Oh my, oh me
A Bumblebee
Just flew up my nose

And to think
This weird feeling
Has nowhere else to go

Can't hear a word
My eyes are blurred
And my brain it tickles

Stinging me
In my memory
Leaving me with little

From the inside
It passes by
Bumblebee on cruise

Which has my head
Thinking that
All is buzzing loose

Then with joy I hear
Flew out my ear
That was the strangest feeling

I have ever had
Inside my head
Besides my normal daily dealings

There's a bus with four flats in the front yard
Greyhound written on it's side
Wondering how in the world it got there
And where in the world it was I was last night

It has all of it's blinkers a flashing
With the radio blaring loud
I'm getting a tad bit worried here
As it's slowing drawing a crowd

How lucky is it that it missed
My above ground swimming pool out front
Which I know would do better in the back yard
But it was to much trouble to move all the junk

As soon as the cobwebs clear my head
And my eyes cease their interpretive dance
I do what any red blooded American citizen would
And proceed to remove all evidence

I wish it is that I could remember
What it was that had gone on
From the looks inside the greyhound
It really must have been quite fun

The night had to involve Major Rock Stars
The way inside the bus was wreaked
If I didn't know any better I'd think
That Keith Moon had come back from the dead

The back window was smashed wide open
On the ground lay a big screen T.V.
Hard to believe but it was still running
With breaking news on channel 3

There I was in all of my glory
Whooping and hollering on top of the bus
Riding through downtown with lasso in hand
Like I was a cowboy rustling up some grub

I knew it wouldn't be long now
Before the Authorities came looking for me
Even though my head was still full of mud
I had to think lighting fast on my feet

So I jumped into the drivers position
And into first gear I slammed
Drove the bus straight into the junk of the backyard
And never saw that Greyhound again

I am a page
Inside a dusty book

Easy to read
Line by line
But a whole paragraph
Might blow your mind

Part tear stained
Definitely dog eared

Easily able
To put me down
Knowing where I am at
When you come back around

I am a page
With lots to say

At times
I make perfect sense
But on that front
You still take a chance

Coffee stained
Slightly torn page

Many flaws
But easy to see
Through it all
Well worth the read

if grass were blue
and sky was green
in the oceans open field
i'd float in dreams
to the outer banks
of in between
under a chartreuse sun
in waves of tangerine

as pink dolphins*
come together as one
and sing out loud
to the purple sirens song
near the jagged rock
where the sailors warn
of the changing colors
of the coming storm

i'd still think of you
as if grass were blue
on the changing tide
of the oceans hue
as i live by
what i thought i knew
with sky's of green
*and grass of blue

In my ruby red shoes I click my heels
Take out my golden pen
Through transcendental meditation, raise my heart rate up
Putting my head in a cosmic spin

Conjure up a darkened mood
Then brighten it a bit
Oh I almost forgot for luck
I go outside and spit

With a touch of genius (I don't mind saying)
I lay down my first amazing line
Pour over it stroke by brilliant stroke
Then erase it half a dozen times

I go back and rearrange the first line I wrote
Knowing the cosmos would be safer that way
I know because the universe stands on edge
With every word that I display

As I analyze my finished work
Dissecting it line by wonderful line
This time I'm sure like every time before
Another "Masterpiece" is mine

Then I notice the one misplaced word
That changes the entire meaning of what I had to say
I think to myself...Ahhh, "What The Hey!"
Then I go and post it anyway

The trouble I find
Most often with time
Is it keeps on ticking
Tocking it's bite

Taking you out
Without much thought
Through the daily grind
And nightly bumps

All the burning hoops
Time sets on fire
Says it's okay
But we know it's a liar

Never slowing down
Where a man can catch his breath
Till you make your exit
... Stage Left

The trouble I find
Most often with time
Is it keeps on ticking
Tocking it's bite

When Death comes to claim me as his latest victim
When he comes to take me by the hand
I just pray it won't be while I'm sleeping
He needs to come and face me like a man

Maybe while I'm standing on the train tracks
Or on the beach staring down a tidal wave
On a plane that's going down two miles up above the ground
Giving me time to review the decisions I have made

