Closing walls and shrinking halls
Caffeinated wake up calls
Since satin dreams are just blank screens
And smiles come from ice machines
When Bible nightstand no salvation
For the outside world starvation
Abstract art room service cart
Can't clean the mess that is my heart
So the empty ceiling stares
By these lonely corner chairs
While I find nothing on in there
That would know or even care
For free breakfast care to join
Or just a spot of laundry coin
Before I spend the day in bed
To find no place to rest my head
No early check-out I assume
From Purgatory's hotel room

Lacking that quality
Quantity
Haunting me
Won’t let me sleep
It just instigates
Tauntingly
Forcing me back
To the drawing board
Bland
Staring blankly ahead
With a pen in my hand
It just has to be moved,
Be expressed,
Be expelled
All attempts at rebellion
Are ruthlessly quelled
For I've spelled it out
Countless times,
Infinite ways
It still beckons me back
To the halcyon days
Or the tragic,
Traumatic
Past, revisitation
What’s one more
To add to
Its zero summation

Try to learn from it
For there was a moment
In it
When you truly loved each other
You went with it
For you’d miss it
In the presence of another
For its absence
Was a future
Tends to spell
Impermanence
But we dispel it
As a nemesis
Of consciousness
Submits
Like flags in tatters,
Nothing matters,
It is useless to resist
So surrender
As it were
To her most enduring
Vow
And if it isn’t you
Still solemn
Be her sacrificial cow
And take to heart,
Not yet apart,
Remain rejoicing
In the now

Public life
Afterlife
Spotlight is dim
And it flickers
And fades
Like a stage
Pseudonym

The me revolution
Is patient and passive
Inside it amasses
A gathering rage
In a riotous tempest
At bay, kept away
From the hubris-imbued
Alter egos by day
The mundane and in vain
Solar-powered display
When they do not see life
As a precious resource
And they only know peace
When it’s taken by force
Of the choosers’ illusions
And terrorists’ wars
Tax burden exemptions
On white, sandy shores
That to most appear deserts’
Oasis mirages
To me they are merely
Blood-splattered collages

On checks for the OPECs exchequers in
Texas
And Brexits perplexing new nexus of rexes
Whose tax is so lax that it’s stacked on our backs
And the hacks get away with their cyber attacks
Until crash goes the system when viruses spread
I just upload the ones that get stuck in your head

Maybe I’m trying too
hard
To mean something
Perhaps she is already gone
And me dumping
My paltry, pathetic,
Precipitous prose
Like a deluge of desperate
Upon a dead rose
Can’t dispose of her silent
Indifferent
Existence
Each moment
Eternal
Futile
Resistance  
In listlessness I must revert
To the written,
The only way I’ve
Ever understood
Smitten
With souls,
And personas,
And psyches,
And signs
With the auras exuding
True beauty’s
Confines
But with her it is more
Than an infatuation
With mere metaphysical
Intoxication

Your god is subversion
Your flag is a weapon
My method’s conversion
Through history lesson
Expressing it in a poetic reflection
Since time immemorial
First begged the question
Why are we here?
And what is our inception?
Progressively testing the shining ideal
Still enslaved to the master’s whip coming to steal
Our identity politics, name tags and guns
Pointing barrels of blame at our brothers in arms
When we all know the enemy stems from the money tree
Robbing us blind until we don’t know how to be
Citizens, patriots, comrades of earth
Because all of this dirt is divided from birth
And the worth we assign to this rocking the vote
That we don’t see the burning *****’s sinking the boat
Just add fuel to the fire, empires of terror
For business is war and we wage it forever

I don’t believe in God
So you call me atheist
I don’t know what that means
To you

Those are your words
Not mine
My word is you
My word is me

It’s just so different
Thinking
Acting
Doing

It’s just not the same
As me
So we cast it out
We don’t understand

How nothing matters
To it
To this shell
Surrounding this person

But he does care
He does believe
In love
In pain

These are real
He’s seen them
He’s felt them
Everyday

But he can’t believe
In heaven
When his only angel
Left him in hell

It looks so sweet
Paradise’s promise
It tastes so bitter
Temptation’s lie

No being
No entity
No force
No eternity

Could ever return
The breath she stole
From my lungs
Beautiful thief

It’s just so difficult
Hoping
Praying
Believing

A day will come
When he will be free
To drown in those eyes
To save himself

Left alone
In its head
In its heart
Waiting

To mend the wounds
To feel the touch
To hear the word
To see the light

Scare away the darkness
She left him in
Her pain, his pendulum
Time ran out

Caged within life
Shackled to existence
Imprisoned in purgatory
Without her

So mark it a heathen
See if it cares
His only salvation
Is his lonely tomb

Take your best shot
I’ll await the sales pitch
But a purchase for me
Is a matrices’ glitch
And unless it reads
Resting witch face
On the shades
You can count me out,
Just browsing…
Maybe some trades
If you’re open to bartering,
Make me an offer,
Actually,
Just leave
The keys
To the coffer

