The laughable death
Possibility seems
To no longer so dreadfully
Fill me with screams
Only merrily,
Merrily
Rivers of dreams
Flowing into insanity’s
Bottomless screens

Command the ripper,
Create suicide,
Drink despair like it’s nectar,
In darkness confide
Like a satanist
Deep with the secrets
Convene
And in discordant muse
Dialectics
Blaspheme

Didn’t get
To speak my mind
The rest of life
Left me behind
Forgotten
By its innovation
Adaptation
Conflagration
No more home remains
To thrive
Survival, my last right
Denied,
Captivity’s
No place to hide
My species deemed
Undignified
And all I asked
Was peace and plenty
Not so different
From the many
Extirpated
Population
Biospheric
Degradation
Dust within a vacuum
Void
Of even empathy
Destroyed
Barbarians behaving thus
As civilized
As not enough
Consumption stuff
Could bring them back
In tact
Forever
Gone in fact
And never, ever
Coming back

In the morning dread darkness
A comforting calm
Before storms of distress
Offers no sort of balm
To the overload mental
Disorders dismembered
On different directions
I’m pulled and outstretched
A laborious task master
Taxing unrest
Is the only force
Carrying on
To conclusion
To do it
Or just give it up
The illusion
I’m actually qualified,
Capable,
Savvy
With info wars waging
My piece of the happy

Still masking en masse’s
And variant aryans
Nobody wants
A koala on fire
But when it’s a forest
It isn’t as dire
Exorbitant wealth
Little more for myself
I have no reservations,
The hand I’ve been dealt
Not immediate victory
But I make due,
Bend the rules
As I need
To upgrade
Ocean view

Could have these ideas
But no one to believe
They could come to fruition
As what I achieve
Though I see it in others,
Past lovers,
A few
There’s no knowing
For certain
They’d hashtag metoo  
As the unchanging image
Perfected, instilled
Within life passes by,
Daily labor unskilled
Willing it to be more
Doesn’t make it so
Though,
Doesn’t make the plants grow,
Doesn’t reap what I sow,
Foes will ever abound
Around corners
And bends
In the mind
Of no matter
How all of this ends

Commanding machines
To do my
bidding schemes
Merely means to the end
Of all history’s themes
One more stain
Of a racial
In nature
On nations’
Supremacy legacy’s
Story creation
Remembered for glory,
And honor,
And pride
But forgotten by all
Of the commodified

Tasks and podcasts
What I do for a living
Is can’t help but ask
When I fail,
Be forgiving
Please don’t get frustrated
Irate with me,
Makes me
Go crazy
In shellshocked anxiety
Coming off lazy,
Aloof
Or ungrateful,
Another white privilege kid’s
Pride is disgraceful
But only to eyes
Of untrained
Office spaces,
I see through their looking
Class consciousness
Faces

Making myself
Right at home
In new places
A slight sense of danger
Inside your safe spaces
And into the inner
Circles
Infiltrate
Like a viral,
Hard-wired
User’s
Interface
With machines
I can seamlessly
Communicate
As if secret codes
Weren’t embedded
In flesh
And the numbers
That give them
Emotions,
Expressed

Oasis of duplicitous plenty
Its criminal overworld
Dripping its leaks
From a rusty, dystopian
Faucet ****’s squeaks
And I sneak
For the scraps
In the back
Making stacks
Of their precious supply of
The liquidized facts
Soon enough
The untenable
Fragile
Facade
Shall come crashing down,
As we drown,
In the mirage

Now broken
My psyche
No longer excites me
Just seeks to so spitefully
Shatter me nightly
Piece me back together
By day
The day job
Mental health,
Raise awareness,
Dispelling the fog
But surrounded by experts
On shadow self darkness
Still fails to elucidate
My sick at heartness

My luminous thralldom
Plunged back into war
I could not save a soul
Mine was nevermore
Sure
And the traveler
Side of me
Once optimistic
Fell prey to the death of ideals
Unrealistic
There was no escape
Nowhere else the tale goes
Though I found a few hiding spots,
Highs were still lows
I felt useless,
Abused,
Disaffected
Confused
And with each passing day
Became more a recluse
And I could not excuse
My aberrant behavior,
Attempts to explain
Only made me seem stranger
The anger again
Was what woke me from bed
Or else probably would
Have just laid there
All dead

Still never underestimate the peasantry
The plenary
Pie in the sky
Deified
Penitentiary
Since humans are
Simplest of
A life’s forms
Only one
Lives for more
Than existence’s
Norms

Still rising
And writhing
In bellies of beasts
Like a maggot-filled carcass,
In darkness
I feast
Beneath criminal underworlds,  
First come to serve
And just might
Get the labor force
Striking  
A nerve

