i wish
my eyes
could clearly
see
what
my tender
heart
believes
we'd
survive
if we
relied
on
the love
that beats
inside

as a rule of thumb
more often than not
on many an occasion
i don't pay attention
advice for free
whether or not you need
...that would be me

mind that's unmade
on any given day
where sometimes the thinking
is the main thing that's missing
where thoughts that are deep
are too hard to keep
...that would be me

where rumors flow
into the unknown
release or catch
thoughts that are hatched
way beyond reach
never a need
...that would be me

With the turkey out of the way
It's time to do some shop and save
Black Friday...here we go again

I am up at three o'clock
So I'll be at the door on the dot
Shopping like a mad whirlwind

Pulling up to Walmart
Grab myself a fresh shopping cart
For when the doors open up at five

Like a horse out of the gate
Your own fault for being in my way
Just count your blessings that you're still alive

Beat the crowds straight to the back
For a little ****** and grab
Gotta have the newest wide screen T.V.

Blue hair had my T.V. in her cart
Took her out with a karate chop
Sorry granny it's either you or me

Next set my sights on this kid
With no clue of what he did
Or how he ended splayed out on the floor

In the remote car shopping isle
And it may take that kid awhile
To remember who, what, when, or what for

I next wildly veer off to the right
For that set of Ginsu knives
That I use to hold back the forming crowd

With it being the only set left
I Samurai it over my head
Which  quickly clears out the entire Ginsu isle

With my shopping about done
I sweep shelves into my cart on the run
Figure I can sort it all out later

At times it's hard to pick and choose
With the attitude of I hate to lose
Anyways I figure they owe me for all my labor

When I get to the front of the store
There's bookoo bunches of crowds galore
I've never seen such a long drawn out line

So I clear the path in front of me
Taking people off at the knees
They'll surely think twice the next time

Before getting in my way
And my day of shop and save
Already planning for next year my friend

Satisfied I head for the door
But I tell you not before
I turn and say Happy Holidays and Good Will Towards Men!
Cause that's just the way I am...

Three hundred sixty-five
Broken days, wasted nights
I've spent on the road without you

Twelve lonely months
Away from home I've been gone
When I'll be back I haven't a clue

Twenty four hours
The only thing in my power
Is taking it day by day

Hour by waking hour
Life is only sour
Color a deeper shade of gray

Minute by minute
Counting every second
Until I'm back home again

Three hundred sixty-five
Broken days, wasted nights
Is no way for a man to live

I hear my father's voice
Everytime I speak
Left with little choice
That he's a part of me
I hear it in the slang
My Southern nasel twang
In everything I say
As I venture through my day

When I look into the mirror
It's my father's face I see
The older that I get
Looking back at me
I see the many lines
He had in his sly smile
The kindness that he held
When I gazed into his eyes

I also hear his laugh
In the jokes I tell
When the aftermath
Doesn't go so well
Trying to get the crowd
To smile I still try
The way my father did
As he made his way through life

I always feel his love
From beyond the grave
The preciousness in the gifts
That my father gave
Every single piece
Of his memory
That my father placed
With love inside of me

He keeps a locket of her hair
Folded up in an envelope
From the days she was there
Before that's all she wrote

He pulls it out from time to time
Finding time to reminisce
About the time they shared a life
Along with a kiss

And just as fast as all that
He slides it in the envelope
Thinking back to the time
Before that's all she wrote

I spent my early life
Looking out from behind
The chain link fence on the turkey farm

There they fed me right
Fattened up my thighs
After all, what could be the harm

If it was up to me
I would never leave
It's where I prefer to spend my years

But alas will come the day
When all good turkey's have to say
Arrivederci...I am outta here

          I was born to be a Butter Ball
          Unlike those sloppy pigs that live next door
          To be a tender turkey is my call
          And all you want to do is eat me
          Yes, you wanna eat me

They just took Turkey Jack
To the shed out back
Where we never heard from him again

