we got married under wreaths of roses
wilted and wrapped in white lace
spinning in the dark
no gravity to pull us down
no force to slow us
no air end the roll

wed in false names
signed in ****** blood
sealed in false vows
caught in a trance

we lived so happily
for years on end
in a beautiful white house
with beautiful white walls
and bleached grass in the yard
and bones in the garden

the sun's in the sky but
someone sealed the moon
in the floorboards

I got a glimpse of what I'm going to be
Last winter, a year ago
When I trekked New York City and bought
A pair of suede shoes and cursed
That statue of Abraham Lincoln in the
District of Columbia

I'm only getting answers now;
The questions are up to me
And there's a whole lot of freedom
When the Devil comes begging for mercy and
The world bows to do your bidding because there
Is nothing more powerful than a person
Who knows their mettle

Set the scene and
I'm so worn down,
Drinking little lies
So I can get by before
The rain hits

I'm sorry I hurt your
Feelings

I'm overheating and
There's no easy escape

Oh, claim -
Claim my heart and my hands
Break them again
Take them again

Leave me gasping in the rain
again
I love you (x2)

I'll take lightning over rain
Fire over pain
Any day, any day now

I'm pleading
begging to the skies;
render your cloudy splendor,
let me close my eyes

Oh, claim my heart
and my hands
Break them again
Make them again

Leave me singing to the sun,
I love you

--

They say we're gone again
Gone again

I think I'm lost again
Lost again

Washed up on foreign shores,
your eyes the moon
sweet skies the boon

They say we're gone again
Gone again

I tell them to keep their
lies and choke again
Choke again

--

Because I plead you -
Claim my heart
Claim my hands;
Take them again
Kiss them again

I love you

i'm wishing you well
and i want to tuck you in
but that honor remains
to your own hands

filthy ******* disgrace

You're quiet when we're near;
beautiful and inquisitive is
what I see in your eyes

I've met people who'd rather not be
figured by how they appear

I know you're wearing a mask and
I'm so scared that we might speak
in the wrong way, I'm so eager to
impress you

How do I make this fun again?

nothing quite like forty days of rain to give the mind some time to think
or a million years of blistering heat to boil us down to our bones,
so we may see who we are below the nonsense

below the buffers we've built, the feelings we've buried -

are we pure, deep down?
how will we know?
how will we find our inborn truths and
the quirks that make us who we are?

the skies are our saviors
and in their sheen we find eyes
watching our every shift and step
and in their star-spotted skin are
the memories of the ancestors we left behind

for when the light goes out and when
the heat leaves our bones we will
know this is the beginning of the end

i am not hidden
covered in newspapers
draped head to toe in red
head veiled like a fugitive

you are not hidden
you are blue, white-tipped
like a mountain in the snow
surrounded by a vast sea
with hands that can break crowds
but don't bother doing so
with a gaze that fells clouds
but it isn't worth the time

you're all alone
but for a million waves
and a thousand stones
and me

How sacred is a mystery?
Longer kept in its own veil
Than a human lifetime or the
Breath of a bachelor

Clutched to my chest like a
Dying heartbeat, this mystery
Is one I never wish to release

Blame it on the wine and on
the roses

This is the city of angels

Blame it on the killers and on
the embezzlers

This is where they come to
rest, so let them rest

This is where they come to
die, so let them live

Sup on wet flesh and sip on
sweet blood

Grip green cash and step on
the graves of the forerunners

They built this land and these
angels are not yours

Sinners, unite.

Why blame it on the virtues?

You could say I ruined everything if
Everything wasn't ruined already

We're so quick to blame but have
You taken a moment to make peace
With your shortcomings like I have?

