It has been too long-
time is still passing,
yet the memories still remain,
sometimes clear as day,
sometimes like a dream.
But the longing to return to you
has created a galaxy within me
that no amount of stars
except your radiance
can illuminate.

Perhaps the red flags
only become visible
after the end.
But what if there was no end?
What if you look back on
the would-be red flags as
simply milestones that
show how much your partner
has matured and grown?

This life is
really not so poetic.
It's dreary and empty,
and almost ordinary.
These poems are but therapy-
an attempt to make sense of
this world and all emotions
that come with living in it.
They're a coping mechanism to
work through the pain and
better understand oneself.

I miss you like
a seed in winter
craving the warm sunlight
of your touch and the
rejuvenation of your rains
to keep me blooming
throughout  
the year.

Maybe you will survive
when the storm is over but
you will never be the same.
It will leave you broken and scattered,
like the ruins of a city and
uprooted like its trees.
Only a wasteland will remain,
to which you will have to
refill with lessons learnt.

It's the solitary nights
I cherish the most.
The silence and shadows,
the thoughts and theories-
these are the things that
keep this heart beating-
this is what it's all about.

It's true that I can't
see you anymore but I
still can't forget you

5:24 PM
25/2/25

Sometimes I
think about all the
places I could have gone
but never did,
wondering what versions
of me I would have met
in all of these countless
possibilities.

You are only
torturing yourself
when trying to guess
what would have happened.
The past has happened,
and no amount of
thought will
change that.

Growing older is
a privilege not everyone
will experience

6:01 PM
8/2/25

It feels like an
eternity and a blink
since the last time
I saw you and I
have been prisoner
to this paradox
ever since.

It is better to
leave than to pretend that you
do not want to leave

4:15 PM
8/2/25

What do you do when
your head is obsessed but your
heart is detached?

7:27 AM
5/2/25

You have to always
stay committed to yourself
even though they don't

7:23 AM
5/2/25

You were the softest
fire I had ever touched-
the flame to guide me

7:30 PM
3/2/25

Some people stay
because they truly
understand you while
others leave for
the exact same
reason.
This is one of
life's greatest
ironies.

I think a part of us
knew this was never
meant to last,
and how could it?
We were too different-
two worlds colliding,
and yet we did not care.
We let love prevail-
it was too strong to deny.

Sometimes
you just need to
disappear for a moment
to rekindle the spark
so you can burn
another day.

Some days the
urge to reach out to
you is stronger than others.
That urge turns to an ache
when I remember how
you cut that line
so very long ago.

Just know that
you are not the only one
going through this
all-too-human and
inevitable pain.
The grief, the loss,
the unbearable weight of it all.
Just know that you do not have
to carry it all on
your own.

Every moment we
have spent together will
live in me forever.
These moments are ours,
and mine alone,
living in between each
heartbeat and behind
every smile until
the end.

Winter is hard
when you have so
much love and you are not
here to receive it.
Nothing illuminates the darkness,
nothing warms the coldness and
nothing thaws the ice from
this heart when you are
not here as my sun.

January
smelt of sorrow-
it usually does.
For what, I do not know,
but every year I hope to
figure it out and make sure
to avoid it in twelve months.
Oh well,
better luck next year.

There are some
thoughts and memories
that you try to lock away
and throw away the key-
those **** thoughts
that open the floodgates
of torment and shame
if thought about for
just a moment.

The stars that
fill my skies are
all from your
universe.

Depression is
your mind's way of
keeping the sorrow
at bay.

I feel as if
I am a refugee
in my own life
still in search of a
home I will
never know.

Grief is
inevitable.
Everyone will pass-
they will turn to memories
and all you can do to prepare
is make sure you made an
abundance of them for
that inevitable day.

You may never
read my words
and that is okay-
as long as I have a way
to get this off my chest.

I fell in love
with an angel
but forgot that I was
a mere mortal infatuated
in forbidden love.

I fell in love
with a shooting star
but forgot they are
destined not to stay.

How can you
chase a dream that
does not want to
be caught?

Am I over it?
Not really.
Will I survive?
Probably.

The Earth can only
contain so much before
it bursts open from its
volcanoes and geysers,
as can a star when it
goes supernova.
What chance do you have
of holding it all in?

You cannot
miss what never existed,
right?

I have been
waiting for the
December rain to
cleanse me once again
of the pain and grime
I have gathered
over the year.

You feel strange again-
you don't know why,
and suddenly you're
reliving your youth and
realizing that there must be
something inherently wrong with you
that people don't like and you
don't know what it is.

They say
you remember all
the little details when
you are in love.
Every word, every smile,
every adventure and
every argument.
I still remember it all,
and you can barely
remember my name.

The time spent with you
went by like a dream.
I dream about those dreams-
moments in time where
I have never felt more awake.

December trudged
after November looking haggard
After carrying another year on its back.
As if that was not enough,
we burden December with our
expectations and hopes
of a miracle.

Isn't it strange
how we forget most
of our dreams yet there
are some dreams that
we carry for the
rest of our lives?

People are
like chemicals:
some mixtures bond
and some mixtures
go bang.

In this life there are
people who like and dislike you.
It has taken me too long to let the latter go,
and to understand that there is
little you can do to change that.
All you can do is let them go,
move on, and live with that fact
because not everyone is going to like you.
Understand that it is their loss
and that tripping over yourself
for others will never bring
you happiness nor
your true self.

Some memories come
in the form of angels and
some in the form of demons.  
You won’t survive the
mental hell if you let
the demons stay
for too long.

Dear diary;
I find myself drained
at even the little things.
The chores, the socializing,
the emotions and the obligations.
It is no wonder I am exhausted
at the end of the day just
trying to survive.

Love can make
you feel so vulnerable
yet so safe.
Love is indeed
the biggest
paradox
of life.

It is the human cycle to
surrender to love just as
we surrender to grief.
No one can control this cycle-
it teaches us truth and character,
it builds us up and cuts us down
in the best and worst of times.

Are you
as tired of
this distance
between us
as I am?

12365 kilometres,
an ocean and two countries apart-
it may as well be another galaxy,
yet I can feel the warmth of
your smile radiate from
across the globe and I can
still sing along to your heartbeat.
With all this distance,
we are never really alone
when our love
transcends all.

I close my eyes and
summon you into a dream.
Even if it's for a little while,
let's pretend it is real.