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Mr Bigglesworth Jun 2015
When I was a boy and still wasn't sure that there wasn't a God
I attended a nice catholic primary school
It was there we used to sing:

Love is like a magic penny
hold it tight and you won't have any
lend it spend it you'll have so many
they'll roll all over the floor

Now maybe that was the case
But people today have changed
Giving out love like it was free
Maybe love is a magic penny
But due to inflation
Love has lost its value

Love being thrown around carelessly
Love unattended in the centre console of their car
Love slipping out your pocket and down the side of the sofa
Love rolling by on the road and you don't even give it a second glance

For what is love now to those dead of heart but unnecessarily old fashioned?
Mr Bigglesworth May 2015
Dropped toast span hitting floor
Butter on carpet, sod's law
Interesting development: Both sides were unbuttered
Mr Bigglesworth Apr 2015
I'm such a devil, terrible rebel, eleven words on a Thursday!
To hell with the rules devil may care attitude! YOLO
Mr Bigglesworth Apr 2015
Along time ago in the land of the Elves
With the Pixies, Gnomes and Sprites
Lived Millicent Mary, a belly button fairy
Adorned in her tutu and tights

Now poor little Millicent
Super cute and innocent
Hadn't been a fluffer very long
When trusted by superiors
Which that alone's mysterious
Only got the purchase order wrong!

Whilst ordering the belly fluff
She found the maths a little tough
And set upon her path to sheer disgrace
Before she'd ordered every hue
She started with the colour blue
And accidentally missed the decimal place
Needless to say the guild of belly button fluffers hadn't enough budget to amend her error and tonnes of excess blue fluff had to be used up first.
Mr Bigglesworth Mar 2015
Full moons blueish light breaks through the curtains gap illuminating your fake photo smile
I wish I had taken more at times much less contrived, a true smile would be more worthwhile
But I should really count my blessings, for with true class you would never pout
Imagine the horror of gazing upon your beautiful face and only seeing Pete Burns looking out
Mr Bigglesworth Mar 2015
I used to be a broken man, lost and so confused
But over time I think I've changed
and all because of you
Now I wouldn't say I'm still not lost
or wiser than before
But all my bits are back as one and it's you that I adore
Mr Bigglesworth Mar 2015
Only the Irish could appoint a Welsh slave their patron
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