Aggravation
A waste of a day
I’m irate
Had to pay
For a test
That I failed
To equate
To necessity
Prerequisite
Need to know
How to drive this car safely
To stop
And then go
Now I go even slower
More cautious
Each turn
When approaching
The limit
No rubber to burn

In here
You’re with me
At my mercy,
Behest
At my beck and call
Call me
By what I do best
What I claim
Domain name
Is eternal unrest

For in here
I decide
What to give to the night
What to offer
The coffers
Of can’t see the light
Ever seeking in vain
Domain name
What to write

When in here
We’re at home
But a whirlwind
Alone  
Overthrown
Though unconquered
Dominions I roam
For I came
Domain name
As I etched it
In stone

Maintaining the guise
Of a normal life
Taking
Its toll on my
Loving wife
Hearts have been breaking
And I have been making
It worse
In exhausting
All options
To keep us contained
In our coffins
More often than not now
Despite
How we’re home
We resort to
Withholding our thoughts
All alone
All along
Still enamored,
Still genuine love
But it’s like
We’re preparing
To be
Deprived of
One another again
Can’t accept
It’s the end
Can’t cause anymore wounds
That we know we can’t mend
Can’t relinquish the feeling
Serenities ease
If the ghost of you
Swept away
In the sea breeze

Don’t take it personal
Illness is terminal
Turned us
Into
Something else
Indiscernible
From the non-verbalize
Gerbils
Still running
Around the unyielding wheel’s
Torturous fortune
Inside a vivarium
Social distortion
Where trickle down
Sustenance
Keeps us appeased
And whatever they feed us
Much sooner diseased
Ever farther from freed
We are just pets in hands
Of the gods of greed
Squeezed

To some of you
Once a good man
At first glance
Or first happenstance
Chance
I might find you
Entranced
But the rants
And the rancid
Cantankerous
Raving
Is lunacy
Set to default’s
Isolating
Increasingly fringe
Foreign take
On the issue
That leaves me with
More paranoia
To sift through
And sitting through
One more superfluous meeting
Might soon reveal
Looks
Can at times
Be deceiving
My name, image, likeness
Empire of thieving
My pound of flesh
Wounded pride’s
Internal bleeding
Not fit to be leading
A nation of many
When personally,
Morally
Bankrupted
Plenty

Leave it to me to let
You down again
Then pretend that the problems
Don’t come from within
For I’ve been
Out of body
Outside looking in
And I viewed this flesh vessel
Absolved of all sin
So it couldn’t be such
An infallible form
Without agency over
Responsible for
It’s not me,
Must be you
Didn’t choose to be this
Didn’t ask to be born
Barely want to exist
And it only makes sense
When oblivious bliss
Pleads the fifth
When confronted about
All the crimes
I commit

But that’s just it
You know
I go
Around the town pretending  
That there’s any other girl out there
I could imagine ending
This disgusting
Hollow shell of life for
No more sorrow to incite for
Violence, we want peace I know
But none will ever let it show
The way I did
And could
With you
The guy who knows about the feud
But only covets more of you
And he together
Words ensue
Organically in my dementia
So much left to tell you
Never
Can I have the days return
So much left
Us both to learn
But please forget me
Leave me gone
I fear that I must
Die alone
Don’t answer me
It helps to flee
So far away from
Happily
Conclusions that we’re both aware
Would only make us
More despair
I wasn’t perfect in the least
You weren’t some too easy beast
I broke just like the others
How?
Were you before them
And still now?

What it takes
To get likes
In this world anymore
Doesn’t seem to compute
Or restore
To my norm
Was of you
Seeming always
To view
Me with as
Disproportionate
Has been
The love you once had
For you must
Have felt something
I know it for sure
For you dragged my dread carcass
Back up off the floor
A few times at least
Known
Other times are now
Gone
And the being without you
Makes death of the dawn

You keep saying that
I don’t know what it means
You think you’re the first sorceress
I’ve ever seen?
You think mystic statistics
Above me
Beyond
But I’ve been to the edge
Where humanity dawned
And I wandered this wasteland
A true vagabond
And along the way
Wicked like witches
I spawned
What no dead-beaten creep
Could conceive in the deep
Now I reap the sweet nectar
I plucked from the peak
So for someone
Without any answers
It’s odd
You’re so quick to close minds
To my kind
Monkey god
So just wait for your sign
Ruling planets
Align
For the more down to earthly
Affairs
Are best saved
For the skeptics and doubters
And me robbing graves

