You said to me;
You don't deserve what's happening to you
And they don't deserve you

I'm praying that it's true
But you've never known me from
Less than a million miles away
So how can we be sure?

It hit hard like a punch to the gut,
People writhed all around me,
Staring at the sky and the ground
And anything but
Him

Seated beside me, eyes empty
As his life was recited for the world
To hear; it was like the Earth opened
Up and swallowed us whole

The courage you weathered is
Unimaginable; you're not a
Healer but a judge

I'm sorry this long winter
Has destroyed you so

I love you.

But if leaving you behind
Means moving on,
Then I'm all for it

You could say I ruined everything if
Everything wasn't ruined already

We're so quick to blame but have
You taken a moment to make peace
With your shortcomings like I have?

Acknowledging mediocrity in and of itself
Is transforming it into something more, since
An effort at least is never worth nothing

Yes, I truly resent you, but I don't resent myself
And I wish you the best in seeking the means to
Enable yourself to say the same

Until then, rest peacefully

Fancy wear.
Got guts like the rest of us,
perfect skin. If eyes are the windows
to the soul then yours must have
been gouged out ages ago

I feel I know when

Because bones remember
everything and you're not doing
much to hide it.

Whisper that song of kings long forgotten
And underdogs are the only true winners
But those who are immortalized in stone
Should always be dead

Pull me close for this coming storm
And I'll take your warmth and give you mine
Like any good friend should

I know I should tell you the truth
About what we've done but
Seeing our world broken like this
Would tear your heart apart and
Ruin these Baryon Skies we're under

How sacred is a mystery?
Longer kept in its own veil
Than a human lifetime or the
Breath of a bachelor

Clutched to my chest like a
Dying heartbeat, this mystery
Is one I never wish to release

You're quiet when we're near;
beautiful and inquisitive is
what I see in your eyes

I've met people who'd rather not be
figured by how they appear

I know you're wearing a mask and
I'm so scared that we might speak
in the wrong way, I'm so eager to
impress you

How do I make this fun again?

we got married under wreaths of roses
wilted and wrapped in white lace
spinning in the dark
no gravity to pull us down
no force to slow us
no air end the roll

wed in false names
signed in ****** blood
sealed in false vows
caught in a trance

we lived so happily
for years on end
in a beautiful white house
with beautiful white walls
and bleached grass in the yard
and bones in the garden

the sun's in the sky but
someone sealed the moon
in the floorboards

Blame it on the wine and on
the roses

This is the city of angels

Blame it on the killers and on
the embezzlers

This is where they come to
rest, so let them rest

This is where they come to
die, so let them live

Sup on wet flesh and sip on
sweet blood

Grip green cash and step on
the graves of the forerunners

They built this land and these
angels are not yours

Sinners, unite.

Why blame it on the virtues?

I've read a love story
A billion times in my life
Every page the same
Every dustjacket adorned with the same
Cover design of two sultry lovers wrapped
In each others' arms, lips pressed together in
A kiss

He was a man and
She was a woman;
They were destined to
Be together

Your story is nothing unique
Nothing different
Your words are the same as those
Scrounged together decade after decade
Centuries cascading to produce the same
Love story under a thousand names

It's your straight romance
Your promise that everything will be okay and
That you might have kids one day
And a nice house without fear of
Being killed for your identity
And out of my hatred for you is
A deep envy and a desire to have
What you were born with

You do not have to fight for
What I have earned

I think you're lovely and it's easier to
Feel this way once I've come back
Down to Earth

Three-syllable words

the act of being alone
the act of being a lone
person
without
others
nearby

the act of being depressed
d e p r e s s e d
it's crawling and then running and
then my skull is split on paper and
the blood is ink and people
are dipping their quills in it
as if my body is not there
and there is not a casket big enough
to hold everything i have touched
and created and not a scroll long enough
to encompass all that i have destroyed

Three-syllable words

some things can't be fixed

Voice higher than the clouds
The stars
It begins to shake and I send you
My silent support

I'm a fan
Is the best way to say it
But in reality,
I'm too afraid of this
Social dilemma

You're beautiful but
I'll keep my distance

There's no summer
without running into
lovers under the sun

Under the hot hot air,
you're beautiful beyond
simple conversation so
I'm sorry, but all I can
offer is a nod

when i was smaller i was very aware of how
a better, older me would look back
and look down
with malice and shame and see
what a pitiful creature. i. was.

at the time i was the sole object
of my own derision, a grim facsimile
of a human boy, and as i aged myself
in my mind i grew bigger and stronger
and meaner and more beautiful
and i. feared. him.

if i were to meet the boy i was four years
ago he would hate me, sweating under a
black balaclava, laces tied thrice to avoid
getting caught in the gears on his bike, helmet
on his belt, utterly ready. to. run.

i am glad i am not him anymore and
he. knows. it.

