Please let the records show
That I am an innocent man
Sure I was at the scene of the crime
Sure the gun was still in my hand

If I may be permitted to approach the bench
With my perfect alibi
Since I was nowhere near the scene at the time
And clearly did not commit this hideous crime

I even brought in a credible witness
My dear old sweet mother to vouch for me
We were in her kitchen exchanging culinary secrets
I'd fill the court in on all the details but it's a secret you see

And to tell the truth the details might bore you
And who's got time to sing that song
Now Judge you know I've been here before
And have I ever steered you wrong

So let's just let the records show
That in no way was I involved
Striking it clear and ending it here
Calling this whole thing off

Sometimes life is like...

A short walk on a long pier
Bright headlights in the eyes of a deer
One thing that is perfectly clear
Life's pretty scary from the view over here

Life can also be like...

The front end of a Big Mac truck
Pulling the pin on a grenade for luck
The smacking of lips along with the crunch
The last thing you hear as the lions lunch

Sometimes life can be like...

A hayride in a circle of fire
A kite flight where you can't get no higher
Late at night in a room full of liars
Having to sell to the lowest of buyers

Life can also be like...*

The swirling around in the toilets flush
The last seat on the back of the bus
No need to fight with all of this fuss
Life as it is can be pretty rough

I met a man in a playful tune
Who had a thought I thought I knew
He said to me goo goo g'joob
Does anything sound more real to you

We were out standing in a field
With fresh strawberries dancing at our heels
In a moment a bit to surreal
Continue on Bungalow Bill

We moved past a four man line
As we slipped into dream #9
Being there for the benefit of Mr. Kite
When Lucy and her diamonds fell from the sky

A day in the life left tragically
Our mystery tour on a yellow submarine
The revolution of love has now left the building
In a puddle of memories out on the street

She held your hand to comfort you
The color of love now the color of blue
Till the bitter end you sang passion true
Goodbye to you Goo goo g'joob...

Could I have a piece of poetry please
With a slight rhyme on the side
A haiku or a sinew
On which a man could dine

The tastiest of tidbits
That I would care to read
Just enough to fill me up
This plate of poetry

Pour on the best in condiments
Cut a limerick from the bunch
Now with all of that said I think
I'll sit down and do lunch

You're passing by the window
Of a fancy clothing store
Eyes popping in surprise
As your jaw drops to the floor
All you've ever dreamed of
All of this and more
More than enough can't believe your luck
As you hit the revolving doors

You've found a pair of Fancy Pants!

You do a happy dance
Cause you know this is your chance
To fulfill the dreams you've dreamed of
As a gullible young  lad
You have the widest grin
You have ever imagined
As you slide one leg then the other
Stop the presses this is it

Hello Mr. Fancy Pants!

These being the fanciest pants
Anyone has ever seen
People stop and stare
With eyes that can't believe
Flashing pink and blue and yellow
Orange, red, and green
Not skipping a single solitary beat
Strolling confidently down the street

Look out world it's Mr. Fancy Pants!

Some people have minor dreams
Of being kings or queens
Others wish their names
To go down in history
Struggle all their lives
To perform some awesome feat
But as for you
You're just happy

Being Mr. Fancy Pants!

She dresses in paisley
Wishes on daisies
Falls asleep to the televisions glow

Drinks Calamine tea
The tea she believes
Brings about memories only she knows

Wears perfume on her finger tips
So when she points it smells like this
Lavender with a hint of ginger

She has a yellow bird that talks
A pink and purple frog
She dresses in mink come winter

Her shoe leather is patent
The only way she will have them
Her tribute to the 70's

She herself is a secret
Hoping that she can keep it
As she floats across the seas

You died long ago to the bottle
The day you slipped and fell into the glass
Face first into a life of whiskey
Until there wasn't anything left

You lost all your friends and acquaintances
Forsook those that loved you the most
You came to the table with the only hand you were able
Raising it high in a toast

Here's to the one who understands me
The only one who still hangs around
Love the way she kisses me, dear whiskey
I'll turn her up before I'll turn her down

