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Maytin Paige Jan 2014
The truth kills,
but so do lies.
Maybe I'd rather have you tell me lies-
even if I already know the truth.
Because I'd rather believe you
than lose you
and have this be the last time
I kiss your lips.
The truth is poison.
which runs its course
and kills.
I don't deserve to die.
You should tell me lies to keep poison from me,
although it's already
there.
I don't need any more poison.
I don't want to cry oceans
of tears.
Tell me lies
instead of
having me
drink poison.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
Pop
went my gum.
Eyeballs fall over me.
Faces glare in my direction.
I blow a pink bubble
just to undo a nerve
of theirs.
Pop**
goes my bubblegum.
Maytin Paige Dec 2013
My head seems to swirl.
I wish I had the guts to tell you
to
kiss me.
I just want to pretend I'm yours,
just for one minute.
I feel angry with myself.
I am overthinking,
wishful dreaming.
I feel out of touch.
Like an alien on Earth.
I feel out of place.
Like a knife placed with sets of guns.
I feel alone.
Even as I stand in a crowded room.
I open my mouth
but nothing comes out.
No one can hear me.
My breath comes out in huffs.
Kiss me
Make me yours
I want to tell you to take me
and do away with me.
I want you to pretend I'm someone else,
someone you can't live without.
I want you to tell me you love me,
even if you don't.
There's nothing wrong with saying stuff you don't mean.
We've done it our whole lives.
Why stop now.
Pretend I'm her
Tell me you love me
I want to be kissed, and touched, and loved, and devoured,
and yours.
Make me yours
For one night
Just pretend
Just for once
Take a minute, and pretend you love me
Just to keep me sane.
I've been going crazy since the day I met you.
Pretend you love me,
for my sake,
of staying sane.
*Tell me you love me
Maytin Paige May 2014
You said you'd never be this guy.
So what the hell happened?
Why are you being the ******* you promised not to be?
I want to talk to you.
I need to talk to you.
I just have to
because
one day I'm perfectly fine
while on others, I want to scream and cry because of the stuff you've done.
But I know you're not going to tell me what I want to hear.
Would you even meet me somewhere to talk?
Or would you ditch me?
I can't stand to be ripping at seams on those horrible days.
Why the hell are you this important to me?
I'm no beauty queen.
There isn't anything special about me with my ripped jeans and tshirt.
Maybe that's why you decided to leave me alone.
Maytin Paige May 2014
Did you decide to go?
Maybe go out with some friends afterwards and
toast to being a year closer to graduating?
Did you decide to ask the freshman who is only popular because of the clothes she wears and things she does?
Or are you staying home?
Are you all dressed up in a tux?
Possibly wondering what I'm doing and
what would it be like if you
had asked me?
Or maybe you're just getting off work and had decided to skip on Prom this year?
Are you walking onto the dance floor at this moment with a date or your friends and wondering if you should have asked
me instead-
while I sit here reading my book
and wondering if you're thinking of me?
Maytin Paige Jun 2014
We sowed something wonderful
we made each other faces,
shared private secrets,
and you didn't care that I gave you meaningless nicknames.
But then you up and left.
You left me.
Now you feel guilty for what you've done
and have no hint how to make it right.
Because I'm old enough to know
not to hang onto a man.
I'm too independent for that.
Maybe it's true,
I do wish it was the way it were.
But I'm not going to wait around
and beg for you.
So you feel guilty that you left me
and I'm over here
living my life as if you were never a sentence in my book,
though we both know you were a chapter or two.
Don't go tellin' me you're sorry for what you've done
and guilt is eating you alive
because, my dear, you reap what you sow.
Maytin Paige Mar 2014
My reflection shows in the mirror and
my rib cage protrudes from my skin
my hip bones jut out.
My hands run over my skin before I pull
a shirt over my head and pants up my legs.
You used to purposely freak me out.
You would **** in and skin would almost dissolve under your bottom rib.
