A girl I trusted told me that she understood


I did not believe her

To protect and serve emblazoned bright
They are the ones who will always fight
Fight for you and fight for me
Coming at your every plea
You roll your eyes and say "**** the fuzz"
So why should they come when trouble does?
Those men out there,the ones in blue
Risk their lives and it's all for you
So if my daddy doesn't come home today
What the hell could you possibly say?
What could ever make it right
When it was for you he had to fight

Where are you daddy?
Mommy won't stop crying.
I hear her at night.
She says she's alright.
But I can tell she's losing the fight.

Where are you daddy?
I can't sleep now.
You haven't told me the story about the little cow.
Mommy tries her best.
She starts off good.
But she can never remember the rest.

Where are you daddy?
I sit by the window everyday.
Just hoping you'll come home one day and stay.
I cry when I realize you won't show up.
I cry so hard, mommy's afraid I'll throw up.            

Where are you daddy?
Why did you leave us all alone?
Without you, this house doesn't feel like a home.
It feels like something's out of place.
Maybe it's your missing face.

Where are you daddy?
You weren't there to kiss me goodbye on my first day of school.
You weren't there to teach me to swim in the pool.
You weren't there to see me ride a bike.
You weren't there to see me fly my first kite.
Mommy was there for those things.
When you left, she became the wind beneath my wings.

Where are you daddy?
I need you to tuck me in at night.
I need you to turn on my night-light.
I need you to leave the door cracked, some light shining through.
I need you to scare away any monsters that might say "Boo!"
You can’t do those things daddy, because you're not here and I don't know where your at.
If you can hear me, wherever you are, I only ask one thing: Please come back.

All the pain just pumps through
Every last capillary, artery and vein
Night and day it builds and clots
I can no longer endure this pain

My heart pumps faster and faster
As if I'm doing a serious of sprints
Each pump feels like a drum beat
Each pump makes me wince

Why do I do this to myself?
Why do I fall so hard for another?
Why does my heart plead and beg?
Why does it have to be such a bother?

I can't forget the pain
I can't forget her face
I have a gallery of girls in my mind
Each one with her own personal grace

Each one haunts me every night
They chant and taunt me
"You did everything wrong!"
The tears haze the world I see

I see in total and absolute pain
Each person is like a rose's thorn
A single touch would make me bleed
Oh how I wish I knew why I was born.

I am not a hero
I am no white knight
I try my best
But sometimes it isn’t enough
Good always triumphs over evil
Or so the saying goes
Since I lose, does that make me evil
I don’t cause pain purposefully
I try to help others
But I am no hero
I don’t fight an unwinnable fight
I do feel pain
And I listen to my fear
A hero has a destiny
Something greater than them
I simply do not
I’m freer than the hero
I can believe what I want
The opinions of what is good or evil
Doesn’t affect me
I know the world isn’t black and white
I don’t do theimpossible
I live in this world
Just like everyone else
I know who I am
And I accept it
I am not a hero
I am something greater
I am me

my love for you is the only constant, the only thing I can
clutch onto when  everything else seems to be breaking
apart and I’m submerged in my own darkness holding onto
dwindling memories grappling for a better place in my
mind that doesn’t seem to exist you
don’t know how it feels to be trapped in yourself and
the words you speak are only shadows of the vibrant emotions that
lurk lost underneath the frost and
frustration the cancer of these blues spreading like
wildfire but I know it’s fine because you are here and
that part of me where you are and will always be
they can never touch and so to you I cling on
and it’s you whose face I close my eyes and
picture whenever I want a little drop of
warmth to spread through my soul
I sit back for a moment and
Wallow in the unspoken
Joys of you

'‘Take love, multiply it by infinity and take it to the depths of forever.. and you still have only a glimpse of how I feel for you’'

I still remember when you first aired
your series premiere. I quickly fell in love
and tuned in every night. I certainly had
no need to record the action,
the comedy, the drama.
Reruns were nostalgic memories
of the new episodes that I never missed.

You couldn’t find the right time slot for me
and we grew apart. It wasn’t the same.
You seldom aired until you stopped airing altogether.
How do you feel knowing that you are my cliffhanger
ending to a canceled show? I could shy away
from television altogether or find a new favorite show
and appreciate what you had to offer when you were around.

Maybe I’ll read a book instead.
I am walking away from the static
rain on the screen. I still remember
the series premiere when you first aired.

Fall asleep?  Not a chance.
Close my eyes,
Let time pass by,
End this little romance?

You lay down with me.
Your lips on mine,
For a short time,
These moments are not free.

Come morning you’ll leave
Maybe a kiss goodbye,
A cute twinkle in your eye,
The pain is hard to conceive.

So for now I stay awake
Enjoying what’s left,
Of my heart and souls theft,
Foretelling my future heart ache.