It only takes
a
pinprick
to shatter
your entire heart.

Neither of us is God
but I finally found
someone who
answers my prayers

Sometimes the light
isn't at the end of a tunnel
Because you're stuck
in a hole
You dug to rock bottom
looking up you see the sky
Out of reach
Without hope
Darkness creeps
it doesn't run
Rock bottom
Is the best place
To build again
With recycled materials
from broken dreams
Sewn together with
Your own heartstrings
So looking up
is looking forward
Make the climb
And see the light

Sometimes,

Hello

can be the most difficult
word
to say.

broken people
break people
and baby you
*******
shattered me

I am forgotten,
As my footprints
melt
in the snow.

I sit on a swing
Unstable and free
I slide through the air
No one notices me

I sit on a swing
With a noose on my neck
The seat falls out
My life was a wreck

They put up a swing
To remember me by
The swing never swings
Their act was a lie

The tree crushed the swing
They cut that ***** down
My memory is gone
But my ghost is around

When he runs his hands together
It sounds like sandpaper
Waiting to shape raw wood
They're rough because life isn't always easy
But hard work makes it worth it

Because cost and value don't measure success
If he had nothing to own, he wouldn't be worth any less

On Saturdays, we watched the History Channel and ate donuts with forks
Sometimes my grandfather would tell me his tales

I learned about cooking
Always season it well and prepare a bit more
Because there's no telling who'll show up at your door

I learned about fire
Like life, it's relentless, but you always fight back

I learned about chivalry
It may be asleep, but it'll never die
Because opening doors, compliments, and hand-written notes can keep love alive

And I owe me to him
I am a man because he led my way
He brought me out of darkness
Without ever knowing he was the light

We built model airplanes from Balsa wood
And classic cars from plastic;
Our dreams are simply disassembled pieces
There's no rules or instruction
We can build whatever we want

I find myself in the crowds of Central Park
The trees look taller than last time I was here
I’ve never been to New York

I’ve shed at least 54 tears in the last 12 minutes
I count them as they drop
Like seconds ticking off my clock
I can’t wait for tomorrow because
Maybe then I’ll feel better

The grass is green under the snow
I dug down to make sure
It took me 33 minutes to touch bottom
The grass was dead
It hasn’t seen the sun in at least 3 weeks

Maybe it is safer to be alone
I know for sure it’s easier to be alone
At least it was when I didn’t know what good company felt like
Now I can’t even read without feeling eyes over my shoulder

I don’t fit in here or there because of my odd mentality
I’m not mental, but my thoughts will soon be detrimental
I take a shower to feel better – it didn’t work
I go on a run - I didn’t make it back

I finally wake up; still crying
6 feet under and my heart finally calms
The dirt is fresh on my palms
I dig my own grave over and over

26 angels have arrived for orientation
Taken from the world without hesitation
Heaven is a little more crowded:
There’s a place already prepared
At least tonight those who’ve passed,
Will rest in God’s care

Buried under heartbreak, Newtown still stands
Worlds changed, for this kid and the next
“Kids, 2 +2 is…” BANG -
Children were unable to protect,
Themselves or their friends

Gunshots filled the air
Instead of love that should be there

Flags at half-staff, leave us half-hearted
Soo many, like too many,
Will spend their Christmas
With families torn apart
And no New Years resolution
Can make up for the inhuman execution

May we ever look to love unconditionally.

The adrenaline rush that I felt in your arms
Was enough to burst the fragile heart in my chest
See, I’ve been dropped before
I fell to the floor of love and my heart cracked like your mother’s vase
The pieces shattered in each direction
Breaking the walls of my heat’s protection
So when I was with you, the braces came down and the bandages were removed
My heart’s wings spread for the first time and I flew
Once again I could feel hope and show it in my eyes
You’re the doctor that cured me
You’re the pilot that flies my heart
Because my feelings for you could power a locomotive
That could carry the sorrows of the world to it’s broken tracks into the valley of relief
I dare say I could almost fly
Not metaphorically but literally
Sometimes I catch my heart floating a little too high
Out of it’s place, but still in bliss
It skips a few beats and comes back down
Like a hot air balloon filled with the heat of my feelings for you
So if I, one day
Defy gravity and begin to float away
Jump in the basket
Our adventure will have no horizons

I have heavy boots
My boots are filled with all of the things I never say
They are getting heavier with all the things I never do
Sometimes it’s just easier to wear heavy boots
At least your legs get strong

She said, "I can't swim"
With a voice so confident
The ocean believes
They're still best friends.