You wanted me to stick my hand under your ribs, pressing into the dissolved skin.
That's the only part that freaked me out, pressing under your rib cage.
I didn't care that you could **** in and have your ribs show one by one.
I didn't care that you had me feel the dip in your sternum.
You used to pull your sweatpants down your thighs when you sat down.
There would be a skinny slot that the shorts you wore underneath and your boxers would leave because they hung onto your bulging hipbones.
I was to get over you.
I didn't fall for you until you showed your interest in me.
Finally, I began to like you in a way I never planned.
I was to get over you
that was the plan.
But you still have my head spinning
thinking I was stupid enough to fall again
and
here I am,
writing you a poem,
because hard work to keep myself in shape
even reminds me of you.
I guess I'm able to say life was about living for the night when I was with you
because talking to you alone got my mind off things and allowed me to have fun.
Maytin Paige Mar 2014
Why do people
look at me
cross-eyed
when I turn up to volume
as Alice in Chains,
Nirvana,
Black Sabbath,
Guns N' Roses,
and all my rock music
pulse through the speakers
of my Jeep?
Is it that unexpected?
Because it surprises me most when you
have that puzzled look on your face.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
Everyone says
that Romeo & Juliet
is the
greatest love story
of all time.
I happen to agree.
But not because
they commit suicide
due to their passion for each other,
but because of you.
We read Romeo and Juliet as a class.
Act II Scene II
Capulet's Orchard.
I was Juliet.
And you sat across the room in your desk.
Dost thou love me? I know thou wilt say 'Ay,'
I read.
Ay,
I heard you say,
as did the class.
No one said a word
but waited for me to continue.
And I will take thy word: yet if thou swear'st,
And maybe I did take your word for it.
Though, maybe I shouldn't have.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
I bet you don't think about me.
That I don't run through your mind.
But I'm kept up at night.
By thoughts of you
running through my mind.
Maytin Paige Dec 2013
I am selfish.
                   You are nothing of the sort.
I am cliche.
                   Of which you are not.
i dream of boys like every girl does
i dream of love under the timeline of forever
i believe passion drives us to insanity
i believe that we're born to waste away this planet, only to die
i dream of freedom
i dream of kindness and fantasies
                     This sounds of similarity and unlikeness.
we are all selfish. whether we are kind or arrogant. we are all selfish and are too blind to see. but one thing is true: ignorance is bliss.

because being non-knowing cannot hurt you.
                     We don't hurt ourselves.
oh, this is very untrue. we do, indeed, hurt ourselves.
                      How is that so?
we create so much passion for something that does not return it in any form. therefore, we set ourselves up for failure.
                       But when the passion is ubiquitously returned....?
we still set ourselves up for failure. even when we are being adored, we dream of better, wishfully hoping, therefore, setting us for failure.

*in this way, we are selfish.
Maytin Paige Jan 2015
You selfish boy!
How can you bear to tear my heart to pieces?
Now I can only ask myself,
my best friend,
what did I do wrong?
was there something I could have done to make you hold my heart in gentle hands?

I exclaim that I am stupid.
Stupid for falling for you.
Stupid.
Stupid for believing that someone could, just possibly, love me. Love me in a moment or love me eternally.
Tears stain the paper I write on.
My stomach turns with sickness, yet I want to inhale food.
I close my eyes and breathe in deep.
You did this.
Not me.
But that doesn't help because you did this to me.
Trails of tears stiffen on my cheeks.
I look at my marked skin.
love
Love yourself.
That's what I need to do.
I need to love myself.
The thought still floats in my mind.
Because all I can ask is what did I do? what did I do to deserve this?
All because you decide to be selfish.
A.N. Ink stains my skin, not marks of harm. But feel free to take either way. :)
Maytin Paige Feb 2014
Nothing is ever out of reach
when you're seventeen,
anything is possible.
Because when you have
to do your dreams on your own
turn to nightmares
that haunt you.
Because this is life we were
taught to live.
