Cemeteries can be scary  
Passing by whistling a tune
With the shifting of the shadows
Below the glow of a blood moon

Tombstones whisper their owners names
While trees creak in the winter breeze
As both my mind and my eyes
Play ghastly tricks on me

The sound I fear, I hope I hear
Is that of a lone Owl
And not a hootenanny
Of Ghostly Spirits on the prowl

It's hard to keep these knocking knees
From giving out in protest
As my racing heart skips a beat
Imagining what will come next

As I pass by this graveyard
Whistling the driest of tunes
Cemeteries can be scary
Below the glow of a blood moon

Wait a minute, is it already Christmas again
Seems I just took down the lights and the tree
Is there no rest for the downtrodden and weary
This season sometimes takes the Merry Gentleman out of me

So I load up the sleigh with the dog and the kids
The old beat up station wagon I drive
On the hunt for this years perfect tree
We'll be lucky if we make it back home alive

As we jingle all the way to the local tree farm
Six kids and a dog singing at the top of their lungs
With only twelve days left before Christmas
My **, **, **, is already long gone

Picking the best tree out within our budget
My wife says Charlie Brown would be proud
I ask smarty pants Mrs. Santa what she meant by that
She'd rather not say with the little elves around

Before an argument even ensues
I've lost the battle before I hit the front line
You wonder how I'm so confident of that
The same thing happened last year at this time

As I struggle to get the tree off the roof of my jalopy
While Jack the dog in the frost is nipping at my toes
I fall to the ground with visions of sugar plums dancing in my head
Waking up to the dogs frozen tongue stuck up my nose

Finally with the tree set up in the front parlor
I notice it leans bad to one side
Taking my chainsaw to alleviate the problem
The gas fumes **** my kids parakeet out right

With Hobby Lobby open late for the holidays
I was able to purchase the product I need
Working late into the wee morning hours
I did a good job shellacking the parakeet

I'm not sure that my kids even noticed
Or brought up the question what for
But they sure like the shinny new ornament
Hanging next to the hamster that disappeared the year before

Well, I survived another preparing for Christmas
As subconsciously I'm being led
To wrap myself in last years present 'The Snuggie'
And dream of those sugar plums dancing in my head

If you'd care to know how I grew up
It was in the shadow of country folk
Days spent on the family farm
Young and dumb, loads of fun

Swimming in a catfish pond
Having my toes nibbled on
Days on end spent in a rash
Rolling round Bahia grass

Hours of play in summer hay
As through my youth I made my way
Flying high on a rope swing
Are some of my best memories

An entire summer with no shoes
What came next, I had no clue
Half of what I did meant certain death
That's how you roll when you're a kid

Living life down on the farm
Empty fields at night beneath the stars
That's the best way I can show
Growing up in the shadow of country folk

My daddy passed away today
Though he died a long time ago
Brought a monkey back from Afghanistan
That killed our once happy home

There was horror in his eyes
Which really was no surprise
I hated what that monkey did
Every time he took a bite

My mommy died the day
My daddy passed away
Left an emptiness in all us kids
That will never fade away

Have to wonder what was going on
Inside my daddy's head
What that monkey took away
And what the war behind him left

Of this once a happy home
It's hard to understand
The day my daddy went to war
And brought a monkey back from Afghanistan

Just stay where you're kindly at
And gently nod along
Don't fuss over facts
About what's going on

All we need you to do
Is to do what we tell you to
Line by blurry item line
To our own brand of the truth

Until every wayward soul
Is under our complete control
Heart, body, feeble mind
Overtime, bought and sold

Just nod along
To kindly get along
In the spin from our end
You'll never know there's something wrong

We'll tell you that it's day
When clearly it is night
Back up what we have to say
With our own brand of half-truths and lies

After all
What have we got to lose
If you just nod along
And do exactly what we tell you to

I'm telling you now
I've had enough
From this and that
And all the other stuff

Going to change my name
Rearrange my face
Leave this place
Without a trace

If I do come up
They won't remember me
With no bat of an eye
Or a single blink

It'll all be like
We never met
This side of life
No one will guess

That I was ever
Even here
Like anyone
Would ever care

So, excuse me now
While I bow out
And leave this place
Without a trace

To tell the truth when I look at you
Before I even know, what you've been through
One of the first things I do
...don't you know

Is to find the perfect spot
With just the righteous amount of rocks
And give it all I have got
...don't you know

Don't even think to look at me
Not a single word do I heed
No insightful instructions do I need
...when throwing stones

Far and wide justice is blind
Well to tell the truth, so am I
When my own sin I deny
...don't you know

In judgement I stand tall
Keep it simple and that's not all
In my own righteousness I applaud
...don't you know

It doesn't take a giant leap
Or intelligence all that deep
To see where the problem lies is me
...when throwing stones