Some art this weekend
No less
Don’t know nothing about it
I just like the stress
Of interpreting languages
Someone can paint
Guess I’m just a romantically
Hopeless
Restraint
On the pawns
And the puppets
The sheep
And the saints
Just constraints
On the ranks,
On the tanks,
On the skanks
I just want to control
The whole show
And rob banks

And she’s not
Coming back
Dreadful fact,
Drop the act
Your just mirror and smoking
The unspoken pact
Perhaps it
Could have lasted
And withered away
Still at least in the sight of her
Aging and gray
Waste away with me,
Lay with me,
Bask here all day with me
I ran astray
You were my
Scared of death delay
One greater reason
To actually care
To despair less in knowing
I’m all too aware
It was barely a blink
In the lifespan of time
It was scarcely-resourcing
Discourses
Of mind
And yet mine is here wondering
Onward into
Was it me who so tragically
Failed to love you

Irrelevant to anything
And relative to everything
Irreverent and vengeful
I just let vendettas fester
Irrespective of the damage
That it does,
Leaves me a specter
Of intuitive  
Construed
As disapproval
Of the members
Of society
Dismembered
From futility attempts
To settle conflicts,
But engendered
Is this neutral and submissive
Craving orderly
Pretense
But still regardless
Never shown
And never known
My true intents

False flags,
Fallen idols
Are flatlining vitals
Declines of empires
Who can’t feed their people
Distractions of
Factions of
Separate but equal
And even the pretense
Democracy wanes
Until only
The cash-cropper’s
Judgment remains
As the guild
Fixes prices,
Elections,
Opinions
But can’t repair roads
Lead to Roman dominion

I don’t envy wealth
Redistribute its health
Comprehend its convenience
And savor the self
Long enough to destroy
At the end of fear
Void
Unemployed
Still deploying
My droids
Opioid
Like imperial fleets’
Archaeopteryx
Vision
All Rhodes of Colossus
Still bow in submission
To vanity’s
Villainy
Guilt
Contribution
The filth
Of free trade’s
Ethnic cleansing solution
The hack in the tax hiking
Ryker’s
Next door
We’re the youth who inherit
The engines of war
And will staff its advances
With hardwired sects
Of the next level
Technocrat’s
Spoiled execs
And we’ll show you
Who runs the world
Kids of the west

Wandering aimlessly
Never in vain
But this weekend
I couldn’t find
Where the right way
Was directed,
Expected
To be at my car
In a matter of minutes
But ended up far
From its parking space
Downtown and bound
For another night ruined
And in its shame
Crowned

Informed to form
My firm opinion
Not my friend
Just yet
Regret
A little more
Before
Then talk,
I am the scarecrow
On the stalk
The laughing stock
Holders in stocks
And still I shock
The mock show
Trial
Dam nations
Like a sun of the Nile
Reviled for spreading
My virus papyrus
And bleeding peripheries
Dry of supplies
Like the juror within
Privatized little spies
Just bejeweled
In the severed crown’s
Israeli ties

When even the bosses
Are kind of cool
Why feel compelled
To overrule
No need to play the fool
To lead
Remain seated
Pretend to read
Or carry on
And take to task
If I’m not sure
I simply ask
In confidence
No stupid questions
Just me listing
Speaker sessions
For the annual
Objective
Your just cause
Is just my breakfast

Guess I missed my meat today
Still satiate
My need to slay
Shade-casting
For my ego play
With ruffled feathers
On display
The never nether
Worldlier
Than isolationist
Dissent
Lament my oldest friend
Adorns
Me in cocoons of decadent
Ecstatic status
Boost caffeine
The fiend,
The dream,
Anthropocene

Memorizing names leads to the forgetfulness of the concept

Where’s the drive dude?
Still just shootin’

Never write another word
If it meant
Being
Right
Beside you
Heard

I control the stories
Said the imperialist

Can’t do anything
Write
So much my fingers hurt

An imperial power
Comes into a ****** land
Against her will

Chasin’ monsters
Now you are one

And still am the infinite
Nothingness matters
Still leavin’ the labels
On fables
In tatters

So carnivorous sheep,
Telling me what to eat
Check your life-
Taking knife
Before swallowing meat
Or just leave me alone,
You know?
Why even go?
Down that road
When the river,
Though withering
Flows
Not unto the dead end
Of development goals
But to refuse-seas rising
To diamonds from coals

Single days are rarely so monumental
So metal,
Tea kettle,
A sea in the breeze
Of the crimson rose petal
Bed leveling
Be devil
Letters
Unfettered
And spell-casting
Summoning
Armies of fiends
And with mastery
Stimulate
Wildest dreams
Like a Green Revolution
Not littered in red
Like the golden boy
Peace keeper’s
Hole in the head
I learned most of the time
Time is not on your side
So disguise
Be advised
I’m goodbye cyanide
And I change the course
Only
To keep it free earth
Not what capital Pigs
Think their ego is worth