Maytin Paige Dec 2013
I'm standing in the corner, blocked in by you.
You take another hit, insulting me.
I see my heart in a glass box, on a brass pedestal over your shoulder.
Large holes shatter the box.
Looking down, cuts on my wrist
bulge purple and red,
and I wonder,
if you would feel better
to watch me while I bleed.
Around me, TV screens, light bulbs,
and the glass box
shatter in pieces to the floor.
Brightness fills the room
as my ruby red diamond heart
is no longer in sight.
Strength overwhelms me though.
No more cutting.
No more bashing my head in the mirror.
And I realize that,
You can try to tear me down
But as long as I'm Me
I'll be taller than you'll ever be.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
I'm done fighting with you today.*
He clears his throat and looks to the ground,
Whatever, go hang out with your boy toy.
I huff out a breath.
Excuse me?
He looks up.
Luke! Go hang out with him, since you guys are so intrigued with each other!
I scoff.
Well, I'm not going to show any interest for a guy that is rude and acts as if he doesn't care! Whether he does or not!
I don't show it because you already know!
I grow angrier.
*I don't know it, I infer it! I won't know unless you say something!
Not necessarily a poem, just some possible situations.
Maytin Paige Sep 2014
It haunts you.
Yet someone is bound to break it
as it needs to be broken.
Maytin Paige Dec 2013
I wanna call him up on a cold September day
ask him to meet me at the swings,
Walk a block to every little kid's dream
the playground.
The one behind their rebuilt elementary school.
I lightly swing to and fro
watch as he pulls in and parks before a concrete bar.
Watch as he climbs out and
makes his way over to me.
To the swings.
Keys around his *******.
He looks up
meeting my eyes.
He watches as I slightly swing back and forth,
An arm hooks around the metal chain of the swing next to me.
His toes keep to the ground,
rocking his swing.
My legs swim in the autumn air as I'm pushed forward.
I get a chill as the cool air
bites into my skin
covered by a light jacket.
The smell of smoke,
burning leaves,
fills the air.
He doesn't understand
how he's all I ever wanted.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
Have you seen the snow
as it falls
on a winter night
that was dark as could be?
White dots flew at me through
my headlights.
The night swallowed me
in its darkness.
High-beams would make
snow
fly at me faster,
the white dots
brighter.
A fog-like
blanket of snow
ghosted
over the road,
hiding lines and tire tracks.
It was so very beautiful.
Snow,
white
as milk.
It flew at me in flakes,
and ghosted over the road in blankets.
Maytin Paige Mar 2014
How could you just drop me in a day?
Stop talking all together,
and not even look my way.
What happened to the times
where we'd go flying down the open highway
with wind blowing through our hair
sunglasses covering our eyes as the sun began to set?
And the days where I meant something?
Where you showed interest in being with me
and talking nonstop?
The days you held me in your arms
and
even had the courage to tell ****** jokes?
Those were the days but now they're gone.
Because I thought we were ready for something else.
And it almost felt like heaven.
Thought I meant something, but guess not.
Our younger days-are now gone.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
I wonder about you
sometimes.
Somedays
you act like
my best friend-
though I already have one.
But you were one of mine,
growing up.
I guess you still could be.
Other days
you act like
you are disgusted
to be within
1119 feet of me.
Some days
you'll be nice as can be.
Other days,
you'll anger me to the point
of frustration.
You call me A ****
your argument is because I'm a poophead
but it takes one to know one
and you're okay with that.
I catch the way your eyes linger on mine.
I see in pictures
that have been taken by a friend
the way you stare at me
when I'm not looking.
You tell me things
but
I can see in your face
that you don't actually mean them
in the way you say.
I wonder about you
sometimes.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
I had a lot to say.
Wanted to put my thoughts
through your mind
help you understand.
Things are different now.
I think about how we
came all this way
from where we started,
every single day.
I had a lot to say,
but now
all I have to say is
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry about all the things I said.
