I like the different months
How each one brings new experiences
And holds the birth of those
That mean the most to me

Like January
Bringing in a new year
And a fresh start
Just as my father taught me
Out with the old, in with the new

And February
How it reminds us of love
Filling our hearts with joy
Just as my best friend
Does for me daily

Along comes March
Oh, **** and brilliant March
The start of a new season
Just like she sparked something new
Inside of me

Followed by April
Bright and colorful April
Showers water the flowers
Just like my soul sister and I
Relish in fun times together

Next is May
Shiny and strong like the sun
Marks the beginning of summer
My brother and I kayak
And bond in the deep heat of Texas

After May is June
Marking the longest daylight hours
Of the whole year
My mother is a June baby
And she is my light in the dark, my pearl

Scorching July rolls through
Fast paced and chaotic
The peak of summer
I recall Camp Longhorn
And all the girls I got to enjoy it with

Autumn begins with bold August
School commences
New opportunities arise
Who better to experience them with
Than my favorite twins

September arrives
Wake me up when it ends
This month reminds me of how
I no longer have my best friend
Once always older than me
Now it is I who takes the lead

October brings orange and deep reds
Soothing hot tea and cuddles
Almost as soothing as both my grandparents
My true greatest examples
Of what it's like to be a warrior

Thankful for November
The time to reflect over the year
Thankful for being alive
Thankful for all who was ever born
And blessed my life

And last but not least
December
Oh what a weird time
Since the birthday celebrated this month
Is mine

If only you knew
About all the secrets
Your sister so sneakily
Hides from you
Like the ones she has
About me

We started off tragic
And we ended that way too

Despite every morning
Feeling anger and sadness
Regret and disgust
I still remember feeling
All of the lust

It's hard to interpret
Exactly what I want
My feelings are so mixed
One day I'm longing for you
The next day I'm ******

I read people well
I have always known
Where your heart resides
It's never been with me
I'm not sure why I even tried

You're not the only one
That I've ever loved
But I feel such a strong attraction
That I've never felt
Towards someone so foreign

You have such a perfect face
Your eyes hypnotize
And your lips tease
Your whole entire body
Gets me begging you "please"

I firmly believe for as long as I live
That I will always want you
Your heart, body, and soul
You're my only weakness
You'll always be a part of my whole

Sometimes I sit on my bed
Looking at your picture
Your smiling face
Your bright eyes
Oh how wonderful
You made my life

Sometimes I cry & put on Pink Floyd
We used to listen together
About life and struggles
We would talk deeply
We were the only deep ones
That's right, just you and me

Sometimes I wonder where your spirit has gone
Are you soaring in nature?
Are you smiling down from heaven?
That beautiful smile I miss so much
How I wish to see your face
How I wish for one last touch

Sometimes I feel my memories start to fade
But all it takes is a smell
Or a song, maybe an image
And they all rush back to me
At times it can feel so real
Can't believe I lost you completely

Your death is my reminder
To never waste a second
I love you my best friend, my lover
And I'll always long for you
And I'll always cherish all
That we ever went through

If you try to hurt me with your words
You fail
Because I've completely eliminated you
From my heart
From my mind
If you think I care about someone
Who doesn't care about me
Think again
You couldn't be more wrong
I have nothing left for you
Nothing
Except for regret
I regret you
But I got over that regret
The second I got rid of you
The second my eyes were opened
By someone who's actually worthy of my love

I'm not the only lying *****
How many times did you tell me one thing
But you meant another
You're a manipulative witch
Using people for your own benefit
It's taken a while
But I've finally woken up
You're just a stupid phase
A nothing
I mean, how could I possibly love someone
I've never met or even really spoken to
How could I love someone
That has such a vindictive heart
At least I'm remorseful for my actions
But in you there's no ounce
Of empathy, sympathy, or even kindness
At least not any that I've seen
I'm the one who is genuine
I'm the one who cared
I'm the one who loved
So am I the liar?
Or are you?