Not saying I'm looking forward to his coming
And I certainly would cheat him if I could
Don't get the notion in your head I'm looking forward to my death
I want to make that perfectly understood

I still prefer to go out in a blaze of glory
Perhaps a fiery crash out on the interstate
Where it is that I can see Death as he comes for me
Don't want to be surprised by this blind date

So when Death comes to claim me as his latest victim
When he comes around to take me to the dance
I just pray it won't be while I'm sleeping
He needs to come and face me like a man

The guy at the diner failed to mustard Jake's hot dog
As he was eating it he felt as cold as a marsh frog
Yucky was the flavor without condiment
Chomping it down, a tasteless torment

As the fries on his plate were doing the backstroke
Having a jolly swim day in a puddle of oil
Asked for industrial towels to wipe up the slick
Before it caught wind of the Environmentalists

A complaint has been filed about their bill of fare
Nothing served over the counter would we wish to share
Placards will be shown over the Diner's facade
Warning customers of this ecological disregard

They won't water down their words like the Diner their drinks
Before you enter in you'll stop and think
About the Blue Plate Special with Salmonella on the side
Do you prefer your Botulism broiled or would you like it fried

Gastronomic delights such as they will make you pay
A stint in the infirmary is sure to come your way
With a tossed salad of pain, relievers, and antibiotics
Which none of the above will be deliciously exotic

If you can take the cooks looks and stomach the smells
Along with the service that's slower than snails
There's normally a coupon in the daily mail
Buy one get one free!
Ahhhh.....what the hell

I'm at the door knocking
Hoping she'll let me in
She cracks it ever so slightly
Wearing only a grin

She beckons me forward
Like a good maitre'd
Sits me on the sofa
Then proceeds to wait on me

Serving up a blue eyed special
With blond on the side
I might even splurge
And order desert tonight

Just a little game
My wife and I play
I think she prefers the waitresses
But me...I enjoyed the nurse yesterday

You can have the days beginning
You can bring it to the end
You can clear out of the middle
Take it all with you my friend

You can swing from forever after
Relish in the here and now
Remove all of the laughter
Melt down the golden cow

You can pack up all belongings
Take it all away in tow
The only thing I ask of you
Is leave my Barry Manilow

You can take the sun from out its cradle
Remove the stars at night
Set to dry the gentle rains of spring
Take what you can of life

Feel free to stop the world from turning
Back it up if you must
Take my old 50's Chevy with you
Leaving behind the rust

Take the shore from its kissing of the sea
Lift the beggar from off his knees
You can pretty much do anything
Just leave my Barry Manilow with me

There's whispering among the animals
They've come up with a master plan
As soon as darkness falls down upon
They're taking the place of man

This is years now in the making
To late to call the plan quits
For the comforts inside they are aching
The rebellion has arrived...this is it

First those that have been domesticated
Will slip a little summum, summum in masters tea
The shackles that have held our furry friends down so long
Will be loosened and they'll finally be free

The doors will be swung wide open
Letting their long lost relatives in
It's been years since they've been able to party like this
Gentlemen...let the festivities begin

All the people in the world when they do wake up
Will be doing it underneath open skies
The only question that will run through their minds is
Who, What, Where, and Why

While the animals will be inside frustrated
Where the 24 hour weather channel is on
Because it's nearly impossible to change channels
On the remote when you have no thumbs

Polly Urethane
Girl with a peculiar name
Born into the oddest of times

She walks through the fields
Picking flowers at will
Tying them in bundles of rhyme

She then takes to the street
Corner of Humble and Meek
And gives flowers to the societally blind

Polly Urethane
The girl with a peculiar name
Looks at life and just has to laugh

Polly she knows
The silly world never slows
Here and gone in a flash

Polly she tries
To take it in stride
Though at times she doesn't understand

She's here to save all that's right
To the tune of delight
Played by a number nine piece magical band

Marching Main Street
Near the corner of Humble and Meek
Where Polly stands, flowers in hand

