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Nov 10 · 264
Forgive
Me Nov 10
Forgive
Yourself
Always
❤️
Nov 10 · 30
Always
Me Nov 10
You are
Love,
honey.
How can you
ever be
wrong?
Thank you so much for the most most valuable lesson of all my life. I love you. Always.
Nov 5 · 38
Potential
Me Nov 5
I hear not what you say but
what you mean
even before you
meant it
sometimes
which can be
utterly confusing
I confess
but, love, what do you think
how weird it is
for me?
:D It really is weird.
Nov 5 · 32
Dharma Eyes
Me Nov 5
A caterpillar and a butterfly walk side by side along a forest path. Another caterpillar passes by and looks at them, intrigued.
“Are you not jealous?” he shouts, before he can stop himself.
They stop and seem surprised. Then, the butterfly answers:
“Yeah, well, sometimes, but look, I can fly now, that’s something!”
Ashamed and more irritated than ever, the enquirer scuttles away without another word.
The butterfly looks at his friend. “Does he not know?”
The caterpillar shrugs. “Maybe not. Some don’t.”
“Well, someday he’ll find out.”, says the butterfly amiably, and they walk on.
Nov 4 · 97
Always
Me Nov 4
Look at your
roots
with ruthless openness
then-
shoot up
into heights that make you
see
all colours
bright and shining
Nov 3 · 39
Invisible Bonds
Me Nov 3
I'm here waiting
for y'all
and it *****
at times
to feel like I am waiting here
alone
but then I hope
I'm just a molecule that rushed
forward and now waits for
the other ones
to make the things
complete again
Come on!
Nov 3 · 15
Premature
Me Nov 3
Glimpses
that nobody
verifies
and ice that's
see-through
though it cracks
slightly
underneath your feet

Breed your
ideas
they are
correct
though
premature

You're doing
fine
Nov 3 · 37
Indescribable
Me Nov 3
Dear Mother
I want you with me
with us
but it's so hard
and hurts so much
to see you
suffer
It is so so hard; I can bear it, but it is indescribably hard and I tell you all I am growing ten feet every day
Nov 1 · 46
Glimpse
Me Nov 1
aura aura
drifting by
just a shadow
of the thigh
not a tiger
not of flesh
yet uncover
under vivid breath
my nature
Me Nov 1
We made
a board game
together
today
from scratch
and called it
on the Rainbow Cloud
and were-
I think you just like me-
extraordinarily
proud of
ourselves
Well done, Sweetie! ♡
Nov 1 · 48
Synergy
Me Nov 1
hyper receptive
mind
always
active
and spending
no time
anymore
to explain it
to others
cause you know
it is not
a matter of
words
and yet
is
I cannot enjoy fun parks, never could.
Nov 1 · 40
Smile
Me Nov 1
We're all born
butterflies
and just disguise
as caterpillars
until the time
has come


Nov 1 · 141
Yes I am
Me Nov 1

Yes I am
a good kid
through and through
Yes I am
Cool
at the same time
Oct 31 · 150
Colour Bouquet
Me Oct 31
Green
yellow and
purple
candles decorate
my birthday cake
and send me
Your greeting
and make me
smile

Green
yellow and
purple
flowers always
remind me
of you
Oct 31 · 31
The Bridge
Me Oct 31
Such a stunning piece of work
it has become
and glowing
in the bright sunlight

Only here and there
are some spots that need
mending
still-

an ill feeling of
half-presence befalls me
every time I step
into such a spot-

But only for a second
before I kneel down-
hot and panting-
next to my toolbox and start
filling in the space
and thus connecting-

      This Bridge is not
a simple gateway to get
from one place to
another

But rather
is it in itself
a connection piece
Oct 28 · 2.4k
Feeling Warm
Me Oct 28
Am I suicidal
if I want to hug
the sun
cause I love her
so much?
Oct 26 · 69
Arcadia
Me Oct 26
Wind shall not
be mixed with
water-
says the witch-
and I
wake up
and turn
and itch
since then.
I really dreamt this some nights ago. What's that thing about not mixing wind and water?
Oct 26 · 34
Peace
Me Oct 26
You whisper
in tears
you want to forgive her
and think of her as
not having done
any of it

That will not work,
my Dear
but hear me out;


Accept the facts
and see that she herself
had her ghosts
too
and that she probably
would have done better
if she could have
and know that you
will never
take it on
again
Oct 26 · 108
Transform
Me Oct 26
Did you know that
when I was little
I kept things to myself
so they could not
be twisted?

