how can we hide
all that we have
after we find
the earth is flat
where we clearly see
from side to side
the edge of the abyss
is both left and right
there should be a sign
that says hold on tight
they have kept it from the skeptics
the secrets where they left it
for all that it's worth
in case you haven't heard
here is the dirt
on the flat earth
the main theme that runs deep
that all here should know
the flat earthers have chapters
all around the globe

When all of this is said and done
The one I'll most miss, is Old Corn Pop
Oh, the stories he could tell
Like pennies from the wishing well

What constantly seems to be eating at me
Are the life and times of Uncle Bozzi
I hate to be the one picking at bones
But what in the world is going on

And all the daze he said he was raised
By every community, clan, religion, and race
There has never once been a President
That has done as much as him

The fact that he once drove a truck
An 18-Wheeler with a manly clutch
The things he'd say don't match the dates
From hospital stays to the riding of trains

From the shaking of hands with people not there
To losing his way on a stage everywhere
With the stumbling of World Leader's names
Things around here just won't be the same

There is no denying that Good Old Joe Biden
Was clearly confused or down outright lying
One thing that I know as this world implodes
I'll miss the tall tales from Ole Scranton Joe

she prays the rosary
giving her much needed comfort and peace
in these days of trying times

far more than cross and beads
to her pleasure they are there to keep
close to God, in heart and mind

she prays on bended knee
a discomfort it seems but certainly
the pain helps to remind

nothing in life is ever easy
but rest assured the comfort we need
is in knowing Jesus Christ

Stuck in this jive
They call 9 to 5
With the pushing of broom
In the fight to survive

This constant battle
That most of us have
Hand on the handle
Waving tattered white flags

Barely awake
Here we go again
As the time clocks say
Hey, where you been

These gizmos and gadgets
Won't build themselves
And if you're slow to help
We'll find somebody else

In this daily delirium
Hanging over our heads
You never know
If this is your last paycheck

It's a prison of sorts
This 9 to 5 jive
Where we spend half our lives
In our fight to survive

I have this pet peeve
That hangs out with me
Early on is when I found
It is fed by the crowd
When they're out and about
Doing as they please
That's when my pet peeve
Runs circles around me

Someone may randomly
Leave a shopping cart
For my pet peeve to spot
In the vast parking lot
Those that spew talk
With no thought when to stop
Or cover their mouths
When they start to cough

I can hear my pet peeve
Growl insistently
Awakening the
Killer instinct in me
And don't even try
To cut in line
You want to know why?
My pet peeve bites

And don’t even start out
At the counter to count your change
Unless you want to see
My pet peeve deranged
Just so you know
I often let go the leash
On the days that I have
My pet peeve with me

You might look at me and see
Someone who is fast asleep
One that is in desperate need
A strong amen indeed

Then there are the other days
You will find me wide awake
All of it for heaven's sake
Oh Lord, this I pray

I'd rather have a steady flow
In my upward steady growth
All of it for this I know
God is always in control

No matter what my day is like
Walking straight the razor line
Or on a roller coaster ride
I give it all to Jesus Christ

Who knows me well and still loves me
Gave his life to set me free
The rest my friend is history
A strong amen indeed

As I rounded the hill
Face to face with the still
That I'd only heard rumors spoke of

With no one around
I sat myself down
And proceeded to sample the stuff

As sweet as honeydew melon
Got my feet to a geling
Made me feel like I did in my youth

Sat with a dumb gaze for a while
Then got the biggest of smiles
When it came to me what I should do

So I went with my plan
And opened a stand
Right there on the mountain side

When word in the forest got out
I never had any doubt
That all of the critters would be stoping by

You should have seen them all  guzzle
As the squirrels ordered doubles
Then proceeded to tell wild nutty lies

It was quite the fiasco
When they brought out the cowboy hats and  lasso's
As the party went well into the night

They paid in nuts and berries
Which was fine by me
With them I made different flavors of shine

In flavors I made 32
So I wouldn't get sued
By Baskin-Robbins who has 31 at this time

From all the flavors I made
Boysenberry was the fav
The raccoons made up a dance called the boysenberry crawl

Which was a big hit
At the discotheque
The beavers built in the early fall

We made a deal
I would sell them my swill
For a little piece of the pie

We were all getting rich
I have to admit
It's quite the relationship, the beavers and I

Of course the beavers got greedy
You know how beavers are needy
Couldn't leave well enough alone

Figured they had the right
Who's going to pay for these lights
That make this the best disco in town

They started charging a cover
Which didn't go over
As well as they would have liked

Plus they doubled the price of the *****
Which left little food
On the woodland creatures tables at night

Things went from bad to worse
When they started to curse
Me, "The Man" for the troubles they had

I barely made it out alive
By the skin of my hide
When I packed and hit the road mighty fast

Things had been going so well
Before it all went to hell
And me and my still were forced to leave

Now still to this day
You know why I always say
That famous line, passed down in time
"Leave it to Beav"