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 Oct 2013 Missblackraven
AJ
What can I say?
Nie wiem.
I guess I've never been too good at anything.
Rolling around in my sleep
And making sure I can't eat normally.
That's about all I've done.
I've broken many hearts just for sport.
And I break my own so I can hurt.
At least that means I can feel.
I had the chance once.
I was so close.
Like I said
What can I say?
I had the blade in my hand
Don't be scared, act like a man.
Could've sliced the tie that keeps me here
With selfhatred, Mia, and constant fear.
I've been good and working hard
Doing my best to get noticed for the right reasons
There's a ******* my mind
We are both goal oriented
I've been focused and ambitious
Id like to do more for myself and other benefit
Lots of of ideas bouncing around
Id like to make them a reality
Instead of asking what if
As of late I've been asking how
Id like everyone to be happy but that's on them
In over lowering myself to be accepted
Majority of the time I'm rejected
Being sober and straight edge
I like to read use my mind not let tv influence my reality
Writing is my expression so I could be heard and understood
I'm hooked on good vibes not fueled by negativity
Avoiding ppl who don't understand
Praying to be understood
Black gravel and slime
soaked
in sallow streetlight
Rap music wedges through
the crack in a broken hinge
The dishwasher in the kitchen
swears
and drops a hot pan
A rich man in a rich car
cruises by, smothering my darkness
in headlights
highlighting the grime
on the toes of my Chucks
My break is up
But I will just
stay here,
toss my cigarette stub
in the greasy pepper can
and have
another
smoke
The waxing crescent moon is dim
but it sheds light enough to see
thirty dusty glass eyes
staring right back at me

Neat spun curls in copper, gold, and chocolate
beneath delicate straw hats trimmed in lace
fifteen cold bodies stand stock still
with all of their gazes trained on my face

Dainty petticoats fluffy under dresses
and leater boots over feet without toes
what they do when we close our eyes
nobody truly knows

Painted-on cheeks and smooth porcelain grins
fifteen flawless girls all perfectly dressed
smiling wide because they all know
this night will give me no rest
init nice
init grand
init the new language
init this land.

init so sweet that they can't even tweet without init being in it,
but I've had enough of that init in stuff so stuff that in your pipe and smoke it,
init.
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