Did you know that
later
this keeping things to myself
really became
outright dangerous
for me?

Did you know that
all these times lately
when I shouted at you for no
apparent reason
I wanted you to
reclaim ownership
to your stories
your twists
your heavy
hidden
shadow?

And do you know now
that I cry mostly because
I am trying
and want to forgive you
so badly?
Oct 26 · 56
Gaslighting
Me Oct 26
My head was twisted
so many times
180 degrees
my eyes not fixed
on any
steady
thing
for long

Now
like a sticky
**** slime
evaporate
the lies
up into
Nothingness

And what remains
is pure
yet with a hint of
bitterness

I want to
forgive
Oct 25 · 35
Fury
Me Oct 25
What is it that makes you so
incredibly mad?
It is that sad kid in me
realising how loved people tended
to aggressively reject
taking responsibility
and how I took it on
instead-
and how it makes me
furious
so furious
Oct 23 · 41
Let Them Talk
Me Oct 23
Everyone will always have to say
a lot about your work and
person
and everyone will always
know better than yourself
**** everyone
is quite a healthy
attitude
from time to time-
Be brave and kick
their needy words
away
IT is so nice and lovely when  people put their fears and aggression and **** on you cause they think they can. It is so  great, so great when they don't reflect their actions and words but instead  just pour  them  out onto you  or anyone cause they don t have the composure  and courage and honesty to deal with it themselves. I am  a strong believer,  in love and honesty, and compassion. But listen folks, know your limits and don t eat ****.
Oct 22 · 50
For my Friend
Me Oct 22
I cannot help but feel
a swelling kind of feeling
when you stand next to me and speak
of how you love your sister
and will not let
the bitterness
corrupt you

~

Oct 22 · 30
Nothing can Dance
Me Oct 22
~ ~ ~

Nothing has to take shape
because you want it to
Nothing escapes you
if it likes

Nothing bows not to your
imagination
if it so wishes
Nothing can shake your schedule
upside down

Nothing can take you
by the hand and guide you
to Something you
with your restricted glance
have not anticipated

Nothing
can dance

and become
Everything

~ ~ ~
Me Oct 22
Again the same words the same
phrases the same
sound during the days and haze of
summer and winter nights and
flights into yourself your
inner world-

Stop

interrupt
this game of playing
the same records over and
over

and trip
skip it

Restart

and fill the page with what you like
instead
Let go
Oct 22 · 459
Open
Me Oct 22
Patience,
darling,
don't always look at
tomorrow
with
yesterday's lenses-
cleanse
your view
and leave the window open
so that your head
can feel
the breeze...
~oO~
Oct 18 · 47
Singleheartedness
Me Oct 18
Singleheartedness,
says the lion,
Is when your eyes
automatically dissect
true words from false ones
And detect the
blind spots
in hearts
Me Oct 18
we know it
and knew it
and have only been
deeply shaken
by the giant earthquake
and are now
on the way
to remembering
~
Oct 18 · 119
Manipulation
Me Oct 18
You feel something
crystal clear
but still hear voices
saying

No
No, no, you're just
imagining
no, that can't be
you must be wrong
-

and then you know
because it was like this before
if you  dissent
you won't belong
to the safe crowd
any longer-

You'll be pushed out
pushed off the cloud
that mirrors wishes
and takes away
the raw
reality-

Rise up, dear,
it is time
to leave that cloud
by your own will

Think what you think
say what you want

Until everyone knows;
to talk you out of it
is not an option.
Oct 11 · 561
No more
Me Oct 11
Leave it
to the children
to pout and cry and say
then I don't like you
anymore

when you are not okay
with what I do-
Don't dare to
blackmail me with your
emotions-

