One foot in sea one
on shore
you
secured
your Being
down to the
roots
of the roots
and up -

out from your core

You sit by the forest and weep
a deep
deep
feeling
of loss

a world
turning inside out
for the first time
in your life


                                                              ­          You sit by the river and cry
                                    untying all knots with shaking, coop'rative hands
                                                           ­                                  a dance of your
                                                                ­                             true molecules

                                                     ­     

                                                             🌊

You are not afraid of
a sharp blade
any longer
for you trust the purity
of your intentions
and the heart
that has never failed you

If fear be you,
Then I will flung my arms wide open
As to embrace the coming pain.

I raise my arms and hands
To catch the lightning strike
That reaches out and makes
No single warning sound.

I lift my gaze up to the clouds
And wish for rain,
And from your cold breath spills
Colder disdain.

If in my body warmth arises,
I will disguise each single sign
So that your ice caps will not melt;
Not now, nor at another time in space.

I will be jerking off in silence
Not to offend your violent glance;
Undress I will exclusively behind
The shadow in the darkest shady place.

I promise this, my love -
Excuse the word:

As long as we shall live
I will remain a solid ground
I will not give up hope;

I be there for your feet to treat on,
For eyes to pierce and burn my flesh;

I be your scapegoat
In good times and sorrow,
And I’ll be still here if
Tomorrow spears are thrown
At your cold face.

Remember this, though:

That you are nothing but my muse
Here to abuse for any purpose;
And that my work grows on your back -

If you excuse again my honesty -

And that, at last, your vicious icy soul belongs
To no one but to me,
Agreed or not.

Orion still
hunting the
Pleiades still
gracing
the night sky and Sirius -
ablaze with light -
still witness
to all this
while you
see everything
for the first time
and I am glad
you see it

So what if I don't like a poem
and say so?

So what if I don't like people to rhyme
to bridge two edgy lines?

Why, if this rhymes then it is just
due to my humble arrogance -

my love of irony -

and if you like,
just if you really want,

then be my guest and shake yourself
free from those lines
(from all those lines in fact)

and smile,
and now: forget about the rest.

There's a woman sitting
on a chair in the garden thinking
is that all right are things
really going
alright thinking
there's a boy squatting
in the grass in the backyard not kicking
the football thinking
is this all going well is it
okay that way thinking
there's a girl looking
at the corn flower not moving thinking
is everything really how it should be are things
going how they should thinking
there's an old man pausing on his  daily walk squinting
into the last rays of sunlight thinking well if this is
alright and fine thinking
     there's a baby popping out of
a mother
not thinking already
loving all that offers
itself in this place already sensing
this is going to be
a hell of an adventure sensing
     somewhere an old man
suddenly feels
an impulse to keep
walking
A boy slaps his own thighs gets up howls
into the evening light kicking
a ball a woman letting out
a breath she was holding lifting
her can to water
the flowers a girl
sets herself back
into motion
a smile on the face somewhere
in space a green planet
has gained new
confidence

A trembling breath
in the cold night
and the little cloud that forms
in the cold air-

And then
for a long second
nothing-

Before-
in a BLAST and WHIRL of sound crashing
of bright light
flooding in-
it dawns on you-

The only thing
the
ONLY
thing
you ever have to do
is

be
Yourself.

A house
not as empty
as you may think it is
I'd fill it
with a sun and moon
and stars if you wish

But first
you
come in here

Body
NoT funny-

See, this poem will be CHAOS;

Sliding along in front of my
eyes
a shiny cabinet of dusty and non dusty Polaroids
like you used to Show me
like your photo art and huge light
in the cellar

move me now
they do

the cabinet opend and my veins fill with the blood of my
childhood
pulse paces up
mum calls from upstairs to stop reading practice and come up
Food gonna get cold

next slide
pacing through the cold autumn forest and behind me a huge
deer
but I am not scared because we know him
we seen him many many times before in autums here in the wild park

cklick
you in your motorbike Fashion and helmet that used to scare me
make me cry because I cannot see your face
and the other Polaroid where you wear the full gear in front of
your motorbike

click
Flash - Flash - Flash
move you up the bed
up
up
I help you; you cannot do it anymore, not always
says mum, not a good day, she saiys
she lying?

click
you and me and my childhood friend in the local Swimming pool
and you unashamed bottom turned to everyone
pulling up your Swimming Pants

click
Flash-flash
you turn and Keep turning
not seeming to know where your room is
your room and your bed and thus the place you spend
most of your days and hours now

crack
goes my heart
crack

the next Polaroid is one
where I did not exist yet

where you and mum slide down the map of
Southern France, maybe Provence, in your White Reno? Or Alfa Romeo? Or any other
car you had back then.