Fellow Americans
     Won't is not can't
           We can end this tirade
                This ignorant rant
           Neo-**** crusade
      This fearmongering
Xenophobic campaign
      This point your fat finger
           Take none of the blame
                 This **** flinging ape
            This bombastic baboon
       Rotting all of our brains
Like a ****** cartoon
       This email distraction
            For no course of action
                 Except the word "jobs"
            And a Twitter war faction
        This sick, twisted joke
This comedy act
         Dropping the curtain
             On matters of fact
                 This tax-dodging fraud
             Has stolen from you
         So what makes you think
You're a part of his coup  
         This billion-airhead
             Makes no cents at all
                  He speaks his small mind
             Behind a big wall
        This nuclear bomb
  To diplomacy's voice
        Aborting the right
             To democracy's choice
                  This false god complex
              Disguises his devil
         Deceptions to drag us
Back down to his level
         This Molotov cocktail
              In Putin's back pocket
                  His greedy heart froze
              In a cold-plated locket
          This coal-blackened soul
Toxic demagogue
         Keeps poisoning us
              By spewing speech-smog  
                   This climate change hoax
              Outweighs all the lies
         Deny this one truth
  And everyone dies
         This you're fired show
              Outsources our trust
                   To Chinese steel towers
              Of slave-labor rust
        This loaded handgun
To sanity's head
        Depravity bullets
              Promoting bloodshed
                   This locker room talk
              This all Muslim ban
        This election is rigged
This ******* madman
        This antithesis
              Of all we stand for
                   Great from our first steps
              Onto Liberty's shore
        So I beg of you now
Vote him off of the stage
        This dog's had his day
              Put him back in his cage
                   This nation was founded
              By working together
        And those who attempt
To divide us shall never
        Condemn our ideals
             To an amoral fate
                    Lest we forget
                         That love always trumps hate

Embrace me
My last never bloom
For tomorrow
Uncertainty looms
On the spindles of sorrow
And watching it sow
Needle points
Of my dread
Would just sooner unravel
And lay bare the thread
Of not ready
To let you
Ignore what you read
And respond with
A silence
From which I once fled
But to wed
Is forgetting
Regret
Intersected
Us here at the crossroads
Of destiny
Bested
For I wasn’t made
To be anyone’s
End
But to fade
In what fate
At its best
Can’t intend

Absorption
Of all sorts of
Warped information
So porously permeates
My rumination
An inundation
Of befuddling
Puddles
Besotted my brain
With each new innovation
I can not explain
Outpacing the rate
I can’t trace
A trajectory
Can’t calibrate
To this Morse Code
Perplexity
Vexing me
Try as I might
To decipher
The messages
Only in writing
The past’s
Lasting vestiges
Remnants of presaging
Matters in tatters
All scattered
About me
As mad as a hatter
Still poring over
An outpouring of tea
Kettles meddling,
Drug-peddling
Me more lunacy
With each sip
I trip, slipping
Down rabbit hole mystery
Sifting through time-shifting
Pages of history
Back to antiquity’s
Atavistic
And nuncupative
Socrates
Intellects
Recollect
Fragments of memory
Long-lost
In talking point’s
Pin-pointed provenance
Anecdotal,
The sum-total
Predominance
Of petit bourgeoisie
Partisan politics
Paltry polemics
And charlatan
Rhetorics,
Heretics
****** polygamist
Lamb’s
Transcendantalists
Warring with
Transgender bans’
Clans of militants’
Plans for the future
Contingent on which
Faction patches
Its lack of technology
Glitch
And yet still am I itching
To scratch at the surface
Of how it all started
With what is my purpose?
Except to reflect on it all
And persist
In existence amidst
Super-humanist
Bliss

Don’t tell me it can’t all be equally shared
Don’t tell me elections are fair
Anywhere
I know whose had the power
The weapons to prove it
The world in their hands
And the money to move it
Perpetual profit
New product to cell
Dwellin’ deep in the pocket
Of your lol

So don’t tell me with Twitter you’re not all Obsessed
When you buy every lie presidential address
Comin’ hot off the press
Not so free to inform
A pornhub tuggin’ ******
Publicity Storm
And another blackout
On my people uncovered
Like Firestone burnin’ through natives
Unrubbered

Don’t tell me you don’t have the cure
Or that war
Isn’t waged on the people
To sheeple the poor
To the industry slaughterhouse
Dream factory
Where success is a breath of fresh
Debt peony
I know slavery still puts
That food on the table
And big pharma’s FDA puppets, the label

