colin kissed hannah instead
and i was nate's second choice
i found out about joe too late
and carson puked on my shoes
wyatt was the first everything
and louis was only a phone call
slade didn't care about my heart
and maklin shouldn't have

you were so much less, so much more
and i know because
it hurts when
i try to write your name.

during summer, we avoided the ocean
because it reminded us how
small we really are, and instead of singing
lullabies to drift away in waves of sleep,
we sang all night long to stay awake
for fear that if we let ourselves go, we'd have nothing
left to rise for by morning

(i never closed my eyes, but i had one
hell of a dream)

i write about wanting to
see you
talk to you
be with you

but in actuality
if i ever had the chance
i'd run in the opposite direction

because you'd be
all too
real.

It seemed so stupid
the way the numbness
I perfected
disappeared
only when
you,
we're around.

And I still find it
absurd,
that you manage
to pull me apart
piece,
by shattered
piece.

And maybe it was
your voice,
or the way you
sighed my
name..

but whatever it
was, it
made me so,

so nervous..

(m.a.)

our dads left
matching bruises
where our hearts
should be

and when you kissed me
i realized all those lullabies?
they'd never fixed me
touching bruises with love --
or otherwise
only makes us blue

i'm sorry, so sorry
we should have been
something beautiful.

if i hadn't already used up
all my kisses on missing you
i'd make it better.