Be my nihilist bride
Or my activist pride
Just confide unreservedly
Deepest dark side
‘Cause I’m not a type guy
Just respond well to kind
To compassion
Attraction
To nourish my mind
Stimulate it with questions
Then bore me to tears
Stay up unto the dawn with me
Sharing your fears
Then exemplify
Every day after
Resolve
To with me
Or without me
Still strive to evolve
To improve
On your still left to lose
Inhibitions
Unless we’re both trippin’
On pure intuition
And then can the chemistry’s
Most volatile
Compatible match
Validate your profile

Got to be
A better way
I hardly said
A word today
But nothing’s wrong
Just incomplete
Whole part of me
Is missing
Speak
About it
Doesn’t end the issue
Doesn’t stay
How much I miss you
From advancing
To the fore
Front of my mind
And waging war
Upon the never quite
At peace
Entirely
Until released
From manacles
Of memory’s
Mechanical
Sincerity
The artificial verity
I barely could contain
With or without you
Doesn’t matter
Dying all the same

Forget where I’m headed
Sometimes
And just go
Find myself
At the edge
Of the continental
By the shore
Have I come
To bask in
The serenity
Breezes and waves
Shouldn’t sound like
A threnody
For what
I also lost
Prone to adrift
Before foresight
Could picture me
Not in her missed

Still mystifies me
Denies peace of mind
In defining transformative moments
Confined
To unfortunate
Course of events
And gradations,
The vagaries
Replaying vague
Illustrations
Hallucinations
Just as faint
Of heart now
Just as broken
As spoken word’s
Surety vow
Maybe once upon times
Almost unrecognizable
Some grand delusion
Of love was advisable
But currently
Only counter-intuits
The passion we had
For its toxic pollutants

Unaccustomed
To trusting
The best have to offer
More characteristics
Than sealed in a coffer
A coffin
Too often
More fiscally sound
To be monetized tiding’s
Safe hole in the ground
Get around
Getting by
Make a name for yourself
Just deny what you used to think
It could be felt
As the tired
Aspiring,
Expired
Potential
Succumb to the worthlessness
Truth existential

Ask me again
What is wrong,
Favorite song
And I harp on it
Often
You can
Sing along
But presume
I can’t possibly be
Happily
As deluded
As all of the rest of you
Seem
And I’d have to object
My abject
Misery
Comes more naturally
Born
To the world’s
Savagery

Should there come a day
I have written enough
Can no longer convey
The intangible stuff
That composes my inner-most
Ghosts
I expose
Hope it shows to those
I cannot tell
Stories whole
Then suppose
All is said,
All is done,
All becomes
Just a life without stories,
More heroes unsung
But fear not
My dear reader
This art is for you
And for me
That’s the key
To how do you construe
Its renewal
Original
Updated version?
A boundless oasis
Creation desertion
Or some more immersive form’s
Faulty
Finality,
Maladies there
In the interim’s
Tragedies

Missed a spot
Washing some dishes
Tonight
For a little chump change
And incentive to write
That I guess I could do it
Each day
The pay’s good
And I’m welcomed by others
As anyone would
Want to be
Received, greeted
Instructed, entrusted
The work is completed
We all go home rusted

Finally acquiesced
And made a dating app
Profile
Been a while
Since I had
A touch of really made me smile
Didn’t know the best descriptions
For myself
Relied on pics
To watch the likes roll in
And revel in
The hottest,
Choicest picks
As if objectifying beauty
Wasn’t so played out already
As if every user’s only chasing
Ego-boosted heady
Looping feedback
On the feed,
On the look at me
And breed
With 1 percent of my persona
Other 99
Unseen

Bringing me in
I’m on board
With the cause
And I’m willing to look past
Its for-profit flaws
Must be there in the making
The taking
Of funding
The radioactive waste
Chemical dumping
Discrepancies glaring
And some
Surreptitious
As shady deals finalized
Factions fictitious
One-sided dimension
Community’s build
A like-minded utopian
Exclusive guild

Waiting game
Changing
And entering overtime
Interviews better
Unfolding
Inside my mind
Where I don’t have to be
Dressed to impress
To be nervous-calm
Nullified’s
Stuttering mess
But the pressure
Is lifted
By others of vision
Who understand
Novice’s provenance
Mission
Begins with intentions
And ends with the skills
Understands I am here
Not to merely pay bills

Missed you a lot
As I drove off the lot
As I rode out of sight
To foreboding distraught  
Travel time is too long
Destination is final
Without you
I’m already
Dead on arrival

Hire me,
Fire me
Couldn’t inspire me
Just give me something to do
Besides piracy
Get me back out in the world
Be a part
Of some start up
To fill up
My grocery cart
For I’ve taken to heart
Far too many
Investments
Of time
I laid waste
To my rotten intestines

