How can one person make you feel so warm inside, but internally dead at the same time?

"I always got the sense that he became torn between being a good person and missing out on all of the opportunities that life could offer a man as magnificent as him.
And in that way, I understood him."

"Did you look at the stars and think of me too?"

"Enjoy your life always looking for more but feeling nothing"
Oh, what an empty slap in the face that was.

The toxic wounds you have left on my heart still echo through my mind to this day.
In this altered state of consciousness your voice runs through my head.
Pictures, images. Smiles, glances, touch.
Images of your imperfections that I grew to find perfect.
Feelings attached to these moments of time-- images.
As I drift off now, I wonder about you. Where you may be, or who with.
You are toxic to me, and you were never afraid to hurt my feelings.
We were kids-- but the love I felt for you was so real.
I am certain I will never that feel again.

Thank you.
Thank you for making me forget the stars.
Though they are always watching,
You silenced their shine.
They brought you to me,
Making you mine.
And for that I love you.