Embracing tonight
I feel lonely and pensive
I heard from my girl
But my home is so empty
Seems like a lot less
Than three years ago
Entered
Found purpose and cause
In the people I’ve mentored
A living,
A being,
A place to belong
A community
Hidden
Was here all along
And still part of it
Just at a distance
Transition
To next chapters
Elsewhere
Adventures unwritten

That’s what I call it
Alone
Through the night
When sedation
Persuasions
Still fail me
Despite
What I write
Weary eyes
Concentrate
On the page
How to lay it to rest
From the rest
Disengage
From this cage
Of fixation
Obsession
Incessant
Clock ticks
In the midst
Of my listless
Depressant

To become mesmerized
by horizon eternity

Is to forget to enjoy
the sand between your toes

As you watch the sun setting
on the seldom-breached surfaces  

*Of mortality

Did you really think
Making it
Finding it
Easy
Just comes to you naturally
Gifted from god
But remember
You’re out here
Exposing the fraud
Not applauding the fake
Till you make it
Free trade
See right through
The duplicitous
Profit charade
Under guises
Devising
Their statement of mission
Proselytization
New world
Imposition
Of ordered
Conforming
Adhere
And obey
I remain the untamed
Feral dog day
Astray

Behind my own masks
I have spent
A lifetime clad
in my torment
Adorned in casque
of my lament
A shield against
the world's resent
Yet still my armor
left to rent
Split by smiles
never meant
False personas
I invent
Alternate skins
that I frequent
All these charades
I implement
Mere fallacies
of my descent
Deceiving depths
are imminent
And now the face
of true intent
To my dismay
is not present
Unless my heart
beats pure content
I fear my mask
is permanent

We try to sound
Profound
As we
Expatiate
Not meaning to
Pontificate
Philosophies
We contemplate
More often end up
Platitudes
Convictions we assert
Assured
Of righteousness
And rectitude  
Conflating faith with certitude
In provenances
We conclude
Consensus from the misconceptions
Answers to subsume
The questions
Even if the faintest doubt
Still lingers on each word
Of mouth
And furtively betrays
Ideals
As easily
As Death reveals
Itself to all of those in time
Who claimed in life
Divine design
More absolute than its unmaking
Predicating
Their awaiting
Finitely
To resurrection
On hypotheses
Of heaven
Fallible
Incredible
Intangible
Untenable
But nonetheless
Congenital
Is man in all his arrogance’s
Gods upon a pedestal

No end in sight Afghanistan
Still burnin’ flags out in Iran
Chinese steel grip
The Fuhrer’s fist
Still poundin’ on the podium
As Appalachia still succumbs
To ethnic cleansing *****
Peace-keepin’ like a North Korean
Sleepin’ on a Puerto Rican
Leakin’ all the in between and
Still you people think he’s speakin’
For the huddled masses, middle classes?
Cuttin’ taxes
For the battle axes cashin’ in
On truth denial gasses
Maskin’ babies bodies buried in
The Stormy normalcy
And no apology for Johnny
See why Colin took a knee?
Or did you miss the racial murders
Every single ******* day
I guess you missed the homelessness
Or the unequal gender pay
And when the kids take to the streets
You shut them up with adderall
Then seal them up behind a wall
Until their world’s a shopping mall
And then the Columbine each time
A new disorder
Breaks the mind
Until the Nero anti-hero
Comes to muse of its decline

Once I dwelt in darkness
Casting shadows from the flame
That formed and freed my conscious mind
From confines of the cave
And out into the nascent light
I took bewildered steps
To see omniscient suns arise
From ignorance's depths
To question, think and learn of all
The truths yet to discover
To smell and hear and taste and feel
The vision of a lover
Vivid vixens in the vibrance
Of my radiant rebirth
Philosophical phenomenon
Had redesigned the earth
And redefined the buried meaning
Which I try to share in vain
With all my brothers and my sisters
Still within the cave

She was the ripe,
   sweet succulent
Juices of berries
   seeping through
Cracks in teeth,
   creases in lips
Drips racing towards
   the chin precipices
To fall from the trips
   of her suicide kisses

Excuse me I was floating
In a vast abyss of stars
I circumventilated hyperspace
Then waged a war on Mars
To find a word within reality
That redefined emotion
And its absence in my brain waves’
Thought-articulating ocean
Barely gathered in forever
As the split persona shatters
My response to any utterance
Is nothing anti-matters
You must look within the heart
And make a purpose for its beating
Or the lovers you assign it to
Will never stop the bleeding
But in leading with the superego’s
Lunar landing phase
Then any aliens you happen on
Will gladly learn your ways

