Love yourself
Before you love another
Or else you'll always wander
And wonder
What love is.

He sat atop his marble throne
In silks of radiant hue.
His enemies, to wolves he'd thrown
His decrees were swift and true.

In his right hand he held power to love
In his left, the power to destroy.
Atop his towering throne above
Iron grip he did employ.

He came from nothing and now had all
And cut down a thousand men.
Saw the rise of brutes and fall
And vowed to rid the world of them.

Atop his regal pedestal of stone
On the backs of nameless men.
Alone atop that white marble bone
A tyrant sat just as back then.

I peer out again
To the courtyard outside my window
Where I face the many neighbors
I never see

I see evidence of life
But never life itself

Sometimes, I wonder.
If I live in a vacant building
Alone amongst spirits
With a sunlit Courtyard
All for me

There is a sadness to the cheater
Whether he be a cheater of love
Or knowledge
Of ideas or simply looks.

Done maliciously,
A cheater can hurt
They can steal
And their conduct
Can sting.

But some cheaters,
Most cheaters,
Are afraid
Afraid of what
They do not have.

Corner cutters
And "good enough" types
Too afraid to give it their all
There is a battle of thought within them,
To take something else when they believe,
They can't meet expectations alone.

Pity the cheaters that act out of fear
Their hearts are made of paper
And their courage is held up with wire
Resorting to steal and lie because
They do not trust themselves.

Hatred is not evil
It is a spawn of evil
Born from it
Caused by it

Like a knife
It is wielded
By some who want peace
And others destruction

Do not hate hate
Grip it tightly
Master it
And let it set the fires

Within your soul

It takes a village to raise a child.
Conversely, it takes a village
To destroy a child.
And that child
Whom the village
Does not embrace
Will burn it down
To feel its warmth

I'm so sorry
That I did not treat you better
And that
I let my anxieties
Ruin the moment

There is something seductive about your words
Your ideas and thoughts
Your confidence
Are more seducing than
Anything you could wear

Your shadow may weigh
the same,
As if you weren't there
At all.

But your actions
Today,
are
paramount.

Have you ever stayed up
Wondering?
If they truly
Love you back?

Why would I run through the gale for you?
When all you do is make me cry?
After all that you have put me through
Sometimes I wonder if you try

Why would I soak myself?
Through the sheets of rain
As you put my heart up on the shelf
You stay dry while I'm damp with pain

There was a time I would run after you
When the harsh winds and showers mattered not
Long ago when your character was true
Before my heart began to rot

Before the mold ate away what was once there
Now sour tastes and bitter tang
Back when we were warm and fair
Now from the rafters my heart does hang

I do not think I would step outside today
While maelstroms crash and strain
I choke on these words but I must say
I would not run after you through that soaking rain.

Puzzle pieces of fumbled assortment
A smell of cardboard chips
Bedlam ensues
When scattered and afraid

But a piece thinks it unselfish
To join hands with another neighbor
A myriad of frightened fragments
Can surely make for a beautiful picture

The night was warm on that beach
As we trudged along that boarded path
Ocean breeze swayed the trees
And for a moment we hung in time

The moon light lit the golden brown beach
As the far off city lights twinkled
Ocean breeze swayed the trees
And for a moment we forgot the time

Ocean water is cool at night across the dunes
The bugs come out but we didn't mind
Ocean breeze swayed the trees
And for a moment our worries subsided

We all jumped in the water, into the salty broth
We laughed and we carried on
Ocean breeze swayed the trees
The moment I cherish but now it is gone

“I cannot breathe” cried the Man.
Whose lungs heaved as he gasped for air
However, this was on no hospital bed
This was on a city square.

A virus did not **** this man
But a pandemic of hate succeeded
An infectious belief that; man isn’t equal
To that, a vaccine is needed

“I cannot breathe” he screamed face down
A crushing weight pressed on his neck
At least Corona is not biased
For skin color, it does not check

We cannot continue to let this spread
The hate and mistrust must end
We let it fester, infect, and ****
And here we end up again.