I'm sorry about everything I did.
I'm sorry it has to be this way.
I had a lot to say
but now
all I have to say is
I'm sorry.
Maytin Paige Mar 2015
A memory makes smile.
That moment sparked a fire. It was everything I had wished for.
I always wanted those moments, within these years, that I could look back on, in 40 years, and laugh or even say how stupid I was. That's what I wanted.
I was such a cautious child though. I knew it was better to be safe rather than sorry.
Honestly, it was when I turned sixteen that I realized that I would rather be sorry than safe.
I'd rather regret something of spontaneous moments than regret not taking a chance at whatever the topic may be.
It was when I went fifteen mph over the speedlimit to beat you, yet still lose, did I feel that adrenaline. Maybe it was just for a moment, but I looked forward to it each day.
You and I would race back to our destination
and tease each other about as soon as our vehicles were put in park.
I didn't understand how in the hell you would beat me each day.
It was because you went sixty-five mph in a thirty-five zone.
It makes me smile.
It was a moment that sparked a fire.
I can now look back and laugh about how stupid I once was.
Maybe I am stupid, but I'm happy.
No way that your Dodge Neon can beat my baby.
Maytin Paige Mar 2015
I'll be the first to admit that I love
that adrenaline rush.
I loved having the chance to be the wild child I wanted to be.
It was all great.
Speed Racer.
I've seen you almost smash into a guardrail on a bridge,
have two head-on-collisions.
One with a car, the other with a bus.
You've hit 95 in 35 mph zone. I couldn't wrap my head around how you did that.
It's scared me from day 1 that one of us could get hurt.
That adrenaline rush kept me going though.
Racing you, Speed Racer, was my guilty pleasure.
However, I don't know what I would do
if I could stand seeing you
crash into a guardrail
or have a head-on collision.
I can't be responsible.
And when that chick told me that she hoped I crashed because it would be funny...
That's why I told you I couldn't participate anymore.
It kills me, Speed Racer.
My resistance can only be so strong.
It kills me that I can't take part in my guilty pleasure.
It kills me that I can no longer race you, Speed Racer.
Maytin Paige May 2014
stay....stay....stay
i'll let you break my heart as much as
you want
as long as you stay
stay....stay....stay
Maytin Paige Dec 2013
cue laughing and happy memories,
which slowly die out
History.
Having history with someone,
everything is different.
We've claimed friends
and
acquaintances.
We've hid feelings,
or tried to.
We have memories.
Being obnoxious together.
Having heartfelt conversations.
Sharing laughs.
Realizing how much we actually relate.
Sharing secrets.
Telling each other stuff no one knows.
Making promises.
Keeping them, too.
Gotten ourselves in dangerous situations.
Fighting of stupid little things
and things that bothered us way to much.
Talked about plans for the future.
Saying how we were going to follow our dreams,
make them come true.

They say that once you hit high school,
and once you escape to the real world,
you grow apart.
Don't look at people who you used to care for.
Believe in people who don't care for you.
I thought that was our case.
We were a bunch of childhood friends.
But if I needed you,
you were there.
You always replied.
You were rude
and caring
and nervous
and bored.
I almost didn't look your way,
for more than I needed to.
You were someone
who I had been friends with
who I shared a class, here and there, with.
That's all you were,
until...
Until someone brought us up.
Being together.
Saying we were perfect.
Telling us what we had dreamed of as little kids.
Stupid dreams and future love.
Maybe they were right.
That'd make us geniuses as little kids-
stupid adolescents.
My brain shifted back to our little kid dreams.
I knew yours did too.
Just for a while.
Sometimes,
we still laugh.
You anger me more than anyone anymore.
Some of the stuff you've said.
Some of the situations you put me in.
Sometimes I think I see you staring.
But I wonder,
do I imagine it?
Or is there longing still there inside of you?

As I write this,
I sit behind my door,
with my back to the wall.
Curiosity has consumed me.
My mind has been taken over by stupid kids that I don't even care about.