Is it joy or contentment
Eluding me still
Or this happiness curse
That is making me ill
For where there's a will
I am still without weigh
I am feathers of nothing
In zephyrs astray
Only blue shades of grey
In my novel romance
By the twist I am fated
To wait in this trance
With no chance to advance
To the unwritten chapter
Without a prologue
So I know what comes after
The sound of her laughter
Now rhyming and riddle
This story began
Somewhere in the middle

Anger boy sees all of you
He feels what you are going through
He wonders why there’s such distress
It vexes him, they can’t express
The same unbridled rage
In pain
Just quell,
Dispel,
Suppress,
Contain
What still inclines you naturally
Objects
To counter-
Factually
Bemused of ruin’s
Rhapsody
Tumultuous,
Tempestuous
Aggressiveness
Passivity
But anger boy still wears it on his sleeve
For all to see
He differentiates the hatred
From the seething enmity
He contemplates the hidden faces,
Safer space’s
Veering gaze
But looks away unfettered,
To a better
World ablaze

Delve deeper
You’ll find it
And with it become
A superior being
United as one
In the same sullen joy
Of a troubled existence
In questions conflicting
Our consciousness prisms
Envisioning simple’s complexity nexus
An omnidirectional
Path to perfection  
Intended by makers
Conceived in belief
That we are in fact more
Than a lifetime of grief

If from some great well of wisdom
There would flow the truth
I’d drink my fill and wonder why
It’s wasted on the youth
Who have no bills to pay or mouths to feed
Or reasons to suppress their greed
For sharing isn’t caring
If what all you need is what you want
A picture book to read

So serene and tranquil thoughts convene
Tomorrowland is alien
To you in all your blissful cares
At home with no one there again
Alone inside your little worlds
The ones outside seem big and small
But nothing matters anymore
Except for growing tall
Before you fall into adulthood
And give in to *after all

Mixing the signals
Conflating attraction
With courtesy’s
Chemical
Overreaction
Unwanted attention,
Unflattering flex,
The presumptuous
Ego-dystonic
Wants ***
Nothing less,
Nothing more
Than to finish before
Recollections
Of dignity
Up off the floor
Or reflections
On mirrors
Preparing to split
Personalities
Rift,
We’re just not
Intuit

Not just the absence of light
It’s much worse
An inhabited netherworld
Feel it immerse
You in lonely, forlorn
Raging storms
Of despair
Impecunious
Broken hopes
Beyond repair
To awake
The nightmare
And to dream
The escape
From desertification
You can’t cultivate
A thirst you can not sate
No, despite how the torrential
Rains inundate
The virulent,
Unruliest
Throngs of diseased
Masses begging
And praying
On prostrated knees
The gods still send their plagues
Further north from the jungle
As millions enslaved
Still
To climate-change hunger
Succumb to the rumbling of tummies
Imploding
The bloating unsightly
An air of foreboding
Still looms over me
Not a cloud in the sky
And when blinding
The sun in it
Opens my eyes
To a scenery
Stretching and rolling
Serenely
I can’t help but stare
And at peace
Give a sigh
I suppose there are places
Much worse
I could die

Try to understand
There is no distance
You can run
No stoic mountains
You could climb
To harness gods within the sun
So fret about your idle whims
And give yourselves to my distractions
To my propaganda proxy wars
And post-truth imperfactions
I don’t ask for your allegiance
No robotic pledge of trust
I simply augment every dissident
And leave the cogs to rust
In this machine there is no dream
I do not oversee production of
No show trial injustice served
Without the laws I am above
The spoils system you created
In archaic words brittanic
In the butchers venerated
By your livestock market panic
Then the walls to seal you off
So no escapegoating the ******
Then suspicions are diverted
Like a papist in your play list
Now to bow before the master
Whose ancestors were the slaves
While I disown the private property
Amassing in the graves
And in a state of omnipresent
Fear, unending terror reigns
Welcome to the revolution
All you’ve left to lose, your chains

But then I feel you slipping
In a sickness
Now I’m missing
What began as mostly
Sobering
Confessions,
Awkward kissing
Could become
A purge of toxins
From concoctions
We imbibe
The dark designs
Of what the shadow selves
Cannot keep deep inside
And in an instant
She is distant
After
Afternoons delight
And in the fall of night
She spills her rotten guts
And now I write

For peace is my profession
And I teach it like a Spartan
But my Athens begs the question
Do I come from planet Martian?
To keep council with your leaders
And to teach them how to build
In my likeness amphitheaters
And pay tribute to my guild
My Pax Romana in nirvana
Specializing in the art
Of planting seeds inside Madonnas
With my heathen Eden heart

Decreed to be freed
But in vain
Made to bleed
I can’t read,
I can’t write
And with whites
I can’t breed...
But can still feed their cannibal
Race war machine?