Since a while ago
I can detect it and
for sure
react ferociously
and clear-

So don't you
even
try
inflict
that fear
in me-

Consciously
or not
Emotional blackmailing, yeah maybe everyone does it in a way, and it is very hard to uncover. I for my part don't want any of it anymore. Never.
Oct 11 · 33
No
Me Oct 11
No
Why
is it
so **** difficult
at times
just to say this
single
tiny
word
and not retreat
or give in?

Because you do not want
to hurt the other's feelings
And yes,
it can be difficult
when you can feel
so much
and are not one who
easily ignores
the silent hidden things
that people sometimes
lock down in their
basement
and think they are
invisible to everyone-

But they are not-
and they are just so very
visible
to you
and shout
We're here, we're here!

But maybe you
can tell yourself
that you do not
turn down these sweet
invisible things but
the person's request to
take sides with her to
ignore them, too.
Oct 10 · 35
The Unguarded Vase
Me Oct 10
There is
a vase
out in the hallway
totally unguarded
and always
has been
Oct 8 · 34
The Well
Me Oct 8
There is a tiny little
house inside my
heart
with yellow bricks and
flower pots
and reflecting
window panes

Sometimes the house
stands free and between
colours
sometimes clouds
mantle its door and windows

Sometimes I know who lives
inside the house-
Sometimes I don't

But as it's always there
I won't let outside weather
worry me
^
     /  \    
---|_n_|---
Me Oct 8
I'm free and bigger now; I don't need
playing safe and fit in systems just because
if I'm not in I'm  scared-

I do not want to be a scared brick in the wall!

I do not want to hide and pretend to be less
to not stir you in your anxiety!

I do not want to be a brick just cause you feel
that without me your wall
will crumble down and you need me
to play along for your
imagined crap security!

I do not want to live pretending
that I don't know the life beyond
the beauty there and here
that scares you so

Come join
but do not dare
to hold me back
smash the wall, gently! :D
Oct 8 · 22
Remind Yourself
Me Oct 8
I deserve
and am allowed to be
happy
I am allowed to
free myself
from heavy burden-
patterns that will
hold me
down

Whoever frowns
upon this-
it's really not my
responsibility
Everyday remind yourself
Oct 8 · 35
The Joke
Me Oct 8
If you were granted
just one single
colour
to see and keep and wear
for all your life-
which one would it be, asks the cat
rainbow, says the girl
and clap!
their hands touch in the
crystal air
for a high five
before they strive toward
the sleeping Cities
Oct 7 · 33
Dear Mother
Me Oct 7
I think I
finally
accept you
and with that
myself

We learned
from each other


Thank you
Oct 7 · 41
Jay birds
Me Oct 7
This morning I was called
out on the balcony
by two insistent
jay birds


Oct 6 · 38
Apply bird's eye
Me Oct 6
A wooden boat
with coloured, ragged sails
like a patchwork rug eagerly patched
together by two children
floats downstream

From here you see
all the way the boat has come down
has navigated through some
really critical points
and shallow water

Through some serious storms

And you smile benevolently
when you see it bravely rambling on
and sometimes lose direction
or so it seems

On the boat
on its slippery wooden planks
you stand holding on to
the mast and see
something else

There you see
howling waters coming
towards the fragile looking  bow
sharp pieces of
rock and massive bark floating by

You see the horizon and the unknown
behind it
the potential
Niagara Falls

You hear the bashing sound
of the water masses
the roar terrifies you
paralyses-

Apply bird's eye, dear

What is that you hear?