She’s the kind of beautiful that made
Narcissus self-conscious in the first place

She captures the world on film
I capture her on my memory
I wouldn’t mind if I used
all the film I had on her

Her smile tells you it’s OK
To be yourself
Because we all doubt ourselves
Undeservedly

Walking in the night with her is
The most illuminating experience
I’ve never had my own sun
To revolve around

Being her reason to laugh makes me consider
Betrayal to the beauty of silence

I’ve recently developed a hypothesis
It’s crazier than the idea of an atheist
The truth is the hardest pill to swallow when it stings like a vaccination
So I’m dealing with the fact that my love may be broken

I’ve had a broken heart but those can be repaired
With time, effort and divine intervention
The fibers of the heart can be re-stitched together
But my love – my ability to love – seems to be destructive

When you care too much, you lose what you wanted most
I wanted you; so I said so
That worked like a poison, numbing your feelings for me

My love is like a broken boomerang
I throw it out with heartfelt emotions
Hoping and waiting for your love in return
But my love never comes back at all
It doesn’t even come back as a letter ‘returned to sender’
It simply died when it was on its way

Whether in your negligence or on the journey love take us on
My love died like a single drop of water in the desert
I wish I could figure out the enigma of love and the defect mine seems to have
My love is broken like a bird without her wings
Grounded against her nature and denied to possibilities of true life

My love is withering in my own heart – you can only love yourself so much
I was ready to give you all I am
But somewhere along the way I feel like my love is not only broken…

I tried another time to love another soul
My broken love had a heart attack and died in route to the grave
It wasn’t taken to a hospital because my love was a lost cause
Something unworthy of its name; love

My love was never seen as love by any other being
It was seen as infatuations or crushes that crushed life out of attraction
So now that my love is dead, what do I have to offer the world?

We all respond to lost love in our own way
I would fight until I had no breath or strength – then again
Maybe it’s not my love you need, or even want

That’s the trouble with loving you
I overstep, overlook and over-wish
My love was just too strong for it’s own good
Now I weep in the arctic for the faithless cruelty

An arctic that I call summer from the frozen tundra of my heart
Hell has frozen over – hell has become my heart

A haunted house
Because
People are
Always
Looking for the exit

I give her my jacket knowing when she’s gone
It will still smell like her hugs

Putting my arm around her shoulders is more honest
Than when I raise my arm to the square

I don’t know where she is going in life
But I wouldn’t mind if it were the same place I was

The wind blows silently when she is speaking
Because even the flowers want to listen

If her smile were a disease, I would gladly infect myself
Especially if there were no vaccine

My chest is an air mattress when her head rests against it
I don’t mind when it deflates, brining her a little closer

Even in the winter I can smell fresh-cut grass
And it brings back memories I wish she were a part of

If I were made of mirror, when she looked at me
She might understand why I stare

It's a rugged terrain that would roughly be translated
survivor.
The vast mountains make the trees feel weak because they don't grow very high.
No one blames them.
The ground and snow are intimate and unashamed. They called in sick because today wanted to be a memory.
The cottages and home protect the defendants of Vikings and barbaric voyagers.
These towns are clean and safe.
This island is hostile, but welcoming.
Our visit is not a burden because Mother Nature has been ripping herself apart
to embrace us
like family.