Just like yesterday
With my friend Turkey Dave
Strange they haven't messed with Turkey Slim

Am I the next in line
Could this here be my time
My head placed on the chopping block

As I say my goodbyes
To all the gals and guys
I gobble to Mary Lou as an after thought

          I was born to be a Butter Ball
          So delicious they're coming back for more
          Tenderized to the very core
          All they want to do is eat me
          
          I was born to be a Butter Ball
          A slap in the face to the Honey Ham
          To be a tinder turkey is my call
          Heavy on the gravy with a side of yams

Now that you know my tale
I hope I told it well
Enjoy this day with your family and your friends

So remember then
Don't leave the stuffing in
And dinner will go the way that it was planned

          I was born to be a Butter Ball
          The highest honor of them all
          Into the open oven I must fall
          Cause all you want to do is eat me
          Yes, all you wanna do is eat me

one fine day
it all came true
like a piece of cake
every i love you
every knowing nod
every gentle nudge
as you count the cost
on every thought of love

one fine day
all the day could do
was to make its way
through its daily loop
with one end up
and one end down
being simple enough
with love around

one fine day
out of the blue
life ran its course
on a whistles tune
on a gravel road
under a quarter moon
to the simple truth
of i love you

The blacktop to these city streets
Has so much to say
Daily trampled under feet
As the conversation goes both ways

Standing at the crosswalk
Always in a hurry
As I watch the corner coffee shop patrons
Seem to leisure with no worries

While walking along the sidewalk
I hear a voice wish me good morning
Along with a word of warning
About the afternoon storm that's coming

From the giving to the taking
All that's left to say
Is these city streets take more from me
Than I could ever give away

Same routine day after day
Where left always seems right
As I make my way onto Main
The Broadway comes to mind

I just bought a turkey
In dire need of tenderize
Also a quick summer thaw
As this chick's as cold as ice

Must have froze it in the tundra as
I dive deep into the internet
Where it's got me wondering
Why I myself didn't think of this

It says to tie up both its legs
With a nylon stringy thingy
Hey! Get that out your head!
This ain't nothing *****!

Hook the turkey to the bumper
And take it for a ride
I watched it from my rear view
And mirror on the side

I watched it twirl and tumble
I watched it twist and shout
I watched it as it changed its shape
From inside into out

I thought I heard it gobble
As it bounced itself along
Checking progress at every red light
Tenderized...yes, but not yet thawed

The roads must be colder this year
Then at first, I thought
I hop back into my jalopy
For a few more jaunts around the block

I make it back to my place
Thinking all is perfect all is well
Untie the turkey, if that's what it is
It's a little hard to tell

Now with that part of the preparation done
With the turkey and I safe back home
I plop it into the waiting oven
And gently turn it on

Here we are a few hours later
As the conversations and good times begin
Sitting around the dinner table
My guests all marvel at my hen

There's only one slight question
And they asked me if I knew
I reply...why yes that is white meat
It's just a tad bit bruised

i know where the path is
and where it leads
she says...
and how the garden grows
in its search of hope

i have seen the sunrise
in a mothers eyes  
she says...
and the moon reflect
in her smile

i have heard the calling in
the blusterous wind
she says...
and have taken what i have
to task

if there is any more
it's not of this world
she says...
for i have stood the edge
of its ledge

i have seen inside the dream  
and what it means  
she says...
and it's not in what you have
or what you've kept

but what you give away
in what is left
she says...
in the seeds you sow
as you move along the way

this tear
starts here
deep within my heart
the loneliest part
keeping clear
the pathway for my tear

makes its way
to my face
no other way to go
but through the lump in my throat
at a steady pace
as this tear finds its way

into the chilled air
free and clear
then down along
a path well worn
this tear
ends here

Can we at this Thanksgiving time
Put all our differences aside
And not worry about who did what or when
Coming together as the family of man