Forever we will always be together
Nothing will ever pull us apart
This is how it's meant to be, dear whiskey
This will always be the way that we are

But before too long even she's going to leave you
Bid you adieu to her crown
I wonder if your last thought alone was one of being home
Instead of now 6 feet in the ground

Double or nothing
There's nothing I find
That I'd rather be than to have me
Two places at the same time

As I'm out here traveling
From place to place
Desperate to keep the best part of me
From losing what little is left of my brain

Pushing as I'm pulling
Trying to tow the line
This blowing leaf makes it hard to be
Two places at the same time

Out here on the Wildside
In my search of fortune and fame
Or safely back home where I know I belong
In a world that is calmly tame

But on that dreaded dotted line
That which I've already signed
Sadly keeps me from being free
And in two places at the same time

You bring the nukes
I'll bring the fried bacon
Utensils are optional
In this crazy stew we are making

Add the right amount seasoning
Till it suits your taste
No need for a recipe
To this end of days

Be careful it's hot
So watch where you spew
More or less it's a mess
You'll get all over you

Pay close attention to the lessons
In this culinary course
It cooks up a mean World wide cuisine
This batch of 3rd World War

You've never seen a chef act like this
Even in Hell's  kitchen
If there's any left from this mess
It won't make for good finger licken

What nut job at the top ever thought
To give the ingredients away
You'll need no more it's to die for
This taste of end of days

Conventional plays second fiddle
When warming up to these viddles
You'll be drooling from the first course
Glowing spittle, ****** dribble

With this meal so high at stakes
Not sure we can afford
But fill it up and pass the plate
On this, the 3rd World War

Winter cold it's time to leave
Your marching orders you've received
It's time to move and let in Spring
As the bird begin to sing

The bright yellow Sun starts to shine
With March standing by its side
Bringing on a whole new life
In the turning of the tide

Fresh breath of new air here to breathe
As Winter winds do concede
Pack your bags it's time to leave
As March comes in to fill its needs

First off let's make it clear I ain't funny
And I don't start conversations out with bonjour
But there comes a time in every mans life
Where he needs a good Man-icure

When you hit the age of me on the same feet
It's time to give the old dogs a break
Empty out your calendar this will take all day for sure
And you don't want distractions in the way

Cause when the hair on your toes could keep an Eskimo clothed
And carpet his whole family's igloo
That's when you know it's time to call up your Bro's
And go visit a Asian or two

A pedicure for a man to remove the toe jam
Like they would weapons of mass destruction
But let's not call it a date cause that just sounds gay
Let's say outing or a manly luncheon

Like a kid in a candy store given chocolate galore
With no earthly thoughts of calories
Signed up for the 5 gold star plan soon to be a new man
Where you're bound to not recognize me

From hot wax to cream to all things in between
Why they even buffed my buff
From bottom to top they did the whole lot
And yes I liked it...thank you very much

As we went through the day the new me being made
Rolling me from dock to dock
Then came to the time we stopped short of a dime
When they wanted to give me a bikini WHAT?!?

That's where I drew the line there's just some things I find
That a Manly Man would never stand
We went back to the front, that's enough of this lunch!
THAT gold star wasn't in my plan

Would I do it again? All you gotta do is say when...
But next time round believe me
When it comes to the stars I'll stop at the 4
Which I believe is the boxer instead of bikini

Dear Heart,*
          In the past you've suffered pain
          I know that you are there again
          Wish there was something I could do
          To make it all okay

Dear Heart,
           I know that you rely on love
           And that you never have enough
           But like most everything in life
           It's easier said than done

Dear Heart,
           Want you slow down and take a breath
           If there is any of it left
           There's someone out there for everyone
           You just haven't met them yet

Dear Heart,
           I know how easily you are moved
           Over what people say and do
           Please take these simple words from me
           And hold them up as true

P.S. Dear Heart...
        *I still believe in you

i dreamed of you again last night
you may wonder how i know
the fact my pillow was soaked with tears
in the morning when i awoke

i dreamed of you again last night
what number does that make
not sure that i can count that high
or even dare to say

i dreamed of you again last night
like you weren't even gone
like the accident never happened
like the kids still had their mom

i dreamed of you again last night
and if you must know the truth
i can tell by our kids pillows
that they dream of you too

There is an island...