So don’t tell me dope is what’s making us Dumb
Don’t tell me my God’s not the LSD sun
Or that guns aren’t hired
To desecrate my
Sanctified inner peace
Keepin’ graffiti sky
For my ties to this earth
Are invaluable worth
So don’t tell me my rights haven’t been mine Since birth

The newsreel continues
To capture the screen
And command my attention
But what does it mean?
I could see the same story
Unfolding, retold
By a hundred one pundits
And still never know
The significance, impacts
It has on my life
I just want to be sure
That it's still mine to write
But I guess that is why
I so hawkishly watch
And click into the ticker tape
Media clock
For the first of intriguing
Developments mentioned
Recrudescences in
Border kids in detention
Just an update
On the world I'm a part
Of the broad simulcast
Of its need to restart
Is my only conclusion
When natural disasters
Are just a school shooting
Colluding again
With some populist movement
And some celebrity scandal
Exclusive
But me the eye witness
Can't help but tune in
And remain so fixated
On when will it end

I summon the depths
With Titanic defiance
Usurping the summit’s
Olympian tyrants
But still find their kind
An enchanting intrigue
When the real love affairs
Of this world
Have aggrieved
And deceived me more often
Than yielded the truth
Bittersweet
As I reach
For the Tantalus fruit
Still eluding me
Not before
Offering glimpses
Of nymphs seal my fate
To a constant ellipsis

The rest of your life you say?
I let you slip away
Now I know tragedy
Isn’t a silly play
Not melodrama
Nor actors in masks
Not mementos and trinkets
And lost artifacts,
Heart attacks,
Broken pacts,
Or the past mistakes made
Can’t compare to the pain
Of how it can pervade
Individual fibers,
Recesses of real  
And then at your core
Rip you apart
To reveal
What you actually feel
To have known along
It was wrong to have doubted
You’d someday be gone

Approaching the edge
Of all I can stand
The last straw, with the wind
Has been plucked
From my hand
High atop
Animosity’s peak
Indignation
I boil and fume
Like a calm conflagration
Awaiting eruptions
Disaster event
I’m hellbent
On vertiginous slopes
Of descent
Into discontent trenches
Incensed apprehensions
Anxiety’s turbulent tides
Of depression
Subservient still
To its ties,
Inextricable
Licentious thrill
To lie with it at night
And ****
Any a pleasant dream
Tempting,
Tormenting me
With a promissory
Daily propensity
For apoplexy
Before even breakfast
Can further
Half-empty me

You can't catch me 22 
I'm miles dead ahead of you  
Runnin' circles round' you squares
With lion shares and grizzly bares
Livin' on a cobra's prayer
With taboo turpitude'n tongue
Conundrums that I'm summon'un
The meta-Orpheus has come
Since 21, the chosen one
I'm neo-hippy rebel ****
So ante-uppers, get you some
Eleven seven slurpee sun
Super-soaking supernovas
With a matrix water gun
From vats of hydrochloric
Spillin' Joker on the masses
Turnin' Gotham allegoric
Into clown prince rhymes of passion
Of a blood of Christ fanatic
Jimmy Jones'n as I'm cashin'
In the semi-theocratic
Weapon cache'n checks imbalanced
Chemically unstable attic  
Bat **** crazy poison gases
Spewin' power-trippin' fascist
Cataclysmic autocratic
Devolution clash of classes
Resolution's prehistoric
Meteoric democratic  
So I'm risin' from the ashes
From dismayin' to conveyin'
How I'm goin' super Saiyan
When the treasure hordes of Mordor lords
Corrupt the men of Numenor
For Bard the Bowman heroes
Are the roles that I am playin'
In shadows of the Arkenstone
When I go dragon slayin'

The soul
Problem, child
Is central to me
For the only known
Undertone
Anxiety
In its ominous
Overblown
Clinically ill
Pharmaceutical
Profits
Don’t stop
Pop a pill
Just sit still
And sit back
With your head up straight
Automate
Autocrat
Technopath
Endlessly innovate
Paths to destruction
The masses
Production
Outweighing
The take home pay
Painstaking
Day by day
Gruelingly
Grinding
Their bodies
And minds
Away

What maidens appear in my dreams
Do I fabricate
Faces unseen before dissipate at
An alarming rate
Soon as my eyes open wide
And remind
Me why I
Do no longer see those
Of my past lives’ disguise