All sit around the table
As we pass the plate
Saying as
We're also giving grace

Forgiving those
That have done us wrong
While asking them
To forgive us

Being thankful for
Every breath we take
As we realize
It's all for heaven's sake

Giving praise
Every single day
Knowing how easily
It can all be taken away

Can we at this Thanksgiving time
Put all our differences aside
And not worry about who did what or when
Coming together as the family of man

You find yourselves playing house
When what you really need is a home
On this path, you'll soon enough find out
That you're both alone

You've yet to find a compromise
Of how this all should go
You'd be wise to take the time
To build yourselves a home

Starting with a load of bricks
Each one made of love
Held tightly with concrete
That is heavily mixed up with trust

Have windows that open up to hope
Doors swinging wide in welcoming
Love should be the chime you choose
To complement the doorbells ring

When you take this house you've created
And make it your home sweet home
Proud that you both have made it
Never once will you be alone

i keep my hopes and dreams

inside a paper sack

i pull them out when i feel the need

the ones that are stale i put them back

those i take down to the shore

and toss them in the sea

the fresh ones like i said i keep

and take them home with me

to pull out when i feel the need

After all these many carnivore years
You can call it guilt or you can call it fear
I've made up my mind to decide
I'm going vegan this November time

So I broke down hard and read some books
Heard some tapes on what it took
From veggies steamed to veggies raw
From beans of green to yellow squash

As my nightly dreams were all filled with meat
I pushed back hard with collard greens
But still had no clue of what to do
With a turkey substitute

And that is when a friend came in
Who Tofu's the line at turkey time
So I read more books and heard more tapes
On Tofu fried, boiled, broiled, and baked

Opening up my kitchen to fine cuisine
Minus the best part...that being meat
As I promised myself I can make this work
My Tofurkey  would be the finest in edible art

I had bought  my Tofu by the pound
Lucky for me it is pliable
As I stretched and pulled and pulled and stretched
Until I had something that looked like a head

With my artistic abilities seriously in doubt
I'm pretty sure what I conjured was the head of a cow
So I pulled and stretched and stretched and pulled
No ones going to call me an abstract fool

As I bring to boil the "Rodin" juices in me
And baste at my skills repeatedly
Where I come up with a turkey, giblets and all
And just for good measure I gobble a turkey call

Of course cooking the thing is another road and
I sadly lost Tofurkey 1, 2, and 3 in the explosion
When 4 hit the score I invited my friends
Whose friendship with them will take time to mend

Just because a turkey looks like a turkey, don't mean that it is
I'm now learning all this while I clean up the mess
As forks went to the mouths at the very same time
So did the retching along with the crying

But in a month they'll forget this entire sordid ordeal
When they get the invites for my Christmas holiday meal
With my time in the books and tapes I will spend
Looking forward to  Christmas and a delicious soy bean ham

As you're starting out this life
Being taught the wrong from right
By those close to you inside the home

But then again adolescence kicks in
Where the troubles all begin
As you start to believe everything you think you know

And you can't just be told
By all those old-fashioned fools
Who are clearly way past their dawn

Soon enough though you'll know
The more row's you *** in your growth
You should have gone and left your well enough alone

You can fill your silly head
With what you think you know is best
But it is mostly talk with little show

Where one day you're sure to see
We all must pay for our on keep
In the throwing of life's dog a bone

And those that helped to raise you
Know a lot more than you knew
You learn now that you're grown

You finally find you realize
In the wisdom of hindsight
You should have gone and left well enough alone

Don't get me wrong I do love myself
It's my selfies that give me hell
When I think I've clicked the perfect pic
20 shots later that's still not it

I take the filter remove the lines
How many lines can one man find
It's an age-old problem I've been told
Why does the camera make me look old

I've got the angle I've got the smile
The perfect lighting set on the dial
Hold my phone back to where I can snap
As my phone once again makes me look like crap

Always thinking I have the perfect pic
20 shots later that's still not it
Oh, don't get me wrong I do love myself
It's just my selfies that are giving me hell

There's a love hate relationship
Between you and alcohol
You love the feeling you get from it
But hate its constant calls

