I am master
Of my foolish heart,
Of every last mistake.
Each word that slips,
My downfall
Sings of the Inevitable.
The losing hand,
The heartless bluff
Is only my design.
Each lonely path,
Each unheard gasp.
Always had to be.
A self-fulfilling prophecy.
A self-destructive irony.
I'm master
Of this pitiless dream.

The certainty of this world
Caught me off guard.
I saw no trace of rot
Or ruin,
Just a love and desire
That blinded me,
All truth served only to deceive —
Secrets became wounds.
Familiarity—Invasion.
Your place removed.
... in your shadow.
These dying glories
Leaving words rattled in my skull.
Love became an ungodly deed,
Made only to *******.
My dying desperation
For your rejection and scorn,
Just a change of priorities,
Nothing personal
Try to forget.
I won't text or call.
Great will
A final act of love.
No way forward,
No way back.

Give me a shot.
Remake the love we had,
Still breathing.
Buzzing.
Retrace the steps
That led
To our brilliance.
Breathe life into the dead.
Kiss cold lips,
Steal the fading pulse.
The words we shared were vows
Not just empty mutterings.
Not sounds flung into nothingness.
Meaning given virtue.
Love speared on eternity.
We are falling stars
Cursing our path.
Corpses bloat the rivers.
Churches burn.
We are this shoddy ******.
This is our beginning.
This is our end.

We are a liars, because
the truth of yesterday becomes a lie tomorrow,
whereas letters are fixed,
and we live by the letter of truth.
The love I feel for my friend, this year,
is different from the love I felt last year.
If it were not so, it would be a lie.
Yet we reiterate love! love! love!
as if it were a coin with a fixed value
instead of a flower that dies, and opens a different bud.

I tried to forget,
To remove the love stuck in
my heart.
A stray bolt, embedded
In soft flesh.
I tried to know the love I felt...
I feel.
To understand its core.
The intensity.
The resilience.
Now alien,
Unwanted.
Flagrant and indecent.
A love that taunts.
A love that won't be forsaken
                     won't be buried —
A love that doesn't understand
You're gone.

I feel the sea, is the last gift I'll ever receive
I will be given nothing before it
And definitely nothing after it  
As soon as it glosses my skin I will leave
Sink into the known hate of my blood
And fall in love, and only believe in sea
And never feel the need,
For anyone, or anything else but sea
I can imagine it now as I close my eyes
I can see the darkness not of the skies
But of the sea, and I feel like breathing and...
I breathe in sea air, now,
I know, there is nothing else
I will ever care for again

everyone says they know
the finality of love
but you
became
the end
of
me
.