That keeps on calling my name
Begging me, step out of the game
Before it's too late

There is an island...

With the sweetest of breeze
Gentle swaying of palm trees
That keeps beckoning me

There is an island...

Much more than just in my dreams
To me a reality
Where one day I'll be free

There is an island...

In the middle of the ocean blue
One day that I will swim to
Where there's nothing to do

There is an island...

That is wanting my time
Hoping I'll make up my mind
And leave it all behind

Have pity on me
all I ask is one day without poetry
Between you and the heart
do you think you could find
Some type of reprieve
from this constant rhyme

From the very moment
it is you wake up
You start churning out ideas
like you can't get enough
From your constant
metaphoric playing of words
Mind aren't you listening,
haven't you heard

I honestly feel
I need a break from the rhyme
Before madness sets in
and sanity takes a hike
If you'd use your eyes
I'm sure you would see
That all you think of
these days is poetry

PS.
Dear Mind,
could you see things my way
is that to much to ask
just for one day...

It's been a month of Sundays
Since it is that I set face
Anywhere near this band of angels
In this most Holy Sacred Place

Guilt may overwhelm me
Shame may do me in
This day set forth may break me
Great sinner that I am

No one is less deserving
For I am the least of these
As I am covered in God's glory
Awashed with an inner peace

The days that I've been vacant
Are all apart in the grand scheme of things
Bringing me to my knees in my need of saving
And back to the Eternal King

As my brothers and sisters in Christ surround me
Pouring out love, not ones to judge
Tears of joy like flowing fountains
As another Prodigal son returns

How many are walking through this life
With Helen Keller borrowed eyes
Not seeing what's in front of them
Or what is coming round the bend

Like some spaced out cosmonaut
A porthole view is all they've got
Or a 5th grader at recess
Not much going on in their heads

Reality for most of them
Is seen on T.V. in a darkened den
Not knowing all along that in time
We've become a society, deaf, dumb, and blind

I know a man
Who throws arrows at the moon
He's often been curious
As to what it would do
If one of them hit
And stuck in the eye
Would the moon then
To Love be blind

I know a man*
Who sails the ocean blue
In a paddle boat
That has room for two
He paddles that boat
From shore to shore
In search of the love
That he has no more

I know a man
Who would love to fly
From the sadness he feels
Into another life
If he could get off the ground
Then he would be free
If you must know the truth
*In all actuality... that man is me

Your Mom and Dad bought you love
Cause they had so little time
They could afford to really spend
Or they would have otherwise

They knew you were a loner
But did not understand
How a few short years down the road
You'd play out a losing hand

Only in passing were you ever thought of
As their troubled son
Never once in questioning
Why you needed all those guns

The hapless victims in your path
Wrong place, wrong time
As you shoved them to the other side
Cut down in their prime

Crazy is as crazy does
And crazy as they say

Was the day you cracked the lid
And let crazy have its way

The road on which you traveled
Burned the bottoms of your souls
So you took the one less traveled on
The one of lost control

Never with that much to say
You held it all inside
All we're left with now is who to blame
And the haunting question why

Not the only one who's out there
Just the latest in the string to act it out
More among the cracks and crevices
Of that there is no doubt

How will you be remembered
For the loved ones lost years to come
The memory that you left us with
Is that of the troubled one

Crazy is as crazy does
And crazy as they say

Was the day you cracked the lid
*And let crazy have its way

Who makes the offer
Greases the wheel
It's little wonder
How we all feel
Filling his coffers
For which people ****
No concern for others
Mr. Wheel & Deal  

Standing in bread lines
For their next meal
Without a deadline
Time standing still
Like all good pets
They've learned to heel
Who's at the head
Mr. Wheel & Deal