If it weren't for them
I wouldn't have come to this conclusion.
We'd still be classmates,
former friends.
But now,
I sit and wonder
do we really care for each other?
Or do we loathe each other,
just happy with the company of loathing?
I sit here, writing this,
repeatedly running my hand through my hair,
feeling up and down,
staring out the window
into beyond,
looking to nature and its beauty
as if it were to give me an answer.
Curiosity has consumed me,
but I know, that deep down
there is more than loathing
in your soul
and in mine.
cue laughing and memories
that slowly die out
Maytin Paige Dec 2013
I down the shot of whiskey. It burns its way down my throat. I shut my eyes and take a deep breath of fresh air as it sails in from outside. I open my eyes and flick my lighter. Watch as it sparks alive and latches itself onto the end of my clove cigarette, melting it.
I inhale and my lungs fill. I release, contracting my lungs. Smoke floats out and diffuses into the atmosphere. I breathe in the smell of the sweet addiction.

Once I'm finished, I lay back down beside her. She has the face of an angel. So sweet, so innocent. I stare at the peacefulness on her face and try to figure out why she chose me. Why she loves me. There's nothing special about me. I reach over and run my fingers through her soft, straight, blonde hair that's sprawled out on the pillow behind her. Her hands are tucked beneath her cheek.

I remember back to when I asked her to come with me. I didn't really want to go, but I know she did and I would do anything for her. We danced around the living room of our tiny house to the static of the AM radio. She refused to dance to some hip-pop song that they repeated on the radio. Her face brightened as she laughed. I kissed her cheeks then random places on her face. She laughed and squirmed but never stopped swaying with me.
"Let's do it. Let's travel. Europe, Mexico, Asia, Canada. Wherever you want to go." Her smiles softened as she looked into my eyes. She searched to see a bluff. Yet, there wasn't one. She wanted to get away. I would give her a getaway. I would give her anything.

We ended up in Rome first. We wrapped the moon around us as we slept under the stars.
London was next. We rode the London Eye many times around. She laughed the whole way.
Mexico was third. Just hours ago, we walked into a dated diner. She chose the corner booth in the back. Secluded and comfy. Even with all the space the booth provided, we sat hip to hip. Talking and giggling. We spent the evening in that booth, talking about anything and everything, meaningful or not. It felt not long after we arrived, a Hispanic woman walked over to us, letting us it was time to close. We said our apologies and left. Deciding to rent a hotel room, we chose a ancient one. One with columns and historical means-in her eyes.

The French doors let air blow in, the curtains connected to the doors ruffled. I slid my fingers from her hair and ran my callused thumb down the side of her face. I was so lucky to have her. I hadn't a clue to what I'd do without her.
"I love you," I whispered. The air ****** my words into infinity and beyond. I pressed my lips to her forehead, careful not to wake her.

Just like whiskey and clove cigarettes, she was my sweet addiction.
Maytin Paige Sep 2014
you sTare at  my back
wHile i mix mAgNesium and copper sulfate.
your brain tries to function and wrap around what to say.
megan tooK my chair.
i turn and argue that i didn't.
i've been uSing this chair all period.
you continue to playfully argue with me until deciding that i am going to win this 'argument'
because i go to pull yours from under you.
my nose presses into your shoulder.
you smell of Tide and manly musk.
so Attractive.
You grip the stool of your chair as it rocks against the floor.
you go on to tease me about how your chem project is
without flaw
and how you're the best there ever was.
Maytin Paige Jun 2014
It was you and me, baby
but that's not the case anymore.
My hair is in a loose knot atop my head
from a days activities.
Strands of my bangs and loose pieces
fly in the circulation of air around the room.
I couldn't think of a reason to stay and try,
besides the fact that I wasn't scared.
I never cared what people thought,
and now won't be the start.
Maybe I'm better off being sorry
than I would've been if I had played it safe.
Are you trying to be the hero
and save me from this heartbreak?