It's become a daily battle
This long drawn out desire
When you say no way will I drink today
And again it makes you out the liar

It all started out so simple
Having social drinks with friends
Where the only time you drew that line
Would be on the weekends

But stress comes along in many forms
As you find sips take off the edge
Soon enough though it won't leave you alone
A little secret the bottle seems to have kept

And this battle you are fighting
Some days afraid that you might win
Where there is no denying
Deep down inside you'll miss your friend

Where there's a love hate relationship
Between you and alcohol
You love the feeling you get from it
But hate the way it too often calls

I've seen them come
I've seen them go
I've seen the needle
Take another soul
I've seen the vacuum
I've seen the hole
I've seen things
I'd rather not know

I've seen them beg
I've seen them cry
I've seen them lose
I've seen them die
I've seen broken mothers
Wonder why
I've seen it all
Through tear-filled eyes

I've seen the needle
I've seen the cost
I've seen it all
Through thickened walls
I've seen men when
They take the fall
Get up again
Then do more

I've seen them do
Without a doubt
I've seen them cut
Their clientele
Treat them worse
Then they would a dog
Send them to hell
With Fentanyl

I've seen them come
I've seen them go
I've seen them beg
For another dose
And when there's nothing
Left to own
I've seen them die
All alone

The turkey's on
Old man Johnson's farm
All wised up this year

Logging on
To Amazon
About mid November

With Halloween out of the way
They were bound to save
On the items they would need

Which worked out great
Cause all they could afford to pay
Was in scratched up chicken feed

The pigs helped in
The ordering
As it's a well known fact

That being turkey's
They're always in a hurry
And ain't nobody got time for that

They saved up extra seed
For quick delivery
When you're on the cliffs edge dancing

Coming down to it
This being life or death
There's no need to take chances

In the nick of time
The package arrived
On the day required

The fateful day
Known to our hero's as shake and bake
November 23rd

On that morning when
Old man Johnson then
With ax in hand stepped outside

Where he tried to think
Had he ever seen
So many cows in his life

In between the moo's
He heard a gobble or two
Which in itself is very strange

Plus the Amazon bill
For umpteenth costume cows
He just can't quite explain

There is nothing in my heart
That a good dose of love won't cure
Curing that and so much more
This nothing in my heart

There is nothing in my mind
That will take me to the heights
Like a dose of love will every time
Inside this lonely mind

There is nothing in my soul
That can take away this cold
Like love does in a daily dose
This nothing in my soul

Nothing in my heart
Nothing in my mind
Nothing in my soul
That a dose of love won't cure

My shadow these days it seems
Does more things than me
In and out, about town
Follows the feet of excitement around

Hooks itself to other folks
Follows close like a puppy dog
Happily wagging its blackened tail
Leaving sunshine in its trail

Having fun, the best of times
Showing off in the brightest lights
Sliding floors and climbing walls
My shadow seems to do it all

If it had a brain would it think
Of the times it spent with me
The fun we had in broad daylight
Back to front, side by side

But alas now it seems
My shadow has no use for me
That it would come to this for me to know
My shadow appears to have been just a loan

You're betting me
and I'm betting you
I say we're done
you say we're through
It's a good bet
that we both will lose
Cause you're in love with me
and I'm in love with you

We go through this
every now and then
You say that's it
and I say Amen
You've had enough
I say we're done
But then remember that
we're both in love

When throwing stuff
we duck and run
As our holding glue
daily comes undone
But thank you very much
we patch it up
All because
we're both in love

So place your bet
and I'll place mine too
That we're not done
no, we're not through
Being a good bet
that we two won't lose
Cause you're in love with me
and I'm in love with you

The left hand and the right hand
Know exactly who they are
No body in-between them
Can keep these hands apart

With their favorite activity
Being generally the clap
And when they get tired of that
They rest folded in a lap

Otherwise, they're into mischief
As idle hands will do
Twirling thumbs can be fun
But not for these two

