Drifting, aimless, lost

She walks in complete darkness

Robbed of sight
Her fingerstips brush against
Coarse thoughts

Her ears bombarded with the crashing of
Harsh words

Gust of soft whispers
Caress her hair

Her feet delicately dance on
Sweet goodbyes

Pains slithers up her legs
Slyly warping her abdomen
Crushing her lungs

Her mouth is overflowing with
Passionate kisses

Her back arching against the slightest Graze of pain or pleasure

And there she floats in limbo
Succumbing to both beauty and beast

She knows not where she is
Yet she can feel more than what her body
Can withstand

Alone is being surrounded
By a crowd all day every day
And not feeling a ******* thing
Alone is being in a room filled with people
People who consider you close
People who truely care for you
People who you've invested in
In their lives , in their emotions
People who have laid themselves bare
Yet you're so emotionally disfunctional
You're unable to connect on any level
People who you know so well
Yet they know so very little about you
People who think you have it together
Who dont know you're caught in a whirlwind
Of depression and anxiety and above all
A lonelyness that you cant seem to shake
A parasite ******* out all the empathy u have
Until you're just a factory compressed machine
Doing what it's been programmed to do
You realize how defective you are
Not when u feel lonely cause no one is in ur life
But when there are so many who do care
Who do want to listen to your problems
To your anxieties, to your fears
People u know you can trust
Yet you've become so accostomed to this demon
If anyone is your friend, it's that demon
Looming over u every night as u lay numb,
Heart compressing as if about to give out
And just collapse on itself
That's loneliness
And you cant depart with it
Because it's your only friend
You're so conditioned that u cant possibley
Fathom yourself without it
You're trapped
And loneliness is all you have

All you know.

We all know the sting of grief
the burden of strife
The caress of relief

We all have felt the coldness of winters;
breathed in the blossoms of springs


Some, the lucky, linger till they've had their fill of moonlight
Others take their leave, bowing out long before twighlight

This is life, there is no sorrow or glee
It's not beautiful it's not ugly, c'est justement la vie

So stay with me for as long as you have the chance
We'll stay drunken on Joy and dance,
Some good wine and romance!

Time passes and takes all in its longevity
Every creature, every mountain kneels down in humility

All earthly matters end in rumble, the dust can finally settle
The grandest will wither as the gentlest flower's pettle

It knows no sorrow, no pain, nor regret
Cradling the young and old from this realm to the next

T'is life, t'is law, none shall know pardon
From the darkest of forests to the sweetest of gardens

Let it resonate through the earth for anyone can tell
The chime and the rhythm of sweet requiem bells.

Tic tock the birds all cood
The clocks and pendellums swiched and swood

He loved his clocks, they kept him company
Even to a vampire, immortality gets lonely

He was an odd one of his race no doubt
The only one he knew who slept spread out

Clausterphobia is uncommon to find in his kind
But even in his coffin he felt confined

He thought it perfectly reasonable though
As he paced around his clocks to and fro

He always found the coffin dark and stuffy
If you had to sleep forever, you'ld choose
something big and fluffy

More ironic than that he found was his fixation
Time to him was an endless execration

His fate rung in his mind with every tic
A rhythmic reminder beginning to make him sick

It's actually madenning listening to every tock
Eons have past with these God forsaken clocks

He finally decided to pick up a bat
And smash every cukoo bird he had outright flat

But even as he lay on his fluffy white bed
Staring at broken bits and gears, his relief unsaid

Still he found the lair a tad bit dry
No more company around to keep him by

He realized that there was not much to be done
He should make the most of his time, and have a little fun

But first he had to spruce up the place, making sure it wouldnt frustrate
With something that, prefrebably, didnt remind him of his fate

He sat there staring at nothing, stiff and perplexed
And thought sternly to himself "Maybe snowglobes next"

Dandilions swept by the summer breeze
And sore past the crashing shore
Stretching to yonder horizon peaks
Far from whispering hymns
Beyond the isle of mundane tales

Oh how i wish my heart was as light
To then be carried by flirting gusts
Escorting me with arbitrary candor
Further from these infertile soils