Could have convinced me
I am not
Irreparably broken
It would have been
You

I felt
like I had to be cautious
Because the crunch of every footstep
Was going to wake a sleeping giant
Kind of like when I coughed all night
As a kid
Mother was going to have to take care of me
From dusk till dawn
Sometimes people are worth more than sleep
I felt
Like that wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen
It’s been so long since I felt the embrace
Of someone who really wanted to be there
I felt
Like I was finally home
The snow was a blanket that wasn’t cold
And I gratefully snuggled in
The sun was my brother
Showing me a better way
Out of the darkness
I felt
At peace in a torrential world
All of my pieces could finally find a place
I could fit them together
In way that doesn’t make me second guess
Everything I see in the mirror
I felt
I could finally figure out how to be on my own
Like being on my own wasn’t so bad
Because I didn’t feel alone
Despite no having anyone around
I felt
It’s possible to find a purpose
Even without a home, without family or friend
I felt
I could find a purpose that came from within
I felt
Something
That changed everything
Because it’s been so long
Since I felt
Anything
At all

Give me a halo
And call me an angel
The demons are shouting
To finally let go
I'm still on this ledge
Look out below

I have a purple heart
I used to have so many strings attached
I was the marionette, and you were the master
And slowly, you got your strings around my heart
I never saw you, thread in hand, approach me with such deceit
As you started to pull my new heart strings
I felt the aches as you slammed my heart against the locked door
A cell of bones and blood there to protect from an attack like this
Now trapped from within and unable to escape
The strings keep pulling and the aches never dull

I took it for a long while thinking this was affection
But effective protection would have expelled this spell from hell
Cast out witches! Burn them like they did in Salem
It’s what they deserve for the worth that they earned
I cast you down with stones in hand
Cut my heart strings thinking I would be free
After 16 months, I took a look inside my chest
My heart was gone – replaced by a smooth river stone
I saw the runaways note addressed to me
It said;

"Hey, I liked those strings. I worked so ******* them. It took me the whole 22 years we have been traveling together to create. After all, what do you know of love? You just cut away the ties you had to me. So I’m sorry, I have to go. That woman always cared about us, cared about me. And you cast her into the flames of indifference."

The epistle was signed with a purple heart

So I got my purple heart
From the heart that quit it’s job
I held the letter and began to sob
The tears smudged the ink and the letters ran together
I saw in the river of words a “P.S.”

"PS – I told you about this girl. The one you never talked to because you didn’t have the courage. I told you she was the only one I could care for."

I have a purple heart
And I have no heart at all
A girl took it, without ever knowing

I want to memorize
The movement of her lips
As if they were a three-word
poem

Please look at me
Like you never
Want to blink again
Because I need to know
I’m worth paying
Attention to

I can shout it because I’m pitiful,
But I’ll whisper it because I'm weak.
It’s the only thing light enough to say.
And I’m sorry saying sorry
Won’t change a **** thing!

Death doesn’t care how much we cry.
Even if we swear to change,
To cork the *****,
Or
Come home on time,
Death will carry on as usual.
Without skipping a beating heart

If her smile were a disease,
I'd gladly infect myself.

Inside every pessimist is a broken optimist.
Inside every realist is a disappointed optimist.
Inside every optimist is a little bit of hope.

You’re the singer standing in front
Of a standing ovation
Trying to hide behind a microphone
Because you cannot comprehend
How bright you are
Actually shining

Her name sounds a lot like my prayers.
I know she can’t hear them,
But God pays attention to the things that make us happy.

When she looks into the sky to marvel at stars,
She has no idea that every star is staring back at her.
They shine brightly because she brings out the best in us.

Her smile has never solved any problems.
It makes every problem an opportunity.
Like how love can finally set you free.

If we were together, time would stop.
Father Time would fumble his watch faster than he dropped his jaw.
If we were together, the world would break.
Mother Nature would be explosively jealous of her beauty.

My heart was accustomed to living in pieces.
I don’t bother with doctors because they can’t cure soul-mate separation.
When she came along she didn’t try to change me.
Piece by piece, she put me back together.