What I
Cannot take
To the grave
‘Lest it later
Unearth
What I swept
In the cave
What confessed
Unexpressed
I forget
To address
And regret
Resumes reaping
My restless
Decay
And by day
Drone away
In the silence’s gray
When inevitably
I destroy something else
For a long time ago
Did the same
To myself
And continued
To reinvent
New and improved
Ways of ending
What other lives
Need be removed
But still failed
To conclude
That to do so
Consistently
Makes you unmoor
From the anchor amor
‘Till she walked out the door

Adrift on waves that I compose
A shipwreck life of word and prose
Longing for the shore that shows
How blue my tide of sorrow flows
When her horizon sets and goes
To hide behind her vacant glows
Then pulls me in her undertows
No man could fathom deeper lows
The depths of anchored lovers' woes
Not even Lord Poseidon knows
How far I've sunk to feel her throes
Submerged in frigid voids she chose
Our hearts immersed in shadows froze
Yet like a thawing winter's rose
We still found warmth to melt the snows
So my descension never slows
Nor grants my flooding lungs repose
I'll drown in her 'til my eyes close
Until my dead man's chest implodes

Steeped in my stupor
About to tip over
A graveyard of beer cans
Is at my disposal
It flows though
The vocals
And so it goes
Global
The locals and I  
Keep it chill as Chernobyl
For there in their midst
Still exists
A slight rift
And with each sip approaches
The paradigm shift

Tried getting back to you
Barely still conscious
But conscience
Had cautioned
Against its more dauntless
Inebriated
State of mind
Degradation
And unfiltered,
Unreserved
Written oration

Not the strongest
Not the fastest
Not the smartest
Not the tallest
Not the weakest
Not the slowest
Not the dumbest
Not the shortest
Just a sort of
Pretty boring
Form existing
In distortion
And I morph into
The aether
Somewhat often
To report it

Geocentric conscious shrouds
Revolve around illusion clouds
To find the stars
We search the earth
And watch our suns die out from birth

Red giant idealistic youth
Pursuing supernova truth
Ambitions of
Infinite space
In time dark matters shall erase

No solace in maturity
Just rise and fall obscurity
Alone out here  
Burning to show
The universe how bright you glow

Revelations of these fusions
Conflagrations of delusions
To bugs racing
Towards the end
Diminishing the light you lend

Horizons never reachable  
Your energies unteachable
Nebulous
Dreams come to pass
Unfulfilled old ball of gas

Life stages shrinking us sequential
Makes quasars of our potential
Growing cold
In voids bereft  
Until black holes are all that's left

Distance makes
The heart grow fonder
Of without her
Love to ponder
All the ways
She makes me somber
Inadvertently
Of course
Correct, directs me
To the source
Of what enabled
Transformation
Now deprived
Of its sensation
Placed her in
Recessive corners
Confines of
Mental disorders
Where at least
She lives in thought
But dies in what
Was better sought

If only she knew
My raven, my dove
Has taken the form
Of my only true love

Like the sun and the moon
Equilibrium's force
She's my wind and my tide
She's my energy source

She's the opal-eyed skyline
Divine is her power
So how do we let down
Her flower-haired tower

Then pluck every petal
And cut every strand
Then toss her away
Like a raggedy Anne

Quick **** for a buck
To the coal-mining reaper
She screams out in pain
But we keep drilling deeper

Her willows now weeping
Her beauty erodes
In each drop of your ugly,
Corrosive payloads

To her womb of creation
Deforming it's birth  
When all life is valued
In financial worth

Why can we not share
In her warmth every day
Feel this thermal attraction
I'm melting away

Mistakingly breaking the bonds I was making
But mountains and meadows and oceans awaited me
Out in the world we both know
Is too big for forever
Together to grow

Excuse me I was floating
In a vast abyss of stars
I circumventilated hyperspace
Then waged a war on Mars
To find a word within reality
That redefined emotion
And its absence in my brain waves’
Thought-articulating ocean
Barely gathered in forever
As the split persona shatters
My response to any utterance
Is nothing anti-matters
You must look within the heart
And make a purpose for its beating
Or the lovers you assign it to
Will never stop the bleeding
But in leading with the superego’s
Lunar landing phase
Then any aliens you happen on
Will gladly learn your ways

Lost to the trials of time
Human nature
Combined with unstable
Mass ecocide labor
The edifice likeliness
Face of the maker
The people at war
To construct it the greater
Win over its favor
The flavor of flesh,
Fresh, when nothing else left
As the slavers arrive
To deprive it, bereft
Of the once sanctuary's
Most bountiful feast
Of the treeless extinction
Tradition deceased
Since the first wooden ship
Came ashore on the beach