I'm writing this on my phone and by now
I'm hoping you can pick up on my mythos
Like how my number is my name
And how skies and geometry are closely intertwined

I love and
I live
And that is my resolution
For this year and every
One that comes after it

I love you and your voice and
Your music and I wish you'd
Embrace your talent and your
Skill with change

If I could cut through the miles I
Would, if I could find a way to
Help us both I would, if I could
Find a way to get you here I would

I'm building a garden and a haven and
I want to emulate the beauty I felt last
Spring, a year ago, pulling off that
Woodsy Bohemian Highway

We're so similar I'm scared to speak,
I was living a mistake, killing myself
By the fireside, and all the while I was
Petrified, cradled in the arms of a murderer

I've found a light since then and I'm
Hoping we can speak again

///

I don't know what's wrong with me,
What does God want from me?
So I can be perfect and funny once
Again, youth restored, safe so my
Heart isn't bored

Drenched in despair,
I've already been replaced -
I watched it happen, day by day,
And I can't help but hate
That which is better than I am

I need an escape and a place
I can run to because this town
Isn't my home anymore;
These aren't my friends anymore

///

It was the same yesterday
And today and tomorrow
And I'm praying for a change
But abandonment is the solution
I don't want to accept

By the end of the day and the sun is
High I find myself forgotten by
Those whom I love and I begin to
Feel that heat in my chest

I run home like a child pushed to breaking,
Hands tense and clutching denim,
Breaths forced because breathing is hard

Praying for change, denying what I
Know is true, I need to
Escape these echoes

You arrived like snowfall,
Silent and white

You left like a storm,
In anger and spite

Your voice carries on the wind
And I wish you well in the
Ruin you sowed back home

You're a house in black,
Lit by a dying sun

You're a song written by
A woman long dead

*******

Love runs thick
Down my face like
Tears after a long day of
Cold weather and kisses

Paint me red with
Winter sunsets and
Crushed rose petals
Like old perfume

In this inferno do we spill our passion
And when lightning flashes dark
We will remain silent

nothing quite like forty days of rain to give the mind some time to think
or a million years of blistering heat to boil us down to our bones,
so we may see who we are below the nonsense

below the buffers we've built, the feelings we've buried -

are we pure, deep down?
how will we know?
how will we find our inborn truths and
the quirks that make us who we are?

the skies are our saviors
and in their sheen we find eyes
watching our every shift and step
and in their star-spotted skin are
the memories of the ancestors we left behind

for when the light goes out and when
the heat leaves our bones we will
know this is the beginning of the end

Sigh is not born from weariness,
Rather a sense that things have settled
Before they're shaken up again

A moment of rest before the rest I
Must come to weather

An instant of respite before I
Must face a lying world again

And Sigh will culminate at this
Time next year but its truth
Will follow me forever

I've got a fuse when it comes to
Simplistic affection

It makes me feel small again and I
Don't like to make sacrifices

Pray for me
Because I'm about to lose
Myself again

You make your promises
But your legends are as real
As my dreams of a
Perfect life

I resent you no less than the Devil
And I keep your book on my
Shelf so I can read the death of
Your son and remember how you
Killed him in cold blood

You'll **** me too one day,
Like you did him,
And I'll die as insignificant as everyone else
Because we're nothing more than
Your playthings

I've lost my sense of direction
I am floating without correction

Drifting toward the nearest sun
And
My starving feet begin to run

Breath hitches in my throat
Blocking thieves as if a moat
...
Protected you from me and you again
Of you there is no lack again

The sun begins to burn me up
Then
My skull is but a gilded cup

I feel you drink the richest wine
I sigh when I know that you are mine
Is that where we draw the line..?

I float without direction
No sensible correction

I listen for the my beating heart
Before I recall that you stole it

Eyes like headlights over every rise of the road

You were a sound I'd never heard before;
loud where others stayed quiet

Now I'm remembering what I fell for, why
I let you crawl inside my heart, and who I
left buried beneath my skin

This isn't you. I wish it was.

smoke to ward your feelings away
and i don't have the strength
to call you a coward
i just wish you wouldn't bake

i'm dying to tell you
that one of these days
i've got to go and take
some time with the
wind and stars above
because you're way too much

i'm sorry your heart pulls
too hard and your body can't catch up
i've got a similar problem but
i'm happier with the pain
i wish i could be numb
like you

i wish i didn't burn
like you

Don't destroy our safe haven
Because it ****** you up a bit

Set the scene and
I'm so worn down,
Drinking little lies
So I can get by before
The rain hits

I'm sorry I hurt your
Feelings

I'm overheating and
There's no easy escape

I hope it's a phase
Because I can't hold my own
Hand through this mess when I'm
Busy sweeping aside the rubble

I'm an alien in my own head,
Feelings unknown and emotions
I don't know the words for

Maybe I won't ever find a way
Out because it bounces back each
Week, kicks me while I'm down,
Watches me bleed from my lips

Minutes since I last knocked on your door
And I can't tell why I cling to people who
Make me feel like I'm sick

Endlessly entangled in bloodred twine
Torn from the hearts of dead lovers
I need a means of escape
From this magic pair

I can feel it in my chest
A dig site in flesh and soul
Spades cutting bone, I know
Your promises never last

