I remember,
As a child,
The loneliness that
Pulled at my chest,
Thinning my heart
Until it stretched so far
I couldn't see the ends.

And I'd cry.
And I'd think.

And I'd think that
All I needed was a little bit of love.
A little bit of adoration
From manlier lips,
A kiss.

So I'd try
And I'd cry,
Because the more I tried,
The more I failed.

And it's kind of funny now,
Because kisses only seem
To make me lonelier.
And in the middle of a crowd now,
I die.

I'm still sad inside.

Do you remember,
first day of last september?
We said goodbye,
you cried,
I wiped the tears from your eyes with my lips.
Can we go back?
When you were safe in my arms, and I was mesmerized by your charm.
 
I miss you, your silly laugh the way you walk, babe can we go back?
 
When we laughed till will cried,
then kissed till we were satisfied.
Lying in the sand,
will you hold my hand, again?
Oh darling it's not the same,
when you're not the one calling my name.
Can we go back?
Where the whole world stopped just for us, two stupid kids so it must have been something special.
 
Cause I miss your smile and running my fingers through your hair,
and your voice when you sang, and the clothes you wear. Babe can we go back?
 
Do you remember,
first day of last september?
Can we go back and make that day the rest of our lives? Babe can we go back?

When I came to visit you
You were still writing in that notebook
And when you looked up
A hopeful gaze, a trusting embrace
I sat down beside you
It almost hurt to do so
We hadn't talked in so long
But you were always busy with your new theories
Always figuring something out
You continued to scribble on
As if I wasn't there
But then stopped abruptly
You twisted the pen this way and that
Before you pointed at my hand over and over again
I looked down at the band that encircled my finger
You should have known I would've moved on
I could see the questions swirling in that mind of yours
So I told you the story
We met my first year of college
He was Mr. Nice
The kind of guy who still had manners
Who opened the door for a woman
He was smart and sweet and there
He focused on what was important
It was our junior year when he asked me to marry him
I told him yes
I would marry him
I noticed at this point you went back to writing
You had tuned me out
I came all this way to visit you
And you couldn't stop writing for a minute
So I grabbed your pen and threw it somewhere far away
I grasped your arm and told you to listen to what I had to say
Your blues eyes stared wide-eyed into mine
I sighed, knowing you were upset
I would probably regret that
But I wanted you to listen
Because you never do
I told him yes
Do you not get that
I told him yes
Yes, yes, do you not understand
What that means?
You turned and looked at me with such anger
And for a moment I was glad
You felt something inside come alive
Something you couldn't quite explain
A formula that didn't exist in that pen and pad
Yeah, I understand perfectly
You said
No, you don’t
You looked away
And threw your pad to the side
As you drew your hands together, clenched and tight
I don’t know what you want me to get
To understand
You whispered
Trying to calm down
I said yes
—I get that
You said "yes" I understand
—No you don’t
I said yes, which means I gave up you
I gave up the opportunity to be with you
Because I loved you
And you never saw that
You never looked past that stupid pen and pad
So I said yes to someone who would
Who would love me in all aspects
Treat with me respect
I said yes to that
You reached over and grabbed my hand
I closed my eyes
Warmth flooded in
Tears were flowing down
And I didn't have the strength
To pull away
To leave
Because you still made me feel
Something I never can feel with him
So I open my eyes and whisper in the dawning light
Tell me you love me
Say you love me too
Because I know you do
You can’t explain it
And that kills you
Because you want so badly to
You don’t understand what's happening
How you’re feeling
There’s no formula
No equation, just your heart
Not your mind, so say it
I need to hear it
Please, tell me
*Say you love me too