She told me she feels empty when we aren’t talking.
As if my words are raindrops that make a difference in the ocean of her soul.
I commit all of her words to memory.
As if I could nail myself to every T, and be closer to making a memorable sacrifice.

If I spent my entire life try to deserve her,
I might save enough to glance at her smile.

In case I die tonight, I want you to be my last thought.
My last word deserves to be your name, whispered on
My last breath, only audible for God to hear.
Death might be waiting patiently for me.
There is nothing else I can imagine dying for

Things are things and
Verbs are verbs
When you hear chirps
It’s probably birds

Feet go in shoes
And shoes on the floor
Music echoes in ears
Leaving you wanting some more

A heart is a heart
Until it’s beats aren’t for you
Love isn't love
Until you share it with two

Then comes the end
As all good things must
Settle on the shelf
And gather life’s dust

"Too late" is a lie
So get back on your way
Start life over
If you can, start it today

I have to tell my heart that I am worth living for
I argue with my legs that I am worth supporting
I promise them that one day I'll take them to new places
I tell my hand that I’m worth holding
But sometimes, I tell myself to let it go
Because I really don’t have reasons for any of them
All I have is hope
That they don’t leave me in my own shadow
My shadow only sticks around because Peter Pan stitched it to my feet
I don’t blame it… I would leave me too
That’s why I don’t blame the people who choose to not stick around
They choose another person's life to live in
I like going to movies by myself
I would rather read a book than write my own
I know that I’m weird and I accept that as "good"
So when others tell me what I already know
I pretend that they’re not saying it with negativity
Like it’s been done typically
I know that I stick out
I wear really bright clothes and I’m obsessed with my shoes
I’ve never listen to them, but I can feel the rhythm of  blues
I feel like Chicago blues get her lyrics straight from my life
I’m still trying to convince myself
That missing myself is worth fixing myself
I don’t have an argument that I’m worth all the effort
But once I stop… There’s no one left
I’ve been on my own for a long time
And my tears don't quench my thirst anymore
My arms are sick of only having me to hold
My chest has swallowed my pride
My mind and my body have left me alone
I would leave me too

It wasn’t the time
To start dropping lines
About love and forever
So I hung “I love you”
In my closet
Next to the skeleton
Who’s been begging
To see the sunlight
Sometimes we let our hearts
Act as a vault instead of
A home
We lock things away
Trying to protect them and
Keep them safe
But ultimately
Everything dies
Emotions fade because
Even though we say “forever”
Forever has a way
Of changing people
Cursed be the man who isn’t
Changed by time and experience
So locked away in my heart
“I love you” began to decay
soon it’ll be another skeleton
I’m afraid will come tumbling out
So instead of saying anything
I’ll give you the combination to my vault
And hopefully you like what you find
Like maybe it reminds you of treasure
Something you will want to keep
Instead of selling it so you have enough change
To wash your ***** sheets

When I was in 4th grade a girl named Claire
Kicked my ***
And left me on the blacktop
I swore it would never happen again

When I was 17 a girl named Ashley
Kicked my ***
And left my heart in pieces
I swore to never trust love again

I just turned 23 and a girl I shouldn’t name
Kicked my ***
I wanted to give her everything
For the very first time

But I never got off the blacktop
My heart is still in pieces
Love is still untrustworthy
I need to learn to fight.

Leaves are a little bit like girls
When I see a really crunchy looking leaf
I want to march up to it and step on it
Hear that sweet sound of spring’s death
Bringing way to autumn's beauty
With all her vivid colors
The changing trees swaying
In the chilling breeze

Leaves are a little bit like girls
When I see a really pretty girl
I want to march up to her and say something catchy
Something smooth
Something groovy, like,
“Hey darling.”
“Congratulations on your face. It’s beautiful.”
Caught off guard by such forward bravery
She’d be taken aback by my chivalry
Opening the door to opportunity

Although leaves are a little bit like girls
There are distinct differences
And I know you can all be my witnesses
A leaf is waiting to be crushed
Like a back waiting to be popped into place
Girls aren’t so fond of ginger boys
Or even ginger men
To come straight up and lift them on the pedestal of admiration
Girls are shy too; it's not just me
I simply want to say
Something to make her smile
Like, “I want to talk with you a while”

Leaves are a little bit like girls
No matter how hard you try to rake them in
They blow away in something
As light as the wind

I will die.

