[...] If there were shadows on the walls they would be dancing around what appears to be the most outrageous scenery in this whole liquid universe, the one spot of color which could be seen as color: in the center of the deep water lake, the still and tense water, there sits, like a satisfied child crossed-legged and full of sweets, a pink lotus blossom on a bed of its own green thick rubber leaves. This stunning sight contrasts everything else of what this cave accommodates in an almost exaggerated manner. It is a shrill primal artefact in the purest and most humble surrounding.
The flower is there by itself, unaccompanied by any other blossom or plant, and yet it could not be more at ease with its exact position and situation. The mere sight of it is the most pleasant image - if only due to its convulsing inadequateness.

You hear this, listen.
I sit, naked, covering up a bit. I sit in a field, and no one sits with me yet. I stand, sit or both in turn. My skin feels so open that every thing comes like a blow.

I felt like this so often during the past few months, maybe even years. I felt like this, and did not feel like this.

I was naked in the field and unshielded because I could. I was naked because I knew I could be, and that you were there with me, always. I knew it and did not know it.

The eyes closed, the eyes open, half open. And the knowing, always there, but sometimes just like a distant scent, afar, in the background, to be grasped only with utmost gentleness.

This knowing grew, and so did my heart. Until now, it seems to let everything touch it, again, and feel for everything.

I am naked in the field, and I see everyone else, naked, being there with me.

Eyes open or not.

Holy Christ how
the hell could we
for so long
leave out
of this gesture
the Mother
how
on earth
could we think
this would work

An orange rose
floates
on the surface
and touches
your skin
something inside you
rises
then curls
before you hurl
yourself
into a wave
of heat

I put my heart in this poem
and wrap it
for whoever'd like
to take a look-
open and see-
and with a shy grin
tap the upload button
there-
You have it

Is this just me or do you too feel like
no-one will play with you cause they are
infused with fear that
paralyses and do you
too have trouble to
differentiate whether it is
your personal mind giving you
this or whether this time
really
it is not you but
truly
everyone else

do you too have the urge to
pull everyone out of their
pale stupor and show them the
sunlight still there
do you too
have the urge to stand in the streets and shout look
at me my eyes are
not contagious

do you too have the feeling
something outrageous is happening here that
we have long
anticipated and
go through
now
in the most
disturbing way

or is it
really
just me

Is it just that
all things now
come together
Is it just
a warm confirmation
Is it
what I hope it
to be
Is this
a question,
Dear
or is it already
your answer

YOU don't need
anyone to tell you
how to grief
correctly how
to comfort a friend in
need how to
perceive the last deed of the guy in the news
that tore a
hole in you
for no
apparent reason
You don't need me to act
the way you feel
is right and ample
you don't need any bearded guy in any
temple tell you why
you're here
You don't even need to
finish reading
dear
get on with it
go
play the way YOU
like

No words
No making up or-
Just a simple
Wordless hug
I miss you

It's not any
outside force that decides
does the spin top drop
or not
it's YOU
Babe,
all along has been

You need to
Feel
The pressure first and see
Why
It was there
And maybe you'll
Discover
That it had quite
A purpose
All that time

Head first
she jumps into the twister and
is twisted
head to toe-

who could have known that-
blown away as everybody is-
she needed someone's understanding words
and touch.

That much I know.

My heart contains
So much
It sometimes
Frightens me

And my chest tightens
Full of sparkling needles
That pierce inside out
~
But when I stop
And think
And see-
It also contains you

And your heart-
In a momentary fight-
Also contains mine

This makes me free
Of fear
Of bonds
Of lack of time.

I did not quite
Realize
How much everything back then already
Related
To myself
And why
Like a million of needles
This song
Made me ache
In the weirdest of ways

Wearing a crown quite often
makes you feel very
lonely
and burdened

A weight on your head that
if you be honest
never fully felt
yours
in the first place

Now
sharing the weight
handing over a little
splinter of
this
very
crown
does feel

so much lighter
and just

my hands and feet, and that they are intact
my eyes and their colour
the fact that I can draw
my sisters
my niece
my very good friend
my other very good friend
my best friend who lives abroad
the fridge, and the fact that it is full of food
the fact that I can watch every youtube music clip I like to
possibility to get a tattoo
the warm blanket
my legs
social money
people who sing with me
my memories, some
water, to drink and wash myself, and for my niece to play with
sweets
teeth - or the other way around
my brain
light
peace, so far
luxury to have more than one pair of shoes
doctors
people who tell stories
people who are friendly for the sake of it
people who write - for the same reason

what else?

some sleep first