Barefoot and blue
Waiting for a waterbirds solemn return
Silently guided by a stiff windward call
to closure , my melancholy day in sunlit
exposure , from behind the clouds lie such
explosions , red eyes placed center stage ,
as would be thespians hide elephant red rage
Caramel colored , landlocked baptistry
Soak these tired feet , wash the salt from open
wounds , diluting memory and public affairs
Carry them to the bottom* ...

She's a smile
A warm June rain
A raspberry tea during a firefly show
A child's creative finger on a frosted window
The wonder of the first snow
The oak fire , the crackle and the glow* ...

In the time before the distance
there was a woman I dearly loved

Her eyes they
shined while we
stood in a moonlit alcove
making love

She told me of the
bad places she had
come from once before

She said you'll
find my nightmares
will scream from  
the dark to the dawn

She told me
not one could ever hold her
she needed to be free

She said guilt
is what you
give yourself for
doing exactly what you please

I thought about my wife
I thought about my children
I thought about my past
I thought about my future

She said
which misery do you prefer

she said
come on upstairs
I'll meet you there

We were stuck on the street
neither of us
had the key

I looked at her
She looked at me
Neither of us knew
what to believe

She wound up
with the other guy
moved me along so smoothly
I didn't even know how she did it

I ended up
stuck in Reno
in the crummy apartment
by the river
trout fishing every afternoon
my children on the phone

She sang me a nightmare
song
She showed me exactly where I  belonged

If you are out on
the avenue and you
see her there
tell her
after all these years
I probably still
care
At least when the moon and mood
are blue
and I'm thinking about
my past and future too
thinking about my fate
in the time before the distance.

All too familiar...
I have been here not too long ago.

I had dug my heels deep...
I had tasted the moist that hung stale.
Dreaded every next step,
knowing then as I know now...
That again I would fail.

This road well travelled...
Will draw much more,
if not the same.
But I own this endless stretch,
I'll embrace it with discomfort...
For here is the grave that bears my name.

solitude of art
long nights in the studio
paint my only friend