It has been a rough ride. Life turns so quickly, I still feel sea legs and motion sickness.
There's a saying, "A year ago I never would have imagined I'd be where I am today."
I think that's true.
I also think humans are ****** life planners.
I hope my presence wasn't too overbearing. Often, people made me feel like my physical presence, audible words, and oxygen consumption were inherently pretentious of me.
I never thought people thought much of me.
Those of you who voiced your love, it made all the difference.
Perfection was never within my reach.
My failures are too numerous to count; some too humiliating to admit.
But I tried.
Please understand my imperfection, and if forgiveness is requisite, I hope you can.
Forgiveness is a noble strength; be stronger than I was.
I know that God is real, and loves us.
I guess I need Him to tell me personally. Right now love feels like ash, and humanity is the flame.
This isn't the end of me. I want to belong somewhere.
Don't ask, "Why did he go?"
Rather, "Why didn't he feel like he could stay?"
This was a challenging prompt. Someone asked me, "If you were to write a suicide note right now, what would it say?" This is a response to a prompt; this is not real.
Anyone with suicidal thoughts, there is help. Our emotions are real and powerful; writing mine helped me understand that. You are stronger.