Acknowledging mediocrity in and of itself
Is transforming it into something more, since
An effort at least is never worth nothing

Yes, I truly resent you, but I don't resent myself
And I wish you the best in seeking the means to
Enable yourself to say the same

Until then, rest peacefully

I've read a love story
A billion times in my life
Every page the same
Every dustjacket adorned with the same
Cover design of two sultry lovers wrapped
In each others' arms, lips pressed together in
A kiss

He was a man and
She was a woman;
They were destined to
Be together

Your story is nothing unique
Nothing different
Your words are the same as those
Scrounged together decade after decade
Centuries cascading to produce the same
Love story under a thousand names

It's your straight romance
Your promise that everything will be okay and
That you might have kids one day
And a nice house without fear of
Being killed for your identity
And out of my hatred for you is
A deep envy and a desire to have
What you were born with

You do not have to fight for
What I have earned

like a river rushing crushing stones beneath our feet
we will burst from the soil green vines tangling
leaves spreading petals drinking in the light of our
mother the sun above she watches over us primal
raw loving our tribe will never die

we will never die

we are buried but we are seeds of flame of locked
potential and our oppressors are the key

we will open at their command and we will
consume them

When I was younger I knew wonder;
And now I can't see where it all went

I've been praying for a hunter
To bring me adulthood's head

It's a beast I knew was coming but I
Never thought it's real
And now I'm nearly overtaken and
I'm fearful I can't heal

I need far more than a rescue;
To escape this war at least
But I might just have the courage
To face this colossal beast

I don't where this blood came from
That's leaking from my hand
'Cause my blood's red and
This liquid is whiter than Greenland

I've won this fight for now,
I've been taken up in arms
But all I can consider now is
How to avoid harm

No matter how far I am
how built-in my ego has to be
how much of myself I've
surrendered

I will always let my guard down
and assume I'm unique, assume
that I matter

I'm only worth anything to myself and
life is better, safer, when I keep that in
mind because I'm not special

Do you have any idea
How much I love your
Purple sunsets and your
Old baby blue guitar?

The way you play for me
On the beach late Wednesday
Night before the cops bust us
For breaking curfew

Bury my feet in the sand and
Hold my head down beneath the
Waves like you hate my guts
But I know you love me

Only you will sing to me when the clock
Strikes midnight or pour out your
Heart to a stranger

I love nothing more than sensationalized
Love stories, since I must admit that I'm
Only really romancing the idea of you
Since I think you're missing in action

And that's okay

It hit hard like a punch to the gut,
People writhed all around me,
Staring at the sky and the ground
And anything but
Him

Seated beside me, eyes empty
As his life was recited for the world
To hear; it was like the Earth opened
Up and swallowed us whole

The courage you weathered is
Unimaginable; you're not a
Healer but a judge

We were never good at talking things out,
tongues like switchblades

Never good at figuring ourselves out,
wills carved in evergreens

Your wide eyes never knew me
and your hands never touched my skin,
I know it needs to be this way so I
can get out of your mind

smoke to ward your feelings away
and i don't have the strength
to call you a coward
i just wish you wouldn't bake

i'm dying to tell you
that one of these days
i've got to go and take
some time with the
wind and stars above
because you're way too much

i'm sorry your heart pulls
too hard and your body can't catch up
i've got a similar problem but
i'm happier with the pain
i wish i could be numb
like you

i wish i didn't burn
like you

three's a crowd when
it's you and them and
i would be intruding

but not when it's you
and i and it would be
rude to leave her out

Bring her to the forge of the gods
With the guidance of your mother,
You can lead this Beholder to
Truth

Open up the gates to the
Wardens of Vanos and break that
Sacred promise that you've held to
Your breast for centuries, trust that
Now is the time to break it

triangle twenty
trips around the sun
chances to breathe
to start anew
remember my mistakes

when you set up in
the weeds i'll
ride the sun to
the nighttime and
say hello to my
most beautiful secrets
and introduce the ones
you'll never forget

when i'm feeling blue
i'll play in the puddles
in the road and
take my time in
the rainfall until it's
time to head to bed again

the sun will catch us off guard
burning away the temporary
cold, offering up a new
chance at being brave
in the face of that which
we don't recognize
and may never know

and then we'll leap
through triangle twenty
and ride the waves into
infinite truth and hope
everything turns out okay

Voice higher than the clouds
The stars
It begins to shake and I send you
My silent support

I'm a fan
Is the best way to say it
But in reality,
I'm too afraid of this
Social dilemma

You're beautiful but
I'll keep my distance

We've played a game;
Tracking words and
Dropping wineglasses on
The heads of dead men
From twelve storeys
Up