When the left decides to rest
And the right-hand goes to think
It finds itself a chiseled chin
Then hangs out underneath

Where it comes up with 10 point plans
To help each other out
5 for the left 5 for the right
So neither does lose count

Number 1 mainly on the list
Is to continue to strong arm
And keep up with the bodybuilding
Before their body buys the farm

After that, they continue with
Their intricate 10 point plan
Which is going quite swimmingly
Between the left and the right hand

You've heard tell the road to hell
Is paved with good intentions
I've been on that crew and so have you
Do I even need to mention

I've held the measuring tape as you paved the way
The blacktop hot with sorrow
As we looked away in our Ray-Ban shades
Saying we'll worry about that tomorrow

Mile after mile pouring doubt
Onto the hardened surface
With our best guess, thinking we've got this
Life down pat with purpose

Not realizing that what our pavement lacks
Is a heart that truly listens
One reason we can't help that the road to hell
Is paved with good intentions

I met an old man
On my way out of town
The old man is me
If you don't understand

And the way out of town
Is the death of myself
Talking in metaphors
Makes it easier to deal

I turn and I find
Myself on the ridge
Looking back on the streets
Of when I was a kid

I turn round in time
As time turns around
With the old man in me
On his way out of town

i find myself in the middle
in what i'm going through
with the left wrong, the right too far gone
misconstrued attitudes
raising hands of you bet we can
in everything they do
someone must be lying
to tell you the truth

i find myself in the middle
where it gets hard to breath
as both sides of this conundrum
put a squeeze on me
with tear filled eyes i see both sides
are beyond reasonable belief
i find myself in the middle
is the perfect fit for me

Tickling of the fancy
Tainting of the tongue
They'll have you 100 proof
Before the day is done
Fill your mind with hatred
All in the name of love

Deadman
When will you wake up

Hail for you a taxi
Giving you a ride
Windows black front and back
So you can't see outside
Yes, Virginia, there is a clause
A case of do or die

Deadman
When will you open up your eyes

They have you follow orders
Marching to the beat
Zombiefied look in your eyes
Shuffling of the feet
It's hard to see the truth
When you don't see the need

Deadman
When will you believe

Hello, have you met me
Mr. Addictive Personality
Give me something to cling to
And I'll use and abuse it all the way through

Be it good or be it bad
No matter the habit on which I latch
I'll take it out to the extreme
Until it about ruins me

Focusing all the hours I have
Until I have no time left
At first glance it is all a thrill
Like that of a new car smell

I'll run out round up and down
6 feet deep into the ground
Until the habit over time
Starts to rot my heart and mind

Give me something to cling to
And I'll use and abuse it all the way through
Say goodbye to my release
Mr. Addictive Personality

We all dream of the past
Like it's the best that we had
Nothing in this whole wide world
Can be any better than that

But have you ever stopped in thought
About the kids of today
These right here are the best of times
That they'll look back on and say

It has always been that way
Whether wild or tame
Where everybody always says
Those were the good old days

You can't help but shake your head
The older that you get
You've seen a lot of crazy
But never quite like this

After all it's nothing like
When you yourself were a kid
But remember the kids of today
Will later be saying this

It has always been that way
Whether wild or tame
Where everybody always says
Those were the good old days

Starting out
Starting now
Changing the way
Life's going down
Pull up the roots
As I pull out
I won't allow
This shadows doubt
Paid my dues
For my upkeep
Diver Down
Digging deep
Nothing in life
Is ever free
Even hard times
Don't come cheap
Starting over
At Square One
Hoping to get
Something done
It's not always
That much fun
But something that
Needs to be done

They're out there on the streets
I can see them as I crack my blinds
They're passing by so silently
I'm to freaked to step outside

I know that if they catch me
They'll put me in an imaginary box
And keep me there til midday
Where they'll have my brains for lunch

Or tie me up with an imaginary rope
To an imaginary tree
And force me to watch them preform a rendition of Thriller
Like a bad episode of Glee