We must rise above this infectious disease
Of hateful action and racist thought
It starts with you
It starts with me
Look back someday and say you fought.

My Korean grandma told me a story
Of many years ago she lived in the North
A time when her country was changing
A chaotic time when her nation was poor

She remembers seeing the airplanes
With their metal hulls and red white and blue
They left in a formation of 5,

And she cried when they returned only 2.

Sometimes
One can give all that they have
They can sacrifice
And lay everything on the table

But life is cruel

For even when all is given
And the last of ones strength used
As ones bones begin to break
When sweat turns to blood
And one screams with a rage within them
That no force on earth can quell

Even then
That may not be enough.

Some who survive that battle
Who cared too much
For their dreams to drift off
Like sand in the wind
Emerge heartless

A cranky locomotive used to yell
Every time it passed my house
Nobody liked him as he shrieked past
The windows rattled and shook
He woke you up from a peaceful sleep
And worst of all he was unapologetic

He was a locomotive built proudly
And he emulated the confidence
Built in a time of proud and honorable men
A fire burned in that old frame
A hot sweltering fire that always pushed him forward
He was blunt and to the point

One day that locomotive failed to fly by
No hollers or shouts or rattles
It was peaceful without him
But.
It was quiet without him
An unnerving quiet that people admittedly
Missed

If I had known that it would have been the last time
That rambunctious, cantankerous, and proud locomotive
Was tearing through the town
I would have waved
Or smiled more
Or even cried  

A cranky, loud, and obnoxious locomotive
Used to let everyone know what was on his mind
But in the silence when he no longer passed through
Everyone wished they could see him again,
Wanting to know what he had to say

From depths below and tangled threads
Where cobwebs stow the darkest machinations
Caught like droplets from the dew
Poisoned liquid, envelop mends.

Old wounds bite deepest
Where they're cut again
Where mold and mildew inch and spread
Dark bruises form and grow in hues
Green, yellow, red, and blues.

Bleached wounds that hide beneath the skin
Deep below that soft pink shield
And from within they do not yield
Old anger enflames those ancient wounds.

Some are seen like boiled flesh
Of scars that cut too deep years ago
Or of pains that never truly healed
Be cautious and be wary though.

Of stabs and cuts
Invisible to the eye
Be wary of the blights within
Wounds that slice and gnaw each passing day
Untreatable blights without any cures
Cancerous burdens who always stay

Pure heart
Unclouded mind
Within and not apart
Together we'll find

From the ashes we rise
On phoenix wings we soar
Above the twisted, seething lies
Down below, souls we abhor

Purest hearts
And clearest skies
Within not forgot
Above evil, buzzing flies

Together we are salvation
Together, glorious and free
With purest hearts, we are a nation
With unclouded minds we'll always be

I met a man once who had a goal
To be more than he was when he started
With a wildfire and tenacity inside him
Hungry for achievement and success

Like all fires
It spread
And lit that same flame within my soul

Humanity is complex
Like dirt
There is much more going on
Than meets the eye

But a fool will say
That dirt is dirt
Plain and simple
At first glance

There are no plain shades of man
No color is absolute
No blues or reds
No primary shades
But hues

Some hurt to protect themselves
Some lie to survive
Some **** to save their loved ones
Some save to help themselves

Humanity is like dirt
Simple looking
Easily written off
But closely inspected, they are much more

The ruthless may be kind hearted
The loving can be deceitful
The foolish can feign cunning natures
The shy can be malicious

We are who we choose to show
But beneath the guise
And the show they perform
Complexity is woven to make each man

We are like dirt
All part of the grand world
Yet complex beneath the surface
But still low and *****

Like Dirt

Memories tinge the places we've been
Embedded and branded on us.
Once yesterday
Now gone by the way
They were there
But now they are dust.

