How can you say you're
empty when the universe
is inside of you?

6:15 PM
28/5/22

There is no soul,
it is merely an illusions
we have created to
project our desires in death onto
in hopes of an afterlife.

There is no soul,
it is merely an illusion
we have created to
project our desires in death onto
in hopes of an afterlife.

Do you miss me
like I miss you?
I do not know if you do,
or if you still think about me
like I think about you.
I do miss you,
who I thought you were
and how you made me feel.
Those things are gone now,
just a memory I will
continue to miss.

How can forgetting you
be an option when your love
remains in this heart,
infused onto this soul?

What is sadder:
to forget or to remember?

I have been speechless
since I kissed your lips.
For it is in your mouth
I left my voice,
my reason,
my soul.

In this desert
we call life,
you are my
oasis.

A series of mistakes
had to happen for you
to become who
you are
today.

I cannot believe
that you cannot believe that
you are amazing

7:32 PM
25/5/22

Yes,
I accepted it,
but that doesn't mean
it does not make
me sad.

It's so easy
to create emotions-
what's difficult is holding onto
those emotions.

All the heartbroken,
the lonely and the dreamers
all hear the same song in these
early hours of the morning.
We are solitary
yet the night sings us
to sleep or something
more sinister.

Darkness calls me
at midnight and takes pity
on this lonely soul.
The night turns cold and
the shadows return after
another busy day of
distracting myself in light,
out of their reach
if only for
a little while.

I don’t regret opening the door to you.
you entered this heart and
illuminated every corner.
You were the brightest thing
I have ever let in
even though you
turned off the light.

Another room,
another company,
they all feel the same after a while.
I prefer solitude,
to keep to myself and
listen to these people
rather than speak.
But in truth, I feel even more alone
when I am with them rather
than my solitude.
These walls were built to
shield me from these people
and I intend to keep
the door closed.

It hurts me so much
to see what I see,
what hurts me more is
that no one else sees it.

You sprout from
the seeds of my thoughts
into a sunflower I cannot forget,
each petal, a memory I
will nurture with every
drop of nostalgia and every
ray of love.

To taste her lips
is to drink her soul.

I am still learning
to give what you made me feel-
love and all that's nice

19/5/22

I do not believe
that I was made for this world
nor the world for I

4:46 PM
19/5/22

How can you say you're
empty when the universe
is inside of you?

4:16 PM
18/5/22

Oh, how big you have grown,
how smart you are getting and
how creative you have become!
I could not be more proud and
these are just few of the reasons
I miss you more
with each passing day!

It's only natural
to miss the one who healed your
heart, your mind and soul

11:46 PM
15/5/22

In the end,
you either leave
because you are not loved
or you stay
because you love too much.

Have you come
to put me out of my misery
or are you going to keep pretending
to love me?

If you pray
in the same tone
you speak to me,
I can understand why
the angels don't stop
listening to you.

She wore a sunflower dress
and showered him in love and light.
She wanted to warm him
as much as her dress
warmed her.

Dreams have a way
of reuniting us with those
we have loved and lost
to the grave and to time.
Dreams have a way
of telling us they're not really gone,
but forever with us
in heart and in soul.

In dreams you call me
and I wake up each morning
smiling thanks to you

11:23 PM
13/5/22

If it were not for dreams,
how else would we escape?
There would be nothing to look forward to
each time we close our eyes
and wonder what world awaits us.
At the end of the day,
whether we feel sad,
happy, or anything in between,
we find solace in closing our eyes
as we drift into the dream world.
Sometimes we wake up with feelings
we did not know we had.
Sometimes it is good to escape
at least just for a while.

Let me mirror my sun
into your sunflower
and weave my sunlight
into your petals.

Dear diary;
Tonight,
I will once again
return to the shadows,
to hollowness and emptiness,
to nothingness.
Oh, the joy of losing myself
in the darkness of space and time,
the joy of being no one and nothing
for another night.

Even in darkness,
my shadow will torment me-
I can't outrun it

8:45 PM
13/5/22

Dear diary;
it has taken me
far too long to realize that
my biggest obstacle in life
is me, always has been,
and that hurts more than anyone ever could.
Wherever I go, whatever I do,
my shadow will follow me around-
a subtle reminder of my
mistakes, regrets and reminders
of who I used to be.
Yes, I now realize that no one
is as guilty as me when
it comes to me.

How many times can
the same thing destroy your heart?
I think I've lost count

8:34 PM
13/5/22

I do not
feel loved,
never have and I
would not know what to do
anyway.

I now realize that
my biggest problem is me-
it always has been

11:11 PM
9/5/22

It's always going
to be a beautiful day
when you're on my mind

4:18 PM
9/5/22

I have hidden from my shadow.
I cannot look it in its eyes,
the ones that only serve to scorn me.
I fear its judgement,
its cold and its fury.
I try to dwell in the light,
far away from my shadow but
the shadow learns to adapt and annihilate.
Night time comes and once again,
it's just me and my shadow.

Dear diary;
I find myself either
staying home and
wishing I had gone out or
going out and
wishing I had stayed home-
there is no in between.

You said that
I do not know you
and you do not know me.
I said I did not believe you,
that this love said otherwise.
Your hands were so familiar in mine-
a puzzle piece to complete
that perfect picture.
How can you call me a stranger
when you used to call me yours?
I still look at you as though
you are all I have ever known,
just like the way you used
to look at me
so very long
ago.

Thinking about the future
makes me anxious.
Not thinking about the future
makes me anxious.
There is no middle-ground and
we are all anxious.

We write to cleanse-
to rid these feelings from our system
whether it be the butterflies in our bellies
or the demons that lurk our minds.
There is no lying to the page-
this pen knows us better
than we know ourselves.
It takes an honest soul to
bleed onto the page,
each word a heartbeat
and a trail that follows us
through this life.

We would do anything
to avoid the goodbye.
These last few days I
am left wondering
"will I ever see you again?"
and I wonder if you ask it too.
Indeed, each day brings us closer
to not having one another
and it's eating me up inside.
What will these arms caress,
what will these lips taste
once you are gone?
Must we resort to memories
to keep ourselves alive?

If this world makes you
sad then let me be the one
to make you happy

11:08 PM
28/4/22

I am a storm-
a trail of destruction
that follows me each day.
I am the thunder,
the pain and paranoia
that goes boom in the night.
I am the black clouds-
I am my own black hole
and this anger cannot
escape.

Letting go is hard-
letting go is necessary.
It can lead to freedom but
it does not come without pain-
a small price to pay
for this peace of mind.
I am free today because I let go
and I make no regrets.

Being social can be
quite overrated, can't it?
Friday nights should be for
going for strolls somewhere new,
driving around slowly whilst
listening to your favorite tunes,
reading books, writing poetry,
sighing at memories missed
and wondering if it will
ever be that good again.

There was a sunflower
that stood alone on a hill
in the darkest of days.
Still, it lit up the field
and inspired me to write these words.
How many days had it been there,
alone yet amazing?
So lucky I was to find this hidden treasure,
its seed now planted in this heart.