Apply
bird'eye
and float
downstream



Oct 5 · 33
Downstream
Me Oct 5
Eyes closed
and rushing
downstream
towards something
you want
and are
scared of

But on the way
the current washes
off the fear so that
you'll definitely get there
whole and
bright
and clear
God the way is so so so hard somedays
Oct 5 · 204
Step One
Me Oct 5
A lot
a lot a lot
a lot of
other people's
Fear
circulates
around you
and desperately seeks
to find your heart-
And you
at times
will open it and
let it in
Step by step
Oct 4 · 36
What the Truth is
Me Oct 4
Nobody told me
what the truth is
because I guess
the truth reveals
itself-
just like a person
******* step
by step-
and knows
when you
are ready
you are ready when you want to be
Oct 4 · 30
A Language for You
Me Oct 4
how sticks and stones
sometimes
connect with you

how different notes
of fragrance
put you into
another place and time-

how feathers
fabrics
woes
are talking to your eyes
and how

in wind
and water-
and in light-

how there are
calming sounds
of peace and knowing

and just how gentle
(and how smart)
they guide you

through the night
Oct 4 · 40
The Poet of Inis Mór
Me Oct 4
In reality
a captain
with crooked head and proud-
a proud guy
of the sea-
thank you for
your nice welcome
piece of poetry
I really liked it-
and thank you for
connecting
that poem there
with
me
Thank you Robert :)
Oct 4 · 54
Dear Fear
Me Oct 4
Every time I think
I know you so **** well
by now
I surprise myself-
every time I say
we are okay
my heart just
skips a little
tiny beat
and for a second
jumps out of
alignment
...hard work
Oct 4 · 92
Dance
Me Oct 4
Is it
necessary to cut
all the chords
before
I really
dance?

Yes, says the voice, cause otherwise
you're just a marionette

What if I'm scared?

Then be scared, it says, be scared
and be with it.
Oct 4 · 36
Explore the Unknown
Me Oct 4
It can be
**** scary
the Unknown

**** scary
if your heart thinks
you have to
let go
of loved Ones
Sep 29 · 854
Words from Yin
Me Sep 29
Breaking down
the edgy masculinity
sure must be
frightening

throws you off
your feet and
catches you
unguarded

guess what
I always have been
without walls

and I'm alive

it's time to trust
your less competing side and love
yourself instead of
wanting me to love you
or-
if I do not show enough affection-
attack me to the fullest possibility

It s time to give your life
a new direction

Be a hunter if you want
but one with head
and heart
that hunts not for surviving
not for competition-

I'll throw a daring premonition
on the table:

if you don't find
your other side in you
if you cannot embrace it

you ll end up chasing
your own freedom.
**** it cannot be so hard, can it? Get a grip all you suckers and don't make it so hard for the ones who are actually ready.
Sep 29 · 7.4k
Crystal clear
Me Sep 29
No more lies
or games
no shame taken
on

I am
what I am
and will
with no fibre of me
adjust
just to make you feel
better.
Me Sep 29
If I was to make
a factual list of pain
it'd go like this:

best friend kicked out of the country for they had no
asylum status and politics are not humane and politicians have
no families it seems
mother in constant
ambivalent struggle and silently forces you
to play the family games or else
everyone shames you for not going along
and mother leaving for hospital every
now and then but always
always as surprise which terribly
terribly scares you and is locked in your big eyes
dad constantly afraid that mum could die like once they thought
she did and they left me alone upstairs
in a room where I had built a fortress with my guardian teddybears
alone and not alone
and heavy stones that sink when later
much much later father is not playing anymore but
seriously ill and wants to blank out conscious stuff that
must have been too rough in his child-heart and then he goes
and dies as well like his dad did but lets me know
before
and then the silent awe of mother and two sisters who
God forgive throw silent tantrums and are hitting me if I
point out the facts
aunt ill and tired and one day decides
to leave as well when I'm not close and learn it and receive it
as another shock
to trigger the long-awaited earthquake
to shake

to shake

all else and shake the whole **** out

and being shaken now like the boy in the other country and
my mum again in hospital and other institutions
like who cares anymore what other load is added to the heap and
maybe this is what it takes
to take a leap and
leap out
of it all-
with **** sticking still
to your hands
but it'll be a sign
of bravery-
get up
and shake it off

and dance




<3
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