The guy that takes good care of me
Buys me medicine when I'm sick
Buys me food when I'm hungry
Takes me out on dates
Really knows how to love me

The guy that comforts me when I'm sad
Holds me close to his heart
Caresses my back with his strong hands
Plays with my hair to soothe my soul
Really knows how to understand

The guy that has fun with me daily
We smile and we laugh
We're like little children
The games make my heart sing
Really knows how to win

The guy that sees me for who I am
Looks past my flaws and imperfections
So kindly deals with my insecurities
And tells me I'm beautiful
Really knows ******* my worries

The guy that is my best friend
My one and only confidant
My soulmate since forever
He's my everything, my all
Really knows how to get her

The guy that I give my heart to
The guy that is worth all my time
The guy that always comes through
The guy that I'm fortunate to call mine

Dear Brother,
Today we partook in something
Mother wouldn't have been proud of
We tried to keep it a secret
But mothers know all
I wanted to wait for another time
I wanted to do it a different way
Be responsible
But I gave in to your rookie ways
Wanted to be the cool sister
And provide for you what my little bro wanted
Just to have a little fun
Now I'm in trouble
I take the blame for you
I won't let mom find out
But let this be a lesson for the both of us
Listen to your older, wiser sister
And the fun can still take place
But until then, I'll take this fall
And accept the consequences
Because I love you so
And don't want our mother
Looking at you the way she looks at me
Disappointed

I'm thankful for God
I'm infinitely blessed
And without Him
I'd have no strength

I'm thankful for my family
They're my pillar in this world
My support system
My purpose

I'm thankful for my dog
I've never known such an unconditional love
My dog is my light
An extension of me

I'm thankful for my friends
The ones that have my back
And tell me the truth
We laugh together, think together
Expanding our minds

I'm thankful for the boy
Who gives me his whole heart
Says I'm his saving grace
He makes me feel worthy
Of the world

I'm thankful for my university
The thing that gives me hope
Makes me feel like I have direction
And a fighting chance in this society

I'm thankful for the mistakes
For they taught me how to grow
And better myself
Be the real me

I'm thankful to those who have wronged me
The liars, players, cheaters, and users
They've shown me what I really deserve
And what not to tolerate

I'm thankful for nature
Where I find peace in solitude
The flowers, the sun, the moon, and stars
They're my guide to faith and positivity

Lastly,
I'm thankful for my poetry
Even though I'm not the best
It's given me a place to express myself
When I had no where else to go

relief is such a good feeling
all that weight off your shoulders
you can now start over
your head is suddenly clear
contentment is near
the past is behind you
taught you things you never knew
you're ready for the future
you've healed all your sutures
now life is on your side
you've gotten over your pride
the light at the tunnel is beginning to shine
once so low but now feeling fine
life has a way of working out
there is no reason to doubt
fate has in store something great
sometimes you just have to wait
relief is such a good feeling
no more false hope
or walking on a tight rope
positivity takes over the negative
and now you begin again

I know you don't care
So stop pretending you do

I'm curled up and cold
No matter how I bundle up
I never get warm
My heart is frozen
My tears keep me company
From all the emptiness
I feel within me
My soul aches
From a hunger so strong
But there's nothing here to nourish me
This pain is so real
I feel myself bleeding
From the inside out
Curled up and cold
Starting to close my eyes
So that I can drift away
Into a dream
The only place I'm loved
The only place I'm wanted
Reality is just too hard
I don't want to go on
So I'm curled up and cold
In a few minutes I'll be asleep
And for the hours that I'm away
I'll be a little bit okay

Sometimes I forget
The way my heart raced rapidly
Or the way my stomach turned
Sometimes I forget
The way I couldn't do anything
Or go anywhere
Without thinking of you
Or talking to you
Nor did I want to
I didn't want any second
To be spent apart
Sometimes I forget
No matter what time of day
Dawn, afternoon, night
We would get so wrapped up
In each other, in the lust of it all
And completely give in
To a time of sin
It was so blissful
I felt it, it was so strong
Sometimes I forget
How much you'd need me
And how much I'd need you
There was such a yearning
And longing between us
You were my oxygen
My drug of choice
Sometimes I forget
The smile on my face
That would never leave
Everyone would wonder
Who or what
I was so wrapped up in
Little did they know
It was someone I loved
More than I had loved before
And these are the reasons why
It's impossible to ever forget you
You're always in my heart
Always occupying my mind
The presence of you
Will always linger
You were a part of me
And you forever will be

