to Alex
And Cornel West
Prayers for the animals
Things Not Seen

        Chicago Blues. Dublin Greens.

Religion is a form of mental illness
Truly, this I know
Jesus was also mentally ill
The Bible tells me so

Almost ran out of gas tonight
Had to call my dad
California Coast
Sweet Sir Galahad

Almost ran out of gas
But made it to 7 11
To be remembered with love
The one and only heaven

Death is annihilation
But we'll never know it
Edgar Allen Poe
Inner Harbor poe-t

            Ravens!

Nothing ventured, Nothing gained
Hit me at 15
Carolina blue
Irish eyes are green

She moves and Colorado
Patientia
Prayers in the night
I read Things Not Seen

Mystery and Coincidence
Let us rise and go hence
Ain't no border fence
Her thighs - I'm in between

Knocks
Clocks
Shocks
Ameen.

Maybe no physicality
Just supposed to send the letter

Try to find the Road
For religion to be better

Knew her when we were 15
Never will forget her

Volleyball in Dublin
With an Irish setter

             Spike.

so much my yearning, zero ***
   maybe only if another life is next
      her beauty my mind resigned collects


                           Susan!

My son turns 16 tomorrow
Keep him to me close
Movies in the morning
A kind of holy ghost

All these little poems
My lonely little life
Keep him company
Sophia in the strife

                    16!

No one important
Just as well
I take a walk
Call my dad

Joan Baez when she was young
Ethereal voice
Wayfaring Stranger
Sweet Sir Galahad

Cycling the Baltic Sea
Krop Kun Kop
Xie Xie ni
Best time I ever had

Tired
Lonely
Only
Sad

I too have known boredom
Nothin' at all to do

I sit and sleep and wait
Is the train a-comin' through?

Greyness all around
I miss the seagreenblue

Rain cam down came rain
My umbrella: $16.22.

Solitude again
As when 23

But I'm not Michael Jordan
I can't fly like he

Now I'm 51
Solitude is lonely

Age brings broken heart
Distances bring only

Memories, just traces
Flickers in twilight

The beauty of their faces
La Florida delight

             The sight!

16868
ordinary, ordinary: not great

I try
To meditate

But mostly
I just wait

Still remember
My first date

Please destiny
Not fate

Tiger temple
Dragon gate

Much love
A little hate

John Keats
William Butler Yeats

Mr. Spock
First Mate!

The anguish of Harvey Dent
Gotta pay my rent
Flat out tired and spent
Waiting

Letters all were sent
Ms. Pascal says to get bent
Not much for the Council of Trent
Hesitating

37 cent
Wonder where she went?
Gave **** up for Lent
Debating

When they said repent
Wonder what they meant
Leonard Cohen heaven vent
8088ing

The anguish of Harvey Dent
Gotta pay my rent
Flat out tired and spent
Waiting

Letters all were sent
Ms. Pascal says to get bent
Not much for the Council of Trent
Hesitating

37 cent
Wonder where she went?
Gave **** up for Lent
Debating

When they said repent
Wonder what they meant
Leonard Cohen heaven sent
8088ing

Johnny Cash
Said he always wrote his titles first
I always write mine last
Gonna Break My Rusty Cage and Run

Whitelash
Against Barack Obama
Led to Trump and the Trumpfucks
Held Up Without a Gun

Mr. Incredible and Dash
Discover that Jack Jack
Also has powers
House of the Rising Sun

Dylan uses the rawhide lash
Against Marx and Freud
With laughter and tears
She's the One!

Light on Franklin Street
Light in yonder stars
Light in their voices
Light in local bars

The night is dark and scary
The night is filled with stars
It's the memories we carry
The give us all the scars

One day I'll lay it down
Few will even know
But I woke and wrote
And I went below

I came up a poet
A rolling stone I throw
Good can come from bad
Songs from vertigo.

Do I have anything left to share?
Should I pack it in?
Am I ridiculous?
Have I learned from sin?

Am I a Warrior Poet?
Is that some kind of joke?
Can shamans be middle class whites?
Did I write because I woke?

I wonder what she thinks?
Do they know me in the Catholic Church?
Will the deer keep appearing?
Are they part of my search?

Why did I see that owl?
What did he mean by meant to be?
Do I have a task to do?
Will there be kind women for my 3?

                     37ly

Bruce Springsteen.
Night with the Jersey Devil.

I was led to 17 lines
She was just 17
I'm Carolina blue
But my Irish eyes are green

Once I was a teacher
Read books to the tweens
Now I'm just a dad
Still love Things Not Seen

Alone in the night
Miss my sons and brothers
Nearly 24 years later
Still miss my mother

Quiet Conversation
Dialogue with the Other
3 prayers for Chicago
3 prayers that hover

          Exoplanets. Discover!

Nothing out there to save us
We rise or fall on our own
American politics is pathetic
Hope in the Unknown?

