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Lia Aug 2016
i need you to be brave because i am scared
i need you to be blunt because i am coy
i need you to be mean because i am too nice
i need you
Lia Aug 2016
***
why:
- because of the feeling in the pit of my stomach when i look at him

why not:
- because of the feeling in the pit of my stomach when i look at him
Lia Aug 2016
**
i want him so badly
that i'm shivering
he thinks i'm cold so he pulls me closer
Lia Jul 2016
.
silent nights
are not holy nights
the silence
the silence
aching for caterwauls & wails
look around you
in the dark
the dark
can you see static?
can you hear it close in on you?
the silence becomes louder, LOUDER
your ears bleed
Lia Jul 2016
when i was a kid my summers tasted like
pink lemonade & ice cream

now they taste like mike's lemonade & prime times
(okay and ice cream too some days)

the hot stale air rises the same as it has my whole life
steaming from the Arizona pavement
i stand barefoot on my driveway at night
even though it is still almost hot enough to burn me

when i was a kid i sat outside at night
under a willow tree
& i wrote poems about birds & snakes
about field mice
but then my cat died and we buried him under that tree
so i stopped going out there

in my teens my writing started
to sour with anger and ****** urges
i spent more time alone

now as an adult i forgot how to be around other people
i write about my perception of
"pain", & my insignificant "suffering"
how we are all dying, how even the trees
& the animals i wrote about are dead now

i forgot how to be happy
Lia Jul 2016
i wish i didn't miss him so
much
that i can't sleep sometimes
because i'm trying to remember
exactly what he smelled like
& trying to forget how thoughtless he was
Lia Jul 2016
rage
rage rage rage rage ragefearragerageragerage  ragerage rage
rage rage rage rage rage rage rage rage rage rage rage rage ragerage
rage rage rage rage ragerageragehaterage ragerage rage ragethirstragerage
rage rage

rage rage rage ragesickragerage
rage
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