Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Jul 2013 Mockingbird
Miriam
i look out windows a lot
and read books than go out
and i think people are crazy
but i also think they're alright

is it weird that i've got friends i can count with one hand
but i've got fears that go past numbers i'm too lazy to pronounce?

here goes,
me trying to put my thoughts
into words

i have to be sly and slick and kind of quick,
because my thoughts tumble over one another
and get jammed somewhere in the middle of my brain
and disappear without a warning,

so i try to capture them at night
when they run by the multitudes
and are more prominent in my head

sometimes i catch a lot of bad ones
and sometimes it makes me want to hate myself
but i catch good ones too,
and that balances it out for a while, i guess

maybe i should get up and take a walk to breathe in fresh air

or maybe you should come here,
and i could breathe you in instead

i think that would be much better for my head.
i don't sleep anymore.
 Jul 2013 Mockingbird
a m a n d a
i thought i had a clue,
but i did not.

i did not see
the sinister vines
of reality
creeping up my legs
curling around my waist
tendrils whispering
through my neurons.

i had no idea
that humans
could be
wolves.
awful circling beasts
bearing teeth
and claws
hungry
for
blood.

these humans
blind you with
their trickery and lies
so you do not see
the blood
on their hands.

i was a woman
turned  big eyed doe
being stalked by her predator
confused
afraid
in hiding

while the hunt played out
the woman
continued to
love.
this turned
out to be
a sad state
of affairs.
the woman
and the doe
became one…
blind…trusting…loving

when massive jaws
crushed bones
and stopped life
both woman and deer
died.

the wolf lives.
the wolf thrives.
the wolf sacks rome.

from the ashes and the bones of
the woman and deer
was born a mythical bird
turned not so mythical.

she soars
she observes
she remembers
she contemplates
she does not understand

but she must continue  forward
on beautiful wings
    someday she will love
another who soars
another who loves

not a mangy dog
that crushes the bones
bleeds the throat
of the woman
who loved him.
 Jul 2013 Mockingbird
Miriam
it scares me how hungry my heart is
how it needs and feels so much
i'm scared of how it rages on
suddenly and relentlessly
and most of the time i don't know how to calm it,
i don't know the right words to say to remind it that what it wants isn't necessarily the right thing

how it just breaks
it breaks so much, i think it breaks everyday, and it breaks for the littlest of things
the things that shouldn't matter
but my heart swims in pain anyway

i'm scared of how much it can feel,
doubling the intensity of everything
both a curse, and a blessing

joy and pain are real
and they can both hurt and feel good
at the same time

I know this because i know you
and you make me feel them all the time

i'm scared of my own heart because i know what it wants

you

it beats your name like a morse code
day in and day out,
and that's all it ever does ever since you've been gone

i'm scared of my heart,
of how much it loves something that's gone
i'm scared of how much it loves you.
And I’m scared because I don’t want depression to win.
I don’t want it to be the end of my story.
Hope shatters at my fingertips at the thought of no way out.
One impulsive decision that is irreversible

And I’m scared because your story is much like mine.
Parallel almost.
Although you are gone, I will keep fighting.
In the moments where no hope is left-I will remain still until it passes,
because purpose flows through my veins solely from the one who gave me life.
Next page