A lover asked his beloved,
Do you love yourself more
than you love me?



The beloved replied,
I have died to myself
and I live for you.



I’ve disappeared from myself
and my attributes.
I am present only for you.



I have forgotten all my learning,
but from knowing you
I have become a scholar.



I have lost all my strength,
but from your power
I am able.



If I love myself
I love you.
If I love you
I love myself.

Music notes float softly one by one from the ceiling while I lay in bed dancing between universes.
Thoughts of sadness, thoughts of madness, creep up my spine like the knives of Brutus,
while joyous dreams and hopeful themes flow through my blood like angels unraveling blackened seams...

So in this state I lay in patience while the music rains softly down and emotion trickles all around but I'm not scared for somewhere in the shadows you are there...

there's a reason why our magnetic fields have become so distant
it wasn't because the trigger was pressed too hard against my soft
temple, it was written in the stars that change is the only constant
and hope is only for beginners and i've been dipped too far into
the creasefolds of your fragile complexity of the book you're busy
writing, and i know you want to rip me out of those pages, i am
the aftermath of a broken shield that i didn't know was ripe enough
for others to dig into, but i can never get you completely out of my system,
like a hidden computer virus that i never really meant to obtain, it just
all started almost like a big bang, with a shotgun mouth and these weak
limbs that pulls it's own weight, i didn't mean to push my luck so far

there is always somebody or something
waiting for you,
something stronger, more intelligent,
more evil, more kind, more durable,
something bigger, something better,
something worse, something with
eyes like the tiger, jaws like the shark,
something crazier than crazy,
saner than sane,
there is always something or somebody
waiting for you
as you put on your shoes
or as you sleep
or as you empty a garbage can
or pet your cat
or brush your teeth
or celebrate a holiday
there is always somebody or something
waiting for you.

keep this fully in mind
so that when it happens
you will be as ready as possible.

meanwhile, a good day to
you
if you are still there.
I think that I am---
I just burnt my fingers on
this
cigarette.

And my mother tight lipped smile
My fathers "I don't even want to know"
Makes it obvious Im the black sheep.
My sister is an ivy league college girl
And my brother is so smart and the favorite,
But I'm the one who has fallen in love
And has taken the price for it twice.
I see the disappointment in their eyes
Feel them shadow me away
As if me dating another girl
Is the worst thing possible.
Once I can leave this godforsaken house
I will be free
To love her freely.

some songs are unbearable to hear
they remind me of you
when you loved me
the previous year

some movies are hard to watch
they remind of the romance
we once used to have

some poems are hard to read
they remind me
of the one
i used to call mine
the one
who ultimately
left me to grieve
the loss of us

the few things that used to bring me happiness
they now seem to bring me pain
all i do is cry tears
again and again

people say your name
and it's like a bullet
through my brain

people call you my 'lover'
and it makes me want
to dig myself a grave
6ft under

it hurts thinking of you
it hurts dreaming of you
it kills me thinking of you
loving someone else
because that girl
or that guy
has no idea
just how blessed
their heart is
to be loved
by the one
i love the most
the one
who left me
hanging on
like a ghost
too afraid
to enter
the afterlife
because of the one
they didn't want to leave behind