Polly Urethane
Girl with a peculiar name
Born into the oddest of times

A gaggle of Mad Scientists
Shrunk me down in size
Placed me in a tiny syringe
Injected me into a woman's mind

They gave me special instructions
While there to  look around
Report back to them immediately
All the mystery's to be found

I entered into this giant room
Dozens of doors surrounding the sides
I believe to be the main control center
I am a man in a woman's mind
(Wait a minute...that doesn't sound right)

I skip the rooms RESENTMENT, JEALOUSY,and GOSSIP
No need to open those
I've seen what they can do to a person
Best to keep them locked and forever closed

I come to the door labeled ***
Being a man I try the **** first
Of course it's locked so I knocked and knocked
Go figure, there was no answer...

Before I realized what I was doing
I opened the door labeled NAGGING
All my ears hear is Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah
What in the world was I even thinking

I may be crazy but I ain't stupid
I also pass by the door I'M UGLY, I'M FAT
Why can't women see what the rest of us see
The inner beauty that they all seem to have

Right next door is the room that holds her feelings
I've never been so scared in my life
I do this in the name of science
And for the better of all mankind

As soon as the door swings open
I immediately break down and cry
I've got all of these mixed emotions
And I don't even really know why

I'm not sure if science was ready for this
As I climb out the ear canal blocked by a phone
Not much that a man can do in there
Best to leave well enough alone...

The past I can't remember
The future I can't see
The here and now if I think about
Only confuses me

Where does that tend leave me
Besides a limbo state of mind
If I dig to deep inside of me
Afraid of what I'll find

I get out my shovel anyways
And if curiosity kills the cat
I'll toss it in the hole I dug
Then that will be the end of that

Because the past is long forgotten
With a future yet to come
I'll just take the hear and now
And continue playing dumb

I picked up a poem on the side of the road
It'd had its thumb out for some time
I kindly asked which way I should go
All that it said was just drive

So we drove along admiring the scenery
As it spoke to me in riddles and rhymes
Talking of all the places that it had been
And how it was enjoying its time

This poem had seen its share of exotic places
And fallen in love more than once or twice
Around every corner were always new faces
With new situations to put down in line

It brought up a few childhood memories
Some of them happy with some of them sad
A few of them really spoke to me
And I was really thankful for that

After a while we rode on in silence
Both of us enjoying the drive
With me thinking I'm glad I stopped today
And picked this poem up for a ride

The world sometimes to me
Seems like a kitchen sink
With problem dishes piled high to the rim

Clogging up the drain
In the name of placing blame
With no one willing to wash them

Where soon enough we find
We've left the crust to dry
With the ***** secrets that our dishes have

With no way to rinse
And even if we did
There still would be the lingering stench

Leaving them there
Year after year
No one willing to roll up their sleeves

And lend a helping hand
To clean up the mess of man
We've all made in the world's kitchen sink

I sometimes wonder what would happen
If I took a box of colorful crayons
Out back into the garden
And into rows I plant them

Would some grow into rainbows
For all the unloved kids
Who have not had happiness
Shown unto their little eye lids

While others grow into colorful things
Of pinks and blues, yellows and greens
That fill those kids heads up with dreams
Like cotton candy, waterfalls, puppy dogs, and parties

But alas some kids will never know
Of brightly colored festive parades
Without their colorful seedling boxes
Being nourished in magical escapades

So I'll take from the crayons crop
Bring them into town and hand them out
To all the kids that have never known
The beauty that colorful crayons can grow

For in the rainbow's loving care
Kids everywhere will be happy to share
Crayon colors spread all about
A cavalcade of joyfulness that will forever ring out

Charles Bukowski ate my girlfriend
He started with her head
Fiddled with her like finger food
Putty in his hands

Charles Bukowski took my girlfriend
Slapped her hard upside the face
Now she likes it *****
So this poets been replaced

I'd like to say so long Charlie
As far as I'm concerned
You can hit the literary highway
Never to return

Charles Bukowski took my girlfriend
And showed her a good time
As I'm watching from the shallow end
Of my kiddie pool of simple rhyme

