We all get a little
overwhelmed sometimes
but the memories of you and I
sustain me the most.
I submerge myself in the thought of you,
that sublime smile and
the sunflower that is your heart
and I feel better again.
Just knowing you exist,
the miracle that you are,
is more than I could ever ask for.

You live, you breathe,
you laugh and don't even know
that you are all my
love, hope and inspiration
all at once.
Do you even remember this face
and what it was
to be as one?
Every heartbeat still beats for you,
for you are my blood,
my soul and my own.

I must admit I
give too much attention to
that which has drained me

6:20 PM
18/10/22

I regret to inform you,
but I'm not home anymore.
I have left that place and all
the memories that remained.
One day I hope to forget
all the pain stored inside
the place I called my home.
Indeed, I have moved away from you
and I am not looking back.

Dear diary;
Today,
I feel alive.
so much so that
my demons are
laughing with me.

Your love
makes me feel like I'm
falling like a petal in
your presence.
Carried by your breath,
I drift into your heart
and make my home.

When the demons
get too loud,
all you can do is
write to them or
let them **** you.

The sun doesn't stop shining
just because we stop looking.
Why should you stop writing
if you think no one is reading?

I don't think
I could ever fit in.
Sometime I feel I was born
to walk alone...
and that is okay.
I have known solitude
all my life and
thought some people will
never understand...
that is okay.

Some people enter
your life like a dream but then
leave like a nightmare

6:50 PM
8/10/22

We are all born
with sunflowers in our chests.
It is up to us to nurture them
and let them grow and guide us.
Let love's sunlight and
the rainfall of life
provide you with
all you need to keep
the flower firm.

Isn't it ironic when
our pain helps us to write?
So much so that we get so
caught up in the inspiration that
we let the happiness pass by.
We hold onto that pain and
squeeze every last drop
of ink until our
work is done.

Dear diary;
The sorrow comes in waves
and today I am
the sea.

Sometimes I forget
That I'm alone and that these
thoughts are all I have

10:04 PM
29/9/22

Relief is a cleansed heart
so let the anger burn away.
Yes, it's easier said than done but
there is no worse burden than a heavy heart.
So grab onto the heartbreak, the anguish,
and even the unresolved
and let the tears pour until
you are dry.
Now you can
let go.

If the sunflowers knew
what I carry in my soul,
perhaps they would wither
to the winds of winter that accompanies me.
Indeed, my sun is burning out
and it weeps for those
nostalgic flames that summer
once held dear.

Words come and go but
feelings do not change, for they
remain fossilized

10:50 AM
24/9/22

Words come and go but
feelings do not change, for they
remain fossilized

10:50 AM
24/9/22

You do not know what
to do with me but that is
okay, no one does

5:58 PM
23/9/22

It was you who hurt
me and yet I was the one
who apologized

11:50 PM
22/9/22

Lust is a star
exploding in my chest.
See it burn in the night,
a beacon only for your
pretty little eyes.
Come and tame this star
that burns for the galaxy
within your heart.

One day you'll be gone
and I have to figure out
how to deal with that

12:01 AM
20/9/22

Sometimes I wonder
why you stopped loving me
and then I self-reflect
and wonder why I
stopped loving me
too.

My heart is so full of you.
Your love brightens it,
turning this heart into a garden
of endless beauty.
One smile from you is enough
to bloom a thousand sunflowers.

God I hope she does
not end up like you when she
is older, amen

3:07 AM
18/9/22

There are some people
you can know a lifetime
and still not relate to
just as there are strangers
who you can relate to
as if having known
them a lifetime.

I was full of fear, hurt and sorrow.
I thought I would remain alone forever
as I bore your absence rather than face my flaws.
It took some time, but now I am free-
free from your shadow and spite.
Even more, I am okay with solitude,
for solitude is a better companion
than you ever were.
I can now finally close the door and
embrace the lessons I learnt the hard way.
So much heartbreak was not in vain.

You crossed my path and I realized
that you haven't changed at all.
Still, you are the lost and bitter
individual that I did not realize
until you turned away.
The difference between then and now
is that my eyes see through you.

After so much pain
under the chill of the winter moon,
a kiss from the sun herself
is enough to get me
through one more
year.

Saying 'I'm sorry'
is just another way to
announce 'I love you'

12:59 AM
16/9/22

It's nice to think that
you might read my poetry
even if you won't

11:17 PM
14/9/22

When are you coming home?
I am still in the same place you abandoned me.
It is not distance that separates us,
but you who drives the rift.
How do you not see it?
The longer we isolate,
the more we suffer.
Are you happy like this?
Lost in separation?
It is not only I that you have lost,
but this family,
this love,
yourself...

I have you-
and that is only thing
that matters to me.

You may not
be able to forget them,
but you sure as hell
can remember them
as lessons.

There's nothing sadder
than facing the future without
the one you planned it with.

I do not fear losing you
as much as I fear you losing me.
Our memories are forever tattooed in my mind,
and this love, forever burning in my heart.
I know I will never lose you.
What I fear is that I will fade-
my name, my blood, my memory.
Will the winds of time extinguish this bond
or will another flame reignite the spark
that we once shared?

I do not fear losing you
as much as I fear you losing me.

It is as rare as it is wonderful
to find someone with a beautiful mind,
and better yet, a beautiful heart.
But it is also as tragic as it is wonderful
to discover that who you thought had both,
had neither all along.

We were born alone
and we will surely die alone.
So in the meantime,
won't you hold me
close?

I still believe there is a
little piece of love that flickers in
the centre of your heart-
Like an ember struggling to breathe
in the heart of a
stormy night.

They say it is unhealthy
to live in the past,
but it is okay to visit it
every now and again,
right?

To break old habits
is the seed of change,
but to sprout, it requires the
fortitude of the sun.

It's impossible
to lose anything when all
you have is in you

10:50  PM
31/8/22

'It is what it is',
so you had better find a
way to live with it

5:17 PM
30/8/22

It has taken me too long
to realize that you aren't coming back.
At first I thought you would eventually
miss me like I miss you-
that you would constantly check your phone
as I check mine,
but it was never you.
I spent all this time waiting for you,
trying to remember the memories,
the way you made me feel,
while you spent all this time
falling in love with
someone else.
It pained me see the two of you,
perhaps it always will,
but at least I know now that
you are not coming back.
Indeed, you had not thought about me
that way I still thought about you
but rather, it was as you never loved me at all,
as if I had never existed.
It's time to begin the process
of letting go.

I never did stop
loving you, I just learnt to
do it in silence

1:16 AM
28/8/22

You said forever
but you did not mention just
how short it would be

1:12 AM
28/8/22

I still daydream about you,
and I feel my soul jump for JOY
from country to country to chase you.
The smile you put on my face
as wide as the space between us
when we are not together.  
I can still feel this JOY
through that space-
it fills me up like a cup of matcha
on all those nippy nights without you.
What a miracle it was
to have crossed paths with you-
a bright star in what was
an empty void.

Winter goes into hibernation
and spring comes out a little early in August.
Brief but blissful moments of warmth
come and go,
bringing with it,
memories of a love lost long ago.

It's not about what you lose,
it's about what you learned
from what you lose.

Sometimes its best to
forget when remembering
is just too painful

7:52 PM
25/8/22