eating me from the inside out
from the outside not wanting to look in
deep breath, insides get a bit more tense
one of these days, your heart is going to break
it's bound to happen, you've fried your brain
your heart doesn't beat like everyone else's
and your skin is purple
why am I always sick?

mood changing like the tides, unpredictable, no moon inside me
when it rains it pours
when it shines I can find the strength to smile
in heaven everything is fine
swallowing pills so I stay on cloud 9
forgot what it's like to have my feet on the ground
breathing becomes hard to do, I have to remind myself how to
holding back the fool

fear, paranoid
I keep seeing things that aren't really there
pour it up so the whole room slurs it's words when it talks
everyone's looking at me and I don't even know who I am
a second passes and I'm sure I found something inside me that is stable
but just like my heartbeat, I'm irregular
I forget to hold back the fool sometimes
blindfolded by the mental illnesses hiding inside my brain
a tangled mess of insanity

I don't sleep anymore
I can't stop coughing up black phlegm and old memories
faces that have changed
memories that I've replaced with fantasy
I get high again, I've always wanted to be a queen
the walls are talking again
am I awake? am I falling? am I alive?
alone in the middle of the night
questioning my existence, pondering space
my mind is emptied and filled with questions nobody knows the answer to
what am I doing here?
is the world simply a figment of my imagination?
the walls are talking again