Placing his marker
Spinning the wheel  
Gambling with others
However he feels
Spending it wildly
All for the thrill
Morning, noon, nightly
Mr. Wheel & Deal

cover me up*
cause i've had enough
of this so called life

to add to the gloom
before you leave the room
please shut out the lights

to keep up the pace
of standing in place
can be a daily affair

it's like i'm not here
it's like your not there
it's like i don't even care

to add to it all
before the fall
life seemed to be working out fine

took what love i had
spent it like cash
down to the very last dime

so cover me up
cause i've had enough
of this so called life

to add to the gloom
before you leave the room
*please shut out the lights

Right about mid morning
I somewhat get the hang of it
After my fifth cup of coffee
And a pack of Raisinets

It seems a constant struggle
To keep it in the loop
If you don't hit the daily double
Then your no longer in the groove

The only thing to count on
Out of everything I see
Life is not as easy
As we're lead to believe

If I have a chance to jump
It's mostly in a lake
Not all the time mind you
But more often than I care to say

I've even lost a couple inches
In all my running round
Have I failed to mention
I keep beating myself down

The only thing for certain
In everything I see
Life is not as easy
As they'd have us believe

I've learned the art of waiting
In the waiting line
If patience is a virtue
I've wasted to much time

The way of finer living
Is spinning down the drain
The only thing life's giving
Is more of the same

*It keeps on confounding me
All of this I see
Life is not as easy
As it all first seemed

The older I am
The older I get
Finding myself doing the same
Thing, again and again

Nothing in life
Ever much changes
I'm so predictable
But then you knew I would say this

It all has to do
With my attitude
But then again
This tidbit you knew

I wake in the mornings
Shower and shave
The very same way
I do every day

I put on my trousers
One leg at a time
First with the left
Then with the right

Same with my shoes
I follow suit
First with the left
Well, you know what I do

A bowl of Cheerios
Every morning for breakfast
I've done this before
So you know that I've got this

After all that
I let the cat out the back
Where he starts the first of many
Afternoon naps

Down on the corner
By 8:05
And just like I am
The bus is always on time

I'm predictable
In all I do and say
Just looking at me
Gives that away

I get to the office
Sit down at my desk
And just like the cat
All day I nap

Back at the corner
By 5:05
Here comes the bus
Still right on time

Make it back home
Let the cat in
Sit down to dinner
Me and my feline friend

Predictable
In all that I do
My trouser routine
Works for my jammies too

Exactly at 9
I'm tucked into bed
So I'm fresh in the morning
To do it all over again

I'd tell you different
But won't play you the fool
Cause we all know that I am
Predictable

If it weren't for Murphy and his Law
I'd have nothing to fall down on

Nothing that I could place the blame
Or have friends say, that's a dog gone shame

Imagine how boring life would be
If everything always went right for me

If nothing ever did break down
If all my dominoes stood their ground

And all my ducks stayed in a row
I'd never have to waddle home

If everything always ran smooth
Then I'd run out of things to do

If this chicken's sky did not sometimes fall
If this car I drive did not hit some walls

If all I do was set on cruise
Then I'd never stop to see the view

There is an advantage to Murphy's Law
That never have I seen before

If Murphy's Law wasn't there for me
Then never would I have a need

You may think that I am famous
Can't recall my name but
You've seen me hang out with the stars

Believe me I'm right there with ya
I'm in their every picture
They don't know me but I know who they are

Thought it'd do me a world of good
To move out West to Hollywood
And try to get my name put up in lights

I myself see nothing wrong
Being the king of the Photo Bomb
Though I'm still matinee and not full price

When I see a major star
I run up to their fancy car
And kindly open up the door

They all give me the strangest glance
When they can't quite place me yet
They feel they've seen me somewhere before

I'm at the next table in the restaurant
Sitting smiling nonchalant
Big toothy grins when the flash bulbs go pop

I'm the guy by the swimming pool
In the Speedo looking cool
Waiting on the Photo Bomb to drop

Or the guy on the red carpet
Expertly placing my spinning head
At the perfect strategical angle

So when the picture does appear
In all the Major Rags for years
I'll be more famous than Charlie Rangel

Those of us that'll never make it
Can anyone really blame us
For trying to slide our way to the top

It's all I really know how to do
If you really must know the truth
My only claim to fame...the Photo Bomb