Thinking ignorance is bliss
when it really isn't.
Are you just being a shallow human being
that I once believed you weren't?
Things felt like they were going good
and then the bad thing took its toll.
I'm not the angel I used to be,
but you aren't the cause.
Possibly a piece to the puzzle of making me who I am,
though.
Should I be happy that I wasn't afraid
or
should I be sorry that I didn't play it safe?
I've said my piece.
There's nothing left to say.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
Your stare is empty
as you look through me.
I remember when I said
"And I don't wanna go home right now because I don't wanna miss you tonight."
But now,
I think
Don't speak as I try to leave or I'll fall right back to you.
I want to tell you,
"Please know this isn't your fault."
We both know this isn't good for us.
And we both know what we'll choose.
I see you fading away as each day continues.
We walk along and refuse to make amends.
Because you pull and I push my way back to you.
I see my dreams divided and broken that I wish on over and over, sparkling in the night sky.
Only because you don't want me to see you break.
I tell you
"Don't speak as I try to leave,"
as I turn away
Cause we both know how this ends,
but it was worth it every time.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
It's 11:19pm
The time is significant to you.
I want to call you up.
I want to see what you're doing.
It is now 11:20pm.
This time is significant to me.
I want to call you up
Only because you're the only
person I know
that would be awake.
Maytin Paige Feb 2014
It's fascinating how
something so simple
and small
can bring up a box full of memories.
A photograph,
driving past a location,
revisiting old hangouts.
This was the place that I grew up.
It's fixed up from what it used to be.
Skipping school-
having only being caught twice.
Running out to the parking lot and squealing off like
a bandit.
The old arcade,
blowing dollar bills
left and right.
Winning worthless prizes.
Singing every song
we ever knew
to the steering wheel.
Having plans to get out here and have our big dreams come true.
Having my first kiss
by the train tracks.
The school is now closed.
The Mall and arcade were shut down.
The same old song are played on the radio.
The train station now terminated.
Weeds and dandelions grown of the rails.
The faces are all still the same.
Memories can't be erased
or replaced.
I miss that town.
I miss the people.
I believe I miss the one place I promised I'd never return.
I want to stay.
It's too hard to leave.
It's time to say Goodbye.
Because nothing will ever change.
Maytin Paige Dec 2013
You know,
I've realized
that you don't need
to fly
to be Superman.
You don't need to be strong
to be Superman.
You don't have to be fast
to be Superman.
You don't have to have super vision,
super hearing,
super intelligence,
or super breath
to be Superman.
We all have a weakness,
yours is said to be
Kryptonite.
You don't have to have super powers
to be Superman.
You don't have to wear an S on your chest,
to be Superman.
People don't have to know you
to be Superman.
To be Superman,
you just have to fight for what you love.
Maytin Paige Feb 2014
You broke my best friend's heart
without knowing it.
Even if you are my friend
she's my best friend
and you broke her heart.
You're handsome.
You're super nice.
She thought you liked her
the way you were around her.
Until you showed me your phone,
when you were texting the other girl.
You said you were talking
and had a date this Friday.
Although she was not at my side,
I could see her heart
break-
cracks spreading throughout.
Do I tell her? Do I not say anything save her from heartbreak as of now?
I took a breath and decided to tell her
try to let her down easy
and keep her from being broken over a best friend hiding a secret
and a long-time crush looking away from her.
It took her forever to respond
and I knew she was hurt.
There was nothing I could do to make the pain disappear
and that bothered me.
Why do we always fall for others who don't like us?
I can't stand to see my best friend heartbroken and bothered.
Ty
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
Ty
If I were to see
his icy blue eyes,
I'd know to run the other way.
He made me trust him.
He made me believe him.
I flew high-
way above cloud nine.
If I felt
warm, sweaty hands over my eyes,
I'd know it was him.
To scream ****** ******
would be an understatement.
He used to scratch my head
as if I were his sister.