I can watch your brain
Scintillate for hours when
You think there's a veil
Hiding it all but I think
You want me to see,
Secretly

It was easier when instead
Of thoughts we only had
Glass and bishops to ****
But with time comes
Complications

I love you and your voice and
Your music and I wish you'd
Embrace your talent and your
Skill with change

If I could cut through the miles I
Would, if I could find a way to
Help us both I would, if I could
Find a way to get you here I would

I'm building a garden and a haven and
I want to emulate the beauty I felt last
Spring, a year ago, pulling off that
Woodsy Bohemian Highway

We're so similar I'm scared to speak,
I was living a mistake, killing myself
By the fireside, and all the while I was
Petrified, cradled in the arms of a murderer

I've found a light since then and I'm
Hoping we can speak again

///

I don't know what's wrong with me,
What does God want from me?
So I can be perfect and funny once
Again, youth restored, safe so my
Heart isn't bored

Drenched in despair,
I've already been replaced -
I watched it happen, day by day,
And I can't help but hate
That which is better than I am

I need an escape and a place
I can run to because this town
Isn't my home anymore;
These aren't my friends anymore

///

It was the same yesterday
And today and tomorrow
And I'm praying for a change
But abandonment is the solution
I don't want to accept

By the end of the day and the sun is
High I find myself forgotten by
Those whom I love and I begin to
Feel that heat in my chest

I run home like a child pushed to breaking,
Hands tense and clutching denim,
Breaths forced because breathing is hard

Praying for change, denying what I
Know is true, I need to
Escape these echoes

I met you in a cloud down by the quarry
And we were there to watch it when
God cursed the crows with their raucous
Voices because they told too many of His secrets
When he wasn't listening

Looking into your eyes I see a deep
History of ups and downs and
Promise and venom and I need you to
Hold on

Hey,
It's not that bad

You know that
You feel that
You see that
You're rounding out now and
Growing comfortable in this world
We've built up just
For you

Listen though, little fighter --
It's a tough place to survive but
I know you have
What it takes

outstanding odds know no bounds -
they dance and uproot the trees in
my mind, they tear up my boots as
i pass by

losing skin and muscle until i am
merely bone they sing and scream
to me, making beautiful songs from
the lyrics in my head

I'm writing this on my phone and by now
I'm hoping you can pick up on my mythos
Like how my number is my name
And how skies and geometry are closely intertwined

I love and
I live
And that is my resolution
For this year and every
One that comes after it

There's no summer
without running into
lovers under the sun

Under the hot hot air,
you're beautiful beyond
simple conversation so
I'm sorry, but all I can
offer is a nod

Briefly caught in the crossfire,
Cut in half by speeding bottles,
Torn apart by the words of drunk monsters,
I've weathered a lot

Nothing will come close to this
Confusion, this terror wrecking my
Fragile bones, a heart that cannot
Comprehend the horrors you've wrought
And I know that you are just as fearful

You said it to my face and it took me
Months to catch on and now it's worse
Than ever - quickly made worse than it ever was

Never really felt awful about
The way I slip in my rhetoric
And sink the world into these
Bogs of everlasting rot

It was my curse to inspire anger
But now in my path is
Sown sadness and though I will
It not, that's the way curses are

I never write down my poems and
They always rhyme,
Cast in dead images and
Forged by the lips of an angel

It's all I could hope for to make
It to the bottom

doubtful of my worth
days pass and i say nothing
the people on the street
they hear nothing

we've silenced ourselves
so many years but
nothing's changed

too desperate to brand ourselves,
too frantic to hide from the fear
too quick to shroud ourselves in shame

you say "god loves you"
like a threat but you are
ignorant to the fact that he
made me this way

he loves me as i am
and pray he helps me
love you the same way

I've got a fuse when it comes to
Simplistic affection

It makes me feel small again and I
Don't like to make sacrifices

Three-syllable words

the act of being alone
the act of being a lone
person
without
others
nearby

the act of being depressed
d e p r e s s e d
it's crawling and then running and
then my skull is split on paper and
the blood is ink and people
are dipping their quills in it
as if my body is not there
and there is not a casket big enough
to hold everything i have touched
and created and not a scroll long enough
to encompass all that i have destroyed

