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It took her
17 years to
realize that
monsters don’t
live under her bed,
but instead
within her.

It took over
Her mind.
It took over
Her body.
It was destroying her.

The pain of getting out
Of bed each and everyday
Was pushing intolerable.
It felt like she was
Shackled to the bedpost.

She felt heavy,
As if boulders were
Toppling over her.

They were the voices
In her head.
She fought the urge
To take the blade,
But eventually gave in.

She was screaming for help,
But her desperate screams were
Muffled and masked by
A forced smile and an ‘im fine’.
She was struggling to keep
Her head above the water,
But everyone was blind.

She fought the monsters,
Fought and fought,
And

Gave up.
school

a swirling black hole
of unhappiness
teasing
taunting

kids with sad secrets walk the hallways
sleeves pulled down around their knuckles
wrists tainted with red tears
facing each school day with dread

praying for it to all stop

cs.
 Nov 2013 Silver Lining
Traveler
I turned to face her, her eyes ruled my guts
I tried to embrace her, self-mutilated in her cuts
I wiped the wicked from her gloom
There pink elephants consumed her room
I pretended not to notice her self-destructive maze
So many precious moment I was locked away

I'm here if you need someone to bleed upon
That's all I really have to offer since I've been gone
Gone like your trust in love, gone like your heart
Gone like your need for a father but where would I start....
Traveler Tim
Re post forward
2013
The Pressure
would not be so great
if Equilibrium were Law
Do not expect others to adhere to your standards
and likewise do not adhere to the standards of others;
carve thy own path
using thy own compass
for thy Body and Mind
are thy most sacred of Temples
in this mortal plane of Existence;
and they are wholly yours
though you are not wholly them
for they are a reflection
of a higher Divinity
as is all else;
on lease,
mortal:

Make wise use
of the Time you have
and seek always to better yourself
and never surrender
your Temples
She came into this world
By accident.
Never planned,
But her parents
Didn’t regret a thing.

She grew up with
Her hands stretched out,
Hungry for knowledge
And taking in
Everything she
Could reach.

She was only 9 years old,
When she saw both her parents
Screaming at each other.
She didn’t understand,
“Why are mummy and
Daddy fighting?”
She asked as tears
Started to fall from
Her eyes to her
Delicate skin.
Her parents sighed as
They knew it wasn’t
Working out.
Things were crashing down.

She was only 10 years old
When her daddy left her.
As he carried his bags
Out the door,
She cried,
“Where are you going, daddy?”
He left, without a word.

She grew up,
Without love.
She grew up,
Believing  that
Love is the problem.

She never trusted love.
She never wanted love.
She never needed love.

She was only 13
When she took
Her first puff
Of cigarette.
She was hoping
That her misery
Would fade away,
Just like the smoke.

She was only 15
When she was suicidal.
Nobody knew about
Her struggles.
Nobody knew
She cried herself
To sleep, wishing everything
Was different and simple.
Her wrist was like
Her own canvas,
Covered with scars,
New and old.

She was drowning,
In her miseries.
All she wanted
Was someone to save her,
Or least teach her
How to swim,
But no one did.

She was drowning,
As she watched
People around her
Minding their own lives.

Till this day,
She’s still
Drowning,
Still
Struggling.

And no one
Cares enough
To save her.
It's been a while since I've had skinned knees doctored and bandaged
But you've always been good and patching me up in other ways.
Lately I've been tripping over my feet and falling to my knees
I've been craving letting my veins unzip themselves like my favorite red sweater.
As it turns out, most of the things in my life that make me feel better, also make me feel worse.
You keep me sane but you make me crazier than anyone else.
 Aug 2013 Silver Lining
Tallulah
Am I here?
Because I can’t see a reflection
In those distant blue spheres
Only an empty projection

I feel the enormity of space
Between your skin and mine
Yet I can hear your heart race
As hands choking, entertwine

Am I here?
Because I don’t see my shadow
It began to disappear
Such a long time ago

In silence & bone
We both understood
To love was to be alone
& so we parted for good
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