Dearest you,
It's hard to put into words
The feelings I get
They make my stomach turn
Sometimes good, sometimes bad
At the end of the day
You're the best I'll ever have
We talk about forever
We both think
We'll end up leaving each other
But let's not get ahead of ourselves
Let's live for this moment
However,
When we think about our long lives ahead
There's only one image that comes to mind
Only one way in which we'll spend our time
Only one we can imagine marrying
Only one we can imagine loving
And that's us
You're my best friend
That'll never change
From here, we'll only grow
And we will continue to exchange
Love
Kisses
Laughs
Smiles
We have it all
Every day, I continue to fall
Thank you for being you
My dearest
I love you
That is all

Take my hand
and kiss my lips
so we can
turn into crazy poets
that fall in love with everything

turn into a poet with me
so we can swim on the honey
that drips from the moon

Oh turn into a poet with me
so you can understand
why i can't put your beauty into words

oh....

I want you to explore me
And find my untold scars
My beauty marks,
My cuts and bruises

I want you to explore me
And find my secret sadness
Lurking in my eyes,
Under my broken smile

I want you to explore me
And find my hidden secrets,
My sadistic thoughts
That I haven't told a soul

*I want you to explore me

I sit around wanting you all day
Even when I'm sitting next to you
I feel like it's not enough
I want my hands on you
I want to be kissing you
All the time
But I ruin us
Why do I always feel so uneasy?
Why do I let my mind get the best of me?
I overthink every second of every day
And it destroys me
Along with everything around me
I dig my relationships
Into the ground
With all of my thoughts
They don't hold any truth
Yet I still find myself believing them
Why can't I just accept reality as it is
Accept that someone loves me
Accept that someone wants me
Accept myself as I am
But I cannot
I am full of self loathing
And I fear it'll never go away
I've come to terms with the fact
That alone I'll always stay

Before the exams started,
all I wanted to do was play.
Now,
after the exams,
all I want to do is study.
The guilt of not studying harder
gnaws at my stomach.
I try to ignore it,
I can't.
Why am I regretting now,
when I could have studied earlier.

You think it's so easy to forgive you?
You tore me apart,
fragment by fragment.
You watched me burn.
You mocked me.
Why should I forgive you?
You are so full of yourself,
you can't see what's happening around you,
you choose to ignore it.
Now you dare smile at me,
bat those fake eyelashes of yours
and ask me,
'Why do you look so sad?''
I felt like screaming at you,
like telling you that you are the cause of everything.
I didn't.
I just smiled sadly before walking away.