Your soul
is a sunflower-
that's why you light up
any room that you enter.
Your light beats to the rhythm of the sun,
a radiance that sparks joy to those
whose eyes are lucky enough
to reflect your light.

You have proved me right-
nothing lasts forever and
you broke that promise

3:55 PM
25/6/22

I have never been
anyone's favorite person-
wouldn't that be nice?

12:00 AM
25/6/22

I do not need death
to enter heaven,
to be by your side is
enough to make me feel
like I'm with an angel.

It is as easy
to feel love and warmth as it
is to feel heartbreak

5:59 PM
23/6/22

I want to get lost
in another country and
forget who I am

2:06 AM
23/6/22

I wonder if you have forgotten me,
if I have withered from your sunflower
like a petal ready to discard?
Do I still cross your mind or
am I a forgotten memory
lost to the winters of time?
I still think about you from time to time-
I guess I have a harder time shedding
these petals I still hold dear
to this sunflower.

Time has a way
of turning people to memory.
The process can manifest
as a wound slowly healing or
a humble nostalgia that you cannot
help but smile when looking back.
In the end, will they leave you smiling
or with another scar to carry?

I may as well just
imagine you the way you
aren't here anymore

5:40 PM
13/6/22

Your silence shrieks throughout me
like a banshee in distress.
It ***** the air from these lungs,
corrupting this heart and
leaving me a hollow shell.
You leave me in turmoil
as you move on to
your next victim.

It was nice
To have the idea
that I had met the living embodiment
of all my dreams and fantasies.
It was doomed from the start
because that's what it was, a fantasy.
Still, I do not regret dreaming-
giving in to what was probably a
delusion more than a dream
because to this day,
you are still the closest thing
to what I could dream of.

Even in dreams
I cannot escape you.
Your voice still shrieks through sleep
and your face can still be seen
throughout these dreamscapes.
What was once a method of escape
has now become a prison of
memories of a love I thought I
left behind long ago.

My dreams were clearer
without the taint of your name,
your face, memories...

4:54 PM
12/6/22

If I could turn back
time I would eliminate
the moment we met

4:51 PM
12/6/22

Sometimes
I miss the sensations,
the thrill, the palpitations,
the titillations, the adventure.
But nothing more, just that,
or so I tell myself.

We love in silence-
our love is evident in our actions.
We are the silent lovers-
we are one in the same.

If not for the you I used to know
I would have thought you
to be a monster.

There is a sunflower
in the centre of my heart
and it blossoms
in your love.

I want my poems
to fall like seeds in your mind
and sprout like flowers

6:11 PM
7/6/22

I remember the memories
you left on my plate.
To this day,
they keep me satisfied
and leave me wanting seconds.

You walked away
as if it were nothing
whereas I could not even
imagine turning my back.
I don't know if I should
envy or despise
you.

Humanity hurt each other-
they would hurt me.
Despite my cynicism,
I adored them,
I helped them.
But the hurt continued...
I don’t do that anymore.

I was not born a
leader nor a follower-
I was born to write

3:58 PM
3/6/22

You have moved on while
I am still paralyzed and
I can't move at all

11:34 PM
1/6/22

I know you
like the sun knows
the sunflowers.
Your love blossoms in this heart
and I nurture it as if it were
the last seed on Earth.

You left a hole in
my heart that I will never
dare to fill again

8:05 PM
31/5/22

Just know that there is
no place I go where you do not follow,
that there are no days that you are forgotten,
that this silence is a loud longing for you
and that the beating in this chest is
the desire to hold you again.
I close my eyes for yet another night
wondering when we will meet again.
But until then, it is in these dreams
where we will have to meet,
where this love remains eternal.

Sweet sunflower,
I watch you from afar.
Your petals wither and
all I want to do is shine light into your heart.
All alone in a bed of thorns you are-
I want to plant more like you and
nurture them as if they too were
the apple of my eye.

When did these walls I
built around myself become
a self-made prison?

4:39 PM
30/5/22

I think back
to when we first met and
compare it to where we are now...
what happened?

Dear diary;
at the end of the day,
I have no one to blame but myself
for this wall I have built
to keep everyone else
out.

How can you say you're
empty when the universe
is inside of you?

6:15 PM
28/5/22

There is no soul,
it is merely an illusions
we have created to
project our desires in death onto
in hopes of an afterlife.

There is no soul,
it is merely an illusion
we have created to
project our desires in death onto
in hopes of an afterlife.

Do you miss me
like I miss you?
I do not know if you do,
or if you still think about me
like I think about you.
I do miss you,
who I thought you were
and how you made me feel.
Those things are gone now,
just a memory I will
continue to miss.

How can forgetting you
be an option when your love
remains in this heart,
infused onto this soul?

What is sadder:
to forget or to remember?

I have been speechless
since I kissed your lips.
For it is in your mouth
I left my voice,
my reason,
my soul.

In this desert
we call life,
you are my
oasis.

A series of mistakes
had to happen for you
to become who
you are
today.

I cannot believe
that you cannot believe that
you are amazing

7:32 PM
25/5/22

Yes,
I accepted it,
but that doesn't mean
it does not make
me sad.

It's so easy
to create emotions-
what's difficult is holding onto
those emotions.

All the heartbroken,
the lonely and the dreamers
all hear the same song in these
early hours of the morning.
We are solitary
yet the night sings us
to sleep or something
more sinister.

Darkness calls me
at midnight and takes pity
on this lonely soul.
The night turns cold and
the shadows return after
another busy day of
distracting myself in light,
out of their reach
if only for
a little while.

I don’t regret opening the door to you.
you entered this heart and
illuminated every corner.
You were the brightest thing
I have ever let in
even though you
turned off the light.

Another room,
another company,
they all feel the same after a while.
I prefer solitude,
to keep to myself and
listen to these people
rather than speak.
But in truth, I feel even more alone
when I am with them rather
than my solitude.
These walls were built to
shield me from these people
and I intend to keep
the door closed.

It hurts me so much
to see what I see,
what hurts me more is
that no one else sees it.

You sprout from
the seeds of my thoughts
into a sunflower I cannot forget,
each petal, a memory I
will nurture with every
drop of nostalgia and every
ray of love.

To taste her lips
is to drink her soul.