Have I ever told you anything about my ordinary life
My ordinary kids or my ordinary wife
I go to bed at a decent time every night
So I can get up every morning at the crack of daylight

Where it is I head off to my ordinary job
In my ordinary town with a wink and a nod
I kiss my wife goodbye and say I'll see you real soon
Like I do every day at a quarter past noon

Where she whips up grilled cheese
With tomato soup on the side
But on Fridays I splurge
With tuna on rye

Did you hear what I have?
Tuna on Rye?!
Who was it that said...
I'm an ordinary guy

Life is a gamble
With stakes always high
No room for the faint at heart
So play your cards right

Keep an eye on the dealer
To a tee to a fault
He's the one who's the keeper
Win, lose or draw

Over time you will find
Life is not that kind
With a flip of the wrist
With a roll of the dice

If you're still around
Long after last call
Count yourself lucky
Win, lose or draw

Take a spin on the wheel
Landing red or black
Double or nothing here's the deal
There's no turning back

It might keep you up at nights
Invade all your thoughts
With the feeling something ain't right
Win, lose or draw

We are all poets
In the same boat
The reason we write
Just to stay afloat
There's no other reason
Of that, I know
For us as poets
To stay afloat

So draw the anchor
Hoist the sail
We'll all rhyme our way
Clear outta here
Sailing the pantoum oceans
On sonnet seas
Casting our lot
In the poetic breeze

Steering riddling rudders
Across verses in waves
Until the very last day
We're made to walk the plank
As we are all poets
In the same boat
Trying our best
Just to stay afloat

They grabbed the future by the reigns

Right outside the wedding gate

But alas with passing years

The age of old gets hard to take

Who knew that as of late

Memories would start to wain

Both of them still feel the love

But deep inside so much has changed

In the fog of her mind

She recognizes the familiar face

But as hard as she tries

She can't recall the familiar name

He takes her by her fragile hand

Comforts her with it's okay

Your still my girl, I'm still your man

And it will always be that way

He remembers well his wedding vow

All the promises that he made

And all that heaven will allow

Though they're both now old and gray

Over the years with so much

They held on tight to the love they saved

So at this time they'd have enough

For the likes of this day

This is the place
I find my rest every time
I rest my case
As loves shadow steps into the light

I gladly pay the fee
As your love fills my every need
This being the guarantee
At home in your hands

You being the break
I take from my mistakes
Of the past I've made
Before I find it too late

You are the first thing I ask
When I ask of anything
That is to be seen
At home in your hands

Keep this in mind
Time after time if you can
With you in my life
I'm free of its demands

In our shared belief
Between you and me
Safe in your keep
At home in your hands

Give me some
Give me more
Give me all the literature
I could ever read

Give me books
Give me pads
Give me anything you have

Be it Twain
Be it King
Be it almost anything

From the front
To the back
Till there is nothing of it left

Give me hope
In their notes
Give me anything they wrote

Be it fact
Or fantasy
Fiction mixed with biography

Be it Plath
Be it Poe
Be it here or on the go

Be it hit
Or be it miss
There's a novel of ideas

So give me some
Give me more
Give me all the literature
I could ever read

i used to do

but now i don't

i used to will

but now i won't

i used to rush

into it all

but now i'm lucky

if i even crawl

i used to laugh

but now i cry

whenever it is

i look at life

i used to leap

when they said jump

now all i am

is a permanent duh

i used to see

through rose colored shades

now i count it lucky

if i'm even awake

i used to do

but now i don't

i used to will

but now i won't

I know that you have no idea
That this is even going on
Since so many years it's been
And all with you being gone

No one would believe me
Or accept all this as true
With you being so sweet and innocent
There's no way this is you

But I can't tell you how long now
You've been on this killing spree
As it is your memory
Keeps on killing me

That being all that I have left
Since you are here no more
Still you twist the blade with my thoughts of you
A little deeper in my heart

Until again you pierce the vain
That brings you back to mind
Burning through every part of me
Like wild fire, memory kept alive

