some days they are sad. sad about the weather, sad about the thing that happened last night, sad about losing their favorite book, sad about their coffee being cold, sad about the fact that they can't find matching socks. lots of things make them sad, lots of nothings make them sad too. you see, when you have a predisposition for being sad, every little thing counts.  so when you ask her why she is sad and she cannot answer, do not press further. do not go looking for a reason that just isn't there. when you ask what you can do and she says nothing, do not be hurt. do not feel useless. when she wakes in the middle of the night and she is silent, but you can feel the bed shaking as she cries, do not assume you know what she is feeling. you don't. hold her if she wants it, don't touch her if she doesn't. if you ask her if she wants you to stay and she says yes, do. but if she tells you to walk away, do not listen. stay with her, because if you don't, she might not be there in the morning .

It's a relief that you don't call or text me anymore
I always felt sick to my stomach, worried is say the wrong thing
I'd watch you explode, like fireworks over the lake.
I was so intrigued by you, and terrified all the same.
Please don't call me tonight, don't call me anymore.
I'm afraid that if I hear your voice, my fuse might be cut short.
Another explosion is not what we need right now.

****** fists rest at our sides
we're too exhausted from this fight
to finish it at all
We'd leave now if we could
pack up our bags and try again another time
but timing was never our thing,
and I can hear the clock

ticking
tocking
ticking
tocking

****** fists carry us home
And they sting so strong but we don't say a word
because our ears won't stop ringiby
screaming a high pitched laugh
mocking us

Ha
ha
Ha
ha

****** fists can't carry us anymore

It took me almost eighteen years to learn that you don't have to quit breathing to be dead, to be gone.

It comes and goes in waves, sometimes like a hurricane, and when it's crashing on the shore it's almost as if it's crashing into me, destroying all the walls I built to keep myself safe, to keep myself sane.

I've been dead for a while now, and you cry at night because you don't know how to fix me, and I don't cry anymore because I know there's no use.

I'm sorry that I gave up on myself, and I'm sorry you haven't learned that it's easier to let someone die than to try and revive a ghost.

How do you fight a war when you know that nobody is going to come out a winner?
We both have blood on our palms and wounds in our hearts.
We're both so **** tired now,
it's been months of back and forth,
fake smiles and quick kisses,
But we both already know that we lost it long ago,
we're just fighting for the sake of the fight.
We're too far gone to save, but none of us will raise our little white flag.

I thought you were everything to me. I now understand that I was wrong.

2. I thought hearing you say "goodbye" would cause my lungs to collapse, and my last breathe would feel like our last kiss, but you said goodbye and I smiled and waved, and our last kiss was nothing more than a peck on the cheek.

3. "I'll always be here for you" turned out to be a lie and I guess I should have seen that one coming, because I don't remember you saying one truthful thing, but for now I'm grateful that you hold the honesty of a snake because I'm the prey who got away.

4. I don't cry on the bathroom floor like I did when we were together. I guess I always assumed you were the medicine the doctors give you to calm you down, but now I see that you were the poison I was trying to escape.

5. I was never very good at following my instinct.

6. I'm not sad anymore.

You talk like you know what you've been saying, but I have seen that twisted smile before and I know you're lying through your teeth. You're lungs must be rotten by now, considering how many ***** breathes you take, but I must admit, you do impress me. I watch you walk across the room with such bravery, as if nothing, no man or woman with iron eyes and steady breathes could take you down, and I know it's all forced, but you make it look so natural. It all comes back to me like a wave crashing on the shore; I know we've been here before but it feels so new this time around. Your tiny whispers crawling up my spine in the middle of the night suffocate me suddenly, and in the middle of this room I can hardly breathe. It's been so long since we talked, but you're a snake and you've been in all my dreams.