Maybe, with luck, to the smoldering sea of dark
Where shimmering eyes of light are housed

Bright lights dance and flicker up above this cave
Swaying, dancing with the rythym of the waves

Hope and joy mock me right past the wrinkles
Of the ebbing, flowing sweet water ripples

I shove, i stroke, i reach out as far as my fingertips will strain
Trying to pull against this weight, this ball and chain

I envy the water, how it engulfs, enshrouds, and even embraces
It burries you in silence, and dulls down your senses

Its more than me, i cant fight against  its vigour
Stuck swimming in place, against this current so rigor

A weight so heavy keeps dragging me down
I struggle and gasp trying to escape from the drown

Desperately swimming up, its even difficult to think
Cant help but feeling that its easier to sink



The raw wording behind this poem:

I cant take it anymore
No matter how much i swim upwards
The bright surface only seems to be getting farther
Im stuck in place
The current is too strong
I hate the water
It surrounds you
Its more than you can ever be
Im envious
It envelopes you
Burries you in silence
Dulls all the senses

The weak arent saved
no one is ever saved.

Only the strong are permitted to crawl out
The weak though….just lie there.

The weak are forgotten.

Reality is cruel, dreary….

Bleak.

It lacks color.

Only a black abyss stares back at me.

I crave change.
I crave more than just the blackness.

Color.

Give me color, no matter the choice.
Give me grey, and i'll live in beautiful greys

Just give me color...

I dont want to be the bold words
Yelling to be noticed

Nor the italics
Wanting to be different

Not even the commas and periods
That set the pace and flow

I want to be the silence
The beauty unheard

Present in all works, that's what i want to be
Nothing more than the spaces in between

It's easier to be alone and away
To have a reason not to stray

Yet all i want is to jump off the road
And sprint to where the river flowed

Waves crashing on the river bank
Screaming of unheard voices that sank

Now the water has all dried from our eyes
But no worries, not long new rivers will arise

This time ill run like lightning  into the woods
Reveal all the secrets i haven't understood

The fear of being devoured by wolves does not phase me
Nor do the red glowing eyes staring behind flowering dogweed  trees

Still i do fear leaving the road all on my own
Severing myself from everything i've ever known

These rocks and pebbles that i have come to know so well
Yet all these roots and weeds haven't even scratched my outer shell

Why am i anxious of rocks and pebbles
Why can't i gather the courage to rebel

Patient trying to grow accostomed to this aesthetic
No need to lie to myself, i've just become apathetic

As the roots try to chain me to tranditional toil
My feet cant help but itch for new soil

Murmers flood the alleys of the streets
Bustling feet stomp in unrythmic beats

At the edge of a bridge she stared at the distance
Ignorant of the man she stole with her innocense

He found her standing, looking light
But knew she was using all of her might

He smiled at her with such charm and zeal
He caught her eye with emotions so real

They laughed and chatted for what seemed like hours
They shared thoughts of everything, form pancakes to flowers

He didnt know what his words were doing
He didnt know her emotions were brewing

Each visted the bridge almost everyday
Trying to bump into eachother in some way

To flirt and blush and speak of madhatters
Soon sharing more of intamite matters

With him her walls dropped, no longer on defense
He made the colors of the world burn more intense

Not long they began parting by hugging goodbye
Till the next day they'ld meet, she watched the seconds tick by

With every embrace he held her tighter,
And the stars they shined just a little bit brighter

Snowflakes race down in a glacier pace
Nature holds still posing in white elegance and grace
The trees stand naked with no shyness or shame
With nothing to hide them; still striking all the same

strangers everyday stride along the road
None really cares other than huddling from the cold
Someplace In the distance i hear a crackle
Breaking this silence with a simple rattle
Both heads turn, his and mine
Eyes locking somewhere along the line

As if aware of what the other was thinking
Suddenly we knew eachother, just for a twinkling

Neither dare even stuttered
Not one sound was ever uttered
Words are trivial, they lose their sense
When thoughts can travel through eyes intense

Someone familiar to me whom i understood
Who knew my secrets as if whispered from the woods

Souls can speak through just the eyes
And meet with the souls of passersby's
The souls will talk and dance and share
Their vessels stand still, compeletly unaware

Later we part, each in their own manner
Oblivious in knowing we were friends by means grander


We found each other standing at a distance
But knew eachother only for an Instance

I am words
With no ears
I am ink
With no paper
I am paint
With no canvas

I am thought
Losing consciousness.