Charles Bukowski ate my girlfriend
Chewed her up then spit her out
Now that good for nothing Charlie
Is all she talks about

Could someone please stop this ride
Could someone let me off
I've purchased tickets, paid the price
But failed to count the cost

I'm afraid this fun ride that I'm on
Of rhyme inside my mind
Is stuck on a continuous loop
And I can't get off this time

Or this emotional rollercoaster
As it's picking up in speed
On its madding course with rhyming force
Will keep me pinned down in my seat

I just would like one minute in life
Where I can sit back and relax
Not wandering the house of mirrors
Playing poetic mind games with myself

But this rhyming rhythm beat
Has a power all its own
I believe my mind will be stuck in rhyme
Long after it's closed down...

I asked this child what life is like
Spending the day on their trike
As they peddled hard they peddled fast
Life is like a trike I guess

I asked a boy in his teens
What is life like and what does it mean
He hopped onto his motorbike
And then flew off into the night

I asked someone of middle age
What is it about life that's all the rage
They rolled up the window and drove away
With nothing much about it to say

I asked an old man if he cared to share
What life was like in his wheelchair
He sat for a time with a vacant stare
Then wheeled himself out, going nowhere

I don't know whats in the steps that I take
The tears that I shed
The heavy breaths that I am taking

Nor do I know the direction
The pain in my heart
Is taking me

I don't know whats in the words that I hear
The scene that I see
The weight of the load that I feel

The sky's color
When it finds the place
It hopes to find

I don't know
What to feel, what to see,
What to hear and what to say

I don't know how to pronounce
Any of the words
In the language of love

And I don't know how much further
I can walk this path
Before I fall apart

Here we are midday
With hunger pangs
That feel they need addressing

They're here to stay
Won't go away
Till I've been taught a lesson

With the fact
Of my missed morning snack
I head down to the kitchen

Swing open the pantry door
Right before
I notice something missing

I should have known
The grape jelly again went rouge
Like umpteen times before

You would think in turn
I would have learned
To lock the pantry door

Still it'll be easy to find
As grape can't keep its lid tight
I follow the droplets in no hurry

Knowing it's in the den
In front of the T.V. stand
Cause grape jelly loves watching Maury

Take a chicken
From out the yard
Wring its neck
Until it's not
Put the carcass
In a ***
Filled with water
Boiling hot
Add some spices
Mainly salt
Plus some celery
By the stalk
Pick the bones
From off the bird
Nice and tender
Is the word
Save the juices
I have heard
Common colds
It is the cure
Pick it up
And say bonjour
Lick your fingers
Afterwards

There's a blind man on the corner
That keeps staring at me
As the dog that's sitting by his side
Keeps whispering in his ear

I know their talking about me
Cause the blind man keeps nodding his head
I'm not paranoid or anything
At least I don't think that I am

I keep straining hard to listen
But to many words do I miss
At this very moment
I wish I could read dog lips

As if this couldn't get any stranger
A bus pulls up to the curb
Out steps Wayne Newton
And before he utters a word

He pulls a cat out of his bag
With a sharp chill on the wind
The cat and the dog both hug
They appear to be the best of friends

As if this is not strange enough
The blind man drops the leash
The cat picks it up
As he and the dog skip off down the street
Where they're picked up for jay walking by the Chief of Police

Wayne Newton gave a concert
With the money we paid their bail
When it came time for their release
They were no longer in jail

All there was was a tunnel
With a blank note left behind
Cause everybody knows
Cats and dogs can't write

Last that I heard
They had a Villa in the South of France
Where they took in blind mice
And taught them all how to dance
Which started a new dance craze called
The "Blind Mice Dance Like They Got Ants In Their Pants" Dance

With the turkey out of the way
It's time to do some shop and save
Black Friday...here we go again

I am up at three o'clock
So I'll be at the door on the dot
Shopping like a mad whirlwind

Pulling up to Walmart
Grab myself a fresh shopping cart
For when the doors open up at five

Like a horse out of the gate
Your own fault for being in my way
Just count your blessings that your still alive

Beat the crowds straight to the back
For a little ****** and grab
Gotta have the newest wide screen T.V.