In order to authentically die, you must live authentically. Some live so casually that death is not their end. They fade. They leave. Death must be an honor, not a fate.

My life will be proof in my death.

I loved my family first. I allowed them to continually conquer my heart and time. My affections were used on them and not the things my coffin refuses to contain.

The opportunities we are granted will be on our last breath. Confirming we were successful at taking them, or full of regret and bitterness.

There is no need for resolutions or bucket lists. Today is my life. I plan to make it count. God and I are the only mathematicians to this equation.

Our life is amplified by our death.

If an artist wants to make money, they best thing they can do is die. (Jackson, Shakur, Leonardo, Twain, Lewis, etc.)

I am not particularly excited for death. I am not morbid. But if I have to go through it, I’ll make my life worth it.

We are perfected through struggle.
Like sunrises after hollow nights.

You have to get up; try again.

Because even the sun has thought,
"I am too weak to stand,"

And rose anyway.

You shine brighter than the sun, even on a perfect summer day.

If your mind were a book,
I'd memorize every page.

I used to talk about love
Like I knew what hell I was talking about
I had all the clichés mastered
My mind made sense of
Nonsensical things
Like, tackling a girl into the snow
and her liking it...
Because it seemed to make sense,
I did it - and it worked

Back when I talked about love like
I knew a thing or two
I would use Crayons to color my best
Staying inside the lines
But love has no lines
I knew so little that I didn’t catch on
A flawless drawing just means
It doesn't have character at all

Now that I talk about love like
a ******* fool
I step on your toes
I laugh a little too loud at
inappropriate things
I respond to your “I’m fine”
With a quiet hug

When you hear someone talking about love,
Like they think they know
What they're talking about
Just give it some time
Once you realize how little you know
You took the first step toward understanding

Trying
To be a legend
Won't
Get you into heaven

Love is not casual
Radical and sensational,
but when you said, “let’s be casual”
You took my heart you’ve held for so long
In your sweet fingertips
and squeezed the life out of it

Love is not casual
It’s supposed to be astronomical
The supernova of your life,
a shooting start or solar eclipse
Something that makes people awe
But love always rips the notions
of causality with a casualty

Because love is not casual!
The fight that’s fought in a heart
can be bloodier than World War II
Where worlds apart crashed together
So forgive me if, here in the dark,
in this chamber of sadness
I cannot be casual

Love is not casual
If we are neither hot nor cold,
brave nor bold
Then it seems to serve no purpose
Except to torment;
like the astronaut with the shuttle launch
that will never happen
If he never sees the moon,
they both have reason to mourn
Casual is the word that will have them torn

Because love is
Sensational, capable, beautiful, wonderful
Love is anything but casual

"I love her," I wrote my friend.

"Why did you tell me?" he replied in the end.

"I don't know how to say it," I said full of shame.

"The first thing you do is start with her name.
Pluck out the her, replace it with you.
Put down your pen and pick up your voice.
Say those three words and give her a choice."

I mistook her eyes
For birthday candles
And when she whispered
Hello
My wish came true

I cannot see their eyes, but their faces haunt me at night.

I have never felt the touch of their lips, but I can never forget their hands.

Love is a fickle thing and if you aren't brave enough, it won't hang around.
I learned through loss that courage has nothing to do with what you have.

8-year-olds who don't check under the bed have courage.
17-year-olds who know how to say "No" have courage.
Mothers without husbands have courage.

Love wants us to be courageous.
She asks a lot because she will never give up;

Broken hearts come from people giving up on her.