A companion, a friend
Amidst the dark of night
With a flick, a click
Shines a yellow light

I want to be that little lamp
Perched next to a book
And languidly sit with a friend
In quiet solitude

Entering world after world
Through line after line
Staring advently over a shoulder
Waiting for the next page to turn

Words that bring sadness
tearing open old scars
Words that elate us
With a sudden smile

Not the worst thing to be
In fact i'ld quite enjoy
Content right where i am
Being a friendly reading lamp

I murdered someone
In cold blood and hate
I murdered someone
And it felt as if it were fate

I held the knife
Held it like a mighty sword
I released myself of strife
And spoke in harsh words

It was there indifference
It feuled my anger
No longer struggling with dissonance
Yearning to strangle her

They cheared me on!
Like a gladiater in a pit
Words with venom spun
The victim not worth the spit!

Entertainment, they cackled with a grin
They loved watching the blood drain
A place where they vented there sin
So i let the blade slide, let violence reign

Blood dripping from the sides
The voices became quiet in return
The indifference back in their eyes
Echoing not an ounce of concern

I lay there drenched in crimson
An empty vessel with a hard shell
Able to take a beating, no hazed vision
Adranaline gone, i've succumbed to hell

They dragged me out in my state of confusion
Society had destroyed yet another soul
Im both victim and ******, we are one
They watched me **** myself, unware of what they stole

There is more that one way to **** a man
Judgement and hate can be a gun
Shooting you down and you cant understand
So you shut down, realizing there is nowhere to run

It's easier like this being indifferent
Feeling numb in exchange to stop the pain
It's easier like this, not being spent
A calm mind in exhange for cut veins

I murdered someone
In cold blood and hate
I murdered someone
And it felt as if it were fate

Cool sheets press against her spine
The sluggish fan does little to shift
The thick air smelling of musk and pine
As silver moon rays struggle to get through the rifts

Windows sealed shut as if to retain in the room
The scent of him lingering in old shirts laid bare
His sweat on pillows and his pinewood perfume
Clinging onto the small bed they used to share

Slipping into her self, into memories so gripping
When the sun shined bright even in a storm
Wishing to dive through the photo clippings
Like portals to a past of kisses so sweet and warm

And run into his arms, feel his smile on her neck
Have his arms slickly wraped around her waist
Pushing troubles into the distance till just specks
Freely dancing to the rythym of hearts that raced

Now all that's left are the ashes and dust
Black clothes resting on this haunted floor
The stench of death seeping through the rust
Her begging to just whisper his name once more

Oh i'ld love to be a paper plane
Made by a child and tossed to the sky

Oh let me be a paper plane
Floating light into the light

Of such simple design
Anyone can make a paper plane

So please oh please bend me
Break me so i'll have freedom

To glide proud fueled by innocence
To travel as far as the wind will take me

Oh please oh please help me
I want nothing more than to be a paper plane

Stuck inside a picture frame

A moment captured in time

incased inside a picture frame

Unable to move on

Past the walls

Past the glass

Past this instant so sweet

Watching ruins crumble

Shielded by the translucent sheet

Caged or protected

The line between them fades

Colors paled from the scorching sun

I cant seem to break away

By what means must you be drunk
To find yourself face first with a pink trunk

In the midst of the night
When things arent quite right

The moon seems to get a little nearer
And your eyes no longer see much clearer

Your stomach does trapeze tricks
While your feet wobble on tall sticks

It can be quite a fright
When u see that strange sight

Of things that shouldnt, that suddenly are
And surely pink pachyderms qualify as bazar

Especially when one is holding the moon
Dragging it along like some silver balloon

Barely thinking this devil's drink has me out done
But it didnt seem right this shifty elephant on the run

Finally leaving with a huff and shocked i must admit
Seeing that the elephant didnt even have a 'moon transfer' permit

The night lingers

The silence shrieks
Piercing the tranquility
Only i can hear it

It echoes
Bouncing in my mind
In the recesses

On the rooftop
Smoke and ash
My mind races

Cigarette burns
Everything decays
Nothing remains

Smoke and ash

I move like death.
Silent breath.