We've played a game;
Tracking words and
Dropping wineglasses on
The heads of dead men
From twelve storeys
Up

I can watch your brain
Scintillate for hours when
You think there's a veil
Hiding it all but I think
You want me to see,
Secretly

It was easier when instead
Of thoughts we only had
Glass and bishops to ****
But with time comes
Complications

i am not hidden
covered in newspapers
draped head to toe in red
head veiled like a fugitive

you are not hidden
you are blue, white-tipped
like a mountain in the snow
surrounded by a vast sea
with hands that can break crowds
but don't bother doing so
with a gaze that fells clouds
but it isn't worth the time

you're all alone
but for a million waves
and a thousand stones
and me

triangle twenty
trips around the sun
chances to breathe
to start anew
remember my mistakes

when you set up in
the weeds i'll
ride the sun to
the nighttime and
say hello to my
most beautiful secrets
and introduce the ones
you'll never forget

when i'm feeling blue
i'll play in the puddles
in the road and
take my time in
the rainfall until it's
time to head to bed again

the sun will catch us off guard
burning away the temporary
cold, offering up a new
chance at being brave
in the face of that which
we don't recognize
and may never know

and then we'll leap
through triangle twenty
and ride the waves into
infinite truth and hope
everything turns out okay

I'm sorry I ran that way
I'm sorry that locomotive
Killed you on the tracks
And when I picked up the
Pieces you left behind, I
Found no way to repair you

Nothing short of God
Can mend shattered gristle
And blood spread over a million
Miles, I know that you still
Ride that train into the
Great forever

I take some comfort knowing
That you're seeing the world now
Like you said you always wanted to
Even if it's not like how we
Imagined it

Briefly caught in the crossfire,
Cut in half by speeding bottles,
Torn apart by the words of drunk monsters,
I've weathered a lot

Nothing will come close to this
Confusion, this terror wrecking my
Fragile bones, a heart that cannot
Comprehend the horrors you've wrought
And I know that you are just as fearful

You said it to my face and it took me
Months to catch on and now it's worse
Than ever - quickly made worse than it ever was

A kiss on the chest
triggers the human instinct
to draw a quick breath

We were never good at talking things out,
tongues like switchblades

Never good at figuring ourselves out,
wills carved in evergreens

Your wide eyes never knew me
and your hands never touched my skin,
I know it needs to be this way so I
can get out of your mind

Do you have any idea
How much I love your
Purple sunsets and your
Old baby blue guitar?

The way you play for me
On the beach late Wednesday
Night before the cops bust us
For breaking curfew

Bury my feet in the sand and
Hold my head down beneath the
Waves like you hate my guts
But I know you love me

Only you will sing to me when the clock
Strikes midnight or pour out your
Heart to a stranger

I love nothing more than sensationalized
Love stories, since I must admit that I'm
Only really romancing the idea of you
Since I think you're missing in action

And that's okay

outstanding odds know no bounds -
they dance and uproot the trees in
my mind, they tear up my boots as
i pass by

losing skin and muscle until i am
merely bone they sing and scream
to me, making beautiful songs from
the lyrics in my head

No different now than it was before,
You thought I was mad at you but a
Resting face isn't under my control

And empty words are the same as
No words at all and I can't figure
Which one I prefer

Because they're both ******* aggravating

I met you in a cloud down by the quarry
And we were there to watch it when
God cursed the crows with their raucous
Voices because they told too many of His secrets
When he wasn't listening

Looking into your eyes I see a deep
History of ups and downs and
Promise and venom and I need you to
Hold on

Hey,
It's not that bad

You know that
You feel that
You see that
You're rounding out now and
Growing comfortable in this world
We've built up just
For you

Listen though, little fighter --
It's a tough place to survive but
I know you have
What it takes

Never really felt awful about
The way I slip in my rhetoric
And sink the world into these
Bogs of everlasting rot

It was my curse to inspire anger
But now in my path is
Sown sadness and though I will
It not, that's the way curses are

I never write down my poems and
They always rhyme,
Cast in dead images and
Forged by the lips of an angel

It's all I could hope for to make
It to the bottom

I meant to take a shower
Seventeen minutes ago
And by the time this poem is
Written, the clock will read a little
Wrong and I'll be lost again

I'll feel a little bad again and
I'll forget what it feels like
To kiss someone and mean it
To love someone and mean it

Remember when it was
Exciting?

Neither do I

i promised that when
the sun hit i'd be happier
but now my mind is clear
and i'm back to my senses

don't think i want to do
this anymore

the sun rose today and my
heart said we're going to the
river, going for a ride
and my mind said that sounds fine

i'd like to learn to live
slow again

Oh honey,
Don't try to hide

You make my skin crawl;
Just the way I love it

Cold scars, blank eyes,
The only things that scare me

Clouds abound and far
Glittering emerald heights
Smokestacks at the base

how you still think of me
is beyond the moon
and all the sky's stars
but i am thankful

sitting at dinner and feeling
the warmth on my face and
seeing the love in your eyes
makes me yearn for this week
to end so we can be free again