You can help one or many
Solve plenty of issues
But make sure you
Surround yourself
With those who'd do the same

I never knew that my
Deepest
Darkest
And dirtiest sin
Would attract someone so new
And so kind
Who knew
That someone could view my actions
In a different light
Calling it romantic
And selfless
I am suddenly understood
And it's such a nice surprise
To make a new friend
Or more
With someone
Who seems to genuinely
Want, care, and need me

I'm starting to care
Less and less
Mainly because
I've been made numb
And looked dumb
Too many times

You taste like **** and beer
Oddly, I like it
Probably because it reminds me
Of your tainted soul
Which is the very reason
Why I love you so

There have been a few
To capture my love
But never one like you
You're situated way above

There is something remarkable
About your whole composition
Mind, body, and soul
A very special edition

My whole heart beats for you
I've never wanted something more
Our precious love is long over due
You are precisely what I live for

It is impossible to neglect
The fire you ignited within me
It burns bright and takes effect
Growing bigger by a large degree

Baby, your sweet existence
Is enough to make me smile
And the fact that you share it
Makes living so worthwhile

Because life is a crazy thing
Never go away or leave my side
Kiss me and soften the sting
To happiness, you are my guide

The past few months I’ve been living a life
Different from any life I’ve ever known
I go every day completely absorbed
In the wrong thing, the wrong person
How is it that I have been brought to here?
I wish I never would have done
What I did
Because then I wouldn’t be
Where I am
I’ve always been a lover
I’ve always known deep love
But this love, this is different
I don’t know if it is good or bad
But mostly, it brings me heartache
They say love ultimately brings happiness
Well not for me
I’ve broken people’s hearts
And I’ve had my heart broken
What about brokenness
Brings happiness?
Does anything ever last?
You don’t miss me
You miss the feelings I used to give you
No one ever showed you a love such as mine
Where did your love even go?
Mine stays sitting right here
Right in its chair
In the corner of my heart
And the crevices of my mind
Lingering and slowly fading away
I really want it to stay
But if it is just left there to be alone
It will eventually
Be gone
And I am afraid that that
Is what has already begun
To happen

I don't have a solution for everything
I'm only human

My wildest dream
My deadliest fantasy
Both belong to you

I'm sorry for coming onto you
Much too strong
I know that it's wrong
I should keep my distance
It's just hard to practice resistance
But I'll try for you
Cuz there's nothin left for me to do

I'm doomed
I'm so whipped
I want you attached
Right to my hip

These thoughts of you
Never dissipate
Your *** is
All I anticipate

Every time I think of you
It really turns me on
It feels so good
It feels so wrong

I've never felt
Such a strong
Urge
Want
Need
I go
Wherever
You lead

This is so deeply rooted
In my mind
In my heart
In my body
That's how I know it's real
It's why I want you
Beside me

It would be torture
To live without you
So I'm really hoping
I don't have to

It's hard to say goodbye
But it's a whole lot better than living a lie

I wish I could hate you
And get rid of all these feelings
I wish I'd never met you
All it does is make me crazy
I'm an obsessed freak
I wish I didn't care at all
And that you never crossed my mind
Rather than constantly be
My number one thought
It torments my brain
I don't understand where my feelings stem from
You're not even in my life
Not even a little bit
So why do I always find myself
Sitting around thinking about only you
It's really not fair
I pray every day that these feelings may one day fade
It only cause me heartache and pain
I've never felt so emotionally dissatisfied in my life
It will be a miracle if this ever leaves me
But miracles can happen, right?
I just want to reverse back time
And never even learn your name
But I guess things happen for a reason
Now I'll never be the same

I should stay away
Not good for anything anyway
That's why I'm never chosen
Ever

Some people are insecure
About their ****** features
Their nose
Their eyes
Their chin
Their ears
Their mouth
Maybe others are insecure
With their body type
Perhaps they don't like
Their arms
Their legs
Their ****
Their chest
Their stomach
And so on
A few are destined to hate
Their distraught mind
The one that makes them go
Nuts
Their thoughts get them in trouble
With themselves
With their family
With their friends
With their peers
Some folk tend to really
Self critique
Self judge
Self hate
To the point of destruction
I wish some people could realize
That they're beautiful in another person's eyes
And the things that they hate
Are the things we others love