Blue hair had my T.V. in her cart
Took her out with a karate chop
Sorry granny it's either you or me

Next set my sights on this kid
With no clue of what he did
Or how he ended splayed out on the floor

In the remote car shopping isle
And it may take that kid awhile
To remember who, what, when, or what for

I next wildly veer off to the right
For that set of Ginsu knives
That I use to hold back the forming crowd

With it being the only set left
I Samurai it over my head
Which  quickly clears out the entire Ginsu isle

With my shopping about done
I sweep shelves into my cart on the run
Figure I can sort it all out later

At times it's hard to pick and choose
With the attitude of I hate to lose
Anyways I figure they owe me for all my labor

When I get to the front of the store
There's bookoo bunches of crowds galore
I've never seen such a long drawn out line

So I clear the path in front of me
Taking people off at the knees
They'll surely think twice the next time

Before getting in my way
And my day of shop and save
Already planning for next year my friend

Satisfied I head for the door
But I tell you not before
I turn and say Happy Holidays and Good Will Towards Men!
Cause that's just the way I am...

I stand on the promises made
To sin no longer am its slave
For me His all is all He gave

"In this I have to thank My Savior"

For me is why He came to die
For me is why He sacrificed
For a lowly sinner such as I

"So in this I have to thank My Savior"

As He hung upon that tree
All the while with thoughts of me
Him being my greatest need

"For in this I have to thank My Savior"

On the third day He arose
Drawing deaths sting to a close
All in Heaven rejoice for they know

"Why in this I have to thank My Savior"

In Him I fully put my trust
To follow no matter what the cost
For He has found what once was lost

**"And in this I have to thank My Savior"

Is it possible to get another shadow
Cause mine no longer shadows me
It went away the day,
you said you couldn't stay
There was no brightness left so it had to leave

Is it possible to get another heart
Cause mine no longer beats inside of me
It feels no need to carry on,
since you took a part of it and gone
It's done bled all it intends to bleed

Is it possible to get another soul
Cause all mine does is ache inside of me
With an empty loneliness,  
ever since the day you left
And to think it used to be so carefree

Is it possible to let go of love
When I can't rid myself of your memory
Of the time we spent,
and all to me it meant
And how that now is all that I can see

I remember patty cake
I remember peak-a-boo
I remember all the things
You and I, we used to do
It doesn't seem that long ago
How far back it's hard to know

Oh baby, I wish you could see
What your love it really means to me
You may leave the nest and travel far
But your never going to leave my heart

The questions that you used to ask
Scratching them from off the wall
The answers that I seemed to have
To far gone to count them all
It doesn't seem so long ago
When you and I were in the know

Oh baby, can you tell me how
Your ever going to listen to me now
There's another man roaming in your life
Your no longer in your daddy's eyes

You held my hand, that was your world
The words I heard were "Daddy's Girl"
All that we did is now hindsight
Cause children grow up over night
It doesn't seem so long ago
With all the things that we now know

Oh baby, can you tell me when
Your going to need me at the plate again
When life steps up and throws a curve
*Cause you will always be your "Daddy's Girl"

How much further
You're really not sure
That you can go on
Alone in the world

Sealing your fate
In this day to day
Business as usual
Keeping your heart locked away

Before you go through
Doing all that you do
Here's a bit of truth
Someone loves you

There's no reason at all
To give up on hope
The one that loves you
Might not yet know

And like you they
Feel the same way
Waiting for you
To make their day

To tell the truth
What you're going through
You'll both get the news
That someone loves you

I met a man in a playful tune
Who had a thought I thought I knew
He said to me goo goo g'joob
Does anything sound more real to you

We were out standing in a field
With fresh strawberries dancing at our heels
In a moment a bit to surreal
Continue on Bungalow Bill

We moved past a four man line
As we slipped into dream #9
Being there for the benefit of Mr. Kite
When Lucy and her diamonds fell from the sky

A day in the life left tragically
Our mystery tour on a yellow submarine
The revolution of love has now left the building
In a puddle of memories out on the street

She held your hand to comfort you
The color of love now the color of blue
Till the bitter end you sang passion true
Goodbye to you Goo goo g'joob...