Im the monster in every tale.
In the witch, the fiend, even the white whale.

Im wreched and vile to my very core
Im fear, im envy, im so much more

I am the night
I am the light.

Putred, disgusting, my pelt pusses with slime
I'll live through it all and rise straight through the grim

There are more of me. We spread like wildfire
Nothing quite quenching our desire

Ill turn on my brother, it's loyalty i lack
If my eyes wander to a meal behind his back

My hunger ferociously consumes me, Im a slave to its will
it controls how i move, how i breath, when i ****

Ill charm you over with just my grin
Then in just one moment your world will spin

I wont leave your screams, even if u beg

For you see, I live in your home…

                                 …and stand on two legs.

We're just tic tacs
Stuck toppled over each other

In a box
In a pocket
In a purse
Or a socket

Just tic tacs waiting
We'll be bought and eaten

Used selfishly
Eaten in ones
In pairs
In threes
In handfulls

As a snack
To be sold
Freshen breath
Eaten when bored

Just tic tacs in a box
Juggled on the road
By people bigger than us
Who can use and abuse

Dispensable tic tacs
One after the other

All the same

She: My soul aches.

He: yh?..well i have socks on my head.

Rushing and running through a busy day
Good will and laughter thoughout the way

Everyone loves her bright charming smile
how she fiercely keeps it strong all the while

All day far away from her humble abode
Not till the dead of night she returns to a room so cold

Its not the busy day that keeps her from this room
None know she's running from a four by four tomb

The keys rattle as she trembles, placing them in the lock
Bracing herself as she musters up all her courage in stock

Fatigue suddenly overcomes her body while
she removes the mask engraved with the smile

She tosses it on the floor with all the others
Till the next day she'll use one of its brothers

She sits in solitude, in darkness, waiting for them
Having memorized the routine in this forgotten asylum

Help her help her, her pride all vanished  
The demons attack, they'll never be banished

They scratch and claw on her very soul
She didnt know why she paid such a toll

They beat her, break her as they feed off her will
They never slow down, even long after having their fill

Left limp on the floor numb and alone
Nothing ever changes as if written in stone

All she can do now is feel the phantom anchor
Of parts of her slipping every night in this mannor

She stares at her veils spread across the floor
A heavy weight on her chest dragging her down all the more

You'ld think she attends every mascarade ball
With all these visages she's left riddling the hall

Im swimming in darknes as a crippling weight hangs over me.

I find myself constrained so tightly breathing has become a challenge, thinking has become impossible.

Fatigue rusts me, chaining me deeper into my prison.

A crowded street or an empty room show little difference in the sunken eyes of solitude.

Solitude is not the lack of life around you, solitude is a vile terrifiying demon.

It plagues you, consumes you, feeds off your life force until the pulse of another living creature cant find its way past your skin.

Then, it just continues to feed.

Its not the room that's empty.

You're the void.

You're your own blackhole, freefalling within yourself with no bottom in sight.

Fatigue. My very soul aches. My consciousness is abandoning me;
                                          
                                              im slipping...

Floating silently
Guardian of darkness

Guide of the lost
Friend of the vagabond

No one is a stranger

We've all met through the light of the moon

Whispers can be loud
And travel far into the distance

Through hushed winds
Through suspicious trees
Through subtle thoughts
Through quiet streets

A whsiper will just carry itself
Quiet and low, weaving in and out
Creeping from crevice to canyon

Stretching far beyond its origin
To finally land in the recesses
Of an unsuspecting mind

There it will house itself
And murmer words on end

These words will breed
And spawn more of their kind

And soon the offsprings will grow loud
Constantly nourished by these hums

Unknowingly, thoughts will emerge
And they will ring their brazen bells with vigour
Secretly orchestrated by lingering mumbles

Yes, whispers can be loud