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Every time I kiss you
After a long separation
I feel
I am putting a hurried love letter
In a red mailbox.
 Apr 2013 Megan Hoagland
Chris
She was born in April, baptized in may and we married on valentines day.
Her beautiful soul changed my life for the better.
When I was with her it was always sunny weather.
Remember that trip we took to Denver?
That was the best week of my life.
I'm so happy I got to make her my wife.

Unfortunately for me ,nothing gold can stay.
I told you that mommy had to go away, up to heaven and  I'm sorry but she's not coming back,
that was the moment that my soul turned pitch black,
My spirt couldn't defend the constant attacks from the adamant grief that had stricken my heart and denied me relief.
My veil of despair clouded my mind. When I lost my wife I thought you were fine
forgetting that you too lost something divine.


I was so absorbed in myself that I couldn't see you needed me.  
You cried out for help but I couldn't break free.
I was so concerned with what was happening to me that I rejected my duty and responsibility.
Please don't hate me.
**I'm sorry
Dear Mason,
How are you doing?
            I miss you
I still have some of your things here
when would you like to get them?
             You were my first love and you let me go
              Love,
From,
Anna


Dear Anna,
I am doing good.
                Why did I do this?
I can meet you at the Coffee Shop on Saturday
to get the things.
                I can't come home it would hurt to much
Can you please bring me my DVD's?
How are you doing?
                 Please tell me you miss me..
                 I never knew how much I needed you.
                 Forever Yours,
From,
Mason

Mason,
I am doing well.
                 I hate this just come home this is nonsense
Of course I can bring your DVD's
                 I can still smell your scent on your pillow
Have you seen that picture of me at the beach my
mother would like a copy.
                  I wish that you said sorry
                  I never knew how much this could hurt
Would you like my to bring the dog?
He lays on the bed now. He loves it.
                  I hate it I want you to be there instead
                   Forever in my heart,
From,
Anna


Annabelle,
No, I'm sorry I haven't seen the picture
                    I took it.. It's the only thing I have of you
Yes I would love to see Harley
                    I hate that he sleeps there.. I wish it was me.
I miss him very much.
                     You as well.
                      Miss You Forever,
From,
Mason


Mason,
Ok thanks anyways.
                    You will always be in my heart..
Good, He will be happy to see you.
                    I have been counting the days
I will see you at Three.
                     I'm sorry it had to end this way..
From,
Annabelle
 Apr 2013 Megan Hoagland
k-s-h
There is meadow of clovers,
And if you look further in than one would care to walk,
There are two.
The first and the second converse,
Onwards they always talk,
Beyond understanding that could be true.

They talk of life and death and past,
And always they say as the sun sets,
We are two clovers, together beyond anything.
The rest of the clovers are silent, no ears,
These are different from the rest.
They can’t hear or talk or sing.

Nothing could part this pair,
They swore to always be there.
Day and night, dusk and dawn,
You would never hear them yawn,
As with promises they filled the starry air.

One day a human came along,
To the near center of the meadow.
And simply, plucks one of the two.
And now because of some higher force,
I’m a lonely clover among the full throes,
And I’ve been separated from you.
 Apr 2013 Megan Hoagland
AD
Laughter
 Apr 2013 Megan Hoagland
AD
Your laughter will haunt me,
and the way golden threads swept past your smile.
Your laughter will sound through my dreams
behind evil faces and blood painted smiles.

Butterflies will become moths
which will eat my cloth-patched heart
And the glint in your eyes will light fires
to burn me alive.
If I could trade all our bad days
For the ones that are more fun

I wouldn't

Because who knows a good day
Without knowing a bad one?
The words were not there
But something was stirring deep within
Insanity or brilliance, perhaps both
Understanding the fullness of its urgency has never come

I put pen to paper and wrote anyhow

I wrote what I saw within
Heaven and Earth
Unlaced and dancing
Beating upon internal drums ... I could barely hear

I put pen to paper and wrote anyhow

And though I am sure of very little
I am certain of one thing
That you and I, are pieces of all of this
This primal dance of Heaven and Earth

*So I put my pen to paper and I write anyhow
I have to say that I love life
I love walking outside and drinking in the seasons
Smelling the scents indigenous to our island
Even with my eyes closed I can know I'm home

Catching up with friendly faces
All of nature mixing and mingling
A cacophony of natural rhythms
That dance off  breath and pound from chests

The sound of  each snowy step taken reminds
That there is hope for tomorrow
That there is hope for today
That there is hope for yesterday

Purpose filled living that grows deeper and stronger
Grabbing life by the hips and drinking thirstily from her mouth
Striding wholly into the stratum of a living, feeling, breathing being
Thrusting into the wonder that is yesterday, today and tomorrow

I have to say that I love life
(Radix, meaning *root* is the latin word from which the word radical sprang and also the word radish. Radish because it is a root vegetable and radical because it means a "change at the root".)
Have you ever cried at night thinking it was bad?
Have you ever lost a love, the only thing you ever had?
Have you ever screamed out loud from the pain you felt?
Have you ever ever stopped and looked at the pain you dealt?
Have you ever questioned someone of love and if it's true?
Have you ever really wondered if they truely feel for you?
Have you ever felt abused or worried while you wait?
Have you ever made a huge deal over someone being late?
Have you ever had them leave and watched them walk away?
Have you ever thought of leaving, but could only sit and stay?
Have you ever hurt someone and looked at what you've done?
Have you ever been the one that's hurt and thought you were the only one?
Have you ever loved another and never told them so?
Have you ever tried to tell them, but you did'nt know how it would go?
Have you ever been alone where nobody could see?
So, you sat at good remaining, unknown, having no where else to be?
I've felt this way before. I've felt and dealt it all.
I've even lied and cried and felt the fall.
But, nothing makes it better. The guilt and the pain. I wish it all away. I wish it was not real, but that's not the case, and it'll never be, it took me too long to open up and see.
I must own up to my mistakes I've made, get past the pain I've felt, wipe away the tears, and tell someone when I love them before they go away, and maybe if I word it right, they just might want to stay..
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