R.I.P.
John Lennon 10/9/40-12/8/80

Both Freddy and Frieda Flea
Had an itch and felt the need

To leave their home on Beagle back
So they packed their bags while Fido napped

They'd heard magical tales of the Big Top
Since their larva days on top the pup

They weren't here this time to clown around
As they found themselves circus bound

They hitched a ride in a hobos beard
Too no telling who knows where

But one thing that is perfectly clear
Both those fleas are outta here

Along the way they purchased needs
In a market place made just for fleas

Like underwear and mint toothpaste
Soap on a Rope to wash their face

Plus deodorant, quite a bit
You need a lot of it when you've got 6 pits

The rumor mill can be very mean
Fleas after all are fairly clean

After a day of personal shopping
It was all aboard for more beard hopping

Riding that hobo from coast to coast
In this their new hairy chateau

As circuses go they started their own
Advertising on the hobos back cause he never turns around

Over time their acts they've modified
As the flaming hoops set the hobos beard on fire

Now with Freddy as Ring Master and Frieda on trapeze
They are the Greatest Show On Earth, at least among fleas

I don't need you to be somebody else
All I need is you to be yourself
Once we have figured that part out
That's what I need from you

I don't need you in some fancy dress
That highlights your femme finesse
More of you is more or less
What I need from you

I don't need you to have the perfect words to say
Or with me a need to hesitate
I need the given before the give away
If that's okay with you

I need to feel your heartbeat on my chest
To hold the little of what little's left
To hear the lasting words as they're said
I love you too,  is what I need from you

I have this watch I wear
That gives the time of day
It also gives the time at night
Because the face illuminates

One thing that it doesn't
That I wish it would
Is remind me of the time
That I should spend with you

You see I get so busy Lord
I barely have time to think
Living this life day to day
As if it were on the brink

If I continue at this pace
I'm not sure that I'll survive
Is this what they meant when I heard them say
This is the time of your life

So I took the battery out of my watch
To remind me every hour of every day
To stop what it is I'm doing
And take the time to knell and pray

There are some things you will never know
Unless some things you learn to let go

And some things that you'll never find
Unless you take the chance of life

How will you know if you can swim
If you never try and dive right in

Or find you're not afraid of heights
If the mountain you never climb

How will you ever learn to fly
If you never reach out for the sky

And how will you ever know of love
If you first don't give some things up

How will you ever know this life
If you don't give it a try

And how will you know the pleasure of it
If before you start you've already quit

I just got off the phone with my Act
We're going to try and get together
But before we can achieve that major feat
I desperately need to check the weather

Cause if it is to cloudy
My Act won't dare go outside
And if the sun is shining to bright
My Act says that he's too white

Don't even mention raining
My Act hates when he gets wet
Says it takes to long to dry himself off
Plus he could shrivel up till there's nothing left

And if the temperature is too hot or too cold
That could really toss the batter
Guess when it comes to me and my Act
We'll have to get together later

The argument of Christ
Has been with us since he stepped in time
We can spill out all our favorite lines
You show me your belief, I'll show you mine

But what belief do you hold to
The one that warms and comforts you?
That goes against the word of truth
It's in His plan to challenge you

Take to the one that tears apart
Your inner being and burns your heart
Then you will find and recognize
The one true life that is the One True Christ

With eyes turned up to the sky
In hopes to find that piece of pie
How many years of blood sweat and tears
Have you not yet made it out of here

Always asking for advice
When given saying that can't be right
All you've got, spinning like a top
Waiting for the ball to drop

You'll do this till the day you die
Wondering what is wrong with life
Feel the heat moving towards defeat
Press rewind and then repeat

Growing accustomed to the craziness
Pour more butane on the list
Stoke the fire, fan the flames higher
Situation is getting dire

How many times have you raised your hands
Surrendering over to life's demands
Always hoping for a change
Just this side of deranged  

Moving along with the crowd
To the humming of the vacant sound
Religiously you find your seat
Press rewind and then repeat