I have no expectation for things to last.
Everything has a clock, an expiration date, an erosive half-life.
After taking stock of my current relationships,
I realized I'm hesitant to invest in people
because I don't think people will stick around.
People change.
People leave.
And for people who don't deal with change well
like me
that means
a sort of implosion.
Humans constantly assume different roles.
Mothers become grandmothers,
friends become strangers,
brothers become fathers.
With that, even family will leave you behind--
out of sight out of mind.
And I haven't been thought of in such a long time
I begin to think
no one will ever see me again.
Now I'm just wishing I can be useful in some way, so I can stop feeling like the world is tired of carrying me.
I sit,
watching people pass by as their world changes,
and mine falls apart.