Don’t repeat myself often
Dramatic effect
I don’t let
Get the best of me
Seldom upset
At least visibly
Not predisposed
To be vulnerable
But when I do
Often find
It is memorable
Cordial conversing
Divulging
More personal
No more rehearsing
Accepted vernacular
Just speak your mind
But be kind
Be empathic
And make flowing naturally
More force of habit

Needless to
So much as state
Your biases
Reverberate
Articulate
The puppet parrot’s
Preference
Prejudicial carrot
Deep in darkness
Dare to dread
An audience
Beyond your head
Just reaffirm
The self-assured,
The certitude
Whole truth secured
From extant
Inclinations,
Leanings
To whatever sounds  
Appeasing
Then repeat it back
Again,
Once more until
The journey’s end
Arriving where
You feel at ease
In how we seamlessly
Deceive
Ourselves of answers
Pre-ordained
Instinctive
Linked-in
Lizard brain
Creates the same
Survival mech
Fictitious facts
We’re left to check
Should only ever need arise
To validate the winning side
Of argument’s
Legit disclaimer
Ever will its
Fortunes favor
Me within
No doubt correct
Of answers that I
Architect

Impregnable gloom
Decomposer
Consume
Let decay
What remains
Of my chance to exhume
Nature's progeny,
Property
No more befit to rule
Creature
Is stopping me
For I write words
Ironclad in their peace
And reverberate
Deep
In the despot’s defeat
In humility
Strode
An ulterior road
All the while
Reside
In the doesn’t
Well bode
Just a toad
Having tasted
The princess’ bliss
When I tongued
The abyss
And I heard
A most visual
Serpent god’s
Hiss

Another step closer
To hitting the road
On my own again
I intend
To bring it home
And I’m trying
Ambitious as ever
To make it
To seek the best fit
And then someday forsake it
For now I must break with
The dream
Temporarily
Maybe forever
From childhood fantasies
Fading to never

A lost thought
Can change
The day
In ways
As manifold
As power plays
Attempt to undo
Neutral ground
The territory
Watered down
Becomes a barren,
Vast expanse
Of merely witnessing romance

Let youth have its day
To grow bold
Be in charge
Put your trust in us
Not to **** up with this
Task
This menial, mind-numbing
Question we ask
On repeat to the tune
Of each day is our last
Pass the class
Graded not for creative potential
Brain blast
But robotic performance enhancing
Ideas
Conceived in the rusting machine system gears

What they don't know
Won't hurt them
Not here to desert them
Or try to convert them
Effects that I happen to have
Inadvertent
But certain am I
What these people teach me
Born from not but the dirt
To grow into a tree
In their dormancy sleeps
A compassion for life
But their lot in it sharpened
It into a knife
And a spear tip to stave off
The predators lurking
I'm simply an herbivore
Shepherd observing

Immortality drips
From the edge of my sword
My command of the muses
As light as the Lord
Of a province of darkness
From whence I craft states
In a mind made of metalcore
Tectonic plates

I’m the eon traverser
Subversive immersing
Myself in a poverty void
Silver surfing
The wake of the breaking
Of space into shapes
As I tread shining paths
With a wrath made of grapes

And a Robespierre clarity
Visions of past
Revolts endlessly leading
To wars amongst class
When the ending, beginning
Again from the same
Wild-eyed little terror
No lion could tame

My fire might flicker
Though wild it roars
When oil is thicker
Than water-thin wars
In my rivers of blood
Which boil and fill  
With anger they flood
From the barrels you spill 
Your acid rain shower
Then raises frustration
As I solar power
A new generation

Which melts all the ice
In my cool-head aloof  
For no snow-blinded guise
Can bury the truth
Down further they dig
And then drill ever deeper
While we buy the rig
That they keep selling cheaper
But money is cold
And it's making me sick
And it freezes my soul
Like each cabinet pick

Their whipper winds crack
With white lightning force
But I thunder write back
With tornado discourse
For my tropical breeze
Has felt too many die
And my last temperate trees
Have heard Mother Earth cry
Her judgment will soon
Blow the guilty away  
In a righteous typhoon
That I've long kept at bay

Approaching the threshold
Of drastic life changes
Done hoping,
Expecting
The rest rearranges
To some more commensurate
Level to compensate
My deficit
With a destiny date
If I see her again
It would have to be fate
Since I squandered my chances
To actively seek it,
Pursue it,
Then rue it
How I couldn’t reach it
From summits I’d plummet
Crestfallen nadir
And in valleys of shadow
The fix would appear
Like a kick to the head
To ascend back atop
Ego mountain triumphant
Then never to stop
Glorifying transcendence
Embodying light
Now I just want to know
If it’s still worth the write