In lonesome night shadows of present and past
In this castle accursed I’ve stared at aghast
Melancholic reflection, despondent visage
As beside me it withers, a loveless corsage
For no belle of the ball in due time would be mine
When the beauty I covet is songs of old rhyme

Sometimes I don't know what to write
I lie awake
Let fingers type
The words that fall
From head-scratch hair
And words that stall
A new nightmare
Of words that shed
The skin I wear
As words that see
The signal flare
Then know to flee  
From my blank stare
Towards something going on in there

Departing my world just to find
That her's I had to leave behind
For the one our love designed
Could not be shared with all mankind
Until the peace I have defined
Transcends the world that is my mind

Now broken
My psyche
No longer excites me
Just seeks to so spitefully
Shatter me nightly
Piece me back together
By day
The day job
Mental health,
Raise awareness,
Dispelling the fog
But surrounded by experts
On shadow self darkness
Still fails to elucidate
My sick at heartness

Makeshift machines
Making me
Out of touch
With a touchscreen reality
In my palm’s clutch

Recklessly decadent self-indulgence
Spent a small fortune
With nothing to show for it
Lusting in lonely nights
Take me away from this
Take all my money
And in return
Offer ***
Next to her lying
In some kind of drunken blur
Slurring my words
Of subconscious
Inside of her
Sating the craving
How long I've been waiting
For someone to save me
From endless enslaving
To raving and raging
Against the unmaking
Of me
I do not wish to be
This man
Anymore

****** expressions
And micro-aggressions
Connections,
Perceptions
And lasting impressions
Still can’t comprehensively
Summarize
Talk
Just communicate
What we
So seemingly
Sought

Try as I may
To tame it,
Rein it in
I can’t contain it
Just evade it as a talking point
And silently disclaim it
It’s the same old story
Reimagined
Beast that kills
The beauty pageant
Tragic downfall
Of the hero  
Bank accounts
Reduced to zero
Sheer calamitous
Despair
Sempiternal
My nightmare
Aware it all
Concludes
In nothing
Life itself
A mere MacGuffin
Stuffed inside
A womb
Entombed
Then by oblivion
Consumed

And as they moved through me
Subdued me
Removed me
From me
I was dying to be,
They renewed me
Imbued me with latent
Amazement
Awakened
By rhapsodies
Captive
Was I
To the fragrant
Effulgent, ephemeral
Flashes of brilliance
In clashes of titans
And gods of Olympus
Divining themselves
From ethereal epics
Eccentric
Poetics
Extant in their shape-shifting  
Peripatetic
Adventure to find
Where the sea
Meets the sky
Where a pure inspiration
Beholdens the eye

Given to mortals
To spark a rebellion
They used it instead
To drop ****** oppression
Reducing to cinders
And smoldering ash
Their symbolic salvation
And piles of trash
Unabashedly brazen
Emblazoned in races
Their banners and books
Conflagration hate nations
The forests consumed
In the climates of change
As the engines of war
Dragon hunger pangs rang
Like the rockets ascending
To bring them to me
But they crashed and they burned
And returned to the sea

We were
Never really
That much to begin with
Just scared of what was
To come next
For us pressed
For a time
By each others'
Beside ourselves
Lovers
Perhaps overstates it
But to me equates it
You still call me brave
But my courage is based in
Security, risk-averse
Playing it safe
Just like what I saw
On your vivacious face
Cautiously I approached
Just as guarded as ever
But let it all down
When I felt us together
I guess just as hopeless
Romanticizations
What isn't, what could be
Need no explanations
And from leaps of faith
I freefell under spells
That still ring in my head
Like the jingle of bells

I teach them of the muses
And I rhyme them as I chooses
This is how I vindicate my sorrows
With etchings of trees sculpted into the sands
With mountains of elegant peace
Cascading from a boundless ocean
Of prosperity
Phantasmic *******
You know where I be
I bend steel to my will
With a stroke of the sword
I spit ancient tongues
I'm the architect the visionary
Building purpose
Defining meaning
Divining life itself you feel me
I could watch these people exist forever
I'm exotic hypnotics
Invading your mind
Yo soy el tempesto
I walk hand in hand with humanity
Just a Dionysian kid

How do we retain
The immortal decay
The immoral array
Of the weapons of men
Who were molded from clay

Perhaps the crystal clearest pool
Or lake of murky mystery
Is the true source
Of all discourse  
That flows to mouths of history

On lips and tongues of consciousness
We pass its streams to quench our minds
Of knowledge thirst
That lies submersed
Until cupped hands drink from its times

Then question how the river flows
Eternally through all we've been
Finding the source
To change its course
By what we take and put back in