If I heard
his voice,
I'd whip around
ready to bolt.
I'd know to stay away,
as far as possible
like a fish to a shark.
I'd hope you'd have enough
common sense to
dive underground before anything got physical
because you really hurt me.
Maytin Paige Jan 2015
It was a Thursday morning,
when a boy, so young and full of life,
fell victim to his own mind.
It's truly a tragedy that his best friend went over to skip school with him,
only to find him lifeless.
Teenagers, parents, friends, and family all became united once more to overcome the sad emptiness they felt from their loss.
Something so unpredictable. I can only hope that he had the time of his life. And I wish he could've realized that it's never too late.
RIP Collin.
1.15.15

*Such a tragedy that you believed it wouldn't get better. So sad that you will no longer be here to add life and excitement to others' day.
Please understand that you are a perfect angel and there's always people who care. It's never too late.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
Do you pause
your video game
to answer her back?
Or do you keep answers short until
she stops responding,
like I do?
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
I swallowed the lump
in my throat
as I climbed into the passenger seat.
Are you sure this is what you want? There's no going back.
I nodded, ready to burst into tears.
She sighed.
I knew if I didn't do this,
I'd be more hurt
than I am now,
than I ever have been.
She turned the key to start the truck.
I watched as the building disappeared in the side mirror.
Why did she let me do this?
I wiped tears off my cheeks,
trails being stained.
Why am I doing this?
Why is she letting it happen?
She let me walk away from something I love.
Maytin Paige Feb 2014
I let my fingers run over my skin.
Feeling
every bump,
every dip,
every vein protruding
from flesh.
I look into the man's eyes
as life disappears
Looking him in the eyes
as he becomes still.
Watching hurts more
than knowing.
Maytin Paige Feb 2014
There are many things
that you could teach me.
      to snowboard
      to be good at Mario Kart
      to laugh and have fun on my own
      to kiss with passion
      to let my walls down
There are some things
that I could teach you.
      to drive a stick-shift
      to do Pre-Calc
      to speak French
      to love other sports
There are things
we could help each other on.
      to get better at soccer
      to fix cars
Mario Kart is your SPECIALTY-as you say.
I've been driving a manual for three years.
I know about classic cars.
You know about new ones under the classic name.
I'd like to say that maybe we could have deeper conversations,
but we already do that now.
What could beat the PG-13 discussions we have?
If anyone took them out of context,
they'd be rated X.
By our word choice.
But within context,
they're perfectly harmless.
We make plans
but if we're gonna do anything
you might as well fill those shoes and take care of me.
Because I'd do the same for you.
*Parce, bébé, je pense que je suis tomber pour vous.
Maytin Paige Feb 2014
I try to swallow
the lump in my throat,
but it stays in place.
Restricting my breathing.
I"m surely surprised by
the want of a smooth beer
running down my esophagus.
My mouth suddenly feels dry.
I bite the inside of my lip.
Maybe I could drink enough to forget you.
But I know that the whiskey
won't be strong enough to take away this pain.
I wonder what you would think if you found
that I drank myself to alcohol poisoning.
Would you even bat an eyelash?
I just want to take a shot
to see if it'll take away this pain.
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
I itch to know
what makes you tick.
I can see it in your eyes
when you want to
freak out.
I can see it in your face
as you tap
and click
and mess with the lock on the door.
It hurts to know
that you
are bothered
and that I can't
do anything about it.
You refuse to let it out
to let people know you
are under pressure
to let people know your are vulnerable
and
able to break-
crack into pieces.
I promise to put you back together
as best as I can.
I hate to see you this way.
I itch to know
what makes you
tick.
Maytin Paige Mar 2014
I want to be
that wild seventeen year old.
Doing things that Daddy would let me spend
the night in jail for.
Take me out past that ranch
where no one should be.
Ignore the sign on the fence as we jump it and
run like hell
having the time of our lives.
Let's go down by the river and spin
those ATV and Jeep tires in that brown mud.
