Let's say **** it
buy whiskey
and drink till we ****.
Lock the door,
break our phones,
and we'll fake like we're stuck.
ignore work
ignore class
say goodbye to the world.
Get hot under covers
with twenty toes curled.
If we wake in the morning
oh if precious if
we'll say **** it
buy whiskey
and drink till we're stiff.

I know I am crying
but I'm also trying
yet i still feel like dying

I look so blue
It's the way I feel without you
I will never start anew

I need a wishful token
not a brain thats broken

Where are you?
I look for your face in the darkest of places
Who are you?
I try to erase all of your traces
What are you?
You demon, you devil, you smiling serpent
Where are you?
I'm seeking this out, to put it to end

Smoke circles my eyes
Glasses of fog rise
Through them, my life seems different
Beautiful, not like it is, rent
This mist keeps me alive
Without it I would surely die
Life of Cigarettes
Life of Regrets?

1.
And so, I clamber up the heavy *****
and sit alone upon a wide, flat rock.

I still the voices clamouring hard within
and try to listen to the air settle and breathe . . .

The eagle swoops low, whirring loud beside the rocky outcrop
likening its talons to sustain the hold of life . . . (this line to be amended ...sounds odd)

Leaves quiver silent on massive trees
obedient to nature, yet roots bold outgrown . . .

Shade reaches and stretches genial arms
while feel of dark and moist, fertile ground pervades . . .

Air thick with teeming life the eye can't see
thrums with invisible threads, linking slow tendrils . . .

Quiet sky looms dignified and peers squinted
while sun rays slant into pores, kiss my cheek.

Beetles scamper light along the soft, red sand
and not unlike them, I seek still the answer within . . .



2.
Fierce fire takes up dry tinder, consumes into heated coils
destroying with relish, yet offer cleansing balm . . .



3.
Sudden rains refresh, glance off surprised face, upturned
sweet deluge leaves all sodden to delighted heart . . .



4.
I turn not away
I look up
to receive . . . gladly.


I give such thanks
fall on knees to see . . .

No red sky (as in my nightmares)
No lost sun
No smoky horizon
No grey trees
No dead leaves.

Only yellow sunshine
Only blue sky
Only green leaves
Only clear horizon

as far as the eye can see.




S T, 8 May 2013

"Believe in yourself"
that's what they always say.
"Believe in yourself"
is this the only way?

Because I can never find the path,
even what I search through the stars.
Is this the only way?

It seems everyone's lives are building up
around me.
It seems like no one seems to see
that inside this is breaking me.
But as if I'm not already broken.

This smile is just the front cover of
a never-published magazine.
This smile is all you will ever see
unless you explore the remains of this broken door.
Will it ever be?

If you went back in time to see
my life through the years, if you
went back in time, you'd be drowned by all my tears.
If you search for the pieces dispersed, hopefully
the bad will be reversed,

Will you stay by my side?

Master words play on your mind.
They affect you like a different kind.
How can letters create such scars?
For the answer you look to the stars,
but no can tell.

Raindrops imitate your tears.
Funny how they can't wash away your fears.
When did the rain become so weak?
You'll forget about it all next week.
But then it'll all come back again,
to haunt you, now and then.
"I'll fight it another day" you say,
but how close is that day?

I'm no good with words as you can tell, but I hope that these mean very well.
Love is patient, love is kind and I can't get you off my mind.
What I'm trying to say is this, I don't know how hard it is.
But if I did I'd let you know that I will never let you go.

Either way, that's still the truth and I will always be your roof
for when the rain come pouring down
and if I have to I will drown.
Just so that you can see, you mean everything to me.

So here it is, this is my song.
I hope that one day you'll sing along.
But if you can't well that's just fine, I can make it all mine.
To sing to you when you're feeling down,
to get you off the breaking ground.

And when it does then I will see, just how hard it is
really.
And when I do I'll hold you tight and not let go
for the rest of the night.

Can we pretend for a bit,
                that every day is a bicycle waltz?

That every day is filled,
                filled with wine and whiskey love.

And skin feels like heaven,
               when no one is watching it touched.

That your body & my body,
               will never grow tired of the endlessness of each other's.

Everyday should be a bicycle waltz,
               With you my dear,
                                      *my immeasurable amount of intangible motion.

I promise to be kind every day that follows today,
I promise to stay by your side no matter what happens,
I promise to take you to dance every friday night,
I promise to sing the songs I wrote for you,
I promise I'll do anything to make you stay,
I promise to give you all the love you need,
I promise that you'll always be able to cry on my shoulder,
I promise to fall asleep in your arms,
I promise to kiss your cheek, your nose and your neck,
I promise to warm you up if your cold,
I promise to kiss you in your sleep,
I promise to make you smile all day, every day
I promise to kiss you under the rain,
I promise to write poems about how much I care for you,
I promise to travel everywhere with you by my side,
I promise to slowly carress your cheek,
I promise to bring you to the top of the Eiffel tower,
I promise to share everything I own,
I promise to tell you you're beautiful every day,
I promise to hold you in my arms and close my eyes,
I promise to make you laugh if you're feeling low,
I promise to believe in our love,
I promise to fight for it,
I promise I'll be the best girlfriend you've ever had,

I promise you happiness for the rest of your life.