Three-syllable words

some things can't be fixed

i promised that when
the sun hit i'd be happier
but now my mind is clear
and i'm back to my senses

don't think i want to do
this anymore

the sun rose today and my
heart said we're going to the
river, going for a ride
and my mind said that sounds fine

i'd like to learn to live
slow again

i don't know where to begin
and you'd then say, sarcastically -
at the beginning

time is a lie but
emotions are not

defining
memories
shaping me gradually
i am a sculpture
made of stone

often i feel brittle but i
know i am strong

in four years i have
grown tremendously
become better
happier
bolder

not perfect but getting there

in the summer heat i will
grow again
turn into my better self
welcome a future full of
hope

thank you for nine months
four times
of self-inflicted horror
and i am sorry i have
not fully appreciated the gifts
you have given me

these warmer months will give
me time to ruminate

i let you know
repeatedly
i don't want this hour to end
as the minutes pass us by
the clock's hands slide away
wordspushedtogether
buying time until

i realize

this can last forever
if we want it to
and i do

Minutes since I last knocked on your door
And I can't tell why I cling to people who
Make me feel like I'm sick

In this inferno do we spill our passion
And when lightning flashes dark
We will remain silent

Biting my knuckles
I want you to play
That music louder
Please

Muffled French voices
On the radio --
It's all I want to hear

Tears down my face
Catching on my shirt
Hide it with that
Happy beat

What're you on about?
This time I swear it's
Nonsense
I swear that
Nothing's wrong

i can't do this alone

You arrived like snowfall,
Silent and white

You left like a storm,
In anger and spite

Your voice carries on the wind
And I wish you well in the
Ruin you sowed back home

You're a house in black,
Lit by a dying sun

You're a song written by
A woman long dead

*******

approval or disapproval
whispered yet louder
than an ocean in my ears

i realize i've shut my eyes
lips brush skin
pupils as the night sky
hands are lazy but
keen

silver hair
parted mouth
captivating

Eyes like headlights over every rise of the road

You were a sound I'd never heard before;
loud where others stayed quiet

Now I'm remembering what I fell for, why
I let you crawl inside my heart, and who I
left buried beneath my skin

This isn't you. I wish it was.

I've lost my sense of direction
I am floating without correction

Drifting toward the nearest sun
And
My starving feet begin to run

Breath hitches in my throat
Blocking thieves as if a moat
...
Protected you from me and you again
Of you there is no lack again

The sun begins to burn me up
Then
My skull is but a gilded cup

I feel you drink the richest wine
I sigh when I know that you are mine
Is that where we draw the line..?

I float without direction
No sensible correction

I listen for the my beating heart
Before I recall that you stole it

how you still think of me
is beyond the moon
and all the sky's stars
but i am thankful

sitting at dinner and feeling
the warmth on my face and
seeing the love in your eyes
makes me yearn for this week
to end so we can be free again

Love runs thick
Down my face like
Tears after a long day of
Cold weather and kisses

Paint me red with
Winter sunsets and
Crushed rose petals
Like old perfume

this is the worst time
folded into something better
and suddenly i'm the world
shaking from within
warmth climbing to the surface
boiling my oceans
waving to the stars
i blink to feel alone
and look up to be reminded
i am not

brought to the ground by you
by you, who is soaring
who is crashing
into black ocean waves
blind and in pain
i am here to comfort you
this is unfamiliar
i want to thank you
but i need to help you,
first

Endlessly entangled in bloodred twine
Torn from the hearts of dead lovers
I need a means of escape
From this magic pair

I can feel it in my chest
A dig site in flesh and soul
Spades cutting bone, I know
Your promises never last

I hope it's a phase
Because I can't hold my own
Hand through this mess when I'm
Busy sweeping aside the rubble

I'm an alien in my own head,
Feelings unknown and emotions
I don't know the words for

Maybe I won't ever find a way
Out because it bounces back each
Week, kicks me while I'm down,
Watches me bleed from my lips

Don't destroy our safe haven
Because it ****** you up a bit