Do you wonder where all that time went? All those special moments or just the ordinary daily activities that are now only memories. Memories that are unique and the only way you can hold onto them is by replaying them in your mind over and over again, until the details all merge together and you're left with a fuzzy recollection that doesn't seem to fit anymore.

Do you remember the exact time when you started to grow up? When the conversations you had were not about dolls or imaginary friends
Have you ever felt that the closest people to you are also the furthest away? Felt that everything was happening too fast? And even though you didn't want to grow up, you didn't want to be left behind either?

And when his hand is no longer a boy's but a man's, when his touch does not convey safety but lust and when your body betrays you and wants it too, is this when we have grown up? Or is it when we are forced to grow up?

And who tells us when we have grown up? How do we know when we have reached our destination? Do we ever stop growing up or do we continue to just grow in spirit?

And if I can see everyone else making choices, trying new things, growing up, is it selfish for me to want it to stay the same forever?

And if I make my own choices, try different things, slowly growing up, will others notice that I'm changing too? Do they wish that nothing would change just like I do?

And if I'm just scared of losing the people that are close to me, scared of being left behind or leaving others behind, is it okay for me to stand off in the distance just watching these people live their lives, remembering how they are and how they make me feel?

But if I hold onto them too tightly how am I to move on? How am I to grow up and LIVE MY LIFE? How am I to make decisions and take on responsibility if I'm living in the past?

I guess time continues whether you want it to or not, leaving you behind or taking you for the journey of your life.

After all these years living on this planet, I'd thought I'd have learnt everything about people by now, but how wrong was I ? Very, it seems. I thought I could learn how to see people, how I can change to make people see a different side of me, I thought I could change myself to become "perfect" in someone else's eyes.

But then it hit me, what's the definition of "perfect" ?

For some people it's having the best looks, the million dollar life, the fast car, the huge house with a pool, a **** boyfriend or girlfriend. And then for others, it all about the personality. They want someone who is either funny, smart, caring, generous, honest. These are all lovely qualities to have in a person, and if you yourself have these qualities, I congratulate you.

Imagine a painting, or a drawing, that you really like. Do you look at the good aspects ? The bad aspects ? Or both?

And then for other people, it's a conjunction of these two aspects that they want. Some people want the entire package deal. The million dollar life, the fast car, the huge house with a pool, a **** boyfriend or girlfriend and someone who is either funny, smart, caring, generous, honest. This is what, from what I've seen, what most people want.

And then you have people like me. I want someone for who they are. And you can say that I'm being old fashioned or stupid, or cliche, but whatever. They don't have to have the million dollar lifestyle and the perfect personality, they just have to be real. And be honesty with yourselves. When you look at someone , what do you see?
Their looks? Their personality ? Or them ?

Everything happens for a reason.Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity. All occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small test, if they be events, illness or relationships, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.

If someone hurts you, betrayes you, or breaks your heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust, and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart too.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things that you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment, and take from it everything you possiably can, for you may never be able to expiernce it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up, because you have the right too. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.You can make of your life anything you wish, create your own life and then go out there and live it.

We were born to be real, not perfect. But then again ,you can look at it like this.
If you're true to yourself, and everyone around you, they'll see it. They'll see who you really are. And to me, that's perfect. Having people not knowing you for your looks or your personality , but you.

You. You're perfect.

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you.

When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.

The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.

You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.