No sun today
Only the rain
And the way
Friends explain themselves
Never more sure I’d refrain
From attempting to delve
Into whomst is the smartest
Aspiring artist
Critiquing creationist
Brilliance
The darkest

******
In my loneliest sorrow
Foreboding
Yet for
Her I do
Know I have to keep going

Atoned
For my failing
My feeling
Like ****
By unmaking myself
More becomingly numb

Then disowned
But immersed
In material worlds
In my alienation
Recounting the girls

I bemoaned
Of my heartache
Uniquely
Distinct
As if no other lovers
Expressively inked

Their enthroned
In eternal
Forevers unfolding
Just finally found mine
In her close to me
Holding

Watch it move past us
Contained in decay
Everyday becomes wistfully
Wither away
And though hardly the first
To see living as dying
I think I equate it
More often in writing
Where I can trace aging
To futures predicting
That if I do find
Reason for my existing
I found what I needed
And claimed my desire
Composed of what leads me
In peace
To expire

Just a wicked peacenik’n quick draw from the Paw
Game of Thrones’n the Shah, cRussian bones of the law
When the baby-skull splitters want nuclear winter
Ideal New Cold steel and send Chernobyl shivers
Down Roman Republicans’ severed headlines
Till there’s no more dead kids on for prophet front lines
I’m in exile sharpenin’ [sic]kles in style
Pyongyang’n Kuomintang climate denials
Erasing their nation-hate racial profiles
Outpacing their skinhead disgraces by miles
Shell casin’ this place like the Nuremberg trials
For Fords sellin’ swastikas stockpile bibles
Defiled by Normandy tide genocidals
Fresh meat off the boat spreadin’ Plague mercantiles
I smile and **** ‘em with kindness
Then grind
Battle tax in my acid bath
Salt Marchin’ prime
Because WAR IS THE CRIME
I’m the Clown Prince of Rhyme,
Level 9 state of mind
Like the state of Rakhine
The Black Hand before time
Runnin’ Africa’s Luciest Sky Diamond mine
I’m the ronin alone in
The monkey god shrine
And my guile’s reprisal’s Versailles treaty signed
Strippin’ pride from the Rhine
Now your Motherland’s mine
Swine

Why do we hide
Behind screens and devices
Confronting our problems
Like drones upon Isis

Dumping our waste
In a news-feeding sea
Then digging up dirt
On our best frenemy  

Swipe right for love  
If you tryna' hit
As you kindle the flame
And then hashtag it lit

Processing feelings
Like androids alone
Despite the reception
From every iPhone

So disconnected
Though closer than ever
To google chrome answers
All searching together

On profile pictures
You can judge a book
When the moral of this one
Is how do I look

Unfiltered facades
Of half-life expression
Selfie-absorbed
Anti-social obsession

Objective dimension
Of pretense inanimates'
Unblocked accounts
Of inactive inhabitants

Dwelling in shallows
Of in-depth distractions
Profiting off of
The Twitter war factions

Stop buying shares
Of the media Marxist
Still selling your souls
To emoticon artists

My sociopathy displays
The same old gray haze every daze
This nothing and I don’t know why
I try and try and try and try
To make myself feel just like you
But rain drops fall, the sky is blue
Not some symbolic shade of sad
I don’t get mad, I don’t get glad
I just exist, persist, repeat
I add, subtract and then delete
The joyous moment mental notes
And transcendental anecdotes
A host of ghosts that walk beside
My shadow unbeknownst in stride
Such lovely, lonely, little people
Nurturing their inner peaceful
Living out their lucid dreams
But take a look behind the scenes
Of melodrama entities
And masquerade identities
Pretending to be happy so
This suffering we need not show
To those who sing their caged songbirds
Without emotion in their words

Grim as I’ve ever been
Waiting to die
Though at times
I may smile
I’m faking behind
The misfortune,
A most sordid
Torturous
Malady
Sounds like a job
For a cubicle salary
Spare me the lecture
On empathy
Drained
Enervated
Until my last nerve
Have I feigned
My last drop of compassion’s
Communicate brew
Until leave me alone
Is the obvious clue
Leading you to discover
However you feel it
Does positive, negative
Really reveal it
Or just make it more
Difficult to explain
We’re all narcissists
Analyze this
Ego brain