Though locations they stay
Of warm prior days.
We look back with pulsating lusts
If there was a way
To bring us back to that day
I'm sure we would be on that bus.

The places we've been are places we need
Places of times that were real.
We see this unfold the moment we leave
The moment we yearn for that feel.

I was told I needed to grow up.
It cut me down so easily,
I was struck with awe.
Almost offended.
That someone would tell me
To **** the child within my soul

I asked them what that meant.
And they said to stop acting like a child
When I failed to be serious in a somber setting.
I was neither poking fun, nor hurting anyone.
Just brightening the mood.
But I was shunned for it.
And told to grow up.

So I ask you this you nameless lobcock
Who are you to **** my spirit?
Who are you to dull my imagination?
Will you take me out back and shoot it out of me?
Rip it from my spine?
Who are you to tell me to change my color scheme?

I look around and see people just like you
"Grown up" and so mature
But I don't see children lynching men
Or children stoning others
I don't see children being racist
Only when they are taught so by the "grown ups"

So who are we to ****,
That child in our souls?
Maybe we need more adults with inner children
To discuss sharing and treating others well
I look around and see the grown ups rain destruction
But who am I to tell?

Have you ever felt like the yellow light of a traffic stop?
Where you exist but only because you are neither
A failure or success story?

Please stand up my fellow middle men
Women who are average
Those who are there

I want to know there are others
Caught in the middle of existence
Whose efforts are good but not great

I feel like lukewarm water
Not too cold and not too hot
A drink that neither satisfies nor dissatisfies

Where are all the other middle grounders?
Because I'm feeling all alone these days
Where are all those caught in purgatory?

Between glory and foggy haze.

Behind the one way mirror
Observing the world from a far
Delicately analyzing its every move
He looks out upon the hopeless barren earth

Like caged birds
Whose wings are clipped
And bodies bruised from captivity
We are a snow globe to this watchful monster

Ready to shake us when he so chooses
The Destroyer of Worlds bides
Marveling in the chaos that lives
Even without his touch

When he does arrive
We think we will recognize him
Yet he shall slip right past us
Past us all

Some will cry ****** ******
But we will not listen
We will love him
We will adore him

We will hand him the keys
The wheel that guides it all
Foolishly, we shall bury our own caskets
Choking out any hope for our future

For the Destroyer is deception incarnate
Molded like a man
But with a heart of blackened smoke
And hands of icy thorns

So beautiful
Charming
People will trample to taste his words
Salivating over a mere gaze

And he shall come without warning
On a beautiful day
Not a cloud in the sky
With a smile and outstretched hand

When we are alone
We hear ringing in our ears
Unbound yet shackled in the lonesome
Many hate to be alone
Alone is where the wolves get us
Alone is where nasty thoughts ****** us
Alone we feel a loner’s crushing weight
All alone, nothing scares us

When we are alone
We wander
Sometimes we wander places
Alone in the fog
Alone in the brambles
A thousand thorns pricking you
Alone with trumpets
Alone

When we are alone
We wish for the opposite
But not really
Alone is limbo
Alone is the balance act
Alone is infinity
When we are alone we panic
When alone, we choke

Master the loneliness
Feed on it as it fed on you
Grow to love to be alone
Tame those wolves
Fend off those thoughts
Toss off that weight
Embrace the solitude, breathe

In solitude we are perfect
For though the sun is alone
Still it shines

I looked out toward that metal jungle
A man exhaled cigarette smoke and it rose up fading away
Light glimmered off of windows
The setting sun on an iron casket
I leaned over to pick up an old beer bottle
I threw it away
Yet, still the leaves fell.

Cars dotted across the jungle floor
Red lights, green lights, directing those where to go
A cyclist rung his bell as he swerved around me getting by
It smelt like asphalt in this granite biome
The sun releasing the smell from the highways
At a store I held a rusted door open for a woman and her child
Yet, still the leaves fell.

