i miss a lot of people daily and
sometimes i think about living
until i'm eighty
like this
constantly clinging
to the past
i'm not sure when i became
gatsby
and you became
daisy
but i'm realizing i miss nick, too
and jordan
and every guest
who came to my parties

is it time for me to get
shot
yet?

at night, you wonder if anybody actually
saw you today, and if they did,
had they noticed your shaking hands?

(sometimes you question if you were
taught english correctly, because every
i love you comes out as i'm sorry

and you are so tired of stuttering)

today i woke up to the radio,
and when every song sounded
like it should be ours, i couldn't tell
if i was dreaming or not

(and i am so gone
on you)

i ache because i have never felt your touch
but i worry if i felt it
i would ache even more