Yes, those Zombie Mimes are freakzoides
Long before they became the performing dead
I've been uncomfortable in their presence
Could it be because of something they once said

Wait...now here they go
Pretending to walk against the wind
Will I ever be able to venture outside
Will this silent madness ever end

I don't know where they contracted the Zombie virus
Or even how this all went down
I only hope and pray it doesn't infect
Any of the Circus Clowns

My life is like a mobile
Above the crib of life
Swinging free in the AC's gentle breeze
As the music softly plays

Batted by the world
As I twirl in childlike wonder
Overhead where my dreams are kept
Black and white in color

In my youth, I could accept it
Tripping the light fantastic
Now it's cut-outs of paper clouds
Spinning everlasting

Promises made
Promises kept
Forward full force
With all that we have

Both of like mind
Body and soul
In the I do
We became whole

This ring says it all
Solid its bind
Holding no end
Between your heart and mine

I leave little pieces of me
As I move along the way
From the thin of my perfection
To the thick of my mistakes

Where they tell the story of me
My daily escapades
From my moments of glory
To the white flags that I wave

Collecting pieces of me
Like butterflies pinned in frame
A silence to the beauty
That almost got away

Little pieces of me
I either lost or gave
Anyways they're free
Do with them as you may

Don't be afraid to write a love poem
And give it to that special one
That flutters your heart wherever you are
The one that makes your tongue come undone

You can say it all in a love poem
Give it time to work your heart and mind
To help in the search for the perfect words
To set your feelings into rhyme

There's nothing better than a love poem
To get your point of love across
To make it clear you're forever here
When you rhyme it down in  love

If you can let Love
Take you by the hand
Never under pressure
Never by demand
Let it have its say
On all the paths it takes
Clearing hate from the day
Let Love have its say

Better still let Love
Have its open will
In sickness and in health
Love is here to heal
Let it play its part
In everything you are
Love is where you start
Let Love play its part

If you can let Love
Take you by the hand
Comfort where it hurts
The very best it can
If it's not found the first time
Don't give up in trying
If you can let Love
Take you by the hand

I'm not here to answer questions
When I have my own of wonder why's
And if I did I'd be purely guessing
Who gets to live verses who's to die

Could it be destiny that calls them
Or better yet, luck of the draw
Who has stood and who has fallen
And the meaning to it all

Answers we may never know
As the world tosses some to and fro
While just as easily
Leaves the rest alone

Some are history in the making
Some never get that far
Though their memories are well worth saving
Never forgetting who they were

And those of us left surviving
Has that to do because we're bullet proof
Or is it all in the timing
Who's to win and who's to lose

Answers we may never know
As the world tosses some to and fro
While just as easily
Leaves the rest alone

When I find the door is creaking
And the walls are closing in
Right away you know the meaning
And you take a hold my hand

You lead me to that wanting place
At night by candlelight
Away from the frantic pace
From this world, you help me hide

When there's a crease inside my attitude
Calloused in its form
Unknowingly it calls out to you
For the comfort of your warmth

Lifting me so gently
From the troubles of this life
You are my shelter, you are my keep
From this world, you help me hide

When the air I breathe gets too much for me
And the atmosphere is torn
You hold me tight in the belief
That this won't fray the cord

If you ask me I feel I'm squeezed
By all of its might
That is why in truth I need
From this world, you help me hide

I never met a fool in love
'til the day that I met you
Believing in fairytales and wishing wells
in hopes they will come true

Yet I know that you accept it
and trust life works this way
You'll happily continue in your quest
for life's biggest ever cliche

So wish upon a star
a lucky clover from the patch
We know where you wish you were
a fool in love is where you're at

But if you discover the fairytale
and can prove that all is true
Please offer me, just once, a tinder kiss
so I too can be a fool

I found an 8x10
Taken who knows when
Pictured a couple in all their glory

I never realized
Till I saw it with my own eyes
I miss the way things used to be

Those days are now long gone
We both have moved along
Separate ways to write a different story