A puddle survived on the pavement in my parking garage
It was cool here
It shimmered with a rainbow film from car oil
The crunch of loose gravel under my feet echoed in the halls
A man dropped his wallet in here once
I picked it up and returned it to him
Yet, still the leaves fell.

I lived my life doing what was right
I lived my life doing what should be done
Still, the leaves fell.

Walk a mile in my shoes
Feel the pain that I endure
For some it will feel like snowflakes
Caressing their cheeks and soothing their soul
For others it will be hell
A tumultuous storm that rages
Furious flames beneath their feet

Walk a mile in my shoes
Before you spit out your words
Unable to hold down your drink
Sick with anger
Anger directed at smoke
You really know nothing about them
Your anger falls to the floor
And you wait for someone to pick it up

Walk a mile in my shoes
Feel the worn out soles
How loose they bind against your skin
You know nothing of the pebble between my toes
Yet you beckon me to run a marathon with you
Let's run to the sunset
My shoes you wear are too big for you to fill
No blisters form
You are untouched

Walk a mile in my shoes
You wish to hike a mountain
I'm sorry, I cannot follow you there
Like cinder blocks to me
I have my own burdens to bear
Like the car with a flat tire
Or boat with a hole in its hull

Walk a mile in my shoes?
You scoff
You laugh
But my shoes feel tight around my feet
And you'll never know how they feel on me.

It's ok to roll the dice.
Maybe once,
Maybe twice.
Some bad decisions
Will break the vice,
Of always holding back.

Don't be afraid
To take some risks
Cause even though
It's for the worse
An answer in the end is best
For the "What if" question
Always hurts

I wasn't expecting her to show
She arrived as a pleasant surprise
I kept my excitement at a low
My stomach full of butterflies

Only when do we feel confident in ourselves
When we look in the mirror that looks back at us
And both reflections smile

When we let go of the fears that bind us
That wrap us like chains
Permitting us to go only so far

Only when we drop our disguises
The masks we wear to hide our faces
Will we be comfortable with ourselves

And if the world did the same
Where no one hid beneath a mask
We would all be free

We would all be happy

When the lakes have dried and leaves have rot
As we choke upon the air we breathe
In anguished cries, shall we ask "Where have we got?"
"Is this really how man will leave?"

As the waters rise and drown out our screams
When acid falls from clouds above
With swollen fish floating down the streams
At what point will we say enough?

As the animals die from poisoned bile
From the ground in which they fed
We shrug and scoff, "That won't happen for awhile"
Nestled comfortably in our beds

When the world is grey and full of dust
When the last living things are us
From the gutters, disease approaches
As we spread across the world like roaches.

If only there was a way to know
When you were in the good ole days
So you could enjoy them
For all that they were

If only that were true
And we could appreciate those
Warm distant days
When we thought life was timeless

I am often made fun of
As I go about the life I lead
To treat others the way
I wish all would be treated

But I have grown to realize
That reciprocity
Is of seldom importance
To many you meet in life

Half of me says to be cold
To treat others the way
They treat me
But the other half says otherwise

All throughout this internal struggle
As I argue with myself on how to be
By the time I'm done arguing
I realize the moment is gone

I lost my chance altogether
I also never know how to respond
Because I've never had the experience
As I'm always caught in doubt

I've become terrible at relationships
I don't know how to act
I make a fool out of myself often
But please just bear with me

I'm bad at all this relationship stuff
But you help me
You make me realize the treasures
Of relying on another.

Like an insatiable hunger
I desperately want to find my place in the world
Yet, I never know where to look
Looking at a menu of different paths
Too afraid to pick just one entree
Do I want to always be known as the burger guy?
The steak sirloin?
Or do I want shrimp scampi?
I know I can only have one but...
Everything looks so appetizing
So delicious

I never know what to get myself
It's a mix between
What do I want ?
And what do I think I deserve?