Women are quite cruel
Sleep feels so good
Give up your guns
Protect your neighborhood

Bus ride through Dublin
Trains South in Taiwan
Lost in Translation
Here and then we're gone

She was so pretty at 17!
Gentle, kind, a light
Kiss her on her forehead
Hold her. Hold her tight.

           terrible plight

Something draws me to 17
Which would be 1986
I'm really very boring
And I miss her licks

17 and 37
3772
Math is mysterious
Cliff Pickover in my view

17
You can drive but can't vote yet
Teenage girls remember
Politics forget

She was just 17
Paul McCartney in Baltimore
You know what I mean
Open the closing door

                Soar.

**** and 17
My little Rock N' Roll Queen
Just a little bit obscene
Carolina blue, Irish Green

What I like about you
And I like Ben Vereen
All That Jazz
Feelin' groovy, Tolkien tween

Chapel of the Cross
At times just a bit mean
I am so into you
And she is in between

Dylan in Tahoe
Seattle homeless scene
Dylan in Orlando
Jolene! Jolene! Jolene!

    Rolling Stone magazine

To An Athlete Dying Young
Is the one that I remember

I was 17
Might have been September

I still play basketball
Now shoot by myself

Loveliest of Trees, the Cherry Now
Tolkien on my shelf

                      Will Ferrell
                             Elf

Love is not Lord of heaven and earth
Hate has some towns too
But love is the finest thing around
And what i wish for you

The silence is eternal
Shunyata in chants
Mary is maternal
Shiva does his dance

Sacre Coeur on my honeymoon
A few days in Paris, France
My marriage now dismality
No luck with real romance

Fo Guang Shan one afternoon
I wore my Springsteen shirt
Moby **** in my bag
Prayers for the Divine Inert

                  Unhurt

Tolkien is comfort to me
He survived World War 1
The Hobbit - 1937
Magic the Gathering for my son

Who turns 17 today
Very hard to believe
I held him on my chest
No bigger than my sleeve

Now he's 6'0" 180
Benches, lifts, squats
Gonna take him to lunch
There is no Camelot

But there is dailiness
She emailed my wife
1 for you true Q
Satisfaction within the strife

                   Destiny!

Just poems. That's all.
My particular form
The way my mind works
Some calm within my Storm

My grandfather was an architect
Built the family home
3333 Drummond Rd.
Toledo. Detroit. Rome.

I've been to sunny Italy
Kinda liked Siena
Wedding in true blue Tel Aviv
3 days in Vienna

My momma was Ms. Sally Brown
She loved me like a Rock
Surely Satellite High School
Both a geek and a ****

                     17

Little Jesuit college
Play some basketball
Hang out in the bookstore
Quiet in the night

Take my medications
Restless. Uneasy.
Wake at 3:07
Things won't work out right

It's true we face extinction
Walk the railroad tracks
Mental health crises
Two green lights

The gifts reserved for age
Punishing regret
Still ain't seen her yet
Enduring appetite

               17

I taught Stanley Yelnats
I listen to Bob
Workin' in the Spirit now
No more paying job

Madam I'm Adam
?Was it a car or a cat I saw?
Un pequito Espanol
Only the honest outside the law

To hot to hoot
Do geese see God?
Geeky still at 52
My parents called me Todd

Ah! Satan sees Natasha
A Toyato's a Toyota
I might buy a Camry
To Seattle past North Dakota

                 !Dad!Mom!

Trying to give you my best
I've been a Travelin' Man
Nature mystic at times
Also Sam I am

Problems with relationships
Women don't understand
Problems with anxiety
Nashville with a tan

Read a lot of books
Taught a poem a day
Little Sage Ridge School
Won ton in Taipei

Got the grandiosity
Need for beauty views
Encounters with Chinese Hermits
Kabbalistic Jews

          Hints. Guesses. Clues.

Trying to give you my best
I've been a Travelin' Man
Nature mystic at times
Also Sam I am

Problems with relationships
Women don't understand
Problems with anxiety
Nashville with a tan

Read a lot of books
Taught a poem a day
Little Sage Ridge School
Won ton in Taipei

Got the grandiosity
Need for beauty views
Encounters with Chinese Hermits
Kabbalistic Jews

          Hints. Guesses. Clues.

Stanley Yelnats and Zero
A teacher, not a hero

Just now no paying job
            Dylan. Bob.

              I listen.

So I wonder if she will hear?
Does she know what I fear?
Does she know I still hold her dear?
Yo no se. Still unclear.

3:53 and I'm awake
Just a little William Blake
Istanbul: love to make.
Belle of Belfast. Finnegan's Wake.

Tired and lonely. Yo soy Todd.
Synchronicities. My mind or God?
I plot and place, Pope and plod
Nor can foot feel being shod

Yellow sky aglow last night
Sor Juana's mystic flight
Alex in Tucson. Two green lights.
Frightened, lonely, but willing to fight.

                         Eckhart
                 Not Sein und Zeit