when the urge is too strong
and my head is muddled with thoughts and crazieness
I dive into the toilet
the eye of the storm, the only calm
And after, sing myself to bed
with my raw throat and ****** teeth
and lie in a fitful sleep
choking on waves of guilt and *****

you are a poison. you are my drug.
you fly into the grey matter of my brain
you lodge yourself in my mind, you are stuck

the dull ache of you echoes in the hollows of my ribs.
It's painful. make it stop.
I love it.
I love it too much. It is too much
too colorful
too intense
too needy and too real
I leave my plate untouched, instead I feast on my hunger for you.

you hold me tight, I can't wriggle away
I am weak. You are strong
You are me. I am strong.
weeks past and you erase me.
you gnaw on my bones
feasting on the marrow.
a delicacy.