So it can continue
On its crazy killing spree
Because it is your memory
That keeps on killing me

a grassy knoll
shots rang out
left a world in fear
with a world in doubt

we watched Camelot
suddenly pass away
on the harsh streets of Dallas
52 years ago today

as the 60's arrived
newly on the scene
hello nightmare
goodbye american dream

on that fateful day
it all fell apart
shot a hole in our soul
left a hole in our heart

when on that grassy knoll
shots rang out
which left a world in fear
to a world in doubt

hello...
before you let go
of the grip that you have
on the end of the rope
take what is left
of the minute you own
giving it back
in a penitence of love

hello...
before you lose hope
catch a shooting star
in its after glow
open your heart
and let it all flow
bring a thought to fruition
then let it grow

hello...
before i go
just a few things
i thought you should know
there's as many rights
as there are wrongs
mixed with the highs
as well as the lows

Do you ever think to yourself
Today's the day I'm taken me out

A premonition some may say
Where death takes your hand and skips away

From a let loose clue to an urgent need
To watch your back, to pay it heed

Where you feel you're in the firing line
Crossed haired in deaths deadly sight

What little hair that you have left
Stands up straight on the back of your neck

So that it will come as no surprise
You're at the end of your demise

Which is why I ask of you
Could this be the day all this comes true...

far to long now
we've let somehow
rotten fruit stay on the vine

and even those that fell
still have a smell
that hasn't dissipated with time

now we seem to find
while the outside hides
the stench that is within

where it takes its toll
mind, body, soul
the plans and schemes of man

what sometimes starts out right
you never think it might
end up going bad

but such is life
when the rot that's on the vine
is all that you have left

bitter fruit
starts at the root
and with what you fertilize

time will take its toll
on this, americas darkened soul
as it withers up and dies

I went down to the hardware store
Took a jar of change along
Found the isle that sold the rope
Made my way back home

Waited till my family went to bed
I feel like an awful dad
Tip-toed my way down the hall
Took the rope from out the bag

I passed by each of the kids rooms
Sweet angels in their sleep
I wonder in the morning
What they will think of me

Then right there quite knowingly
Was my 60 inch T.V.
Glaring back at me
I felt weak in the knees

As I tied the T.V. up
I tried to keep the noises down
I struggled way too much
Knew I should have bought a lighter brand

I finally made it to the street
Tossed it into the waiting trunk
If a cop happens to pull me over
I'll spill my guts on what I've done

Where as he will shake my hand
Call me an outstanding citizen
Might even give me an escort
Him and all of his cop friends

I'll drive to the tallest bridge
Where I will not hesitate
To toss it off the edge
Into a watery grave

Then on the ride back home
I'll reflect on what I did
And what I did was this
I saved myself, my wife, my kids

I also thought you might feel the same
After the reading of this poem
So I took some extra change
And I bought some extra rope

I can be there late tonight
Parked by the curb out front
The car will be in gear and running
With the open waiting trunk

We will never understand the reason
If we only focus on this life
Or the purpose of God and the plans that he's got
For the good of all mankind

If we only see daily mounting troubles
And not the Glory that's soon to come
That God set aside when his son came to die
Offering that free gift to everyone

While some gladly take, others seal their own fate
Judging themselves apart from God's Love
Setting all of the blame on the God who loves them
Thinking they know when they clearly don't

In speaking those words they just add to the curse
An eternity of Hell fire and brimstone
Because somehow they think for them to believe
They first must give everything up

No way could they know the treasures bestowed
For those who die to themselves
Giving all that they have to what forever lasts
Forsaking everything else

We never will understand the reason
If we only focus on today
Instead of what's to come in the heavenly relm
While what we have here quickly passes away

How many...

Live on past mistakes
Afraid to give it all away
Thinking maybe if they do
They'll have nothing to hold to

How many...

Of us draw the line
Stepping over time after time
Losing out on what is real
Focused more on how we feel

How many...

See the wrong displayed
Then turn and look the other way
Never dare to get involved
Yet blaming others for their faults

How many...

Of us talk the talk
Yet all in all don't walk the walk
Holding to that age old truth
Do as I say not as I do

How many...