To me a mystery
To you one of intrigue
Each chapter verse should have held a warning

That it would come to this
In an 8x10 no less
Have you read the part where I say I'm sorry

The way things have turned out
In this storyline no doubt
With no way to know if you agree with me

As we never got that far
In the time of who we were
Which brought about the end of this story

Can I let you in on a little something
That to me has been wrong way rubbing
While some folk might think it's nothing
Like kissing on a second cousin

But something about this don't seem right
Now I ain't trying to start no fight
All depends on your appetite
On what you do and do not like

But me, I don't like all the complaining
Especially from those misbehaving
Gets my head all into aching
Which happens a lot these days lately

They expect us all to follow along
But what if we don't dance to that song
Can you tell me what about that is wrong
Aren't we all individuals

I guess they expect you to go with the crowd
Not to think or do by yourself
Be a good little sheeple now
Tell you when and where to bow down

Have they ever thought of discussing
In a calm voice without the cussing
Maybe then we'd all learn something
Cause all of this whining is unbecoming

That's about all I gotta say
I'm tired of being rubbed the wrong way
To me, this ain't okay
Oh and by the way...have a nice day

If you see Miss Liberty
Kiss her bye for me
Tell her I said that it's been fun
But she's had her day in the Sun

She always stood for justice
Until the new millennium
We told that gal to trust us
Then proceeded to do her in

We came, we saw, we conquered
Then left her all alone
When overtime we squandered
The freedom she had shown

We had treated her for all her worth
With love and dignity
At our behest she did her best
In keeping us all free

She started out her mission
For country, God, and man
But either we didn't listen
Or didn't understand

Could we have kept if we had worked at it
After all freedom isn't free
But as it now stands we wave our hands
Goodbye Miss Liberty

Can't help but follow you
Wherever it is you go
I'm your biggest fan
Thought you might want to know

I watch your every move
Been everywhere you've been
That my love is just how much  
It is to me you mean

Oh, I almost forgot
So I don't cause a fright
That is my wild eye reflection
In your window every night

It's a part of what I do
A big part of my plan
As I spend my days with you
As your biggest fan

I have a lock of hair
I bought off eBay
Would you mind if I stopped by
Just to authenticate

What I bought was ***** blonde
When I know you are brunette
Though they both look good on you
On top your pretty head

Are you dating anyone
Have a love that's true
Cause I could be that special one
That special one for you

I've already been on your tour bus
That was my lipstick heart in the back
In fact right now I'm writing this
From atop the luggage rack

Remember when you looked at me
I was in the 18th row
It was like we shared a secret
That only you and I both know

That secret being I'm here for you
I know you understand
You and I were meant to be
Cause I'm your biggest fan

Out on the seven seas
It's the sailor's life for me

Yo ** ** is the way to go
If you find yourself afloat

Having a whale of a good time
Inside this purple whale of mine

We've been friends from way back when Since this guppy learned how to swim

Now adventurers we are finding
On every new horizon

The only thing we seem to need
Is the freedom to be free

Living out this sailor's life
Pushed and pulled by the ocean's tide

Both captain and a kid
In this purple whaling ship

I'm one of those blessed I know
To get along with my toes
So I took time out in my day
To give them all different names

The big toe I have on the right
I gave him the name of Frank
You may ask the reason why
But frankly it's escaped my mind

The one that's sitting next to him
I went ahead and named him Slim
Skinny is as skinny does
And he's the skinniest of the toes

Then there's the one in the middle
He's the one that loves to wiggle
So he needs a special name
And that is why I call him Dave

The toe that is next in line
Has gotten crooked over time
So I nicknamed him Senator
Which seems to suit him fine

And then there's little Pinky
But doesn't everyone I'm thinking
Try as hard as I might a new name to find
Pinky's the name that comes to mind

Don't you know when it comes to toes
And you have more than one of those
To cut out on the confusion
I gave them all names of my choosing