Go sit out behind that ole barn,
peeling with paint,
and down a bottle of whiskey.
Let's be innocent and free.
But I can't be that person-
I will maintain a clean record
and live my life safely.
No matter how much the edge temps me.
I just wanna be that wild
seventeen year old
before it's too late.
You
Maytin Paige Jan 2014
You
I miss the way you'd tell me
goodnight
and how you'd text me in the
morning.
When I look at you,
I can see the little
innocent boy.
I can tell by your face.
Even though your jaw has strengthened,
the way it is defined by a hard line;
even though stubble grows on your face.
I see the way your fingers twitch
when you're nervous.
I see the way your eyes wander and space off for a few seconds.
I can tell you're tired by the look in your eyes.
The way your hair becomes volumized when you hold it back with your hand
as you read something.
I see the way your jaw clenches when you're upset.
The way your body relaxes in a chair.
I see the way your shoulders hunch over
after you roll them.
I hear the way your voice rumbles through your chest.
I see the way your eyes search for my face through the windshield of my Jeep
as I pull in behind you.
I see the way your stare lingers,
our eyes seeking meaning
and answers.
I miss our memories together but mainly
I miss the way you'd tell me goodnight
and
text me in the morning.
Maytin Paige Apr 2014
The faces that we made at
each other
haunt my thoughts
as you celebrate
4/20
by blazing up.
Maytin Paige Oct 2014
Just because I gave you the rope doesn't mean you had to hang me with it.
Just because she let you stand guard didn't give you the right to tighten the knot.
I trusted you
and
now I feel sick.
Maytin Paige May 2014
We left these everything unanswered
and never had any form of closure.
You left me with these memories,
the good ones great,
the bad ones not so great.
I'm sorry for everything I've done,
but maybe if you show me what your dreams are made of,
we can make sense of this ordeal.
Because I know you still have something, buried deep within.
Did you want to tell me about selling your car?
Did you want to text me about the scar that now wraps around your ankle?
If you're done with us,
and trying to get over our conversations and memories,
than I'd appreciate it if you'd leave me out of it.
Close the door on the way out instead of trying to waste my time.
But if I'm the one wasting your time,
it's your call.
You left me,
so maybe I'll go show someone else what my dreams are made of.
Maytin Paige Apr 2014
i feel like running my fist through the wall
because of you.
Maytin Paige Jun 2014
They say I'm the best for you
and
you're the worst for me.
But you gave me the adventure that
I had longed for.
So either you're the best or worst thing for me.
Giving me the adventure that I'd wanted
letting me be free and broaden my horizons.
You gave me something that I didn't have.
I helped you be a better person
have a wider outlook on life.
Whether someone told you
that you deserved better than to be with someone
like me,
due to stereotypes,
or
someone told you that I deserved better than you-
you decided to take off.
Now you're claiming that
you're a fool.
Needing to know if someone has taken my pain,
my trust.
If someone better took your place,
or
is someone swooping in
and making your destruction
even worse.
I don't believe you have that right though,
because you gave me something I didn't have
then ripped
it right out of my hands.
Maytin Paige Oct 2014
I think it's cute how your face scrunches up when you laugh.
Your eyes squint into slits.
Your nose crinkles.
Your mouth opens.
Your small, baby-like, teeth flash.
It makes me laugh because it's cute.
You do it way too often,
and it makes my day better,
to be honest.
Your laugh causes me to laugh,
which makes my day better.
Maytin Paige Oct 2014
Being a photographer
almost automatically
gives you the
right
to be in someone's business.
To know secrets.
You can get in someone's face
and be all creeper-like
and not have it be too big of a deal.
You feel giddy when that one person
wants to be your continuous subject.
As you watch through the lens,
you see every move,
capture every shot-
every motion.
You learn to see the real beauty within each movement a person makes.
I have your photograph,
but it doesn't feel like it's enough.
It's addictive,
it's beautiful.
Your photograph means something to someone.
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