Long lost
Tired toil feeling
Hard work seldom
More appealing
Sore on every corner
Poor
In every way
You can’t ignore
Just let me make some money
Daily
Maybe meet
A pretty lady
Lately that seems
Nigh unlikely
Half my bed is empty
Nightly
Only slightly
Fear the worst
That gifted girl
Left me accursed
Whole world reversed
And snapped me back
On track to death
By heart attack

Ah
No way
Don’t do that to me
It was on its way down
And you weren’t there to see
Shattered fragments
Of traumatic
Past transgression
Infamy
As plainly as
I can explain
The common knowledge
Global reign
The stories still
Beyond belief
As bleed a tree
And bleach the reef
And grief can’t sleep
Still trades in sheep
The fief is mine alone
To own
The leaflet is
My precious stone
A thief within
The phantom zone

This community
Of color
Is a dark distorted lover
Off the lot
Missed her a lot
When you’re the arid swamp
Despot
And misbegotten
Bird of mocking
Make the penman
Fill the plot
And not a thought is lost
On motions passed
In petty Freddy Gray
In petty cash,
In gaseous masks
In play bills on parade
Just herbal verbal
supplementals
Twigs and cap and spores
And scores of elemental
Muses
Understory roars
When force alone
Can often turn
The people on the camera
And suddenly it’s like
Entire worlds
Are out to scam ‘ya
It’s a capital imperial
Dominion
Taking hold
And Capitol-attacking
Masses
Who still want it for
The gold

Another step closer
To hitting the road
On my own again
I intend
To bring it home
And I’m trying
Ambitious as ever
To make it
To seek the best fit
And then someday forsake it
For now I must break with
The dream
Temporarily
Maybe forever
From childhood fantasies
Fading to never

Yet even now
Still hope you’re reading
Even if it’s just a fleeting
Skimming of
The haunted house
Within it ghosts
Still boast about
Priceless possessions
How they dig
The grave reflections
Like Narcissus
Smoke and mirrors
Darkly lit
Yet starkly clearer
Oddly somehow
All makes sense
A cosmic joke
At my expense
Dispenses with
Unfinished business
No illusions
Left to witness
Just remains
And acid rains
The single mind
In many brains
Material
Dissolving in
Ethereal
Embodiments

Dearest one
Wasn’t one
Single mistaken
Heart breaking
Before
It was even us
Making
It up as we went along
Somehow connected
Unbound
And unburdened
Affections
Defected
From system schismatics
Too ******-frenetic
Forget it
It’s better off
Dead and regretted

Can’t be changed
Without action
‘Till then it’s just words
Movement gains
Create traction
By practicing verbs
But perhaps paradoxically
Both coincide
If you think about doing
In all forms of rhyme
For the pen, like a sword
Is a weapon you wield
And to foes of the former
The latter revealed
Inspiration to wage
The just causes belie
That you don’t need to ****
To still powers defy

When it really comes down to it
Instinct is key
Solutions you don’t conclude
Rationally
Although naturally yield
An appealing
Fanfare
Popularity contest
To racialize hair
Unaware
That the struggle
Does not even care
When it’s hungry
And pushed to the brink
Of extinction
Detained
In a cage
Like a subhuman species
So why try to train
What does not want to learn
Your new tricks
Why insist
Making it
Your concern?

Opted out
Got back in
Couldn’t live there again
I chose racing with rats
Over ones on my skin
Crawling off its embrace
Of my gaunt skeleton
Gnawing at my subconscious
Insomniac guilt
Where fecundity blooms
It shall soon enough wilt
And what built its decay
Domicile exile
Expires, erodes
No abode is worthwhile
Eventually I
Would abandon the home
For the first opportunity
Onward to roam
Be it so
Upon continents
Drifting away
Or domestic tranquility
Muted and gray

From rock bottom
Feeding
Leech feasting
Deceit
Has my vanity swelled
To where deities weep
And it watered the earth
With vitality tears
And then salted its worth
In a graveyard of fears
But availed no tomorrow
Unveiled in the fog
Just foreshadowed the ashes’
Aghast acrid smog
Some would laud
As if progress
Need darken the sky
As if flawed by design’s
A commodified lie
Yet another price tag
On a plastic bag
Flag
‘Till the last human
Life bullet
Empties the mag
And dragged into
A sooner
Or later
Creator
The maker you meet
Is a fake
Simulator

Mistaken for an older
Colder
Closer to
Collapsing over
Almost over
Final chapter
Epilogue’s
Not coming after
Nor the sequel
Just forget it
Savor desperation
Let it
Push you to the brink
Of sink
And make your alter-ego
Shrink
Relinquishing the hero’s tale
Accept that by the end you failed
To draw your perfect dreams
To scale