And now;
crack - crack - crack
goes my heart
and yours and maybe our family's heart

But I will Keep you in
and I will hold you up and if I ******* have to pull off
your shoes again then I might as well, dear, I might as well
do it.

In the middle there is a black stone
With white lines written on it:

This will give you a new name
And new hope.

And as the pretty sound of these words fades, i hear a new sound.

It is the bright laughter of two children in rhe rain -

And the light begins to shine infinitely

There are two ways to Life,
the way of Nature
and the way of Grace.

   Place your head in my hands
and I'll see that
we don't have to choose.

They whisper about the new King and how
he is a bit odd
in several many things
and different

Their heads bow
nevertheless
to address this man
who does not know how
to suppress a stare
to swallow down
any feeling to ban
all signs of insecurity
from his face

They kneel just once
before they are pulled up
in an awkward ****
a strong
slightly shaking arm
commanding them upward
level with an open face
in awe of
what had just happened

A wordless command
You will never be Bystanders
ever again

^^^
-----

We are even;

A scar for a scar
A heart for a heart
I put yours in a jar
You won t part, love!

A smile for raised eyebrows
A dream for a chat
My blood flows, kid
We ll both feel bad
In the end.

The end for our start
Hold! All systems go
We are not so smart, love
Our hearts won t know
Where to start or to end,

Give me your hand, sweet
Let us go.

Slowly, very slowly, the child stops fighting, starts to lay down shield and sword and crawls out of its dark corner, shifts towards the light [...]

a fish flies
through the night air
hardly remembering
he was not born
a bird

a word swims
through the ocean
almost remembering
its destination

a grim old man
feels his heart turn soft
and decides to go
with it for once

It's frightening so
so frightening to be
open and bare and the mask
fluttering in the
air beside me
a moment from
floating away

nothing to say
I sit
in the dark place with my back split
open.

But no time
believe me darling
and the wounds will heal.

You pick up your pen
nightly
to get off your chest what lies on it
heavy like a stone
and you write
inch by inch
bit by bit
what needs to be written down
of all the horrors your eyes have witnessed
all the beauty that you remember
your hand shakes
pouring ink all over your page
and yet you get all the numbers right
all the names and ancient signs
You pick up your pen again this night
tonight
and you write honouring all ancient women' names
in the soft moonlit room
You put down your pen
out of breath and sweat pearling down your chest
knowing
you wrote
another night
against all odds
for the life of them

On the couch right next
To me so close that
Our knees touch but far enough
To not kiss.

Coke and tea and coffee
Do not make a perfect
Basis for us getting
More courageous.

But that's ok and even
More - it is quite good.

For ages have I not felt
This comfortable.

this is not a poem
it is a question

what makes you think you're so remarkably
invincible, and chasing rays of light until they die away?

what makes me cling to this
disquieting momentum, this moon-absorbing, hateful creature?

this is not a poem
it is a question

why can i not detect the seconds
of high voltage danger, and why-

why do i pour my heart
out to a stranger?

why

°°°

this used to be a question-

turning to an answer, though, and tapping
at my chamber door, pronouncing

with a clear voice - and with rain-drops bouncing off the window pane -

the word:

because*.

~ ~ ~

Nothing has to take shape
because you want it to
Nothing escapes you
if it likes

Nothing bows not to your
imagination
if it so wishes
Nothing can shake your schedule
upside down

Nothing can take you
by the hand and guide you
to Something you
with your restricted glance
have not anticipated

Nothing
can dance

and become
Everything

~ ~ ~

I don’t feel like going
Anywhere
Without knowing
Where you are.

I apologize,
I know how this sounds
How you frown
Because you’ll never hear it.

I know I should tell you -
And in the meantime
We live parallel lives -
Tell you what drives me
To this place
Every day.

Instead we do not move
I say nothing
You are silent
Only the violent, fiery cuts,
Once in a while,
Are proof enough.

A woman in orange cloth crosses
a dusty street
cluttered with
dusty fears and believes -
she straightens herself
nods
before she greets
all of them kindly

From here you lift your gaze
see
a million silver stars
looking back
looking
ahead
you share their eyes
their hearts unfold
your natural language
everything talks

My heart is swelling when I think
About all you did for me
Totally selfless
Also
It cries for you
Because I see that you dealt with the horrors
All alone

Some places in the world
Seem to be more than
Just of solid flesh and grass
And earth
They pull you into
A tremendous drift
Of living
Memory

If you are brave
If you don't close your eyes
They'll make you see why it is
You
And why
You are not bound to
Time and places
As they look

Why
If you like
You'll greet all spaces
Past and future