It is 4 AM and the indigo of dawn
has crept up behind the dark
mass of clouds, tendrils
of wispy sky shadow
can be made out
as its glow indicates
the path Apollo's chariot
will cut through the night in four hours.

Near two millennia ago a human once wrote:
“Dwell on the beauty of life. Watch the stars,
And see yourself running with them.”
Near two millennia from now a human might read
what words I've written and find me
whilst trawling through the hopes and dreams
of someone so far away.
Somebody saw something of beauty, they reach out
through the ages to pass it on;
Their feeling encapsulated,
Their reason  preserved,
Their spirit remembered
as for a moment they are disclosed.

Even if all I have to say is a word
for the light of the horizon
as it creeps unto dawn,
I am in your mind
briefly. I forget there's so much
I want to live for sometimes
so I write something
to remind me.

You didn't listen to Stevie at dinner when she told you,
" now here you go again you say, you want your freedom"
Well, who am I to keep to down?
Sign your record deals
You didn't let my long sleep last
It was warm
and
blue rose buds
The hopscotch grid faded
with falling rain
lightening,
Your hands were water
in the desert
And I,
I need the cicadas
The green things
quiet
Black breezes
Blue roses
And cicadas
My tears
are
******* and whisky
You,
are the infections
of the
Uninsured
And trump is
King
Die now
if you've any sense
But never forget
The blue roses
And
Black breezes...

I see beauty in dark places
Like diamonds in a mine
Some gems are rough,
In need of polish
But I hate to see waste
And find potential in all
Some sparkle where, in others,
Elegance may be understated
Personally I like those best
The most valuable treasures in life
Are often those which were hardest to find

A gentle touch
That wind blows off.

A piece of dust,
A flake of rust.

A scornful lover's kiss,
Bitter and hard to miss.

A fly on a white wall,
In a room full of frogs.

A crumb, an ant
A shard of glass.

This is all that I have,
This is all that I am.

Roughly,

Nothing.

-SLuR

Face entwined in plastic lines,
Neck of twine and foggy mind.
This air is mine, as time declines
I feel okay, I feel alright
As pain and panic climb up high.
My lungs constrict and
Twiggy arms twist;
Tied behind, restricted movement
I can feel myself slip,
This is it, this is it
My body rejects but gives in.
Muted gasps play behind music,
I feel okay, I feel sick
Then suddenly it rips,
And my tongue tastes air of ****
Withered lungs savor it, as
Bittered buds cry with spit.
No tears emit from judging eyes,
No 'why's or cries, just familiar quiet.
I'm fine, I'm fine just leave me in silence.

I could never do anything right.

Caught
Distraught
Endured the pain for naught
Escape is my godly crutch
Into eyes my fingers push
Make me blind from all that hurts
Failure.
Failure
Failure.
Reel away this deadly lure
Let me swim in the unfamiliar
Just give me something good for once
This pain, this pain I've had enough
Don't clutch my thoughts
I've given up.


Trying so hard to feel god's touch
He eludes me every time
So suffer I must
With sickly mind anchored in dust
My arms too weak to pull it up
I strain to feel some happiness
To love the burn of sunlight's kiss
The moon pulls tides of negative
High, in my skull where demons live
Under waves of complete darkness

I'll find the light
I'll try to live
Coax my aching legs to kick
Move my weak body to swim
Until the tides have given in.

I'm sorry you had to see me so pathetic
Squirming so hectic
I regret it, I regret it
I'll ignore the pain that bores
Beneath eyelids
I'll give myself to the light
And hope I find it

I'll let myself curl up and die
When my body and time decides.
Innately, following Mother's lines.

I could never do anything right.

You weren't supposed to come home tonight.

-SLuR